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Newest Member: Papi

Off Topic :
Let's talk grandparenting!

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 number4 (original poster member #62204) posted at 11:11 PM on Monday, April 11th, 2022

I know many of us here are newly recent grandparents, and some of us are inching closely to that milestone. I'd love to be in communication with others who are in this stage of their lives.

So let's open this up with, how old are your grandchildren if you have any, or when (approximately) are your grandchildren due?

And can I quickly add, damn, pregnancy and childbirth have changed so much since I had mine, but I guess that's a good thing as it improves outcomes.

I'll start... D1 due in ten weeks. Our first!

Me: BW
Him: WH
Married - 30+ years
Two adult daughters
1st affair: 2005-2007
2nd-4th affairs: 2016-2017
Many assessments/polygraph: no sex addiction
Status: R

posts: 1032   ·   registered: Jan. 10th, 2018   ·   location: Southern California
id 8729262
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hcsv ( member #51813) posted at 11:30 PM on Monday, April 11th, 2022

Granddaughter is 16 months old. Ive only seen her a few times but my son sends me pictures and videos daily. We also facebook often.
She is such a character and so beautiful. I love making her things. I made her a teddy bear from an old quilt my mom made my grandmother. So, the quilt belonged to baby's great great grandmother, made by her great grandmother. Then her grandmother used the quilt to make her the teddy bear.

After 40 years, ex turned into someone I didnt know and couldnt trust anymore. Divorced. 1/17

posts: 717   ·   registered: Feb. 14th, 2016
id 8729267
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leafields ( member #63517) posted at 1:23 AM on Tuesday, April 12th, 2022

Congratulations on your pending new arrival!

I have 2 grandsons. The older one is 10, and his little brother is 3. They are a joy. I am blessed and live across the street from them. It helps when they need a babysitter & I can just hop over.

The 10-year-old will start Little League games soon, so I'll help watch the younger one during the games to help my DIL out. Spring is here, even if the weather isn't cooperating.

BW M 34years, Dday 1: March 2018, Dday 2: August 2019, D final 2/25/21

posts: 1255   ·   registered: Apr. 21st, 2018   ·   location: Washington State
id 8729288
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Lionne ( member #25560) posted at 1:43 AM on Tuesday, April 12th, 2022

Our beautiful baby is 6 mos old. She rolls over, sits up for long periods before faceplanting, insists on what she wants when she wants it, but is really good natured and easily soothed. We live less than 2 miles away, my son's schedule is never regular and his wife is able to work only 3 days a week. We are retired and available at the drop of a hat. It's so much fun. I hate not seeing her all the time but don't want to be up their butt. They appreciate the help and our love of her.
Everyday brings a new developmental change. I'm afraid I recently taught her to stick out her tongue and blow spit bubbles :).
Things have changed a lot since my kids were babies, so I ask a lot of questions and follow directions.
My daughter in law has the kind of family I wanted, big and boisterous and supremely kind and loving. Consequently, there are many get togethers with them, complete with a bunch of cousins. We won't have that on my side and DS1's kids won't grow up with DS2's kids due to the distance apart. They will have a relationship, thanks to technology, but it isn't the same.
In the meantime, I am also fretting about not being physically close to DS2's babies and am currently scheming about buying a condo there and one here, selling the house, or renting an Airbnb on a regular basis.
I'll figure it out. The joy of watching your child become a loving and devoted parent is golden.
I'm so happy for you!

Me-BS-65 in May<BR />HIM-SAFWH-68<BR />I just wanted a normal life.<BR />Normal trauma would have been appreciated.

posts: 8488   ·   registered: Sep. 18th, 2009   ·   location: In my head
id 8729295
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WTAF ( member #79274) posted at 5:38 PM on Tuesday, April 12th, 2022

My son and DIL are about 3 months away from welcoming their baby girl. We are so excited! I am retiring and will take care of my granddaughter when DIL returns to work.

She will actually be our second grandbaby. My oldest son and his gf at the time had a loss several years ago. Our first granddaughter is always in our hearts.

posts: 118   ·   registered: Aug. 13th, 2021   ·   location: All up in my feelings
id 8729394
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 number4 (original poster member #62204) posted at 11:09 PM on Tuesday, April 12th, 2022

OK, how about 'things' that are a 'thing' now, but we never heard of when we were pregnant with our children.

1. expectant parents informing loved ones they must get a tDap vaccine before being allowed around the baby in early months (I don't remember having to tell anyone about this when I was pregnant).
2. for full-term women - curb walking... just like it sounds. Supposed to get the baby's head situated deep into the pelvis to help jump start labor.
3. bouncing on an exercise ball.. again, get that baby's head down in position to hopefully help that cervix start to open up.

Anyone following The Bump website? I love it; it gives you a week-by-week update of what's going on with the baby in utero, and what's going on with the mom.

Me: BW
Him: WH
Married - 30+ years
Two adult daughters
1st affair: 2005-2007
2nd-4th affairs: 2016-2017
Many assessments/polygraph: no sex addiction
Status: R

posts: 1032   ·   registered: Jan. 10th, 2018   ·   location: Southern California
id 8729460
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Lionne ( member #25560) posted at 11:31 PM on Tuesday, April 12th, 2022

TDap, yep. I had a child in first grade whose infant sister contracted whooping cough from a great grandparent vaccinated many years before.
My son is a nurse, he was able to stay with his wife and baby in the hospital. She had a tough time and ultimately a C-section with severe reaction to pain medicine. In our area, at least, nurseries are gone. Baby stays with mom 24/7 even with a C-section. DS was told to wear his scrubs so no one would question him. He was exhausted when he came home. I went over just to care for the baby while mom and dad slept on several days till they caught up on sleep.
My son said "I never wanted to see my mom more than I did while in the hospital."
We are very lucky to be able to babysit without much notice.

Me-BS-65 in May<BR />HIM-SAFWH-68<BR />I just wanted a normal life.<BR />Normal trauma would have been appreciated.

posts: 8488   ·   registered: Sep. 18th, 2009   ·   location: In my head
id 8729462
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 number4 (original poster member #62204) posted at 9:29 PM on Friday, April 15th, 2022

OK, it was bound to happen...

I've been doing a lot of baby clothes shopping - picking out clothes we could never afford when our kids were little. I've been shopping on several different websites, buying different sizes. A friend of ours who had a baby a month ago, posted a picture of him in a onesie with a print I really liked, and had seen before. I texted her that I almost bought that print for my daughter, and she replied that I definitely should. So I ordered it, along with a couple of other items that were in their 'trunk sale', so got a good deal.

Then when I saw the email from the company, it looked familiar. I scrolled down further in my emails and saw I had one from three weeks ago, where I'd already ordered this same print in a onesie, and D had received it last week. Geez!

Me: BW
Him: WH
Married - 30+ years
Two adult daughters
1st affair: 2005-2007
2nd-4th affairs: 2016-2017
Many assessments/polygraph: no sex addiction
Status: R

posts: 1032   ·   registered: Jan. 10th, 2018   ·   location: Southern California
id 8730008
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 number4 (original poster member #62204) posted at 9:42 PM on Friday, April 15th, 2022

TDap, yep

I can't remember if I told the story of my TDap experience. Last fall, I sliced my finger open on a food processor blade - seven stitches. When I was at the urgent care, they said since I didn't remember when I'd last had a tetanus shot, they would give me one, which they did.

About six weeks ago, I was in my doctor's office and told them I needed the diphtheria and pertussis vaccine. The nurse told me that when I was at the urgent care for my finger injury, they probably gave those to me in the same shot at the tetanus. I didn't remember them telling me that, so she said she would call them. When she did, they told her they had no record in my chart of administering ANY vaccine. And they asked her to ask me if I was sure I got a vaccine while there. UGH! Of course I remember getting a vaccine... my arm felt it the next day. So the urgent care was going to reach out to the PA who gave me the vaccine to see if she remembered what she gave me, because they do stock both the tetanus, and the TDap. My first reaction was, she's not going to remember which shot she gave to me five months earlier. Of course, they never reached back out to my doctor's office, or me (I had stopped by the urgent care to see if I could get any answers). So I just decided to get a blood titer for the pertussis. And it came back negative, that I had no antibodies. So I had to get the whole TDap, which included the tetanus, again, because no one offers just the pertussis/diptheria vaccine alone, without the tetanus.

What a screw up on the urgent care's part. My doctor actually reached out directly to the owner of the urgent care since he knows him, and the owner was thoroughly embarrassed. He said he was going to check into it himself, to see what happened, but again, I never heard back. And no, I was not charged for the tetanus only vaccine while at the urgent care. If my doctor's office charges me for the TDap titer test, I'm going to tell the urgent care they need to reimburse me for it. I shouldn't have had to get it done in the first place.

Me: BW
Him: WH
Married - 30+ years
Two adult daughters
1st affair: 2005-2007
2nd-4th affairs: 2016-2017
Many assessments/polygraph: no sex addiction
Status: R

posts: 1032   ·   registered: Jan. 10th, 2018   ·   location: Southern California
id 8730010
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 number4 (original poster member #62204) posted at 9:47 PM on Saturday, April 16th, 2022

OK, I'm not really digging The Bump update this week. Today's - 31 weeks - says the baby is as big as asparagus, but says it's 16.1" long, and 3.31 lbs.

WHO has bought asparagus that is 16.1" long and weighs 3.31 lbs.???

Sounds like some sort of genetically modified vegetable.

Me: BW
Him: WH
Married - 30+ years
Two adult daughters
1st affair: 2005-2007
2nd-4th affairs: 2016-2017
Many assessments/polygraph: no sex addiction
Status: R

posts: 1032   ·   registered: Jan. 10th, 2018   ·   location: Southern California
id 8730132
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WTAF ( member #79274) posted at 10:14 PM on Saturday, April 16th, 2022

That's definitely not an asparagus I would purchase. Lol

posts: 118   ·   registered: Aug. 13th, 2021   ·   location: All up in my feelings
id 8730137
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Lionne ( member #25560) posted at 1:50 AM on Sunday, April 17th, 2022

My daughter in law had a minor meltdown this week because the baby is growing out of all those beautiful outfits that were purchased by loving friends and family. My son suggested it was time for a "fresh one." laugh
One of the most beautiful things that is happening here is the development of a little family. Mom, Dad and Baby are a unit that is very special and very sweet.
Both DS and DIL had their share of hardships, both dealt with unrecognized mental illness and addiction issues. They met in a 12 step program. Neither thought they'd ever be here, whole and healthy, with a beautiful little girl to love on. It makes me cry happy tears.

Me-BS-65 in May<BR />HIM-SAFWH-68<BR />I just wanted a normal life.<BR />Normal trauma would have been appreciated.

posts: 8488   ·   registered: Sep. 18th, 2009   ·   location: In my head
id 8730163
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 number4 (original poster member #62204) posted at 2:50 AM on Sunday, April 17th, 2022

One of the most beautiful things that is happening here is the development of a little family.

I think that's wonderful, and what you can only hope for.

I am feeling a little bit of a conflict. D lives 3000 miles away. She says she wants me there for 2-3 weeks right away. I've shared with her and her H several times that I think they need to bond as a family in the first week (as much as I'm going to want to see that baby right away), then I can come. But she says she wants me there asap. They have polled their friends who have recently had babies, and they're all saying, if you get along with your mom, then have her come immediately. Their house is plenty big that we can all have our space. H will come with me and work from her house... she has two offices, one which is hers, and she won't be using; so H will have his own workspace.

Of course, if something happens and she ends up with a c-section, I will go right away; they'll need that help. But a non-complicated birth? I feel conflicted.

Me: BW
Him: WH
Married - 30+ years
Two adult daughters
1st affair: 2005-2007
2nd-4th affairs: 2016-2017
Many assessments/polygraph: no sex addiction
Status: R

posts: 1032   ·   registered: Jan. 10th, 2018   ·   location: Southern California
id 8730165
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Lionne ( member #25560) posted at 8:59 PM on Sunday, April 17th, 2022

Go. Busy yourself with laundry, meals, support stuff. We cleaned my son's house while they were in the hospital, they had only recently had major repairs done and hadn't yet recovered.
Let her know you are there for that stuff and just move aside when things are going well and the family is bonding.
I mentioned that my dil had a hard delivery. We are 2 miles away and, at first, were there a lot, or someone from her family was there. They thoroughly appreciated the help.
Sounds like your daughter will, too.

Me-BS-65 in May<BR />HIM-SAFWH-68<BR />I just wanted a normal life.<BR />Normal trauma would have been appreciated.

posts: 8488   ·   registered: Sep. 18th, 2009   ·   location: In my head
id 8730252
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 number4 (original poster member #62204) posted at 1:52 AM on Monday, April 18th, 2022

Go. Busy yourself with laundry, meals, support stuff.

That is exactly my plan if I go early (I guess even if don't go immediately, too). And here goes the whiny part on my behalf. D has celiac, and her H has bad dairy sensitivities, so meals will be challenging. I will, though, at the drop of a hat, go grocery shopping, order take out and pick it up, etc. My D intends to breastfeed (Yay!), and I remember how effing hungry I was in those early weeks all of the time when I was breastfeeding. It was wonderful - I could eat pretty much whatever I wanted (within reason), and the pregnancy weight just kept coming off! I should encourage them both to create a list of things they could eat in a pinch, and I'll make it my job to make sure the pantry is always filled with that stuff.

Me: BW
Him: WH
Married - 30+ years
Two adult daughters
1st affair: 2005-2007
2nd-4th affairs: 2016-2017
Many assessments/polygraph: no sex addiction
Status: R

posts: 1032   ·   registered: Jan. 10th, 2018   ·   location: Southern California
id 8730282
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Lionne ( member #25560) posted at 5:02 AM on Saturday, April 23rd, 2022

We just got news that our second son and his wife are expecting a baby in December! So happy!
Now I have to figure out how to go visit them 8.5 hours away, on a regular basis!

Me-BS-65 in May<BR />HIM-SAFWH-68<BR />I just wanted a normal life.<BR />Normal trauma would have been appreciated.

posts: 8488   ·   registered: Sep. 18th, 2009   ·   location: In my head
id 8731390
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 number4 (original poster member #62204) posted at 9:02 PM on Saturday, April 23rd, 2022

Aww, congratulations! You'll figure all the traveling out. And there's always FaceTime, etc. to watch them grow every week.

We are in TX at a memorial service, and at the luncheon afterwards, we were sitting at a table with about 10 other people and up popped a text from D. They decided to do an elective 3D ultrasound today, and surprised us with pictures! I was sooooooo excited - we didn't know they were doing it today. It just made my whole day.

Me: BW
Him: WH
Married - 30+ years
Two adult daughters
1st affair: 2005-2007
2nd-4th affairs: 2016-2017
Many assessments/polygraph: no sex addiction
Status: R

posts: 1032   ·   registered: Jan. 10th, 2018   ·   location: Southern California
id 8731497
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annb ( member #22386) posted at 9:43 PM on Sunday, April 24th, 2022

My first grandchild was born in October. grin She is 1200 miles away. sad

We visited when she was 6-7 weeks old, and I just got back from an 8-day stay taking care of her, her two older half siblings, and their pets. DS and wife went on a cruise. Loved every minute feeding her, changing her, and watching her personality shine. Read books to her, took daily walks, and just doted on her. All of us went to the mall, out to eat, and out for ice cream one night.

Got home on Wednesday, today is the first day I actually feel normal. laugh Barely slept while I was there, haven't taken care of small children in two decades! I was completely exhausted!

The entire family is meeting in Disney in a few weeks, I spent a small fortune on clothing and everything else she needs for this vacation. grin

We are building a retirement home about two hours away from my son/grandaughter, won't be ready for about six months, but thankfully we will be close enough to visit on weekends or to bring her to our home for a few days.

[This message edited by annb at 9:44 PM, Sunday, April 24th]

posts: 11574   ·   registered: Jan. 10th, 2009   ·   location: Northeast
id 8731699
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Lionne ( member #25560) posted at 9:59 PM on Wednesday, April 27th, 2022

We just got news that our second son and his wife are expecting a baby in December!

Sigh. Spoke too soon. She miscarried.
She's ok, d&c scheduled for tomorrow. It's certainly not easy to deal with, but they are doing okay

Me-BS-65 in May<BR />HIM-SAFWH-68<BR />I just wanted a normal life.<BR />Normal trauma would have been appreciated.

posts: 8488   ·   registered: Sep. 18th, 2009   ·   location: In my head
id 8732358
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 number4 (original poster member #62204) posted at 12:37 AM on Thursday, April 28th, 2022

Oh, no... I'm SO sorry. It is a heartbreaking experience. Had it happen between my two kids. No heartbeat detected at 14 and 15 weeks, so had a D&C.

Me: BW
Him: WH
Married - 30+ years
Two adult daughters
1st affair: 2005-2007
2nd-4th affairs: 2016-2017
Many assessments/polygraph: no sex addiction
Status: R

posts: 1032   ·   registered: Jan. 10th, 2018   ·   location: Southern California
id 8732383
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