Newest Member: Chickenhawk

Just Found Out :
Another Great Post for Newbies to read

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Jpapageorge ( member #31800) posted at 12:27 AM on Sunday, March 8th, 2015

Bump.

"Either get busy livin' or get busy dyin'." (and I prefer to live)
"Shame on me for kissing you with my eyes closed."
Spectemur agendo.
Me: FBBF

posts: 2016   ·   registered: Apr. 8th, 2011   ·   location: California
id 7142557
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oldtimer97 ( member #2365) posted at 5:59 PM on Friday, March 20th, 2015

bump

“When someone shows you who they are believe them; the first time.”
― Maya Angelou

To save a marriage, you must be willing to lose the marriage.

posts: 3420   ·   registered: Oct. 7th, 2003   ·   location: Sunny Arizona
id 7157529
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 mchercheur (original poster member #37735) posted at 8:40 PM on Friday, March 27th, 2015

BUMP

Me: BWHim: WH --Had 10 mo. EA/ PA with COW; Dday 5/2011Married 31+ years/Together 32+ years/4 kids togetherOW 20 years younger than us/divorced no kidsTrying to R; don't know what the final outcome will be

posts: 2685   ·   registered: Dec. 7th, 2012
id 7166230
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hshbmom ( member #47307) posted at 7:20 PM on Saturday, March 28th, 2015

Thank you for this

posts: 75   ·   registered: Mar. 24th, 2015
id 7167211
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yearsofpain25 ( member #42012) posted at 10:01 PM on Thursday, April 2nd, 2015

bump

"I remind myself of this. I am a survivor. I have taken all this world has dished out and am still here. So there is no reason to be afraid. Whatever happens, I will survive. So now onto living. It is time for me to thrive." - DrJekyll

posts: 4517   ·   registered: Jan. 11th, 2014   ·   location: Northeast US
id 7173702
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mendingme ( member #47403) posted at 10:31 PM on Thursday, April 2nd, 2015

Thank you for this well thought out and well written post. My DDay was 6 months ago and I have just been lurking up until now. We have been actively engaged in IC and MC and H is working very hard on his issues. It took about 5 months and I had a revelation that it really his HIS work and my job is to strengthen myself! I feel as though I'm remembering what I am made of and it feels good. Giving up a bit of control feels good also. Will he cheat again? Who knows, but now I am prepared (thanks in part to SI) with strong boundaries and I know my deal breakers. I also am pursuing a masters degree at this point because I want to feel secure in knowing I could support myself. Lots of changes around here

Me:BS, 46
Him: WH, 50
DDay: 10/31/14 2 1/2 year affair
Married 24 years, 3 Awesome kids
Trying to reconcile

posts: 105   ·   registered: Apr. 2nd, 2015   ·   location: midwest
id 7173734
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 mchercheur (original poster member #37735) posted at 8:23 PM on Saturday, April 25th, 2015

BUMP

Me: BWHim: WH --Had 10 mo. EA/ PA with COW; Dday 5/2011Married 31+ years/Together 32+ years/4 kids togetherOW 20 years younger than us/divorced no kidsTrying to R; don't know what the final outcome will be

posts: 2685   ·   registered: Dec. 7th, 2012
id 7200375
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letdownandlonely ( member #47125) posted at 1:36 AM on Sunday, April 26th, 2015

Many thanks for sharing.

Me BSO 52
Him ?
1 4+ yr LTA PA EA, 3 OP PA porn, cams, Sites.
You can't live in two places at once. - Buck Brannaman.

posts: 293   ·   registered: Mar. 11th, 2015   ·   location: UK
id 7200531
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1moretess ( member #47635) posted at 2:06 AM on Sunday, April 26th, 2015

Thank you so much for a words or wisdom and for all your research and sharing with us newbies a sorta heads up. I'm so happy to find this site, and can relate to so many of the personal struggles we BS go through. I hope some day to be like you and some how pay it all forward. Until then lurking and replying when I can. Thank you once again.

Never push a loyal person to the point where they no longer care.
ME 44 BS together 18 years
Him 55 stbx (a abusive narcissist in every form.)

posts: 144   ·   registered: Apr. 23rd, 2015   ·   location: One Level Up from Batshit Crazy
id 7200541
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Jpapageorge ( member #31800) posted at 8:20 AM on Monday, May 4th, 2015

Bump.

"Either get busy livin' or get busy dyin'." (and I prefer to live)
"Shame on me for kissing you with my eyes closed."
Spectemur agendo.
Me: FBBF

posts: 2016   ·   registered: Apr. 8th, 2011   ·   location: California
id 7208753
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 mchercheur (original poster member #37735) posted at 3:13 PM on Sunday, May 10th, 2015

Bump for Briseis

Me: BWHim: WH --Had 10 mo. EA/ PA with COW; Dday 5/2011Married 31+ years/Together 32+ years/4 kids togetherOW 20 years younger than us/divorced no kidsTrying to R; don't know what the final outcome will be

posts: 2685   ·   registered: Dec. 7th, 2012
id 7215607
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Laura215 ( member #47820) posted at 3:17 PM on Sunday, May 10th, 2015

This is vital information for all BS trying to sift through our emotions and options. We didn't choose this situation but we definitely have choices to make for our futures. In my opinion, the damage is permanent but we must go on as best we can.

BW -- me

posts: 195   ·   registered: May. 9th, 2015
id 7215611
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yearsofpain25 ( member #42012) posted at 8:29 PM on Wednesday, May 20th, 2015

bump

"I remind myself of this. I am a survivor. I have taken all this world has dished out and am still here. So there is no reason to be afraid. Whatever happens, I will survive. So now onto living. It is time for me to thrive." - DrJekyll

posts: 4517   ·   registered: Jan. 11th, 2014   ·   location: Northeast US
id 7226545
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Jpapageorge ( member #31800) posted at 9:24 AM on Saturday, June 6th, 2015

Bump.

"Either get busy livin' or get busy dyin'." (and I prefer to live)
"Shame on me for kissing you with my eyes closed."
Spectemur agendo.
Me: FBBF

posts: 2016   ·   registered: Apr. 8th, 2011   ·   location: California
id 7244520
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Jpapageorge ( member #31800) posted at 10:23 AM on Saturday, July 4th, 2015

Bump.

"Either get busy livin' or get busy dyin'." (and I prefer to live)
"Shame on me for kissing you with my eyes closed."
Spectemur agendo.
Me: FBBF

posts: 2016   ·   registered: Apr. 8th, 2011   ·   location: California
id 7272854
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yearsofpain25 ( member #42012) posted at 8:17 PM on Friday, August 14th, 2015

bump

"I remind myself of this. I am a survivor. I have taken all this world has dished out and am still here. So there is no reason to be afraid. Whatever happens, I will survive. So now onto living. It is time for me to thrive." - DrJekyll

posts: 4517   ·   registered: Jan. 11th, 2014   ·   location: Northeast US
id 7314690
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StillLivin ( member #40229) posted at 5:33 AM on Tuesday, August 25th, 2015

Bump

"Bitch please a good man can't be stolen." ROFLMAO - SBB
D: 7/2/2014

posts: 5955   ·   registered: Aug. 8th, 2013   ·   location: AZ
id 7325803
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 mchercheur (original poster member #37735) posted at 3:01 PM on Sunday, September 6th, 2015

BUMP

Me: BWHim: WH --Had 10 mo. EA/ PA with COW; Dday 5/2011Married 31+ years/Together 32+ years/4 kids togetherOW 20 years younger than us/divorced no kidsTrying to R; don't know what the final outcome will be

posts: 2685   ·   registered: Dec. 7th, 2012
id 7338409
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SpinDoctorsHusband ( member #49206) posted at 3:39 AM on Monday, September 7th, 2015

Excellent.

Failure is always an option.

posts: 77   ·   registered: Aug. 24th, 2015
id 7338840
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bw900 ( member #47732) posted at 8:14 AM on Tuesday, September 8th, 2015

Great post. Close to 8 months and still struggling. How could I cry so many tears? This post is an excellent summary.

Me: BW 65 (59 at dday)<BR />WH: 66 (60 at dday) <BR />DD Wint 2015, EA/PA 1.25 year COW<BR />M 28 (23 1/2 at dday), 4 grown kids <BR />Reconciling, which is not easy! Still Grieving what I thought our M was

posts: 263   ·   registered: May. 1st, 2015   ·   location: USA
id 7339665
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