minusone ( member #50175) posted at 2:37 PM on Sunday, April 3rd, 2016
"I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better". Maya Angelou
theDrifter ( member #48361) posted at 12:09 AM on Monday, April 4th, 2016
Great original post and lots of wisdom in this thread. All experienced BS' s want newbies to understand the hard truths within this thread. There is a problem with this in that most of them won't absorb those things that they don't want to believe. They won't ignore them - they won't even see them. I've been in MC when the counselor spent 45 minutes going over things my wife wasn't acknowledging and things to do so she could learn more empathy. The counselor might tell me to make time for date night and, when we got in the car, my wife would start out with the "see? You're not trying hard enough". She literally did not hear/absorb a single thing the counselor said to her. She couldn't hear what she wasn't ready for.
So - newbies need to read this thread over and over to absorb the knowledge and wisdom contained in it.
ME 70 BH
Her 69 WW
We remain unhappily married.
Lovingmyselfmore ( member #46119) posted at 12:16 AM on Saturday, April 23rd, 2016
dday: september-12-2014
Me: 42 EX: 46 gay or bisexual (go figure!) together: 12 years
Dday to 3 months: suicidal 1 year after: huge depression- 1.5 years still kind of depressed-Took me 2.5 years to be kind of happy again
iheartWA ( new member #52356) posted at 3:54 PM on Tuesday, April 26th, 2016
This original post is amazing. Just what I needed today.
Me: BW.
Him: XWH. Asked for divorce, said he was in love with OW, moved in with her that night. No chance for R.
OW: An (ex) best friend of mine. I was helping plan her wedding.
DDay: Feb 26, 2016
Divorced: May 10, 2016
minusone ( member #50175) posted at 3:27 AM on Tuesday, May 3rd, 2016
"I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better". Maya Angelou
mccloud ( member #52604) posted at 4:33 AM on Tuesday, May 3rd, 2016
Wow! This was well written and a slap in my face. I am truly leaning towards leaving and getting on with my life. Thanks. 
Together 8 years. Dday #1 3-18-16 Dday #2 3-21-16 It is almost 3 years since D-day. And I am Not better. I am not over it. I am not back the way I was. I am still So broken. So lost. So hurt. I still can't understand why he was so horrible
mchercheur (original poster member #37735) posted at 10:37 PM on Thursday, May 5th, 2016
Me: BW; Him: WH --Had 10 mo. EA/ PA with COW; Dday 5/2011 Married 34 years/Together 35 years/4 kids together, and 1 grandbaby; OW 20 years younger than us/divorced no kids Trying to R; don't know what the final outcome will be
minusone ( member #50175) posted at 3:06 AM on Thursday, May 12th, 2016
"I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better". Maya Angelou
minusone ( member #50175) posted at 11:39 AM on Thursday, May 26th, 2016
"I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better". Maya Angelou
1brokengirl ( member #53324) posted at 1:21 PM on Saturday, May 28th, 2016
Love this post. Thank u for putting things clearly & with diff scenarios to think about. ☺
Let there be light at the end of the tunnel. I think i can see it
minusone ( member #50175) posted at 10:58 PM on Friday, June 3rd, 2016
"I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better". Maya Angelou
BrokenheartedUK ( member #43520) posted at 4:32 PM on Saturday, June 4th, 2016
Me: BS
He cheated and then lied. Apparently cheaters lie. Huh. 13 months of false R. Divorced! 8/16 3 teenage kids
"The barn's burnt down
Now
I can see the moon"
-Mizuta Masahide
BlackRose ( new member #52900) posted at 4:02 PM on Sunday, June 5th, 2016
Wow, well put! Thanks for sharing!
mchercheur (original poster member #37735) posted at 4:36 PM on Sunday, June 5th, 2016
I just wanted to point out again that Nomadlady wrote this original thread. I thought it was absolutely one of the best threads I have ever read on this site. It helped me so much----thank you for writing it Nomadlady. I only wished that I had read it on Dday---perhaps I would have done things differently.
It even helps to re-read it from time to time, to re-evaluate the decisions I made.
The original thread was posted in General, so all I did was copy & paste it into the JFO forum, so that newbies would see it right away.
[This message edited by mchercheur at 10:53 AM, June 5th (Sunday)]
Me: BW; Him: WH --Had 10 mo. EA/ PA with COW; Dday 5/2011 Married 34 years/Together 35 years/4 kids together, and 1 grandbaby; OW 20 years younger than us/divorced no kids Trying to R; don't know what the final outcome will be
Lyonesse ( member #32943) posted at 1:40 AM on Wednesday, June 8th, 2016
minusone ( member #50175) posted at 6:39 PM on Wednesday, June 15th, 2016
"I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better". Maya Angelou
mchercheur (original poster member #37735) posted at 4:21 AM on Thursday, June 16th, 2016
Me: BW; Him: WH --Had 10 mo. EA/ PA with COW; Dday 5/2011 Married 34 years/Together 35 years/4 kids together, and 1 grandbaby; OW 20 years younger than us/divorced no kids Trying to R; don't know what the final outcome will be
mchercheur (original poster member #37735) posted at 3:15 AM on Friday, June 17th, 2016
Me: BW; Him: WH --Had 10 mo. EA/ PA with COW; Dday 5/2011 Married 34 years/Together 35 years/4 kids together, and 1 grandbaby; OW 20 years younger than us/divorced no kids Trying to R; don't know what the final outcome will be
minusone ( member #50175) posted at 12:26 PM on Wednesday, June 22nd, 2016
"I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better". Maya Angelou
mchercheur (original poster member #37735) posted at 8:13 PM on Wednesday, June 22nd, 2016
Me: BW; Him: WH --Had 10 mo. EA/ PA with COW; Dday 5/2011 Married 34 years/Together 35 years/4 kids together, and 1 grandbaby; OW 20 years younger than us/divorced no kids Trying to R; don't know what the final outcome will be
