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Divorce/Separation :
Fireworks Show Grand Finale: Part Deux

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 WhoTheBleep (original poster member #49504) posted at 1:57 AM on Thursday, June 23rd, 2022

Here is the link to my first thread:

https://www.survivinginfidelity.com/topics/653894/fireworks-show-grand-finale/?ap=121

It's been over 8 months since I posted any updates on my divorce. I was in the thick of trial late last year. I still am. We haven't had a court date in over 7 months, as the courts here are very backed up, among other reasons. My side is done, but STBX is attorney keeps "needing" more time in front of the judge.

I largely stepped away from SI during these last months, as my mental health took a frightening turn. My anxiety escalated, and I began having panic attacks on almost a daily basis. At first I thought I was seriously ill, and I went to every specialist physician I knew and had a complete work over, EKG's, blood work, chest x-rays, ENT scope, etc. Turns out I am in perfect physical health... My brain had just reached its limit for stress. My IC advised me it was time to speak to my primary doctor. I'm happy to say I am under her care, and I feel like myself again. Sometimes meditation, exercise, and holistic remedies are not enough. Get help if you need it, everyone!

So a quick, but major, update. I recently found out that STBX sold a major asset which is in litigation in our divorce. He did this in the midst of a trial regarding THIS VERY ASSET and before the judge has had a chance to rule. Final court date is set, but has not occurred yet. My lawyer petitioned for a hearing which will occur in a few days, to protect the proceeds (which between you and me, I know he's already made disappear), and demanded discovery regarding the sale, and an injunction to prevent him from selling other assets. Yesterday, I get a call from my lawyer; STBX's attorney (FINALLY) filed a motion to withdraw as STBX's counsel due to "ethical issues" and irreconcilable differences. Make no mistake, his attorney is a slime ball; but it appears even he has reached his limit with STBX. I suspect he knows there is no way he can defend STBX's actions, which essentially are big double barrel middle fingers to the court. The only thing I can hope is that our judge does not grant yet another continuance, as STBX will be unrepresented with a trial date looming. STBX did this to himself, and he needs to eat it, Even if he has to go pro se.

I'll keep you posted. Both of these matters will be heard at the upcoming hearing. It's going to be a bad bad day in court for STBX.

I believe we have two lives: the one we learn with, and the one we live with after that. --The Natural

posts: 4405   ·   registered: Sep. 6th, 2015   ·   location: USA
id 8741474
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Shehawk ( member #68741) posted at 3:27 AM on Thursday, June 23rd, 2022

Sending virtual hugs and positive thoughts.

posts: 956   ·   registered: Nov. 5th, 2018   ·   location: VA
id 8741496
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devotedman ( member #45441) posted at 4:14 AM on Thursday, June 23rd, 2022

Who the Leeper, hello! Good to see you again. Glad to hear that you're doing better.

Good luck in court. Guys like that... I'm disgusted. That's just poor character.

Me: 2xBS b 1962 xWW after 2 decades, xWGF after almost 1.
Amelia Pond: Who are you?
The Doctor: I don't know yet. I'm still cooking.
ENFP-A. Huh.

posts: 5138   ·   registered: Oct. 30th, 2014   ·   location: Central USA
id 8741501
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BearlyBreathing ( member #55075) posted at 5:19 AM on Thursday, June 23rd, 2022

Glad you are focusing on you. And hope your lawyer And the courts clean this mess up soon for you.

Me: BS 55 (49 on d-day)Him: WH. 64. D-Day 8/15/2016 LTA. Kinda liking my new life :-)

**horrible typist, lots of edits to correct. :-/ **

posts: 4876   ·   registered: Sep. 10th, 2016   ·   location: Northern CA
id 8741506
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Bigger ( Attaché #8354) posted at 10:53 AM on Thursday, June 23rd, 2022

Major asset as in boat, house or company usually has a clause regarding legality. If the asset is listed in a court-case then the sale could be illegal. Like if I sold someone a house that was marital property without my wife’s consent and the house was listed as an asset in a divorce that deal would could be declared illegal, the asset once again be returned to the original owner and the purchaser be entitled to a repayment or could sue the seller. I would have your attorney look into that ASAP because something tells me your husband would rather have half of what he sold it for rather than have to repay and possibly face prison for embezzlement.

"If, therefore, any be unhappy, let him remember that he is unhappy by reason of himself alone." Epictetus

posts: 10815   ·   registered: Sep. 29th, 2005
id 8741512
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 WhoTheBleep (original poster member #49504) posted at 11:42 AM on Thursday, June 23rd, 2022

Thanks, shehawk, devotedman, BB, and. Bigger. It's good to be back (well not really, but you know what I mean, haha).

Bigger, it is indeed a large asset like that. Whether or not the asset is marital is what has been in litigation the past 4 years. He's claiming it is not. I am claiming it is. The judge has yet to rule, and he sold it. He reported the sale to no one. I found out through the grapevine in my community. An online search confirmed the rumor. STBX has never put money into a savings account in his life, so I'm sure the money is split up and "gone" into his various investments and likely mystery "debts." I'll find out soon enough, and things will likely go from bad to worse for him. I can't imagine the judge will take kindly to being completely disregarded in this whole equation. As far as the sale being illegal, I'm not a lawyer, but I can't find anything on the books in my state that says it is; although perhaps that is the ethical issue that has caused his lawyer to quit. We have several other assets that I can be awarded in order to be compensated in the event he has dissipated this one.

Even if this results in another delay, I will remain at peace and believe that this is all happening as it should, and that I will ultimately prevail. I'll just continue to be patient, and as a good friend said a while back, keep giving STBX just enough rope to hang himself with. He never disappoints.

I believe we have two lives: the one we learn with, and the one we live with after that. --The Natural

posts: 4405   ·   registered: Sep. 6th, 2015   ·   location: USA
id 8741517
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little turtle ( member #15584) posted at 5:20 PM on Thursday, June 23rd, 2022

Bleep,
Thanks for the update. You've been on my mind. Glad to hear/read things are progressing and you're doing well.

I love this-

Even if this results in another delay, I will remain at peace and believe that this is all happening as it should, and that I will ultimately prevail. I'll just continue to be patient, and as a good friend said a while back, keep giving STBX just enough rope to hang himself with. He never disappoints.

Can't wait to read about how the judge reacts to hearing this news!!! so crazy and STBX thought he could get away with this. duh

Failure is success if we learn from it.

posts: 5496   ·   registered: Aug. 1st, 2007   ·   location: michigan
id 8741550
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ArkLaMiss ( member #14918) posted at 7:35 PM on Thursday, June 23rd, 2022

Any chance you can get an emergency hearing so that your attorney can file an injunction to further prevent him selling more assets?

Just HOW stupid do you think I am, exactly?

posts: 1740   ·   registered: Jun. 8th, 2007
id 8741571
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 WhoTheBleep (original poster member #49504) posted at 1:03 AM on Friday, June 24th, 2022

Thank you for your thoughts, Turtle. Nothing STBX does surprises me.

Ark, we did file for an emergency hearing, and it was denied. All that means was it wasn't heard within 24 hours. We do have a hearing set for next week ref not selling more assets, preventing dissipation of the recent proceeds, and the judge will either grant or deny his lawyer's request to withdraw. It will be a big day, and none of it good for STBX, especially if he has already dissipated the proceeds (it is a significant amount of money, well into six figures). Like I said, I know him; there is no way he has that much money sitting in a savings account. There's no doubt in my mind he has already moved it somewhere.

I'm so anxious, in a good way. I could barely sleep last night. I feel like this whole hearing will be a big reveal of STBX's true nature, to the judge. When your own attorney calls you a liar (that's what "ethical issues" means) and does not want to be associated with you...

[This message edited by WhoTheBleep at 1:05 AM, Friday, June 24th]

I believe we have two lives: the one we learn with, and the one we live with after that. --The Natural

posts: 4405   ·   registered: Sep. 6th, 2015   ·   location: USA
id 8741593
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barcher144 ( member #54935) posted at 5:06 PM on Tuesday, June 28th, 2022

Hey Bleep!! I have no comments about the legal stuff because it's all bat-shit crazy and the judge is going to have to sort it out. I'm thinking of you, though, and hoping for the best possible outcome for you!!

My brain had just reached its limit for stress

I think that you just described a huge fraction of mental health problems. Unfortunately, you can't learn your limits until you cross them. Ugh.

Definitely take care of yourself.

Me: BH, age 48Her: WS, age 45 (multiple EAs and PAs)D-Day: August 30, 2016

Diagnosed with depression in December 2016, which was primarily caused by my xWW's affair and associated emotional abuse.

posts: 5295   ·   registered: Aug. 31st, 2016
id 8742308
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barcher144 ( member #54935) posted at 5:06 PM on Tuesday, June 28th, 2022

Deleted a duplicate post. The Internet is not cooperating with me today. smile

[This message edited by barcher144 at 5:07 PM, Tuesday, June 28th]

Me: BH, age 48Her: WS, age 45 (multiple EAs and PAs)D-Day: August 30, 2016

Diagnosed with depression in December 2016, which was primarily caused by my xWW's affair and associated emotional abuse.

posts: 5295   ·   registered: Aug. 31st, 2016
id 8742309
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tushnurse ( member #21101) posted at 1:11 PM on Wednesday, June 29th, 2022

((((Bleep)))))

I've been wondering about you, and hoping you are holding up during this extended holding period.

I'm keeping my fingers crossed the Karma bus is pulling up at his house soon.

Stay strong, stay amazing.

Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 22 & 25
Married for 30 years now, was 16 at the time.
D-Day Sept 26 2008
R'd in about 2 years. Old Vet now.

posts: 19412   ·   registered: Oct. 1st, 2008   ·   location: St. Louis
id 8742488
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barcher144 ( member #54935) posted at 3:17 PM on Wednesday, June 29th, 2022

I'm keeping my fingers crossed the Karma bus is pulling up at his house soon.

I have got to think the judge is not going to like that he sold a disputed asset. However, as I learned during my sojourn through the legal system, I am only about 70% accurate in predicting how judges are going to rule.

Extrapolating from my legal experiences, I think that judges start off "not knowing who is lying" but they eventually figure it out and rule accordingly. I gotta think this is not going to go well for him.

But, again, as Yogi Berra once said: It's hard to make predictions, especially about the future.

Me: BH, age 48Her: WS, age 45 (multiple EAs and PAs)D-Day: August 30, 2016

Diagnosed with depression in December 2016, which was primarily caused by my xWW's affair and associated emotional abuse.

posts: 5295   ·   registered: Aug. 31st, 2016
id 8742511
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 WhoTheBleep (original poster member #49504) posted at 8:59 PM on Wednesday, June 29th, 2022

Tush, thanks for the hugs.

Barcher, I agree, even if we have a good day in court, it is no sure fire way to know what the future will bring.

I don't want to go into too much detail, but the hearing went well for me. Not so much for STBX. He is in a tough position now, without representation, and there is no continuance (for now). My lawyer feels that based on what STBX's (former) attorney said at the hearing, that the judge now has an idea of who STBX is, and that we are in a stronger position.

The sale of the asset requires a different type of hearing, so is postponed until trial date. I anticipate that won't go well for STBX, either. No one I know in real life can believe he did what he did. I have friends who are attorneys and all stated that was a HUGE misstep on his part.

I have some time off in a couple of weeks, and I am taking myself on a trip out of town, solo. I'm going to walk and walk and walk and walk (My favorite activity), and explore a place I've never been. Just breathing over here. I mentioned I'm under my doctor's care, but even with her help (anti-anxiety meds), I can feel the depression wanting to seep through the cracks. It's constant, and I'm tired. A friend of mine got engaged (2nd marriage) and announced it today. Even though I have no desire to marry again, and I am happy for her, I'm feeling...ugh. It's the depression, I know. Looking forward to my vacation. smile

[This message edited by WhoTheBleep at 10:28 PM, Wednesday, June 29th]

I believe we have two lives: the one we learn with, and the one we live with after that. --The Natural

posts: 4405   ·   registered: Sep. 6th, 2015   ·   location: USA
id 8742579
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leafields ( member #63517) posted at 4:42 AM on Thursday, June 30th, 2022

That sounds like a great get-away, Bleep. I hope you have a great time and have an opportunity to let your hair down.

Can your doctor put you on depression meds for awhile? Maybe just to help you get through the D?

So sorry your WH is putting you through this.

BW M 34years, Dday 1: March 2018, Dday 2: August 2019, D final 2/25/21

posts: 1233   ·   registered: Apr. 21st, 2018   ·   location: Washington State
id 8742636
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barcher144 ( member #54935) posted at 3:41 PM on Friday, July 1st, 2022

No one I know in real life can believe he did what he did.

Taken out of context, the above quote pretty well sums up this entire website. laugh laugh laugh laugh barf barf barf barf

I have some time off in a couple of weeks, and I am taking myself on a trip out of town, solo. I'm going to walk and walk and walk and walk (My favorite activity), and explore a place I've never been.

This is a fantastic idea.

I'm sorry that you are struggling. My guess is that you probably can't start truly start to get better until after all of this legal shit is over. That was definitely the case for me. Just get through it... and then put that asshole WH of yours in the rearview mirror!!

Me: BH, age 48Her: WS, age 45 (multiple EAs and PAs)D-Day: August 30, 2016

Diagnosed with depression in December 2016, which was primarily caused by my xWW's affair and associated emotional abuse.

posts: 5295   ·   registered: Aug. 31st, 2016
id 8742999
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Makesmewannapuke ( member #62580) posted at 5:07 PM on Friday, July 15th, 2022

Hi Bleep! I haven't been on the site in quite some time but as I was logging in, I was thinking about you and wondering how you were doing. I have always enjoyed your posts and thoughtful responses and admired your strength in the face of an exceptional shit show.

So glad to find your post so quickly but sorry to read things are draaaagggggging on. You sound like you are doing great in spite of it all!

No matter how strong any of us are, there are always times when things get extra heavy. I'm so sorry to hear you struggled with anxiety and panic attacks but so happy to know you got help, powered through and you're back to feeling good!

Wishing you all the best in court and hopefully this whole thing can be finalized VERY SOON.

posts: 145   ·   registered: Feb. 5th, 2018   ·   location: KS
id 8744909
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 WhoTheBleep (original poster member #49504) posted at 5:03 PM on Saturday, July 16th, 2022

Mmwp, thank you for your support😊. Barcher, as always, thank you, too. Lea, thanks, and I'm going to try to avoid antidepressants. There's been such a vast improvement with the anxiety meds, I'm going to see how this goes for a while.

I came back from my vacation last night, and brought a nasty cold with me, and a powerful case of jet lag. That said, it was one of the best weeks of my entire life. I visited a country I've never been to, solo. It was incredibly liberating and empowering. I must have looked like I knew what I was doing, because a family from yet another country, lost their way and asked me for directions. There was a language barrier, so I helped them with hand signals. They were very grateful, and I can't tell you how good it made me feel!! I ate incredible food, met wonderful people (including another solo traveler from Vancouver, Canada. We became fast friends and will keep in touch.)

I'm taking it easy for a couple of days, back to work on Monday. Next court date, late August. STBX has hired his third attorney. Onward!

[This message edited by WhoTheBleep at 5:13 PM, Saturday, July 16th]

I believe we have two lives: the one we learn with, and the one we live with after that. --The Natural

posts: 4405   ·   registered: Sep. 6th, 2015   ·   location: USA
id 8745032
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MIgander ( member #71285) posted at 5:45 PM on Saturday, July 16th, 2022

Don't post in D/S often, but I've been following your threads WTB.

Good luck on your WH keeping this attorney. He must be scraping the bottom of the barrel by now. I can't imagine any well-booked, competent and experienced attorney wanting to sign up for his bullshit. Plus, it's a pretty connected community, from what I see with my sis-in-law at least... maybe details aren't discussed, but I know the "flavor" of clients is.

Anyway, I wish you a good outcome and patience in the whole matter. It sounds like his karma bus is coming, but it's as slow as a bulldozer... hopefully as big and heavy a one too!

WW/BW Dday July 2019. BH/WH- multiple EA's. Back at it again- bantering w the younger woman. Lied about blocking phone calls and deleted texts. Carried on with her.

Nothing changes if nothing changes.

posts: 773   ·   registered: Aug. 15th, 2019   ·   location: Michigan
id 8745037
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