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Reconciliation :
Thankful Thursday

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MIgander ( member #71285) posted at 9:13 PM on Thursday, June 2nd, 2022

I am thankful for a friend who writes me lovely notes. A dog who tolerates me cutting her fur. A job where I can work from home, cut said dog's fur and get corporate training done grin

WW/BW Dday July 2019. BH/WH- multiple EA's. Back at it again- bantering w the younger woman. Lied about blocking phone calls and deleted texts. Carried on with her.

Nothing changes if nothing changes.

posts: 773   ·   registered: Aug. 15th, 2019   ·   location: Michigan
id 8738270
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 Want2BHappyAgain (original poster member #45088) posted at 2:48 AM on Friday, June 3rd, 2022

My goodness...LOTS of posts from last week and this week...THANKS to all of you for sharing grin !!

NINE months have passed since Ida devastated our area...and there is still so much that needs to be done. Thank God that there are people from ALL OVER this great country who are still here to HELP those of us who are in the most need smile . It makes my heart SMILE to see the license plates from different states on the vehicles in some of the hardest hit areas smile . Hurricane season started yesterday...but these very KIND and compassionate people are still here...and we Louisianians are so THANKFUL for that smile .

I am thankful for my many blessings smile . Even with the stress level not going down...I have PEACE. I never realized how valuable that was until I lost it. My garden work is paying off...and I am so enjoying the fruits of our labor grin . My mission during this A season is to find JOY in every day...and so far I have...Thank You God!!! Truthfully...the joy doesn't last all day...but at the end of the day I can look back and see when I had it. PROGRESS grin !!!

A "perfect marriage" is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other.

With God ALL things are possible (Matthew 19:26)

I AM happy again...It CAN happen!!!

From respect comes great love...sassylee

posts: 6188   ·   registered: Oct. 2nd, 2014   ·   location: Southeastern United States
id 8738326
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Grieving ( member #79540) posted at 12:21 PM on Friday, June 3rd, 2022

Want2be, my dad is actually one of those people still there doing ida-related rebuilding work!

Tanner, I don’t think I commented on this before, but I’ve been laughing over the story of your son’s swimming adventure. Thank you for telling it!

I’m grateful that the school year is basically over. I love my students so much, but I was really burned out. This week has just been teacher in service, so it’s comparatively short work days (6 hours). I’ve gotten my kids sent off on two fun trips, cleaned my whole house, worked out every day, and worked in my garden. It’s been really nice.

[This message edited by Grieving at 12:22 PM, Friday, June 3rd]

Married for 20 years with two kids when my husband had a six month emotional and physical affair with a coworker. DD1: 6/2020 (soft evidence followed by a month of lies). DD2: 7/3/2020 (hard evidence, truth, started reconciliation journey).

posts: 193   ·   registered: Oct. 30th, 2021
id 8738376
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Tanner ( member #72235) posted at 10:34 PM on Saturday, June 4th, 2022

Tanner, I don’t think I commented on this before, but I’ve been laughing over the story of your son’s swimming adventure. Thank you for telling it!

Lol Grieving, I have a great sense of humor and I’m not letting infidelity take another thing from me. We live a very difficult life with autism, and we laugh through it to keep our sanity. 😀

My W is a great partner in this part of the journey.

Dday Sept 7 2019 doing well in R
BH M 31 years

posts: 1652   ·   registered: Dec. 5th, 2019   ·   location: Texas DFW
id 8738672
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 Want2BHappyAgain (original poster member #45088) posted at 3:13 PM on Thursday, June 9th, 2022

Grieving...please tell your Dad THANK YOU grin !! We met with 2 people from northern states this past week who were down here helping us to recover. One of them said they liked it down here...except for the humidity!! I told them that I would take the humidity over snow ANY DAY!! We Cajuns can't handle snow laugh !!

My H voluntarily took some extra stuff off of my "plate" to help with the stress level I have been having. Oddly...I had been doing alright until A season hit. I felt like a failure for having my H pile more onto his "plate"...but he gently assured me that this wasn't the case at all smile . He told me this morning that he feels very GOOD about this...because this is something he can do the HELP ME. I can't begin to express how this made me feel...but I am sure y'all understand smile . Eight years ago at this time...with a LOT of stress being put on my "plate"...my H couldn't have cared less. I handled it as best as I could back then...thinking that HE had my back...only to find out he had already stabbed me in the back and was twisting the knife crying .

This morning when he hugged me before going to work...he THANKED me for being his wife. We do this every day...thank each other for something when we hug in the morning...but his tone just made me melt smile . I thanked him for letting me be his wife smile . I had my JOYOUS moment already this morning...and so far it is holding...Thank You God grin .

I am also very THANKFUL for y'all talking about y'alls different flowers blooming!! I have to look some of them up because we don't have some of them down here...and WOW...they are PRETTY!! It made me take a closer look at all of the crepe myrtles blooming right now smile . It seems that despite Ida ripping some of them apart...they are blooming even more beautiful than ever!! There is truly no better artist than God grin !!!

A "perfect marriage" is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other.

With God ALL things are possible (Matthew 19:26)

I AM happy again...It CAN happen!!!

From respect comes great love...sassylee

posts: 6188   ·   registered: Oct. 2nd, 2014   ·   location: Southeastern United States
id 8739324
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Tanner ( member #72235) posted at 5:59 PM on Thursday, June 9th, 2022

I’m thankful for a discovery I made a couple nights ago. I’m in A season and June is a hard month for me.

My W asked me to put her phone on the charger, on my nightstand.
(Don’t get me started on a rant about where her charger might be, I don’t ask anymore, but mine is never missing unless SHE TAKES IT)

When she fell asleep I decided to look through her phone, I don’t suspect anything but wanted to look at A season. I have a thread here about an anniversary card trigger and how fast she changed from loving and content to online wuv affair. When I went into her instagram messages I found one I hadn’t seen before or don’t remember. It was around the time she wrote the card and a guy was hitting on her and asking her to chat. He said do you have What’s AP? She said never heard of it. Can I get your number? Why? So I can keep you company. She said no thanks I’m married and don’t talk to other men.

I know she went into infidelity after that, but it was so refreshing to see her defend the M when no one was looking.

I also discovered she has had no other contact with her infidelity cheerleader, she has stayed NC.

With all the work she has put in and seeing those things, I’m feeling pretty good today.

Dday Sept 7 2019 doing well in R
BH M 31 years

posts: 1652   ·   registered: Dec. 5th, 2019   ·   location: Texas DFW
id 8739366
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MIgander ( member #71285) posted at 6:12 PM on Thursday, June 9th, 2022

Haha Tanner, I'm the same way about chargers. I get all mama-bear when someone absconds with one of mine (iPhone for work, android for personal). I have all my chargers at my workstation so I KNOW where they are at all times. Woe to the one who removes it!

I am thankful that I have an H who drives me to a doctor appointment and wants to just hang out and walk around after.

WW/BW Dday July 2019. BH/WH- multiple EA's. Back at it again- bantering w the younger woman. Lied about blocking phone calls and deleted texts. Carried on with her.

Nothing changes if nothing changes.

posts: 773   ·   registered: Aug. 15th, 2019   ·   location: Michigan
id 8739368
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This0is0Fine ( member #72277) posted at 7:20 PM on Thursday, June 9th, 2022

My younger son just got diagnosed with ASD 1. I'm thankful to have the resources to get that diagnosis and to have the right support system in place at home and in school to make sure he succeeds.

Love is not a measure of capacity for pain you are willing to endure for your partner.

posts: 2041   ·   registered: Dec. 11th, 2019
id 8739383
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 Want2BHappyAgain (original poster member #45088) posted at 2:58 PM on Thursday, June 16th, 2022

Happy Thankful Thursday y'all grin !!

This0is0Fine...that is great that y'all were able to get a diagnosis that will give y'all the tools y'all need...as well as the school...to help your child grin .

For TODAY...I am so THANKFUL that things are getting easier as A season is ramping up smile . Going through the google timeline over the last 7 A seasons has been a nice salve to ease the pain from the scar I got from 8 years ago. My gosh...we sure were adventurers during this time!!

We haven't been able to go on adventures like that this year because of family issues...but we still are going on adventures...in our community smile . It surprised us when we would talk to the locals on our trip to Chicago...for instance...to find out they only went to the Willis Tower (formerly the Sears Tower) when they were young kids...on field trips look . Then we started thinking about things that tourists come to NOLA for...and how WE haven't done those things in YEARS laugh . Isn't that weird?? We go to OTHER places to find things out...yet fail to ENJOY the things we have right in our own backyard.

The other day we went on a nature trail...near our house...that we have NEVER been to rolleyes . It was FUN...even though we encountered an alligator and a water moccasin along the path laugh . It was just a baby alligator...and they were both more afraid of us than we were of them...but it did make us very AWARE of our surroundings!! We also encountered several people along the path smile . When we got back to where the cars were parked...not a single car besides ours had a Louisiana license plate tongue ! Yep...tourists from other states were enjoying their adventure in our state laugh !!

I am looking forward to the NEXT adventure...even though I don't know where we will be going grin !!!

A "perfect marriage" is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other.

With God ALL things are possible (Matthew 19:26)

I AM happy again...It CAN happen!!!

From respect comes great love...sassylee

posts: 6188   ·   registered: Oct. 2nd, 2014   ·   location: Southeastern United States
id 8740447
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Tanner ( member #72235) posted at 5:07 AM on Friday, June 17th, 2022

It’s late I’m coming in under the wire. Had a great date night tonight. Our neighbors teenager sat with the boys and we went to see a tribute band to AC/DC. Wow we had a blast!!!

I’ve said before Thursday is my new Friday

Dday Sept 7 2019 doing well in R
BH M 31 years

posts: 1652   ·   registered: Dec. 5th, 2019   ·   location: Texas DFW
id 8740556
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 Want2BHappyAgain (original poster member #45088) posted at 3:58 PM on Thursday, June 23rd, 2022

HAPPY Thankful Thursday everyone!!!

I have been waiting for today to say I am sooooo Thankful to see another post in the "Positive Reconciliation Stories" thread...THANK YOU Hannah47 grin !!! That was an AWESOME post!!!

I am also THANKFUL that I can post emojis when using my phone...THANK YOU MangledHeart grin !!!

I have much more to be thankful for...but my grass needs cutting and it's only getting HOTTER outside laugh !!!

A "perfect marriage" is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other.

With God ALL things are possible (Matthew 19:26)

I AM happy again...It CAN happen!!!

From respect comes great love...sassylee

posts: 6188   ·   registered: Oct. 2nd, 2014   ·   location: Southeastern United States
id 8741541
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Tanner ( member #72235) posted at 5:35 PM on Thursday, June 23rd, 2022

I’m so thankful to bounce back from my medical scare, it really was a wake up call to how fragile our lives really are. I’ve mentioned before we are downsizing our lives, businesses and stress levels. It takes a lot of stress to get there but we have almost hit the finish line. I’m ready to live life and not have it run me.

We received a very joyful phone call Sunday, My W’s aunt had her kids taken away and adopted out separately almost 50 years ago. Over the past 4 years we have reunited with all but the baby. She reached out Sunday and we will be meeting soon. Although her Aunt had a difficult life and made terrible choices, when she was young, she died in a very successful stable life. She died with a broken heart, she always wanted to reunite with the kids but never found them.

Dday Sept 7 2019 doing well in R
BH M 31 years

posts: 1652   ·   registered: Dec. 5th, 2019   ·   location: Texas DFW
id 8741551
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FairyTaleGone ( member #79059) posted at 7:30 PM on Thursday, June 23rd, 2022

I'm not sure exactly why, but today I realized that I haven't had any "mind movies" recently. Like, I can't remember the last time I actually had one! I remember a time when I thought that this would just be my life forever, I am so happy to be healing and losing some of the worst parts of this journey!

DDay 1 - 2/19/21 (found out about EA)
DDay 2 - 5/22/21 (TT found burner phone)
DDay 3 - 6/9/21 (TT found out about PA)

EA/PA ended 3/22/21 -WH went NC
Working on R
13yr old DD at home - unfortunately knows way too much

posts: 111   ·   registered: Jul. 2nd, 2021
id 8741569
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This0is0Fine ( member #72277) posted at 7:30 PM on Thursday, June 23rd, 2022

I'm thankful for my mom, who will be watching my kids this weekend while I do basically whatever I feel like.

Love is not a measure of capacity for pain you are willing to endure for your partner.

posts: 2041   ·   registered: Dec. 11th, 2019
id 8741570
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emergent8 ( member #58189) posted at 10:15 PM on Thursday, June 23rd, 2022

I'm also thankful for my mom, who moved her schedule around and travelled for several hours (each way) to stay with us in order to help us out with childcare for my youngest this past week when her childcare provider tested positive for Covid over the weekend.

Also tentatively thankful that so far my daughter seems to have escaped a positive test herself **crosses fingers and toes**

Me: BS, Him: WS. Mid-late 30s.
Together 15 years, married 6 (11 m at D-Day).
D-Day: Feb 2017 (8 m PA with married COW).
5 years (and two toddlers) into R. Happy.

posts: 967   ·   registered: Apr. 7th, 2017
id 8741579
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 Want2BHappyAgain (original poster member #45088) posted at 2:38 PM on Thursday, June 30th, 2022

Another Thankful Thursday...and this one falls on the LAST day of June...Hallelujah!!! I made it y'all grin !!! June is the only month in my A season where my H and the adultery co-conspirator were in touch with each other EVERY day. This was a HUGE trigger for me...I HATE JUNE because of it. I guess I should say...I HATED JUNE...because THIS June was actually not bad at all smile .

I am SO thankful that this month is ending...and that I found JOY every day in this month...Thank You God grin !!!

A "perfect marriage" is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other.

With God ALL things are possible (Matthew 19:26)

I AM happy again...It CAN happen!!!

From respect comes great love...sassylee

posts: 6188   ·   registered: Oct. 2nd, 2014   ·   location: Southeastern United States
id 8742660
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This0is0Fine ( member #72277) posted at 3:52 PM on Thursday, June 30th, 2022

I'm thankful to join my kids at my mom's house this week. My wife will join us on Saturday.

I got to spend some time yesterday with my high school best friend. Unfortunately... it turns out he was recently in an affair. I'm not going to steal his story though. He may or may not register on this site, as I advised him to do.

It was otherwise good to catch up with him, and he was open to receiving my advice. I wish him the best of luck.

Love is not a measure of capacity for pain you are willing to endure for your partner.

posts: 2041   ·   registered: Dec. 11th, 2019
id 8742672
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MIgander ( member #71285) posted at 6:02 PM on Thursday, June 30th, 2022

I am thankful for beautiful weather for strawberry picking, being able to have a good 24hrs to myself with the kids going up north. A dog who snuggles me when I'm sleeping and wags her tail when napping. The ability to go berry picking up north in the morning and work in the afternoon in an area very remote but with cell service. For not having to be apart from my kids and family very long due to the new post-covid WFH ability. Many things to feel blessed over. For that alone, I'm thankful today.

And thanks to W2BHA for this thread! You're always so positive and motivational. smile

WW/BW Dday July 2019. BH/WH- multiple EA's. Back at it again- bantering w the younger woman. Lied about blocking phone calls and deleted texts. Carried on with her.

Nothing changes if nothing changes.

posts: 773   ·   registered: Aug. 15th, 2019   ·   location: Michigan
id 8742707
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Ladybugmaam ( member #69881) posted at 8:13 PM on Thursday, June 30th, 2022

My FWH heard me mention how I thought the dress that Ana de Armas wore in the last James Bond movie was beautiful.....I'd love to wear something like that....but I don't have anyplace to wear it.

He researched the movie.....found the designer who was in Australia.....waited for Australia to open from Covid......ordered the dress several months in advance so that I could open it on my birthday. And, then planned a special dinner and drinks with friends who are friends of our marriage and a night in a boutique hotel.

I finally felt like I WON:). It was SO over the top, he felt a little bit like my hero again.

[This message edited by Ladybugmaam at 8:18 PM, Thursday, June 30th]

EA DD 11/2018
PA DD 2/25/19
One teen son
I am a phoenix.

posts: 255   ·   registered: Feb. 26th, 2019
id 8742735
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Tanner ( member #72235) posted at 8:24 PM on Thursday, June 30th, 2022

Today is a major antiversary, the day my WW went out on a GNO left the bar with a stranger had a ONS then started a 2 month PA with him.

I am thankful for restoration and healing. I’m doing well today and W has been so attentive to me. We are going to make this a great day!! If not for my friend and Cuz W2BHA I would probably be wallowing in anger and sadness, but we are going to make great memories on this date. Believe me when I say we are going to that bar soon, so I can show her what it’s like to leave with a real man 😀💪

Dday Sept 7 2019 doing well in R
BH M 31 years

posts: 1652   ·   registered: Dec. 5th, 2019   ·   location: Texas DFW
id 8742739
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