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FUCKER!!!!!!!

Document, go for sole physical and legal custody and SUPERVISED visitation ONLY.

And emergency counselor appointments for them. Unbefuckinglievable.

((((IDE & DDs))))

I'm keeping my fingers crossed this is the event that gets you full custody and gets him supervised.

You have witnesses with the airline involvement and with both children knowing youngest was drugged. You have the fact she did not have her inhaler. Do you have the receipt for it or can you track that down? You have the fact you were not aware this was happening and thank goodness you were nearby the airport.

I'm so sorry.

Taking her inhaler wasn't only a dick move..it was a dangerous move. I have asthma. When you can't breath...you can't freaking breath!!

Holy Hell.

And drugging her wouldn't have prevented an asthma attack. It would have made it harder for her to wake up and try and get help.

Appalling.

All so he could keep it for himself???

He basically proved he isn't parent material. I would give my last breathe for my child...as would any parent.

If your attorney doesn't say you're going for full custody after this shit? Fire him and get another attorney.

First of all, this is 100% child abuse in multiple levels. I'm so glad that you are divorced from this asshole.

Now that you have the moment of clarity, you need to power through and get sole/full custody for the sake of your kids. They are too young to fully articulate this, but your EX is not a safe and responsible adult. In any way shape or form. The fact that he put them on a plane with zero preparation is bad enough, drugging an asthmatic child... I don't even have words.

You know what you need to do, and now you have to do it. We've got your back.

My blood boils for you and your girls....

I only post this because it sounded as if you were under the impression they had an escort the whole flight. I wanted you to know that I'm 95% sure they did not.

All the flights I've been on that had kids the flight attendants watched them. I never saw an actual escort stay with them.

They are usually let on the plane first and get a seat up front so it is easy to watch. At least the flights I've seen kids fly by themselves.

I just can't believe he would send her without her inhaler.

When this gets taken in front of a judge and if s/he doesn't think that it was a big deal about the inhaler ask them to talk to some asthmatic people on what they think of it.

And like another poster said her being asleep doesn't prevent her from having an attack. I don't know how many times I've woken up because of an attack.

[This message edited by HearMe at 6:57 PM, November 26th (Saturday)]

Oh my God! I cannot think of any words to describe how appalled I am. That dirty bastard.

I would take her to a lab and have bloodwork done to see "what" he actually gave her.

I wish you success with your atty.

Gaining full legal custody most likely won't keep this type of shit from happening in the future.

I'd hit back on this by modifying the placement schedule to restrict him from taking the kids more than "x" number of hours from home. He's definitely given you enough evidence to make that happen.

Keeping the inhaler that is prescribed to your DD is just dangerous and irresponsible. Not only does it make him a total fuck-up as a father -- it's also not really legal to use medications that are prescribed to someone else.

I'm sorry the girls were traumatized and glad that they made it home safely (no thanks to that douchewagon).

Wow. Sending them on a flight alone without telling you at all would be enough to send me through the roof. The inhaler issue is an entirely different universe of fucked up.

I would have your attorney file for some sort of emergency hearing. I would weigh very carefully the potential consequences of refusing to let him have the kids at all until you've gone before a judge.

Let's assume worst case, that you won't get before a judge before he has them again and/or a judge won't give you supervised visits bc "nobody got hurt... yet" (which is sadly how these things work in most cases). You need a back up plan. Both children need phones. They need to know how to contact you and when to contact you.

You need to be prepared to act quickly if they contact you. As an example, if they had texted or called you from the airport, you would need to get in contact with the airport security and tell them he's putting two kids on a flight alone and kept the inhaler. They are going to have to advocate for themselves. Loudly and every single time.

He is an asshole who has no business being with your children unsupervised. I don't think that's how the court will see it though.

I'm with the poster who said you should get a blood test to see what he did give her. I don't know how long meds would stay in her blood, so maybe even tomorrow (walk in clinic)???

And I also echo all of the others, he is a danger to your children, maybe not by evil design, maybe just by stupidity. Either way, not good.

If he can afford an $8000 Prada purchase he can afford his own freaking inhaler. And he can afford a babysitter, not an escort, for the girls to return with.

I wish you the best of luck when you deal with your x through the courts. Get a Dr's note about the importance of the inhaler being with her at all times. And if you can find out what "pill" he gave her, find out if it was for a child, what dose, and have your Dr. give an opinion on that as well.

I'm so sad to read this.

Holy crap. I wouldn't leave a dog with that a$$wipe.

I really hope you can get supervised visits only.

Was it her inhaler he took? Does he have asthma? I mean, WTF? And drugging her?

There are no words. I will keep you and the girls in my prayers, & hope you can get full custody with supervised visits only for him.

I don't know if I missed it, but how did you know to be at the airport to get them if he didn't tell you he put them on a plane?

OMG, I'm livid! I just posted in new beginnings about my XH and his whore wanting to dye my dd's hair! That is nothing compared to the sheer danger your XH put your dd's. I cannot fathom putting my children on the plane and not even informing the other parent that was picking them up!

I so hope that you will have a judge that will see straight through this asshole's ways. This man should not be allowed alone with your girls at all.

Most of the unescorted flight issues will not matter to a judge. I flew on a plane by myself (no chaperone in those days) when I was 12 and I thought it was a great adventure. I was proud to be so grown up and had zero problems.

Contact the airline and find out what the procedure is for meeting unescorted children. You may be able to prevent your XH from taking your DDs anywhere via airline again - even on a vacation. Be sure you can prove that you had no knowledge that they were unescorted and you would need to meet them at the gate.

I would go hard after the lack of inhaler and pre=flight medication. Did XH take DD's inhaler for himself?

This is reprehensible, unconscionable, disgusting. The fear and anxiety that your daughters were feeling would be enough to send me over the edge with this pitiful excuse of a father.

That you did not know this was the plan...

That the airport staff did not know this was the plan...

That your daughters did not know this was the plan...

That he took your youngest's inhaler...

That he fed her pills with the express purpose of making her pass out...

He is a sick, selfish son-of-a-bitch.

I will pray for you. Run this asshole into the ground.

[This message edited by JellyGirl84 at 1:32 PM, November 27th (Sunday)]

I just want to say that I'm thinking of you and hope your lawyer gets you the full custody with suoprvised visitation that your girls need.

I echo much of what has already been said. My blood started to boil just thinking of my girls, scared and alone on a long flight like that.

The upside:

Your girls stuck together. Your older one stepped up, and your young one WAS brave. Keep patting them on the back for that.

Their dad put them on a plane alone. That sucks. BUT they knew they could count on their Mum, and she came through. They will remember that far longer than the fear and uncertainty of the flight.

Keep your chin up.

I asked her about it and she told me -- brace yourselves, because I can hardly believe it myself -- "Daddy wouldn't let me bring it on the plane. He shares the inhaler he uses with me, and he told me he needed to keep it with him in Maui. I asked him, 'What if I have an attack on the airplane,' and he told me, 'You won't.' I was scared."

Speechless from rage. How dare anyone do that to a child?

The path forward is clear. I will pursue full legal custody beginning Monday.

Sending you luck and mojo! Your girls are lucky to have you.

I met with my attorney this afternoon. He is a generally non-emotional voice in my tribe of support; however, he was appalled. He's a father of two little girls and he kept saying, "I just can't imagine a father doing that."

My attorney said I have a very difficult choice ahead of me. He counseled me to sleep on it before deciding and consider the following:

- Suing for full custody will not make xWH behave better. He will continue to drive me mad with his behavior, I'll just be able to better protect my girls from it. In essence, he wanted to be clear that I shouldn't be fooled into thinking that suing for and winning full custody will NOT make the agitation of xWH's behavior go away. His behavior, and the frustration it causes, will continue.

- Suing for full custody is a proactive choice to eliminate any possibility of *ever* having a constructive coparenting relationship. Of course, that's probably never going to happen with xWH, but it's important to understand this is a consequence.

- Suing for full custody means putting on an emotional coat of armour that I may have never had to have before. My attorney said it is the most difficult, ruthless process I'll ever go through. And, given xWH's behavior and mental health, he is sure to make it a living hell.

- Suing for full custody usually means an onslaught of emotional warfare on my children from xWH. He will paint me as a monster to them and they may very well believe him, at least for a little while. He said I must be prepared for that.

- Suing for full custody will cost me *at least* $15K.

So, I have a lot on my mind this Monday evening.

Open to any and all additional thoughts and input, especially from someone who has gone through this process before.

[This message edited by I_Do_Exist at 8:12 PM, November 28th (Monday)]