Newest Member: girlangry89

Just Found Out :
Another Great Post for Newbies to read

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minusone ( Member #50175) posted at 2:37 PM on Sunday, April 3rd, 2016

bump

"I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better". Maya Angelou

posts: 8353   ·   registered: Nov. 2nd, 2015   ·   location: USA
id 7519777
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theDrifter ( Member #48361) posted at 12:09 AM on Monday, April 4th, 2016

Great original post and lots of wisdom in this thread. All experienced BS' s want newbies to understand the hard truths within this thread. There is a problem with this in that most of them won't absorb those things that they don't want to believe. They won't ignore them - they won't even see them. I've been in MC when the counselor spent 45 minutes going over things my wife wasn't acknowledging and things to do so she could learn more empathy. The counselor might tell me to make time for date night and, when we got in the car, my wife would start out with the "see? You're not trying hard enough". She literally did not hear/absorb a single thing the counselor said to her. She couldn't hear what she wasn't ready for.

So - newbies need to read this thread over and over to absorb the knowledge and wisdom contained in it.

ME 62 BH
Her 60 WW

We remain unhappily married.

posts: 302   ·   registered: Jun. 23rd, 2015   ·   location: Minneapolis
id 7520120
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Lovingmyselfmore ( Member #46119) posted at 12:16 AM on Saturday, April 23rd, 2016

bumping

dday: september-12-2014
Me: 42 EX: 46 gay or bisexual (go figure!) together: 12 years
Dday to 3 months: suicidal 1 year after: huge depression- 1.5 years still kind of depressed-Took me 2.5 years to be kind of happy again

posts: 1076   ·   registered: Dec. 29th, 2014
id 7536607
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iheartWA ( New Member #52356) posted at 3:54 PM on Tuesday, April 26th, 2016

This original post is amazing. Just what I needed today.

Me: BW.
Him: XWH. Asked for divorce, said he was in love with OW, moved in with her that night. No chance for R.
OW: An (ex) best friend of mine. I was helping plan her wedding.
DDay: Feb 26, 2016
Divorced: May 10, 2016

posts: 48   ·   registered: Mar. 21st, 2016   ·   location: Pensacola, FL
id 7539322
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minusone ( Member #50175) posted at 3:27 AM on Tuesday, May 3rd, 2016

Bump

"I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better". Maya Angelou

posts: 8353   ·   registered: Nov. 2nd, 2015   ·   location: USA
id 7545468
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mccloud ( Member #52604) posted at 4:33 AM on Tuesday, May 3rd, 2016

Wow! This was well written and a slap in my face. I am truly leaning towards leaving and getting on with my life. Thanks.

Together 8 years. Dday #1 3-18-16 Dday #2 3-21-16 It is almost 3 years since D-day. And I am Not better. I am not over it. I am not back the way I was. I am still So broken. So lost. So hurt. I still can't understand why he was so horrible

posts: 652   ·   registered: Apr. 5th, 2016   ·   location: Houston, Texas
id 7545520
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 mchercheur (original poster Member #37735) posted at 10:37 PM on Thursday, May 5th, 2016

BUMP

Me: BWHim: WH --Had 10 mo. EA/ PA with COW; Dday 5/2011Married 31+ years/Together 32+ years/4 kids togetherOW 20 years younger than us/divorced no kidsTrying to R; don't know what the final outcome will be

posts: 2685   ·   registered: Dec. 7th, 2012
id 7548362
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minusone ( Member #50175) posted at 3:06 AM on Thursday, May 12th, 2016

bump

"I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better". Maya Angelou

posts: 8353   ·   registered: Nov. 2nd, 2015   ·   location: USA
id 7554255
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minusone ( Member #50175) posted at 11:39 AM on Thursday, May 26th, 2016

bump

"I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better". Maya Angelou

posts: 8353   ·   registered: Nov. 2nd, 2015   ·   location: USA
id 7566212
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1brokengirl ( Member #53324) posted at 1:21 PM on Saturday, May 28th, 2016

Love this post. Thank u for putting things clearly & with diff scenarios to think about. ☺

Let there be light at the end of the tunnel. I think i can see it

posts: 193   ·   registered: May. 22nd, 2016   ·   location: Australia
id 7568178
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minusone ( Member #50175) posted at 10:58 PM on Friday, June 3rd, 2016

bump

"I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better". Maya Angelou

posts: 8353   ·   registered: Nov. 2nd, 2015   ·   location: USA
id 7573460
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BrokenheartedUK ( Member #43520) posted at 4:32 PM on Saturday, June 4th, 2016

bump

Me: BS
He cheated and then lied. Apparently cheaters lie. Huh. 13 months of false R. Divorced! 8/16 3 teenage kids
"The barn's burnt down
Now
I can see the moon"
-Mizuta Masahide

posts: 3337   ·   registered: May. 24th, 2014
id 7573832
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BlackRose ( New Member #52900) posted at 4:02 PM on Sunday, June 5th, 2016

Wow, well put! Thanks for sharing!

posts: 9   ·   registered: Apr. 23rd, 2016   ·   location: Illinois
id 7574453
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 mchercheur (original poster Member #37735) posted at 4:36 PM on Sunday, June 5th, 2016

I just wanted to point out again that Nomadlady wrote this original thread. I thought it was absolutely one of the best threads I have ever read on this site. It helped me so much----thank you for writing it Nomadlady. I only wished that I had read it on Dday---perhaps I would have done things differently.

It even helps to re-read it from time to time, to re-evaluate the decisions I made.

The original thread was posted in General, so all I did was copy & paste it into the JFO forum, so that newbies would see it right away.

[This message edited by mchercheur at 10:53 AM, June 5th (Sunday)]

Me: BWHim: WH --Had 10 mo. EA/ PA with COW; Dday 5/2011Married 31+ years/Together 32+ years/4 kids togetherOW 20 years younger than us/divorced no kidsTrying to R; don't know what the final outcome will be

posts: 2685   ·   registered: Dec. 7th, 2012
id 7574472
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Lyonesse ( Member #32943) posted at 1:40 AM on Wednesday, June 8th, 2016

bump for newbies

Me: BS, 40's.

posts: 1956   ·   registered: Jul. 29th, 2011   ·   location: West Coast
id 7576627
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minusone ( Member #50175) posted at 6:39 PM on Wednesday, June 15th, 2016

bump

"I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better". Maya Angelou

posts: 8353   ·   registered: Nov. 2nd, 2015   ·   location: USA
id 7582951
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 mchercheur (original poster Member #37735) posted at 4:21 AM on Thursday, June 16th, 2016

BUMP

Me: BWHim: WH --Had 10 mo. EA/ PA with COW; Dday 5/2011Married 31+ years/Together 32+ years/4 kids togetherOW 20 years younger than us/divorced no kidsTrying to R; don't know what the final outcome will be

posts: 2685   ·   registered: Dec. 7th, 2012
id 7583452
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 mchercheur (original poster Member #37735) posted at 3:15 AM on Friday, June 17th, 2016

BUMP

Me: BWHim: WH --Had 10 mo. EA/ PA with COW; Dday 5/2011Married 31+ years/Together 32+ years/4 kids togetherOW 20 years younger than us/divorced no kidsTrying to R; don't know what the final outcome will be

posts: 2685   ·   registered: Dec. 7th, 2012
id 7584379
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minusone ( Member #50175) posted at 12:26 PM on Wednesday, June 22nd, 2016

bump

"I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better". Maya Angelou

posts: 8353   ·   registered: Nov. 2nd, 2015   ·   location: USA
id 7588372
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 mchercheur (original poster Member #37735) posted at 8:13 PM on Wednesday, June 22nd, 2016

BUMP

Me: BWHim: WH --Had 10 mo. EA/ PA with COW; Dday 5/2011Married 31+ years/Together 32+ years/4 kids togetherOW 20 years younger than us/divorced no kidsTrying to R; don't know what the final outcome will be

posts: 2685   ·   registered: Dec. 7th, 2012
id 7588806
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