Newest Member: Chickenhawk

I Can Relate :
Betrayed Menz Thread - Part 34

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Tanner ( member #72235) posted at 6:19 PM on Tuesday, March 17th, 2020

Tanner, what's the feeling under the thoughts of an RA? If you get to the feeling, you can express it directly.

Its a feeling of now that I have lost 50lbs and in the best shape of my life, I would like my ego kibbles. Really this feeling has already passed it was just a few days around our Anniversary, part of that roller coaster ride. I have a remorseful W and grown kids in relationships, I would never do this to them.

[This message edited by Tanner at 12:26 PM, March 17th (Tuesday)]

Dday Sept 7 2019 working toward R
BH 54
WW 47
M 30 years, 4 kids 2 grown, twin boys 12 yo 2 grandkids

One day you will tell your story how you overcame what you are going through now, and it will become part of someone else’s survival guide.

posts: 776   ·   registered: Dec. 5th, 2019   ·   location: Texas DFW
id 8524318
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tbkjcn ( member #44744) posted at 7:45 PM on Tuesday, March 17th, 2020

the one I bought was maybe $60 or so and it took about 15 minutes to install.

Now when I think of a bidet, I am thinking of a separate fixture like they had when I lived in Europe for a while back in the mid-80's. How do the attachment ones do? Don't you still have to run a hot water line to it? cuz otherwise, Brrrrr...

So the shop called today, after disassembling the dash and pulling the gauge cluster, they determined the relay they thought last night was definitely the issue, was not. Now they suspect the switch itself, which I thought they had already eliminated. $200 for the switch. I asked them to replace all the LCD backlights and all the other bulbs in the dash and cluster, since it was all out. They came back with a cost of $250 plus an extra hour labor. Just for the bulbs. Guess I will just replace the burned out ones

Me: BH 49 (then)
Her: WW 48 (then)
D-Day 8-30-14 3 yr LTA and 1 ONS (9-1-14 the rest of the story, she can't remember how many men)
Divorce filed 1/14/15, final 4/7/15
Married 23 years together 28

posts: 662   ·   registered: Sep. 3rd, 2014   ·   location: IL
id 8524343
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HeartFullOfHoles ( member #42874) posted at 8:10 PM on Tuesday, March 17th, 2020

You need to make sure they are not double counting because they like to do that. We are doing task A, B and C today each has their billable hours calculated as if each is being done separately, but in aggregate they may have a huge amount of commonality. A good shop will try and be fair and account for this commonality, but it's also not uncommon for a good mechanic to bill many more hours than actually worked.

The water in both my main bathrooms is really cold for a while so I need something a bit more complicated then just connecting to the existing hot water line. The heaters are in the middle of the house and the bathrooms are on each end. I don't mind washing my hands with colder water, but just no for anything more sensitive .

BH - Tried to R for too long, now happily divorced
D-Day 4/28-29/2012 (both 48 at the time)
Two adult daughters

posts: 674   ·   registered: Mar. 24th, 2014
id 8524350
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TheLostOne2020 ( member #72463) posted at 8:21 PM on Tuesday, March 17th, 2020

tbkjcn

Now when I think of a bidet, I am thinking of a separate fixture like they had when I lived in Europe for a while back in the mid-80's. How do the attachment ones do? Don't you still have to run a hot water line to it? cuz otherwise, Brrrrr...

Right now I'm trying to remember what I had to do; there wasn't a separate fixture if I remember correctly - you attach it to above where you turn off the water. The one I have is cold water, but it's not too bad. They have hot water ones too.

D-Day 1: New Year's Day 2020
D-Day 2: Jan 21 2020
There was no D-Day 3.

6/12/2020: Moved out.

3/02/2021: Officially divorced.

I'm 42 and just starting to have the answers to the universe...

posts: 892   ·   registered: Jan. 3rd, 2020   ·   location: NoVa
id 8524353
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tbkjcn ( member #44744) posted at 10:56 PM on Tuesday, March 17th, 2020

You need to make sure they are not double counting

Went after work to look over the work, and had a chat with them about where we were going. Said while I understand troubleshooting isn't an exact science, I wasn't totally comfortable paying for wrong guesses. We settled on 3 hours labor for the whole job, plus an hour to disassemble the gauge cluster to replace the backlight bulbs. Really wish I could do the LED conversion on it, but that's not feasible.

The water in both my main bathrooms is really cold

Same here. especially the sink.

The one I have is cold water, but it's not too bad.

One time I measured the cold water temp out of the faucet, It was like 57 degrees. Which is great for a cold drink of water, but you go squirting that up my butt, there's gonna be some reflex reaction that's going to hurt anyone nearby.....

Me: BH 49 (then)
Her: WW 48 (then)
D-Day 8-30-14 3 yr LTA and 1 ONS (9-1-14 the rest of the story, she can't remember how many men)
Divorce filed 1/14/15, final 4/7/15
Married 23 years together 28

posts: 662   ·   registered: Sep. 3rd, 2014   ·   location: IL
id 8524401
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HeartFullOfHoles ( member #42874) posted at 1:48 AM on Wednesday, March 18th, 2020

Now I'm going to have to find my old mercury thermometer I swear some mornings it's way colder than that. I think this is a when I remodel addition. Temperature control just sounds like a good thing and I doubt that's an easy retrofit.

BH - Tried to R for too long, now happily divorced
D-Day 4/28-29/2012 (both 48 at the time)
Two adult daughters

posts: 674   ·   registered: Mar. 24th, 2014
id 8524454
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TheLostOne2020 ( member #72463) posted at 12:47 PM on Wednesday, March 18th, 2020

tbkjcn

One time I measured the cold water temp out of the faucet, It was like 57 degrees. Which is great for a cold drink of water, but you go squirting that up my butt, there's gonna be some reflex reaction that's going to hurt anyone nearby.....

Lol, it's really not that bad - there's a pressure control so you can make sure that only a little comes out at a time, then you can get acclimated.

D-Day 1: New Year's Day 2020
D-Day 2: Jan 21 2020
There was no D-Day 3.

6/12/2020: Moved out.

3/02/2021: Officially divorced.

I'm 42 and just starting to have the answers to the universe...

posts: 892   ·   registered: Jan. 3rd, 2020   ·   location: NoVa
id 8524499
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sisoon ( Guide #31240) posted at 8:21 PM on Wednesday, March 18th, 2020

but you go squirting that up my butt, there's gonna be some reflex reaction that's going to hurt anyone nearby.....

Hmm ... I can understand worrying about hitting my head on the ceiling, but anyone nearby...not so much....

If you fall in love with a bicycle, it's likely to be cheaper than falling in love with a car.

fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex ap
DDay - 12/22/2010
Recover'd and R'ed
You don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.

posts: 26163   ·   registered: Feb. 18th, 2011   ·   location: Illinois
id 8524610
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newparadigm ( member #58464) posted at 9:09 PM on Thursday, March 19th, 2020

I have one of those toilet set bidets. I don't like having to use a toilet without it any more.

Mine heats the water before jetting you. I have not used one that has cold water.

It sure makes things feel clean! Highly recommended. AND the need for toilet paper is drastically diminished.

Me: BH
Her: fWW
Married: 31 years, 3 adult children
DDay: December, 2015 Gaslighting
and TT until...
Finally Admitted To A: February 27, 2016
Current status: In R

posts: 132   ·   registered: Apr. 27th, 2017
id 8524813
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HeartFullOfHoles ( member #42874) posted at 3:19 PM on Saturday, March 21st, 2020

Heated, now that sounds nice!

BH - Tried to R for too long, now happily divorced
D-Day 4/28-29/2012 (both 48 at the time)
Two adult daughters

posts: 674   ·   registered: Mar. 24th, 2014
id 8525264
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TheLostOne2020 ( member #72463) posted at 4:38 PM on Sunday, March 22nd, 2020

I think either way it's a good investment. I feel cleaner than every after using them.

D-Day 1: New Year's Day 2020
D-Day 2: Jan 21 2020
There was no D-Day 3.

6/12/2020: Moved out.

3/02/2021: Officially divorced.

I'm 42 and just starting to have the answers to the universe...

posts: 892   ·   registered: Jan. 3rd, 2020   ·   location: NoVa
id 8525476
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LosferWords ( member #30369) posted at 10:10 PM on Sunday, March 22nd, 2020

If you fall in love with a bicycle, it's likely to be cheaper than falling in love with a car.

Sage advice, sisoon. I keep meaning to get back on my mountain bike. It's great exercise, and a good stress reliever. I think I may start doing that again soon to relieve my depression.

posts: 31092   ·   registered: Dec. 11th, 2010
id 8525567
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tbkjcn ( member #44744) posted at 10:56 PM on Sunday, March 22nd, 2020

it's likely to be cheaper than falling in love with a car.

I suppose that's very true. And it would probably be better for my health. Although, it looks like it will be a while before I could use either..... BTW, glad you like the powder coat on yours....

but anyone nearby...not so much....

Yeah, poor choice of words on my part, I spect. With the dogs gone now, I don't usually have an audience these days while I poop.

AND the need for toilet paper is drastically diminished.

Well, a definite plus in this day and age. It took me five days and about 200 miles of driving around last week, I was down to my last quarter-roll by the time I found some Wednesday.

Went out Saturday to replenish a few perishables. Meat, milk, bread. I didn't think I was asking much, but again, had to go to four stores before I found one with ANY of those (and we won't talk about canned goods, frozen goods, dry goods, etc). And they had rationing limits. 2lbs of meat, 2 bread products and 2 dairy products. I never expected to see people standing in line for rationed meat and bread in this country.... The liquor store was very well stocked, however. I did have to substitute my usual Moscato with another one (which was very good, I'll have to put it on my list), but my usual Riesling still had plenty left.

Mine heats the water before jetting you.

I would say that's a good place to start with a list of pre-requisites.

Me: BH 49 (then)
Her: WW 48 (then)
D-Day 8-30-14 3 yr LTA and 1 ONS (9-1-14 the rest of the story, she can't remember how many men)
Divorce filed 1/14/15, final 4/7/15
Married 23 years together 28

posts: 662   ·   registered: Sep. 3rd, 2014   ·   location: IL
id 8525573
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Mr. Kite ( member #28840) posted at 3:08 AM on Monday, March 23rd, 2020

Went grocery shopping with the wife the other day at a local Walmart. It was interesting that there were plenty of vegetables and fruit and the health aisle was fully stocked. My wife and I have been vegetarians for many years so we're not being deprived of anything. It seems that people are mostly stocking up on packaged and canned foods and toilet paper of course.

Btw it seems that Hank, the rescue Beagle, is not a fan of my guitar playing. Every time I bring out my Van Halen Wolfgang electric, he backs up, runs around in circles and howls and growls.

Hope you are all healthy, safe and secure during this quarantine.

I can't tell you what to do, but I can tell you what not to do.

posts: 1115   ·   registered: Jun. 18th, 2010   ·   location: Mid-Atlantic
id 8525605
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steadychevy ( member #42608) posted at 12:32 PM on Monday, March 23rd, 2020

Bike. 15 kilometres of gravel to post office, 55 kilometres to grocery store/doctor/machinery parts/feed store/veterinarian. Stock trailer to haul 10 cows or 16 weaned calves at a time. I think I'll stick with my truck.

I'm pretty self sufficient. I have 20 hens that lay eggs, grass finished (home raised) beef in the freezer, I've bought chicken/pork/salmon in the freezer. What I don't have in ready supply is fresh fruit and milk. I'm probably good until into April with toilet paper. Since I live in the far north it's trucked in.

The toilet paper is made in Canada. Locally produced. The pulp mill is double shifting to produce more. People are still keeping the shelves bare. I think pretty soon they will run out of money or storage space and I'll get what I need.

We have dairy farms here. The cows get milked twice a day with some dairies at 3 times/day. The milk doesn't get thrown out. We are not going to run out of milk but people are lined up to buy it and the coolers are empty. Where the hell are they putting it? You can't store it in a closet. If you are concerned about not having any buy powdered then hold your nose when you drink it. Best milk is full fat right out of a bulk tank. You can't buy it though or the health department will fine the dairy heavily and put them out of business.

I'm pretty isolated. Closest neighbour is a quarter mile away. Next one is a mile and a quarter. I went to town last Tuesday but forgot to buy chicken feed at the feed mill so I have to go back today so I'll do some grocery shopping for me, too. I bought cat food and mineral for the cattle but forgot about the laying hen feed. Damn.

I've been in contact with 2 people since last Tuesday, my cattle, chickens, cats and dog daily.

Stay well, everyone. Isolate when you can.

BH(me)70; XWW 64; M 42 yrs
DDay1-01/09/13;DDay2-26/10/13;DDay3-19/12/13;DDay4-21/01/14
LTA-09/02-06/06? OM - COW
"dates" w/3 lovers post engagement;ONS w/stranger post commitment, lies, lies, lies
Separated 23/09/2017; D 16/03/2020

posts: 4679   ·   registered: Feb. 27th, 2014   ·   location: Canada
id 8525667
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sisoon ( Guide #31240) posted at 6:36 PM on Monday, March 23rd, 2020

I used 'senior' hours for shopping at Whole Foods, where we get some of our stuff. Our other main supermarket has senior hours Tuesday and Thursday, so I'll probably go tomorrow AM. We have some food, but the fridge looks pretty bare. People are surprised if I tell them my age, but they didn't card me, so I guess I look old.

W may have mono - at least she has a lot of the symptoms. We're staying in.

I'm putting my bike back together in the expectation of testing my reassembly on my trainer this afternoon or tomorrow morning and riding on the road Wednesday, when the thermometer is supposed to hit the ow 50s. I really like the new color.

W attended religious services via zoom. Not my cup of tea, though.

fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex ap
DDay - 12/22/2010
Recover'd and R'ed
You don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.

posts: 26163   ·   registered: Feb. 18th, 2011   ·   location: Illinois
id 8525773
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CharliB ( member #59007) posted at 2:48 AM on Wednesday, March 25th, 2020

Betrayed Men only

[This message edited by SI Staff at 1:04 PM, March 25th (Wednesday)]

The truth doesn't cost you anything but a lie could cost you everything

posts: 718   ·   registered: May. 31st, 2017
id 8526126
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steadychevy ( member #42608) posted at 11:27 AM on Wednesday, March 25th, 2020

Gentlemen, our clubhouse has been infiltrated.

Yeah, I know CharliB. One daughter has 5 kids and are a long way from any store. They have over 500 cows but none you'd want to try to milk. She always has frozen milk in the freezer to fill gaps between trips to town in busier seasons.

Most of the people buying milk don't have freezers other than with their fridge or quite small ones. The point is there is no panic because the cows haven't gone dry. They are producing the same amount of milk everyday as they were before covid19. The system isn't shut down.

BH(me)70; XWW 64; M 42 yrs
DDay1-01/09/13;DDay2-26/10/13;DDay3-19/12/13;DDay4-21/01/14
LTA-09/02-06/06? OM - COW
"dates" w/3 lovers post engagement;ONS w/stranger post commitment, lies, lies, lies
Separated 23/09/2017; D 16/03/2020

posts: 4679   ·   registered: Feb. 27th, 2014   ·   location: Canada
id 8526181
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CharliB ( member #59007) posted at 2:34 PM on Wednesday, March 25th, 2020

Betrayed Men Only

[This message edited by SI Staff at 1:04 PM, March 25th (Wednesday)]

The truth doesn't cost you anything but a lie could cost you everything

posts: 718   ·   registered: May. 31st, 2017
id 8526203
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Incarnate ( member #46085) posted at 6:37 PM on Thursday, March 26th, 2020

AAAH COOTIES

lol

It's been an interesting/stressful two weeks with no school for the kids. I have stopped going to work because, as a diabetic, I am at heightened risk, and, well, fuck that noise. I go out twice a week to pick up my low/zero carb meals and staples, other than that, I'm sheltering in place.

My ex had an upper respiratory infection that they say wasn't COVID, so I'm hoping they're right. They're refusing to test most people around here. My grandfather was hospitalized with a lung infection, and they refused to test him. They released him a few days ago.

I've applied for temporary unemployment, and haven't heard anything back, which is unsurprising considering the HUGE influx of claims.

But, we have food, we have toilet paper, we have water, and I've only killed most of one bottle of whiskey, so I think we'll be okay. Bills are paid and I have a little chunk of change I'm sitting on to weather the shutdown. I'll stay home until Shelter in Place has been lifted and the kids go back to school.

How is everyone else faring?

[This message edited by Incarnate at 12:38 PM, March 26th (Thursday)]

Me: BH
She: EW
Divorce in progress
DD1: 11/29/14
DD2: 8/14/19

What a wicked game we play.

posts: 768   ·   registered: Dec. 26th, 2014   ·   location: Northern California
id 8526629
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