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Newest Member: Unsureofhope

New Beginnings :
Update from Southern Colorado

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Shehawk ( member #68741) posted at 9:13 PM on Tuesday, February 1st, 2022

" If you're reading this and just starting out in your New Beginnings, have faith! There is an amazing world out there just waiting for you!!"

So true!

"It's a slow fade...when you give yourself away" so don't do it!

posts: 1111   ·   registered: Nov. 5th, 2018   ·   location: VA
id 8713165
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 countrydirt (original poster member #55758) posted at 2:11 PM on Wednesday, February 2nd, 2022

I'm tired today. Our ski trip went great. We didn't get rolling too early but still made it easily to the mountain and enjoyed seeing Rocky Mountain Big Horn sheep along the way up the Arkansas River. We ski'id pretty hard all day and as we were driving back home, we both commented that we were tired. We had a great day of conversation as she shared her memories of her late son (yesterday was his birthday). When she would become quiet in contemplation, I was able to tell her more stories about my sons' growing up days and she commented that she feels like she is getting to know me better and better all of the time. We took quite a few pictures and she informed me that she was now 'required' to send pictures of us to her sister and we laughed about that - a couple of old people like us having to document our shenanigans to our older relatives!

Our area is under a winter storm warning and were both hoping to hear that our schools would at least delay the next day's start. My phone doesn't respond when I am driving, but her's did and she got the call from her district that the next day was cancelled and gloated the rest of the way home. Her district is the city school district, while mine is the county district and we generally cancel before they do as we run many more school buses. However, after got to her house, my phone realized I wasn't driving and let the messages come through and I get a day off as well!

So we took advantage of no need to go to sleep early and get up early and had some more fun together. When I left her house last night, it was just beginning to snow.

As I type this, I look out my windows and see quite a bit of snow on the ground and watch the snowplows rattle by, I am glad I don't have to go anywhere this morning.

3 adult sonsMarried 32 years. DDay1 - June 2016, DDay 2 - April 2017, Final DDay - May 2020. Divorced - January 2021

posts: 441   ·   registered: Oct. 25th, 2016   ·   location: Colorado
id 8713279
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 countrydirt (original poster member #55758) posted at 1:46 AM on Monday, February 14th, 2022

Just a quick update. I've had a good few weeks. School is going well and well, I have 4 months until retirement! Teacher and I have continued to have fun together. Movies, meals, music and just time together has been very special. We're talking more and more all of the time and just allowing "us" to develop. It's nice.

3 adult sonsMarried 32 years. DDay1 - June 2016, DDay 2 - April 2017, Final DDay - May 2020. Divorced - January 2021

posts: 441   ·   registered: Oct. 25th, 2016   ·   location: Colorado
id 8715987
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 countrydirt (original poster member #55758) posted at 4:59 AM on Tuesday, February 15th, 2022

Teacher and I had a long walk yesterday. It was really nice and she can walk my ass off for the first mile or two, but my longer legs kick in for the last mile or two and then I can keep up. Anyway, we had a great time together and while driving her home, I asked if we were close to the house where she grew up and she gave me directions to drive to that neighborhood. We turned into the setting sun and she was blinded and I told her to grab a pair of my sunglasses from the glovebox. She did. We drove to her old neighborhood and she shared some fond memories from her childhood. Then back to her house. We agreed that I probably shouldn't come in since we can't seem to find any restraint when we are not in a vehicle or in public, so she headed in and I drove home.

A bit later she texted and apologized for having my sunglasses (which I rarely wear) and said she would get them back tomorrow (today as I write). I suggested that perhaps we could get together then and I could grab the glasses. We rarely see each other during the work week since we both are pretty tired at the end of the day.

Welp, she texted me this evening and said something along the lines of she would really like to see me. I texted back a "be right over" response and grabbed the Valentine card I had for her and headed that way. Normally when I arrive, I have to pick up little Molly for a little snuggle before Teacher and I greet each other, but tonight I stepped in the door and we immediately went into an extended hug. Molly was confused and stopped her 'I'm so happy to see you' bark and just looked at us. After the hug, I picked up Molly and greeted her properly and then Teacher handed me a lovely card and I handed her mine.

We enjoyed an extended snuggle on the sofa and watched a bit of the Olympics and just enjoyed being together. The reality of the work week intruded after an hour or so and I said I'd better head home.

Damn, I forgot my sunglasses. Guess I'll have to head over again tomorrow! laugh

3 adult sonsMarried 32 years. DDay1 - June 2016, DDay 2 - April 2017, Final DDay - May 2020. Divorced - January 2021

posts: 441   ·   registered: Oct. 25th, 2016   ·   location: Colorado
id 8716297
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WhoTheBleep ( member #49504) posted at 10:18 PM on Tuesday, February 22nd, 2022

I needed a countrydirt update today. And look, there were a couple waiting here for me...thanks CD. I'm glad you are enjoying your life!

I believe we have two lives: the one we learn with, and the one we live with after that. --The Natural

posts: 4422   ·   registered: Sep. 6th, 2015   ·   location: USA
id 8718174
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 countrydirt (original poster member #55758) posted at 12:31 AM on Saturday, February 26th, 2022

I needed a countrydirt update today. And look, there were a couple waiting here for me...thanks CD. I'm glad you are enjoying your life!

You're welcome WTB!

Another monumental step on moving on to the new life when I finally got the family home sold! It took much longer than expected with a couple of aborted closings on the part of the buyers, but we got it done and I should be completely debt free by Tuesday and still have some money left for deciding what is next!

My son is actually staying with his mother for the next week or so until I find a place to rent. I'm glad for this because I was worried that he would't have a good relationship with his mother. He was pretty hesitant about it, but being a young adult, he thought he ought to step up. Plus, renting with a cat is difficult and now, she has the cat back!

I couldn't get any place locked in while I was still paying a mortgage, but now I can. For now, I'm a Ramada resident but have several appointments tomorrow and Sunday to look at neighborhoods and possibilities. And I don't mind.

All of my stuff is in storage right now and well, I've got too much stuff and will spend the next month or so paring it all down. I've already gotten rid of a lot of excess, but I really need to evaluate it all and decide where I want to actually be when I retire in 4 months. Getting rid of stuff was sort of emotionally jarring as so much was accumulated during the 32 years I was married.

Teacher and I have had a good time lately, although she had a horrible reaction to a medication and it burned her lips, so no smooching for a while. She invited me over the other night (I've been moving stuff and not "working") and she said she thought about cooking for me, but didn't really know what I liked to eat when I was doing so much manual labor, so we went out and had a local dish at a longtime local hangout and had a nice time. And yes, in case any of my readers were wondering, you can do 'adult' things without kissing! wink

3 adult sonsMarried 32 years. DDay1 - June 2016, DDay 2 - April 2017, Final DDay - May 2020. Divorced - January 2021

posts: 441   ·   registered: Oct. 25th, 2016   ·   location: Colorado
id 8718868
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 countrydirt (original poster member #55758) posted at 3:37 PM on Sunday, February 27th, 2022

I don't believe I've consistently slept more than 6 hours a night over the past 6 years. Normal nights were 3-5 hours and then lots of thinking. Particularly over the past 4 months of selling the house, I probably slept 2-4 hours nightly with an occasional 6-7 hour night thrown in. Its a wonder I didn't have a psychotic break!

Well, closing the life chapter by actually selling the family home seems to be huge. Teacher and I hung out on Friday night and then I woke up at 9 a.m. the next morning, for a solid 8 hours. Yesterday afternoon, I poached her internet at her house and we both spent a solid 3-4 hours doing lesson plans and grading papers. She had been to a Mennonite grocery store and brought home a huge turkey pot pie and salad. She said, "I wanted to do something nice for you and thought you might like this." I did. For once, on a Saturday night, we decided to just stay in instead of going out and just enjoyed the heck out of each other. No TV, just talking and well...you know. Then I came back to the motel and had a 9 hour night of sleep. Apparently, I don't always look like a hound dog with extremely baggy eyes.

I have a line on a newer townhome that is closer to Teacher and closer to my ex as well. Got some good advice from my realtor about it. Being closer to the ex will make it easier for my son to continue to work on that relationship. I'll be looking at the place this afternoon and hopefully can make a solid offer and get that ball rolling.

3 adult sonsMarried 32 years. DDay1 - June 2016, DDay 2 - April 2017, Final DDay - May 2020. Divorced - January 2021

posts: 441   ·   registered: Oct. 25th, 2016   ·   location: Colorado
id 8719083
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 countrydirt (original poster member #55758) posted at 7:29 AM on Sunday, March 6th, 2022

Welp, I'm moved in to the new place and still have stuff in storage and way too many boxes to deal with, but I have a start. Moving is not fun, but man what a relief to get that chapter of my life closed and continue writing the new one. I actually had my first package delivery today.

Last night Teacher and I went out for music and ice cream, but we were both really tired from busy days, me from moving tons of boxes and furniture and she from grading papers. She came by this afternoon to check it out (our homes are literally 5 minutes apart driving and maybe 15 by bicycle) and we made plans for dinner and a movie.

My son has spent the last week and half at his mother's house, but he is ready to get moved in with me. I'm looking forward to having him back, but we agreed that he ought to spend a night or two a week with his mom. He's scoped out the neighborhood and thinks he can jog to his mom's place in about 20 minutes.

3 adult sonsMarried 32 years. DDay1 - June 2016, DDay 2 - April 2017, Final DDay - May 2020. Divorced - January 2021

posts: 441   ·   registered: Oct. 25th, 2016   ·   location: Colorado
id 8721422
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 countrydirt (original poster member #55758) posted at 3:03 AM on Saturday, March 26th, 2022

Overdue update - life does get busy, but we need to slow down once in a while and appreciate what comes our way.

This week is spring break in our school districts. It was much needed. Teacher and I took a trip to the mountains for 3 days and had an absolutely wonderful time. We started out with a nice drive from our lowlands and headed through a high mountain valley and marveled at the snow and had a great time just looking and talking. We had a nice lunch of an elk burger and soup then headed for a hot springs resort and soaked in hot water for a couple of hours. Then we headed out to our evening destination about 35 minutes up the road and enjoyed seeing elk and deer in the fields along the highway as we drove. We arrived at a nice airbnb and got ourselves situated and then drove around the small mountain town and settled on a Mexican restaurant for Taco Tuesday!

Neither of us have slept in the same bed with anyone else for a long time, so the sleeping part was sort of hit and miss. But we made it through and headed up to the ski area and spent the day on the slopes and tired ourselves out with many epic ski runs. Once we finished skiing, we came back to town and walked the streets a bit and looked in a few shops and picked up a few mementos and had a good time trying to predict what sort of things the other would like.

We were so tired that we decided to warm up some beef stew I made and froze for the trip instead of going out to eat. It turned out very well and since she brought along cheese and nuts and other stuff, the meal tuned out really good. We enjoyed the evening together with television and some snuggling and lots of conversation.

The last morning of the trip was spent journeying homeward. The straight through drive normally takes about 3 hours, but we extended that to about 6 with stops for lots of photos of the majestic Rocky Mountains, Rocky Mountain Bighorn Sheep and coffee stops, bathroom stops and visiting a few shops in the towns along the way.

We had such wonderful conversations as we drove through much of the landscape where I spent much time growing up and worked in early in my professional career. We told each other family stories and just enjoyed the time together.

As we arrived at her home and unloaded all of her bags (really, how can such a tiny person take so many bags on a 3 day trip?) we ended with a long hug and she said, "If this hug goes on much longer, you're going to have to stay!" with a sly little grin. But we agreed that we were both tired and so we parted, happy and exhausted.

Tomorrow night we are going out to hear a bluegrass band at a local venue and then spring break will be over. I will head into the final two months of my teaching career and am so looking forward to moving onto whatever is next. 35 years of buttoned down professional life is enough for me. I'm gonna wear t-shirts starting in June!

3 adult sonsMarried 32 years. DDay1 - June 2016, DDay 2 - April 2017, Final DDay - May 2020. Divorced - January 2021

posts: 441   ·   registered: Oct. 25th, 2016   ·   location: Colorado
id 8725983
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BearlyBreathing ( member #55075) posted at 8:06 AM on Saturday, March 26th, 2022

What a great update!!!

Me: BS 55 (49 on d-day)Him: WH. 64. D-Day 8/15/2016 LTA. Kinda liking my new life :-)

**horrible typist, lots of edits to correct. :-/ **

posts: 5117   ·   registered: Sep. 10th, 2016   ·   location: Northern CA
id 8726009
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nekorb ( member #40306) posted at 2:10 PM on Saturday, March 26th, 2022

What a great update! You had your first dday around the time my D was final.

If you think you feel great now, wait until 5 years from now. You ain’t seen nothin’ yet!!

Me: BS 44; Him: WH 47 M - 22 Years
D-day: 7/2013; D filed 7/2014; Divorced 7-27-16
...the WS affair starts off in a dreamland where everything is all Golly, Wow! and Meant To Be! and Soul Mates drop from the trees to frolic in the mist. -devotedman

posts: 5701   ·   registered: Aug. 13th, 2013
id 8726027
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 countrydirt (original poster member #55758) posted at 10:36 PM on Saturday, April 9th, 2022

Teacher has the flu crying Poor thing. I took her a care package of soup, tissue and cough drops and some flowers. We're avoiding each other for a few more days, just in case.

We continue to move forward.

[This message edited by countrydirt at 10:38 PM, Saturday, April 9th]

3 adult sonsMarried 32 years. DDay1 - June 2016, DDay 2 - April 2017, Final DDay - May 2020. Divorced - January 2021

posts: 441   ·   registered: Oct. 25th, 2016   ·   location: Colorado
id 8728951
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 countrydirt (original poster member #55758) posted at 1:13 PM on Sunday, April 17th, 2022

Teacher is better, but the flu kicked up her asthma, so she has a cough. But we went out for a nice long walk yesterday, then drove to get lunch (she had to drive since I rode my bike to her house - 3.1 miles) and then went to the movies last night. We hadn't seen each other for over a week, so it was really nice to have time together.

3 adult sonsMarried 32 years. DDay1 - June 2016, DDay 2 - April 2017, Final DDay - May 2020. Divorced - January 2021

posts: 441   ·   registered: Oct. 25th, 2016   ·   location: Colorado
id 8730198
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 countrydirt (original poster member #55758) posted at 12:37 AM on Sunday, April 24th, 2022

My community has a bike race this weekend. Most of my cycling group volunteered to help with a bike rodeo for the littles and we all just pretty much planned on being around each other while we watched the big time racers ride. Teacher and I talked about going to it together, but decided maybe we ought to go separately just so we wouldn't have the "pressure" of being there as a couple and could spend a little time doing friend things with other friends.

So I rode my bicycle downtown and helped out at the bike rodeo and watched some of the bike race. Teacher arrived later than I did and made her way to the bike rodeo and immediately we just sort of got together and ended up spending the rest of the day with each other. So much for not being there as a couple! It turns out that we have many of the same friends and even though we knew that, it was fun to just join in the post bike race shenanigans and laughter that ensued.

It's sort of funny, we make it a point with each other to not tell other people that we are 'dating' since dating seems like something that younger people do. But, our mutual friends know what we are doing and will ask me (since I can only respond for me) if Teacher will be coming along to something if we aren't immediately seen together. Teacher has told me the same thing when she gets somewhere in similar circumstances. Both of us can honestly respond, "I think so, but we don't talk all of the time, so maybe not."

Silly I know, but we are having a good time.

3 adult sonsMarried 32 years. DDay1 - June 2016, DDay 2 - April 2017, Final DDay - May 2020. Divorced - January 2021

posts: 441   ·   registered: Oct. 25th, 2016   ·   location: Colorado
id 8731522
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 countrydirt (original poster member #55758) posted at 12:51 AM on Monday, May 2nd, 2022

Another step forward. Teacher is coming with me to my nephew's college graduation this coming weekend and we'll be staying with my sister and her husband. We are also planning an early summer trip to meet her family.

We keep finding ourselves making reasons to be together. ILYs were said this weekend for the first time. She's starting to let go of her concern over the 5 year age difference since I keep showing that it doesn't matter to me. Her little dog continues to bark joyously when I get to her house and mournfully when I leave. We both really like the way we feel when we are together. We've been seeing each other for almost a year and exclusively for about 9 months.

We had tons of fun this weekend. We had tickets to a local music venue for one of her favorite bands on Thursday. She also had a birthday party to go to earlier and I was playing music for a fundraiser for a local middle school. I haven't really played and sang much in public over the past 5 years, but I think it went well. Ironically, my ex teaches at that middle school and as I looked out at the audience, she was near the front row and taking it all in. After I finished and packed up my guitar, she came up to me and said,"I really miss hearing you play." I just gave her a hug and thanked her and headed into town for the other show. Funnily enough, I still like her - heck we were married for 32 years, so I guess that is to be expected. Anyhoo, Teacher went to the venue and picked up our armbands and sat with a new friend until I got there. Once I arrived, we actually left the venue and had a nice walk on our riverwalk and then went back in for the music.

Friday night we went out to eat and were going to go to hear more music, but were both tired and decided to go to her house and snuggle. Saturday I had volunteered to help our local trail builders club run a bicycle "valet" service at the zoo for a ZooBrewfest. Teacher decided she ought to volunteer as well and we had a wonderful time getting acquainted with the other volunteers and discovered some fun connections - one lived in Vermont at the same time she did and they actually lived in the same township for a while, but never met. The other volunteer grew up in the town where I was born and I discovered that I actually knew some of his family.

Sunday (today as I type) we both had stuff to do - she had a nuptial celebration for 3 co-workers and I wanted to ride my mountain bike. So we both did our own things (my ride was excellent! and she had a great time as well). After, I popped over to her house for a hug and little snuggle and we sat on her sofa and visited a bit. The workweek approaches, so we had to cut our shenanigans short and start acting like responsible people again.

But all in all, things are going quite well. Hang in there gang!

3 adult sonsMarried 32 years. DDay1 - June 2016, DDay 2 - April 2017, Final DDay - May 2020. Divorced - January 2021

posts: 441   ·   registered: Oct. 25th, 2016   ·   location: Colorado
id 8733076
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ff4152 ( member #55404) posted at 12:41 PM on Monday, May 2nd, 2022

CD

Thank you for your latest update. It really sounds like things are developing nicely and organically with teacher lady. Please keep ‘em coming.

As corny as this may sound, your updates are like a little beacon of light amidst the sea of misery that exists here.

Me -FWS

posts: 1988   ·   registered: Sep. 30th, 2016
id 8733114
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 countrydirt (original poster member #55758) posted at 3:14 PM on Sunday, May 8th, 2022

Oh man, we slept through the graduation! Literally, we slept in until it was too late to get there on time, but we made it to lunch with the family. We had a great time with my sister and brother-in-law out dining on a Friday night in a college town then saw my nephew and played pinball machines! Teacher and my sister have just hit it off like they've known each other for years. But sleeping in a quiet neighborhood on a really nice bed and we just simply slept! It was awesome.

Later, we drove around the radically changed city and campus where we both attended so many years ago. We found her old dormitory and apartment and my old apartment building but so much has changed over the years. Then off to another college town for the graduate's lunch. She met a few more family members and we had a great time laughing and visiting. The graduate kept us rolling with his funny stories and smart-assery!

We had a bit of time so we stopped and saw her sister and brother-in-law and niece on the way back to our town. I think she had seen her people once since the pandemic hit, so she needed it and I felt honored to be introduced. And they are really nice.

Now its time for the really exciting part of the weekend - groceries, laundry, lesson plans...

3 adult sonsMarried 32 years. DDay1 - June 2016, DDay 2 - April 2017, Final DDay - May 2020. Divorced - January 2021

posts: 441   ·   registered: Oct. 25th, 2016   ·   location: Colorado
id 8734203
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BearlyBreathing ( member #55075) posted at 9:43 PM on Sunday, May 8th, 2022

smile

Me: BS 55 (49 on d-day)Him: WH. 64. D-Day 8/15/2016 LTA. Kinda liking my new life :-)

**horrible typist, lots of edits to correct. :-/ **

posts: 5117   ·   registered: Sep. 10th, 2016   ·   location: Northern CA
id 8734252
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 countrydirt (original poster member #55758) posted at 10:35 PM on Friday, May 13th, 2022

The weekly cruiser bike ride went well. We had about 50 people there. Teacher and I rode together for some, rode apart other times but we all ended up at the same place. She took a bit of a short cut at the top of a hill and so she won the race back to the start! (as she told me smugly when I finished). We laughed and visited with many old friends and a few new ones for a bit then finished the evening with some time together at her house.

This morning she called me and asked if I could come "rescue" her by driving her back to a tire shop after she had new tires put on her car. She dropped her car off and rode her bike back to her house, but the traffic was picking up and she didn't want to deal with it. Since I was out, it was easy to just pop by and pick her up. But, we stepped out to look at her lawnmower and somehow, the door shut behind us and we were locked out of the house shocked So she called her landlord and he brought a key right over and "rescued" us.

Her car wasn't quite ready, so we went out and had lunch. She asked me if I wanted to go to a hot springs this evening with a group of friends. So, tonight is taken care of. The afternoon is helping set up for a triathlon tomorrow and then tomorrow I attempt to survive a mini-tri! Wish me luck.

[This message edited by countrydirt at 10:36 PM, Friday, May 13th]

3 adult sonsMarried 32 years. DDay1 - June 2016, DDay 2 - April 2017, Final DDay - May 2020. Divorced - January 2021

posts: 441   ·   registered: Oct. 25th, 2016   ·   location: Colorado
id 8735215
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 countrydirt (original poster member #55758) posted at 9:16 PM on Saturday, May 14th, 2022

I didn't die on the triathlon!

3 adult sonsMarried 32 years. DDay1 - June 2016, DDay 2 - April 2017, Final DDay - May 2020. Divorced - January 2021

posts: 441   ·   registered: Oct. 25th, 2016   ·   location: Colorado
id 8735351
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