This is the weekend that my wife was out of town 5 years ago where I started digging on her old phone because I didn't believe I had the REAL story. For 15 months, she had sworn up and down that it was ONLY phone calls & texts, that they had NEVER met up outside of the house (he was the contractor remodeling our master bath) and that there was NOTHING physical between them.
The digging (thank you Dr. Phone) revealed that she had been lying the entire time. They had met up. Multiple times. It had been physical.
D-day v2.0 was better than v1.0, though. There was no shouting. No anger. No outbursts. I just sat and listened-in silence-as she responded to my "confrontation". I had simply printed out the recovered text strings and laid them on her pillow for her to see when she had gotten home. I never said a word.
Over the years, this "segment" has gotten easier. I had hopes that it would merely "come and go" this year. Those were dashed on Friday night.
As some of you know, AP is part of the same Tae Kwon Do center where my youngest studies. Typically, he takes the classes at our gym (AP is never there) and does his sparring on Thursday nights (AP is not at the center on Thursdays).
But, because I had a speaking engagement on Thursday evening and Mrs. Cap had a migraine that day, we had to do the Friday sparring.
I expected that AP would be there. Not the worst thing in the world, since he is often at the belt testing as one of the judges. I am able to sit in the back of the gym, focus on my youngest, and generally not be bothered.
But last night was just one reminder after another. AP was assigned to work with the group my youngest was in. I had to watch the interaction all evening. At one point in the sparring, my little guy brought over what I thought was his belt that had come off to have me hold onto it. Turns out, he has picked up another kid's belt (who was looking for it at night's end). AP actually had to come up to me and point out that I was holding the kid's belt.
As I pointed out on Dorothy's post regarding physical violence, had this been 5 years ago, I couldn't have been in that room, let alone carrying. Yesterday, however, was a 180° different story. I didn't get upset (internally or externally). I merely looked up, looked him in the eye when I was addressed, told the kid "Oh, sorry dude" handed him his belt, and went back to what I had been doing.
In that brief moment, I could see how uncomfortable he was having to speak to me. That was a warm fuzzy.
But still, I had hoped to not have things quite so front and center. Obviously, it is on my mind moreso than I had hoped, otherwise I wouldn't be posting about it.
But, for those who are fairly new in this game, I wanted to pass along hope. Hope that the sting does dull over time. Hope that you can bump into the AP without a visceral response. Hope is available.