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New Beginnings :
Update from Southern Colorado

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 countrydirt (original poster member #55758) posted at 5:05 AM on Friday, December 31st, 2021

My parents had a gift for Teacher for Christmas that I brought home and had been forgetting on my kitchen counter for several days. This morning I needed to get out and do some stuff, so I grabbed the gift and headed out the door. I sent a quick text and said I needed to drop by for just a couple of minutes to deliver the gift. She almost demurred, but allowed me to stop by. She was looking absolutely adorable in her giant fluffy robe and I only stayed for a few minutes and headed off for my day and left her to her morning routine.

In the early evening she sent me a message and asked if I was doing anything. I said I wasn't and asked if she minded a visitor. She allowed that I could come by for a "bit" but warned me that she wasn't much cuter than she was this morning. I got there and thought she was stunning in a Vermont sort of flannel way.

She and I are both parents of sons. She absolutely adores my youngest (the only of my 3 she has met). Her oldest is about the same age as my second son. So, as parents of boys of a certain age, we both missed out on some Disney movies in the past 15-20 years. Tonight, we snuggled on her sofa and watched Frozen. Neither of us had seen it before so it was fun and well the snuggling...

Have I mentioned that she is a tiny little thing? She curled up in a little ball and pretty much snuggled in my lap for the couple of hours that movie lasted.

Oh, I mentioned in my previous post that we were going out with my best friend and her fiance last night. That went so well. We had a wonderful time of fellowship and laughter. She loved my bestie and her fiance and her sister and husband and the eccentric old artist that is part of the package. Bestie texted me early this morning and raved about how good we look together and how much they all enjoyed getting to meet her. We've both passed the "friend approval" phase.

3 adult sonsMarried 32 years. DDay1 - June 2016, DDay 2 - April 2017, Final DDay - May 2020. Divorced - January 2021

posts: 440   路   registered: Oct. 25th, 2016   路   location: Colorado
id 8706658
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ff4152 ( member #55404) posted at 7:58 PM on Friday, December 31st, 2021

CD

If there was ever a post that deserved a like button, this would be it!

Me -FWS

posts: 1984   路   registered: Sep. 30th, 2016
id 8706825
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WhoTheBleep ( member #49504) posted at 3:17 PM on Monday, January 3rd, 2022

Darn, I read this update on a metal chair in a doctor's office. I'm going home to reread it again on my couch 馃槀. I'll pick up a scone on my way home.

I believe we have two lives: the one we learn with, and the one we live with after that. --The Natural

posts: 4421   路   registered: Sep. 6th, 2015   路   location: USA
id 8707133
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 countrydirt (original poster member #55758) posted at 8:42 PM on Monday, January 3rd, 2022

I don't want to disappoint - I almost forgot about the New Year's Eve update!

Teacher gave me a call in the afternoon and asked if I had any plans. I said that I didn't but hoped she might have something in mind. She just happened to have been invited to small party and wondered if I might like to come along. After talking to strangers on my ski trip last week, I felt confident that I could mingle with another group of new folks.

I picked her up and she, of course, looked fantastic. Little dog barked and then went and stood by the dog treat cabinet and looked meaningfully into my eyes. So I obliged. I have a new friend.

We walked up to the house where the party was being held and I confided that I was a little nervous about not knowing anyone there, but as we walked in, the first people I saw were some parents of a former student who I've known for several years, so the ice was quickly broken and we ended up having a great time. Great food, much great conversation and laughter and overall, just really fun. And since it was a more mature party, no one really got out of control and it wasn't too loud. A mixture of firefighters, musicians, artists, business people and teachers had no trouble finding common ground. Being a bit of an older crowd, we rang in the New Year at 10:00 p.m. and Teacher and I shared our first New Year's Eve kiss. The party broke up fairly quickly after that and we all went our separate ways.

Teacher and I spent some time ringing in the New Year at her house and as I left, the snow was just beginning to fall to usher out 2021 and welcome in 2022 - this was our first real snow in southern Colorado since last winter, so is very welcome.

3 adult sonsMarried 32 years. DDay1 - June 2016, DDay 2 - April 2017, Final DDay - May 2020. Divorced - January 2021

posts: 440   路   registered: Oct. 25th, 2016   路   location: Colorado
id 8707178
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WhoTheBleep ( member #49504) posted at 2:42 PM on Thursday, January 6th, 2022

Being a bit of an older crowd, we rang in the New Year at 10:00 p.m.

Is this a Mountain Time tradition? My cousin lives in Arizona and celebrates at 10:00 p.m.. I love this option! I am on the east coast and have no choice but to wait till midnight. I rarely, if ever, last that long (even in bed under my covers which is where I usually am!).

Another great update. I'm so glad things are going well for you, CD.

I believe we have two lives: the one we learn with, and the one we live with after that. --The Natural

posts: 4421   路   registered: Sep. 6th, 2015   路   location: USA
id 8707916
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 countrydirt (original poster member #55758) posted at 6:05 PM on Thursday, January 6th, 2022

Is this a Mountain Time tradition?

I'm not sure if it a tradition, but the family had an east coast feed on their television, so we watched the ball drop at 10.

Normally I am like you, in bed and asleep well before midnight, but this is a year of new beginnings!

3 adult sonsMarried 32 years. DDay1 - June 2016, DDay 2 - April 2017, Final DDay - May 2020. Divorced - January 2021

posts: 440   路   registered: Oct. 25th, 2016   路   location: Colorado
id 8707971
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 countrydirt (original poster member #55758) posted at 1:38 PM on Saturday, January 8th, 2022

I seem to have acquired a cold right around New Year's Eve. New Year's Day I started feeling bad and ended up under the weather for a few days. My son had it as well and was sick for a few more days. Teacher was bragging that she seemed to have skipped it, but just about 3 days later, she came down with it. By the first Friday in January, however, we were both (as was my son) on the mend and felt good enough to get together. I took a Covid test on January 2 and it came back negative.

Earlier in the afternoon, I headed to our downtown Riverwalk and decided to just take a walk for some light exercise and was walking some fast laps on the 1 mile loop. Teacher met me with little Mollie and we ended up walking together for about 3 miles and having a nice chance to visit and enjoy a glorious 70 degree afternoon.
As we ended that little excursion, she said it would be nice if I came by her house later. A bit later, she texted and said new plans came up and wondered if I could join. So in the evening we met a small group of friends for some downtown shenanigans and food. Electric scooters and much laughter were involved.

Teacher and I ended up at a venue with some live music and enjoyed that for about an hour and both saw some other friends and colleagues. Ironically, one of my work colleagues turned out to have been Teacher's high school play director so they had a chance to get reacquainted.

At the end of the day, we concluded the evening at her house with a bit of snuggle on the couch that turned into a snooze since both of us were pretty tired from a week of work and the long walk and recovering from colds, so I headed to my house for a bit of sleep.

3 adult sonsMarried 32 years. DDay1 - June 2016, DDay 2 - April 2017, Final DDay - May 2020. Divorced - January 2021

posts: 440   路   registered: Oct. 25th, 2016   路   location: Colorado
id 8708495
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 countrydirt (original poster member #55758) posted at 7:47 AM on Sunday, January 9th, 2022

Teacher and I got together for coffee this morning. I guess I shouldn't say "got together". She texted me about 9:30 and asked "Coffee, tea or me?" I responded "YES!". So I went to her house and played with Molly while she finished a phone call with her son and then we headed off to a coffee shop and had breakfast and another really nice visit. It has been so nice to have another adult to talk to in a deeper way than you might talk with work friends.

While leaving the coffee shop we discussed what we had on our respective to do lists. She had a few things she needed to pick up at the store, so since we were out and about, we drove to the big box place and she picked up couple of items she wanted and we headed back out. We both mentally reviewed our lists and thought it would be best if we both got to work on our stuff and didn't spend the entire day together. We thought we might go to a movie later. I told her I would check out the movie times and let her know what was playing.

We ended up going to a 5:30 movie (The King's Man) and ended up laughing at most of it. Pretty funny flick. Normally (well, at least the last time we went to the movies) we would then go out and try and find some live music, but we just ended up going back to her house and playing with little Molly for a few minutes and well, since it was early, and we both feel pretty much over the cold, well, you know wink

She said, "I'm in shock. I don't recall having sex this good in my 20's". I agreed. In fact, I'm just pretty much blown away by the intensity of the intimacy. Shoot, I'm 58 and she turns 63 in two weeks. Who knew? If you're reading this and just starting out in your New Beginnings, have faith! There is an amazing world out there just waiting for you!!

3 adult sonsMarried 32 years. DDay1 - June 2016, DDay 2 - April 2017, Final DDay - May 2020. Divorced - January 2021

posts: 440   路   registered: Oct. 25th, 2016   路   location: Colorado
id 8708659
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TurnedTurtle ( member #65603) posted at 12:55 PM on Sunday, January 9th, 2022

If you're reading this and just starting out in your New Beginnings, have faith! There is an amazing world out there just waiting for you!!

Thanks countrydirt, you are my hero ;-)

"Secrets have a cost, they're not free, not now, not ever!"

posts: 178   路   registered: Jul. 27th, 2018
id 8708670
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 countrydirt (original poster member #55758) posted at 2:37 AM on Monday, January 10th, 2022

Sunday morning arrived way too early. I had volunteered earlier to help out our local trail builders do some trail maintenance on the hiking and biking trails at our reservoir, so I headed out before my morning cup of tea. It was cold and sort of breezy, but we hiked off with rakes and pitchforks and maddoxes (sp?) to try and deal with quite a few tumbleweeds and we did! 3 hours of hard work and meeting new people felt like just the way to start off the week. 5 or 6 miles of hiking and work are actually better than caffeine. Now, I don't have to feel quite so guilty about riding those trails and wondering who cleaned out the debris after a windstorm.

Teacher left an almost empty bottle of ibuprofen in my pickup last night as she emptied her tiny purse of extra's before the movie. I texted her and offered to bring it by in the early afternoon. Her joking response was, "Well, if you are looking for an excuse..." So I drove to her house and little Molly barked furiously until I picked her up and gave her some love. Teacher said that was Molly's 'I'm glad to see you' bark. After I satisfied Molly, Teacher and I enjoyed a time of hugging and smooching and snuggling before the emotional reality of preparing for another teaching week intruded our thoughts, so we parted and I headed home for an evening with my son.

Teenagers, even if legally adults, are really happy when parents show up with groceries. My son was so excited for the giant frozen lasagna and the few other things I bought. His response to food always makes me happy.

Gang, I hope your week is fantastic. Keep your chin up and be ready for the next adventure!

3 adult sonsMarried 32 years. DDay1 - June 2016, DDay 2 - April 2017, Final DDay - May 2020. Divorced - January 2021

posts: 440   路   registered: Oct. 25th, 2016   路   location: Colorado
id 8708795
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 countrydirt (original poster member #55758) posted at 1:32 AM on Wednesday, January 12th, 2022

My older brother was married for 18 years. His ex and I were always good friends. She's an only child and her and I latched onto each other as quasi brother and sister so many years ago. After they divorced, well, things were awkward, but we stayed in touch and had birthday greetings (she's about 20 days younger than me) over the years. She re-married and moved closer to where I live. We were able to get together about once a year and visit. Last year, after the divorce, I realized that they only lived about 35 miles away and tried to reach out more.

I ended up going to their house a couple of times for dinner and playing guitars. Her husband is a hell of a professional guitar player and musician, so it's been good to stretch my old arthritic fingers and to sing some harmony.

Over the past 6 months or so I've gone to several gigs to hear them sing and play. It's always a great time. In the winter, the venues are somewhat limited in capacity, but still it is enjoyable. This weekend (actually Thursday evening) he is playing at a place about 50 miles away. I spoke with him on the phone and he wants me to bring my guitar and play with him for a set. Teacher is coming along! Now I'm nervous. What if my voice cracks or my fingers get fumbled up? Oh the pressure!!

3 adult sonsMarried 32 years. DDay1 - June 2016, DDay 2 - April 2017, Final DDay - May 2020. Divorced - January 2021

posts: 440   路   registered: Oct. 25th, 2016   路   location: Colorado
id 8709193
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 countrydirt (original poster member #55758) posted at 2:09 PM on Monday, January 17th, 2022

My voice didn't crack too much and let's just say that she really digs a man who can play and sing! grin She said, "well, I'm a pretty big fan."

I've had a good couple of weeks. My house is finally back under contract and fingers crossed, this time it will go through - third times the charm, right? Then I can cut the last ties with the ex and keep moving on with life.

Teacher and I are having a wonderful time. A few meals, both in and out, movies, music, walks and long talks. Today is her birthday (yep, just another Monday at school for both of us) but have some light plans for this evening. We've been seeing other for around 8 months (exclusively for about 3) and are getting very comfortable talking about anything from our present lives and our pasts. It is nice to have someone to share the day with and to be able to vent about the professional and personal issues I face.

3 adult sonsMarried 32 years. DDay1 - June 2016, DDay 2 - April 2017, Final DDay - May 2020. Divorced - January 2021

posts: 440   路   registered: Oct. 25th, 2016   路   location: Colorado
id 8710298
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Anna123 ( member #70908) posted at 2:11 PM on Monday, January 17th, 2022

I am so happy to see things are going so well! I haven't been around much and was happy to see these updates after checking back in here.

posts: 676   路   registered: Jul. 1st, 2019   路   location: USA
id 8710299
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WhoTheBleep ( member #49504) posted at 5:23 PM on Tuesday, January 18th, 2022

I have recently dipped my toe back into the dating pool. Too much isolation is not good, even for me, as I found I was also isolating from friends. Anyway, I love reading these updates, CD. You give us all hope!

I believe we have two lives: the one we learn with, and the one we live with after that. --The Natural

posts: 4421   路   registered: Sep. 6th, 2015   路   location: USA
id 8710481
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 countrydirt (original poster member #55758) posted at 10:24 PM on Tuesday, January 18th, 2022

Thanks Anna123 and WTB. I appreciate you! The waters in the dating pool can be turbulent at times, but well, you know, white water rafting can be pretty darn thrilling!

Last night I was tired from work and came home and tried to talk myself out of heading to Teacher's house for a low key BD celebration and even broached the idea with Teacher. That thought didn't go over well. I'm glad that it didn't happen! I took over a little strawberry shortcake and a card and we enjoyed each other's company for a few hours of couch time and a couple of TV shows. I'm not sure if I've mentioned this before, but I don't watch television at home and haven't for nearly 20 years. It's such an incredible time suck. But Teacher likes it, so I guess that's a compromise I'll make.

We firmed up some plans to go skiing on February 1. I'm going to start doing something that I've rarely done in my over 35 years of professional life - take a day off just to go do something fun. I've got so many unused days off that when I retire in June, I'll have a big pile of cash to go into a 401k or 403b and build a little for a rainy day in a few years.

I was "yelled at" by a co-worker this morning. Her daughter was one of my favorite students and is one of my son's long time friends. My son told her daughter that I was retiring at the end of the school year and so my friend heard about it from her daughter and came and told me that I was breaking her heart laugh since we teach similar subjects and have become pretty good professional friends over the past 10+ years. But, she is also kind of envious since she likely will teach for at least 10 more years. I did turn in my official letter of retirement yesterday.

Now to head home and rest up. Tomorrow I take a field trip with 30 teenagers to the National Western Stock Show in Denver. Sub plans are ready and I'm looking forward to being with some kids away from school again. But, I'll admit that this may be my last trip to the stock show. I've been going to it since 1979 and I'm pretty much done with it. Same thing with the State Fair. I probably will never go to it again since I've spent nearly a year of days at it over the course of my career.

Life is busy and good.

3 adult sonsMarried 32 years. DDay1 - June 2016, DDay 2 - April 2017, Final DDay - May 2020. Divorced - January 2021

posts: 440   路   registered: Oct. 25th, 2016   路   location: Colorado
id 8710549
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ff4152 ( member #55404) posted at 10:38 PM on Tuesday, January 18th, 2022

CD

How did it feel to make your retirement official when you handed in that letter? I鈥檓 still a few years off but I think about it quite often.

Me -FWS

posts: 1984   路   registered: Sep. 30th, 2016
id 8710556
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 countrydirt (original poster member #55758) posted at 1:00 AM on Wednesday, January 19th, 2022

How did it feel to make your retirement official when you handed in that letter? I鈥檓 still a few years off but I think about it quite often.

I'm not going to lie. It felt sort of weird, yet relieving at the same time. In my career, I've written about 3 or 4 resignation letters and this one felt different because technically it is a resignation, but it is the final resignation. And I feel a bit of a weight lifting from my psyche and am enjoying this last semester of teaching more than I thought I would, despite the ever shifting work-load.

The world is so cock-eyed weird right now. None of us know what the 'rules' are from day to day and we all just keep plugging away. I think, if not for the pandemic and resultant confusion, I probably would have stuck it out for a few more years because I absolutely love being around teenagers and helping them make connections in their brains and lives.

But now, I think it is more about me and experiencing what is out there in this season of life. Shoot, I see retired folks posting pics of kayak days on a Tuesday! or bike rides on a Wednesday!. Hell, I'm gonna get me some of that!!

3 adult sonsMarried 32 years. DDay1 - June 2016, DDay 2 - April 2017, Final DDay - May 2020. Divorced - January 2021

posts: 440   路   registered: Oct. 25th, 2016   路   location: Colorado
id 8710582
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 countrydirt (original poster member #55758) posted at 8:50 AM on Saturday, January 29th, 2022

Over due update! School and life continue busy, but I just keep soldiering on. Teacher and I weren't able to get together last weekend because she went to see family that she hasn't seen since pre-lockdown and then were only able to have a quick Wednesday evening dinner and short snuggle time.

However, the weekend is here and so we were able to get together a couple of times on Friday. In the morning was coffee at a St*rb*cks with way too loud of music playing. This evening was out and about on the town for fellowship and laughter with friends who are slowly doing reviews of margaritas at the various spots in our town. The first place is owned by an old friend and he immediately said, "Are you the margarita reviewers?" I'm sure the drinks were made special tonight. We all hit another locale close by for food and then we parted ways from the larger group.

Teacher and I went to a music venue for some great tunes and more laughter. It turned out to not only be a show, but a birthday party for the performer - who is a friend from prior to the pandemic.

We also saw some folks that we both knew and had a nice time seeing how we were both connected to them in very different ways. They were part of Teacher's support network when she moved back here after her divorce and nearly 30 years of living on the East Coast. As for my connection they are the in-laws of my best friend who passed away in 2007, so we've been friends for many years and have some shared memories of planning a memorial for him and both of us speaking at his funeral. It's a small world if you don't get very far from where you grew up.

After the music we returned to her house to be greeted by little Molly and then, well, you know... blush wink

Keeping with our tradition, I returned to my home and am now unwinding before I hit the hay. We are going skiing on Tuesday of next week (gasp, teacher's taking a day off to do something fun?!) We are also firming up some plans to go spend a weekend with my sister and brother-in-law. I did say that we would likely end up sleeping all night in the same bed then and agreed that is soon enough for both of us.

We like the way things are going with us and in fact, she texted a picture of us to her older sister. Teacher mentioned that she told her older sister that she still wasn't sure what was going to happen with us and was still a little flustered by the age difference, which turns out to be 6 years, not 5 like I thought at first. Her sister said, "What does it matter? If you like him, just keep having fun!" I've had a similar conversation with my IC and he basically said the same thing.

So I'll sleep tonight and then wake up tomorrow and face whatever the world presents! You do the same!!

Oh and another thought of how life can be really strange, but ultimately comforting. My XW was a hoarder of craft and sewing supplies and machines. I think at one point she had about 40 sewing machines around here. I was learning how to repair/recondition the vintage machines and we ended up selling a few of them. I thought I needed to know how they worked in order to know how to repair them, so XW taught me how to sew and I made a few things over the years.

Well, earlier this month, I bought a fleece jacket from one of the big box sporting goods stores and the darn thing started falling apart pretty quickly, so I oiled up the only sewing machine that I didn't haul to the XW's new house and fixed the jacket and it is now better than when I bought it for sure.

That little foray into sewing sort of got me going again on this therapeutic hobby, so I made a few neck scarf/muffs for skiing and decided to make a little rag quilt for Teacher, who doesn't like to be cold and can use it as a lap quilt on her sofa when she watches the news. I sleep under a couple of quilts I made, so I know I can do it.

[This message edited by countrydirt at 9:02 AM, Saturday, January 29th]

3 adult sonsMarried 32 years. DDay1 - June 2016, DDay 2 - April 2017, Final DDay - May 2020. Divorced - January 2021

posts: 440   路   registered: Oct. 25th, 2016   路   location: Colorado
id 8712565
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grubs ( member #77165) posted at 3:51 PM on Sunday, January 30th, 2022

Teacher mentioned that she told her older sister that she still wasn't sure what was going to happen with us and was still a little flustered by the age difference, which turns out to be 6 years, not 5 like I thought at first.

Six years once you are both out of the teens, I don't see as that great an issue. Unless you are really in different places in life. I mean one hits retirement earlier but there's nothing saying you have to or that is something not easily accomodated. My father had 5 years on mom, I have 6 on the wife. Shrug.

posts: 1367   路   registered: Jan. 21st, 2021
id 8712745
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 countrydirt (original poster member #55758) posted at 12:22 AM on Monday, January 31st, 2022

Six years once you are both out of the teens, I don't see as that great an issue. Unless you are really in different places in life. I mean one hits retirement earlier but there's nothing saying you have to or that is something not easily accomodated.

Thanks grubs. The age difference has never been an issue for me, it was more of a concern for her, but she did tell me the other evening that after about 7 months of seeing each other, she realized that I wasn't an a-hole so the age difference is becoming less and less of a concern for her. She'll retire a year later than I will, although she may decide to pull the plug at the end of this year as well.

Yesterday we got together for lunch in a local city park (Subway sandwiches that turned out to be nearly identical as we ordered) and then went for a hike out at our reservoir/state park. It felt so good to be outside on a beautiful January day and to take in the serenity of nature. After, she said something like, "If you get bored tonight, come on over." Once I got home though, I was tired and sent her a message that I thought I would just stay home but would be cooking and that she was welcome to come over.

I ended up having to share her attention with my son as I cooked. She's just crazy about my boy and he is so polite and kind and a brilliant conversationalist. After supper, he went on back to his room to do whatever it is that 18 year olds do, and she mentioned that she wanted to take him to lunch sometime, without me. I think that's wonderful!

We finished up our evening with dancing in the kitchen for about an hour.

We are going skiing this week.

This coming weekend we are heading off to an airbnb and little concert venue at a town about an hour and half south for a weekend getaway. We'll be going near where I grew up and where I spent many years of my adult life as well, so I'll be able to show her a bit more of my history.

We were both married for a long time and for the most part, both of our previous marriages were pretty good, until they weren't. We've discovered that we are both getting more comfortable with sharing funny stories and good memories from our lives before. I don't know if I've mentioned it, but her marriage ended because of infidelity as well so that is another thing we have in common.

[This message edited by countrydirt at 6:03 PM, Monday, January 31st]

3 adult sonsMarried 32 years. DDay1 - June 2016, DDay 2 - April 2017, Final DDay - May 2020. Divorced - January 2021

posts: 440   路   registered: Oct. 25th, 2016   路   location: Colorado
id 8712815
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