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I hope everyone's days are looking brighter. I haven't updated in more than a month because it had been smooth sailing. I broke 4 months of no contact over the Thanksgiving holiday and I do not regret it. I know this may disappoint some of you, but we each have are own path to walk through these horrible situations we have been placed. I sent a simple email wishing her and her family a Happy Thanksgiving. Breadcrumbs, I admit it. She replied in kind a few days later and said she thought she would never hear from me again and that I was long gone from the area.

We texted lightly throughout the next week, just catching up, leading up to what would have been our 2 year anniversary. I was out Christmas shopping that night and she asked me to swing by so we could talk. (I took the bait, but didn't bite down fully though.) I popped in and we talked on her porch for about an hour that night. Man, how far they fall... She did indeed lose the business partnership due to her behavior. She had to take an 8-5 desk job at a doctor's office making $18/hour and has to work on weekends at a couple of other low wage jobs to make ends meet. Basically no life but working anymore. She has lost significant weight to the point of looking unhealthy and had drunk an entire bottle of wine at happy hour before I saw her. Attractive! We both cried some as we talked. At the end of our time I felt nothing but pity for her. I thought it might be bad, but not this bad. After all that I felt absolutely nothing for her. No need to save or rescue, no KISA feelings. We hugged, said goodnight, and I left. I felt vindicated in a small way though because it was clear to both of us that night that she thrown a good man away and is reaping what she sowed. Back to NC.

I only shared this with one other person so far and she was so gentle and amazing about it. Thanks Brentwood...Much love to you always. Peace and love to you all.

Good to hear you could meet with her without getting entangled in a new web of lies from her Jack.

Did you get any sense of regret from her?

Is she still with the chiropractor?

Did you also get to see her daughter?

Keep taking good care of yourself.

Thank you for the update. I don’t want to call this a win because it is sad to read that she has fallen so far. It does however indicate that you are healing, moving on without hanging onto the anger and bitterness. Keep moving on with your life.

Steve- I got a small sense of regret, but I believe it was more a regret that she messed up her own life versus mine, or her daughter's. She was really matter of fact about it. "This is my life now." I did not get to see her daughter and while losing touch with her has been the worst part to move past, I insisted that I not see her as part of us being back in contact. It wouldn't have been fair to either of us. I didn't ask about her personal life because it's none of my business, and I don't really want to know. He was supposedly already long gone back when we tried to reconnect at the end of July, so I left it alone.

Yes shockedmom, it is sad that she has fallen so far. That is why I felt pity for her. I do also believe though that it wasn't for my faith, and the work I have done on myself physically and emotionally these past few months, I could have very easily slid back into pursuit/savior mode. Solid boundaries are everything to me right now. That and practicing self love. I just can't see myself lowering my standards to be with someone like her again.

I hope this gives you closure and will allow you to move forward with someone who truly is deserving of your love.

It sounds to me that you have reached a place where your heart and mind are very nearly aligned.

I know it must hurt to create boundary around the child. You were strong to create it and strong to adhere to it.

Thanks Timelessloss. It's all so strange. After posting earlier today I got triggered and had a total meltdown when I got home from work. Didn't break NC though. Went to the gym and worked it out and have calmed down for now. What happened to our life makes me very sad.

Jack, you've done amazingly!

Jack,

May 2017 to December 2017... incredible change and growth in you. Keep working hard as you have been.

Your thought patterns probably went down another track after your visit. More grieving, sense of loss.

Your compass is all over the place, gyrating back and forth. It will settle down again. Once it does stay on course.