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Newest Member: Papi

New Beginnings :
Update from Southern Colorado

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BearlyBreathing ( member #55075) posted at 1:17 AM on Sunday, May 15th, 2022

Congratulations!!

Me: BS 55 (49 on d-day)Him: WH. 64. D-Day 8/15/2016 LTA. Kinda liking my new life :-)

**horrible typist, lots of edits to correct. :-/ **

posts: 4893   ·   registered: Sep. 10th, 2016   ·   location: Northern CA
id 8735372
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tooanalytical ( member #22306) posted at 1:43 AM on Sunday, May 15th, 2022

Thanks Countrydirt!

I don't post as much anymore but still troll the site. I'm not sure when I found your threads but wanted to thank you for sharing. I always walk away feeling uplifted after reading your update. It's similar to the feeling I get listening to "Living" by Dierks Bentley.

Me BH 44
FWW 44
Married 21 years
D-Day Apr 29, 2008
Children: 19,17,14
EA/PA - 1 year
Status: R

posts: 377   ·   registered: Jan. 5th, 2009
id 8735375
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 countrydirt (original poster member #55758) posted at 6:26 PM on Sunday, May 15th, 2022

thank you tooanalytical! I enjoy providing a little light into the darkest of times for many of us.

I had a nice little light shine on me this morning. As I mentioned, I participated in a triathlon yesterday and Teacher took nice care of me last night. But this morning, my legs felt a little tight, so I rode my bike 5 miles to coffee. I ended up visiting with a man who had an autoharp and guitar there (he plays every Sunday morning on the sidewalk outside of the coffee shop). One thing led to another and soon enough we were pickin and grinnin and plan on getting together to play some more next weekend.

Life is fun!

3 adult sonsMarried 32 years. DDay1 - June 2016, DDay 2 - April 2017, Final DDay - May 2020. Divorced - January 2021

posts: 415   ·   registered: Oct. 25th, 2016   ·   location: Colorado
id 8735442
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leafields ( member #63517) posted at 7:55 PM on Sunday, May 15th, 2022

Congratulations on completing the triathlon! Wish I could have heard your jam session. Sounds like fun.

BW M 34years, Dday 1: March 2018, Dday 2: August 2019, D final 2/25/21

posts: 1255   ·   registered: Apr. 21st, 2018   ·   location: Washington State
id 8735455
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 countrydirt (original poster member #55758) posted at 12:05 PM on Friday, May 20th, 2022

Moving into the last few weeks of my teaching career. I don't think its quite real yet and I'm not exactly counting down, but I'm starting to feel it. Some of my senior students gave me a gift card to a sporting goods store, so I'll finally have some water sandals! Ironically, I am dealing with a couple of parents behaving badly so I've got that going for me.

Teacher has been busy as well, so yesterday we just got together and had a quick dinner and visit and then returned to our own homes for some rest.

[This message edited by countrydirt at 12:06 PM, Friday, May 20th]

3 adult sonsMarried 32 years. DDay1 - June 2016, DDay 2 - April 2017, Final DDay - May 2020. Divorced - January 2021

posts: 415   ·   registered: Oct. 25th, 2016   ·   location: Colorado
id 8736138
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 countrydirt (original poster member #55758) posted at 9:12 PM on Wednesday, May 25th, 2022

Aggravating side step from my normal updates. The final piece of selling the family home a few months ago was an after the sale inspection and replacement of the septic system. The work ended up being more extensive than planned, so more money had to be spent. XW agreed to split the new cost with me - the original was paid out of the sale proceeds. I paid my half to the contractor right away and told him that if the XW didn't pay her share, I would make sure he got paid. Last weekend (about a month after I paid and the bill was due) the contractor called me and told me that the balance hadn't been paid, so I took care of it and am now trying to pry a couple thousand dollars out of the XW. I'm not holding my breath.

[This message edited by countrydirt at 9:13 PM, Wednesday, May 25th]

3 adult sonsMarried 32 years. DDay1 - June 2016, DDay 2 - April 2017, Final DDay - May 2020. Divorced - January 2021

posts: 415   ·   registered: Oct. 25th, 2016   ·   location: Colorado
id 8737072
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 countrydirt (original poster member #55758) posted at 2:20 AM on Tuesday, May 31st, 2022

Back to the positive!

Teacher and I had a great weekend and a last few weeks. Movies, graduations, music, dinners out and dinners in and a short road trip to a festival in a nearby town.

We're not sure what is going to happen with us, but dang it is fun. I've never had anyone treat me like she does and she points out that she doesn't really know how to accept someone being nice to her, but she is getting better at it - you know, opening a door, pulling out her chair, etc. The first time I tried to pull out her chair so she could sit down, she just moved over to the other side of the table and sat in the other chair laugh and then was embarrassed when I said something like, "I was just trying to pull out YOUR chair, has that never happened to you?" She has baggage from her life, just like I do, and we both are pretty protective of our hearts, but both are letting our guards down a bit. We've started making some plans for the summer with family on both sides. Hell, I'm retiring in about 20 days, so I'll be available.

A funny story aside. We both go on a big group bike ride every Thursday night. We might have anywhere from 50 to 150 riding most nights. This week, we had a stop just a few miles in and I grabbed my phone and took a selfie of us. I didn't send it to her until Friday morning. When she received the picture, she didn't have her readers on and wondered why in the hell I was sending her a pic of me and some other "woman"! The she put on her readers and realized it was her! laugh She told me later that she was annoyed by the way that "woman" was looking at me! laugh We ended up laughing a lot about it and she told the story to a bunch of our friends that night at a little retirement party for another friend. I guess we are sort of attached to each other now!

XW sent me most of the money she owes, so I think I'll just chalk it up and move on.

3 adult sonsMarried 32 years. DDay1 - June 2016, DDay 2 - April 2017, Final DDay - May 2020. Divorced - January 2021

posts: 415   ·   registered: Oct. 25th, 2016   ·   location: Colorado
id 8737859
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leafields ( member #63517) posted at 4:15 AM on Tuesday, May 31st, 2022

CD,

I love your updates! I may be partial because my niece and pseudo niece (her teacher friend I've known for years) are school teachers.

BW M 34years, Dday 1: March 2018, Dday 2: August 2019, D final 2/25/21

posts: 1255   ·   registered: Apr. 21st, 2018   ·   location: Washington State
id 8737865
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 countrydirt (original poster member #55758) posted at 10:13 PM on Saturday, June 4th, 2022

Well, my first day of retirement found me with a case of Covid! Worry not, it seems pretty mild. I've been vaccinated and boosted and already feeling better after 3 days of feeling like I had a head cold. Teacher reminded me over the phone that I had some home tests. Urgent care confirmed this morning. They don't think I need the anti-viral treatment, so I'll just eat soup and drink lots of water.

I got up this morning and went for a 20 minute walk. Teacher called me in the afternoon and told me she tested negative and cheered me up with a really nice conversation. She was heading out river rafting later and I think was rubbing that in a little.

3 adult sonsMarried 32 years. DDay1 - June 2016, DDay 2 - April 2017, Final DDay - May 2020. Divorced - January 2021

posts: 415   ·   registered: Oct. 25th, 2016   ·   location: Colorado
id 8738669
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 countrydirt (original poster member #55758) posted at 12:45 AM on Monday, June 6th, 2022

Symptoms are pretty much gone. Teacher and I have only talked on the phone and will for a few more days. I ended up going on a mountain bike ride today for about half an hour and felt pretty decent. Guess I'm happy I got vacced. Sort of funny, I've been living in a petri dish since this thing started and just now got the stuff and I know I've lived exposed for the past couple of years.

Now I'm prepping up for a memorial service for an uncle who passed last month. My aunt, his oldest sister, is conducting the service and then I'm kicking off the cowboy memories of this old time cowboy. Teacher may come along, but I'm not sure that a funeral trip is the most romantic way to reunite after Covid.

3 adult sonsMarried 32 years. DDay1 - June 2016, DDay 2 - April 2017, Final DDay - May 2020. Divorced - January 2021

posts: 415   ·   registered: Oct. 25th, 2016   ·   location: Colorado
id 8738797
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Dorothy123 ( member #53116) posted at 4:56 PM on Thursday, June 9th, 2022

good for you !

posts: 5221   ·   registered: May. 7th, 2016   ·   location: a place that hurts
id 8739354
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 countrydirt (original poster member #55758) posted at 7:04 PM on Sunday, June 12th, 2022

Teacher and I finally reunited after my short and mild bout with Covid. We followed all the protocols (which seem to change every time you read about it) and didn't spend time with each other for 10 days. Yesterday I returned from the funeral and stopped at her house just to say hi. We made plans to go to a concert in the evening and then I went home to clean up while she did the same.

During my new beginnings journey, I always try to listen and learn about ways I ought to behave. I have habits from 32 years of marriage and 58 years of life that might need to be amended. An example is how I might just reach over when we are driving somewhere and touch her hand or arm or knee for a few minutes. She occasionally will just say, "You can't do that" if perhaps I am rubbing her fingers in a ticklish sort of way but other times, she reaches over and does the touching. She mentioned that initially she didn't like me to just randomly touching her like that because it felt like I was trying to show her she was my "possession" but that was about 8 or 9 months ago.

In fact, the first time she and I spoke was almost a year and half ago when we were both at a music venue with other "dates" and just talked about teaching. I'm sort of hard of hearing and when in a crowded place with lots of background noise I have a hard time and when she said something, I had to lean way in and turn my "good ear" toward her and she actually put her hand on my shoulder and put her mouth right up to my ear so I could hear her.

So I filed that information away and make a real effort to "keep my hands to myself" for the most part. Last night, while we were at the concert - Tommy Emmanuel who was amazing by the way - I reached over and just gave her knee a little stroke for about 10 seconds. She leaned over and whispered in my ear, "I love when you touch me like that."

Females keep me pleasantly confused.

Oh and also by the way, getting together after 10 days apart and only having phone and text conversations, felt really good and we had a great time. Little Molly the dog was happy to see me as well.

3 adult sonsMarried 32 years. DDay1 - June 2016, DDay 2 - April 2017, Final DDay - May 2020. Divorced - January 2021

posts: 415   ·   registered: Oct. 25th, 2016   ·   location: Colorado
id 8739887
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 countrydirt (original poster member #55758) posted at 7:32 AM on Sunday, June 19th, 2022

We had a wonderful afternoon and evening. Our city had a Solstice lantern walk festival today along the Arkansas River (just ignore that the summer solstice isn't for a few days yet). The event went on all day starting at 8 a.m., but we didn't go down until about 5. I spent the morning playing music with a group of friends - old timey stuff and then went and looked at a house I might try to purchase soon. After I looked at the house, I called Teacher and told her about it and we talked for 15 or 20 minutes. We decided we wanted to head down and listen to the music at the festival and then do the lantern walk.

I headed over to her house and Molly greeted me. We looked at her flowers and a few other things and then headed to the festival. We heard 5 different groups play music and had a chance to visit with a few friends. I saw 4 former students (I guess I can call them former since I just retired and won't see them next year) and it was really nice. We walked a bit and talked a lot since we hadn't seen each other for a couple of days. She told me about running into a guy she dated a couple of times 4 or 5 years ago and how uncomfortable she was when he tried to walk with her and kept getting really close to her until she could figure out a way to extricate herself from the situation. I laughed and reminded her that the first few times that she and I walked and hiked, we pretty much kept 6 feet apart.

Now, we don't really engage in many public displays of affection even after seeing each other for a year. I mean, we do stand close to each other and may hold hands or she links her arm in mine, but that's about it. This evening, while listening to the music, she put her arm around me and reached up with her other arm and pulled my face down and gave me a big old kiss - in front of God and everybody, including several friends. The she patted me on the butt and smiled. So did I.

3 adult sonsMarried 32 years. DDay1 - June 2016, DDay 2 - April 2017, Final DDay - May 2020. Divorced - January 2021

posts: 415   ·   registered: Oct. 25th, 2016   ·   location: Colorado
id 8740884
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WhoTheBleep ( member #49504) posted at 2:28 AM on Thursday, June 23rd, 2022

Hey CD, I caught up on all of your updates, and I'm happy to see that things progress with you and Teacher. Very very cool. Keep the updates coming. A lot of us crave the lightness of positive new beginnings.

I believe we have two lives: the one we learn with, and the one we live with after that. --The Natural

posts: 4405   ·   registered: Sep. 6th, 2015   ·   location: USA
id 8741484
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 countrydirt (original poster member #55758) posted at 2:23 PM on Friday, June 24th, 2022

Summer mode for some teachers means staying up late and sleeping in late. I've got the staying up late part down, but 35 years of professional life means I still wake up way too early even if I'm now retired. But I'm having fun.

Teacher and I have had some really good times. Summer is so much fun with outdoor activities and music. Last night we watched the Nitty Gritty Dirt Band (bought those tickets when the concert was first announced) and were simply blown away. It was so much fun. We then ran into some friends and visited a while longer then called it an early evening at MIDNIGHT.

The change in life at this age has certainly been an adventure. I was a homeowner for many years, but the divorce changed that. I knew that I wasn't cut out for this townhome/condo renting and just happened to fall into a pretty inexpensive trailer house. Sure wasn't expecting to be starting over in a trailer at age 58, but I own that sucker free and clear and it will be saving me quite a bit of money over the next few years. My first house so many years ago was.a trailer so I kinda know what to do. My mind did take me to a place after I bought it that life just isn't fair because XW moved right in with her partner in a new house, but then I remembered that she has a 30 year mortgage and likely won't live long enough to be debt free and that made me feel better. And, the new home is 3 miles from the reservoir and the mountain bike trails, so that is a bonus as well.

Well, I'm packing and moving for part of the weekend, so may not have as much fun as I want, but Teacher is taking me to see her great niece in a professional theater production in Denver on Sunday and then we'll stay with her niece's (mom of the actress) family on Sunday evening.

I hope you all have a great weekend and take care of yourselves and have some fun! Be blessed!

3 adult sonsMarried 32 years. DDay1 - June 2016, DDay 2 - April 2017, Final DDay - May 2020. Divorced - January 2021

posts: 415   ·   registered: Oct. 25th, 2016   ·   location: Colorado
id 8741661
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WhoTheBleep ( member #49504) posted at 2:33 PM on Friday, June 24th, 2022

Sure wasn't expecting to be starting over in a trailer at age 58, but I own that sucker free and clear and it will be saving me quite a bit of money over the next few years.

I love this! And being close to the activities you love is priceless. Happy packing, CD!

I believe we have two lives: the one we learn with, and the one we live with after that. --The Natural

posts: 4405   ·   registered: Sep. 6th, 2015   ·   location: USA
id 8741675
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leafields ( member #63517) posted at 5:12 AM on Thursday, June 30th, 2022

My goal is to buy a used trailer outright and just have the lot rent. Trailers, or manufactured/modular homes are built very similar to regular homes for some time.

I enjoy reading your updates.

BW M 34years, Dday 1: March 2018, Dday 2: August 2019, D final 2/25/21

posts: 1255   ·   registered: Apr. 21st, 2018   ·   location: Washington State
id 8742639
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 countrydirt (original poster member #55758) posted at 3:01 PM on Sunday, July 3rd, 2022

My goal is to buy a used trailer outright and just have the lot rent. Trailers, or manufactured/modular homes are built very similar to regular homes for some time.

That's exactly what I did! I'm saving a lot of money each month now. My son loves it. In fact, he only told me yesterday how much he hated "apartment or townhome" living. Sharing a wall with a young family who's kids raced up and down the hall and stairs all night and all day long wasn't much fun. He and his cat are settling in quite nicely. Now, just to decide - towel hooks or towel bars and should I get out my sewing machine and make new curtains or just buy new ones. Ahh, the decisions of retirement life loom ahead.

Packing and moving has dominated my time this week, so Teacher and I have only talked on the phone. The whole ordeal put me in quite a foul mood, so I wouldn't have been very good company anyway. I spent quite a bit of time in contemplation and quite honestly anger at how I am starting completely over and how my ex just moved right in with her new partner into a new house and seemingly didn't skip a beat, but then my good sense kicked in and I realize that I have a small lot rent monthly and she and her partner are saddled with a 30 year mortgage on a grossly overpriced house and that helped improve my mood and is helping me let go of the anger.

Teacher and I are headed off of a 3 or 4 day weekend to see her family in the Denver metro area and planning out a few adventures. She's driving, so I get to be the passenger and just enjoy the ride and look at things I rarely get to see when I'm driving. We might even swing out and see my folks for a bit since they live up that way as well.

Have a blessed holiday weekend and may your adventures be fun!

[This message edited by countrydirt at 3:03 PM, Sunday, July 3rd]

3 adult sonsMarried 32 years. DDay1 - June 2016, DDay 2 - April 2017, Final DDay - May 2020. Divorced - January 2021

posts: 415   ·   registered: Oct. 25th, 2016   ·   location: Colorado
id 8743226
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 countrydirt (original poster member #55758) posted at 12:07 PM on Thursday, July 7th, 2022

The holiday weekend couldn't have gone better! Teacher came and picked me up and we started off on our journey north. We enjoyed fairly light traffic and Siri did a nice job of navigating us to a place we had never been before. We arrived early so cruised a farmer's market and had a nice cup of tea then back to the venue to watch her great niece in the lead.

Just as we walked into the lobby, I spied my brother over the top of the crowd. Never expected to see him and his wife there, but not a huge surprise since they live there. Anyway, greetings were shared all around and introductions made and pictures taken with the whole extended Teacher family and my brother's family as well.

The musical was fantastic! Her great niece was off course phenomenal and we could't have been prouder. After the show, we all said good bye to Brother and (getting nicer) Sister-in-law and then we joined the actress's parents and grandparents for dinner. After dinner, we headed to the actress's parents home for the evening. We stayed up really late visiting and then slept in and had a nice breakfast with them.

The 4th of July was spent with Teacher's sister and brother-in-law and another niece. We went to a festival and danced to a band that was playing and enjoyed people watching. Back at the house we grilled corn on the cob and burgers and had a very nice time together.

Now, on to the task of unpacking and actually decorating this trailer house. I've never decorated anything in my life. I'll be picking up my art from storage and seeing what fits as well as continue to pare down the belongings and get to a reasonable amount of stuff. Teacher came with me to a couple stores to help "advise" on picking out some curtains. I ended up taking what she suggested might look good back to the store later and getting some that more suits my style, whatever the heck that is.

My youngest son did tell me that he loves the trailer and it feels more like home than the condo we rented ever did.

3 adult sonsMarried 32 years. DDay1 - June 2016, DDay 2 - April 2017, Final DDay - May 2020. Divorced - January 2021

posts: 415   ·   registered: Oct. 25th, 2016   ·   location: Colorado
id 8743629
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Want2BHappyAgain ( member #45088) posted at 7:02 PM on Thursday, July 7th, 2022

This is an AWESOME post...I can't believe I haven't posted on here more soon!! Thanks so much for sharing your HAPPINESS with the rest of us grin !!! I've never been to Colorado...but I recently heard just how BEAUTIFUL it is smile .

A "perfect marriage" is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other.

With God ALL things are possible (Matthew 19:26)

I AM happy again...It CAN happen!!!

From respect comes great love...sassylee

posts: 6188   ·   registered: Oct. 2nd, 2014   ·   location: Southeastern United States
id 8743696
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