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Newest Member: bluebirdoffury

Just Found Out :
Another Great Post for Newbies to read

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Jpapageorge ( member #31800) posted at 8:48 AM on Monday, July 4th, 2016

Bump.

"Either get busy livin' or get busy dyin'." (and I prefer to live)
"Shame on me for kissing you with my eyes closed."
Spectemur agendo.
Me: FBBF

posts: 2016   ·   registered: Apr. 8th, 2011   ·   location: California
id 7597931
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 mchercheur (original poster member #37735) posted at 8:10 PM on Wednesday, July 6th, 2016

BUMP

Me: BW; Him: WH --Had 10 mo. EA/ PA with COW; Dday 5/2011 Married 34 years/Together 35 years/4 kids together, and 1 grandbaby; OW 20 years younger than us/divorced no kids Trying to R; don't know what the final outcome will be

posts: 2687   ·   registered: Dec. 7th, 2012
id 7600353
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minusone ( member #50175) posted at 12:06 PM on Wednesday, July 13th, 2016

bump

"I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better". Maya Angelou

posts: 8372   ·   registered: Nov. 2nd, 2015   ·   location: USA
id 7606114
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minusone ( member #50175) posted at 10:08 PM on Monday, July 18th, 2016

bump

"I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better". Maya Angelou

posts: 8372   ·   registered: Nov. 2nd, 2015   ·   location: USA
id 7610696
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minusone ( member #50175) posted at 12:28 PM on Thursday, August 4th, 2016

bump

"I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better". Maya Angelou

posts: 8372   ·   registered: Nov. 2nd, 2015   ·   location: USA
id 7624790
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minusone ( member #50175) posted at 12:13 PM on Thursday, August 18th, 2016

bump

"I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better". Maya Angelou

posts: 8372   ·   registered: Nov. 2nd, 2015   ·   location: USA
id 7637439
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cantaccept ( member #37451) posted at 1:20 AM on Monday, August 22nd, 2016

bump

"I'm still standing better than I ever did. Looking like a true survivor, feeling like a little kid" Elton John
I would now like to be known as Can!

dday October 21,2012
dday December 20, 2013
wh deleted
I attempted R, he was a lie

posts: 3505   ·   registered: Nov. 11th, 2012   ·   location: Connecticut
id 7640263
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minusone ( member #50175) posted at 12:38 PM on Thursday, September 8th, 2016

bump

[This message edited by minusone at 6:38 AM, September 8th (Thursday)]

"I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better". Maya Angelou

posts: 8372   ·   registered: Nov. 2nd, 2015   ·   location: USA
id 7655255
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hard_yards ( member #23549) posted at 12:38 PM on Sunday, September 11th, 2016

bump


I feel like I'm in a parallel universe... everything looks the same... but something's just not right...

posts: 1383   ·   registered: Apr. 8th, 2009
id 7657803
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 mchercheur (original poster member #37735) posted at 12:12 AM on Sunday, September 25th, 2016

BUMP

Me: BW; Him: WH --Had 10 mo. EA/ PA with COW; Dday 5/2011 Married 34 years/Together 35 years/4 kids together, and 1 grandbaby; OW 20 years younger than us/divorced no kids Trying to R; don't know what the final outcome will be

posts: 2687   ·   registered: Dec. 7th, 2012
id 7669566
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justbreathe74 ( member #53605) posted at 3:23 AM on Monday, September 26th, 2016

Thank you for this post- just what I needed to read right in this moment

Me BS
DD 20, DS 25
1st dday online EA October 2000
2nd dday PA Jan 5 2001 resulted in separation. R sept 2001married sept 2003
3rd dday June 8 2016 EA possible PA
separated jan 2017
Divorce filed February 2018
Divorced as of May 2018

posts: 363   ·   registered: Jun. 10th, 2016   ·   location: Edmonton canada
id 7670301
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sisoon ( Moderator #31240) posted at 4:49 PM on Wednesday, October 5th, 2016

bump

fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex ap
DDay - 12/22/2010
Recover'd and R'ed
You don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.

posts: 30293   ·   registered: Feb. 18th, 2011   ·   location: Illinois
id 7678314
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minusone ( member #50175) posted at 1:02 AM on Tuesday, October 18th, 2016

bump

"I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better". Maya Angelou

posts: 8372   ·   registered: Nov. 2nd, 2015   ·   location: USA
id 7686985
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minusone ( member #50175) posted at 1:23 AM on Tuesday, October 25th, 2016

bump

"I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better". Maya Angelou

posts: 8372   ·   registered: Nov. 2nd, 2015   ·   location: USA
id 7692435
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TurnOtherCheek ( member #55194) posted at 11:58 PM on Tuesday, October 25th, 2016

This is me! #4. All day. Every day. Why?!!!

4. You will never truly understand your WS’s choices.

Why? Why? You’ll keep asking yourself this. You will want to spend a lot of time and energy trying to figure out how your WS could do such a thing. You couldn’t imagine betraying your spouse in such a way, so you can’t wrap your head around how your WS could be so heartless and hurtful. You may buy countless books. You may try to diagnose your WS. It’s NPD! It’s bipolar disorder! It’s addiction! It’s FOO issues! He’s got KISA syndrome! It’s postpartum depression!

This need to get answers and make sense is understandable, but you’ll eventually realize you will never understand. It will never really make sense. You determine that your WS has a dysfunctional family. Will you hurt less? Will WS’s actions be less wrong?

Me: BW x 2 - 53
Ist XWH: Married over 17 years, DD and DS (mine)
2nd XH: Also 53, DS (his), 8 yrs together
OW: Pet sitter
D-Day: 9/11/16
Divorced in 60 seconds flat. http://www.survivinginfidelity.com/forums.asp?tid=591733

posts: 441   ·   registered: Sep. 17th, 2016
id 7693270
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heartbroken_kk ( member #22722) posted at 2:54 AM on Thursday, December 1st, 2016

bumping.

FBW then 46, XWHNPDPAFTG the destroyer of my entire life. D-Day 1 '99, D-Day 2,3,4,5,6... '09-'11, D '15. I fell apart. I put myself back together. Forgiveness isn't required. I'm happy and healthy now, and MY new life is good.

posts: 2540   ·   registered: Feb. 3rd, 2009   ·   location: California
id 7718417
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minusone ( member #50175) posted at 12:05 PM on Friday, December 30th, 2016

bump

"I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better". Maya Angelou

posts: 8372   ·   registered: Nov. 2nd, 2015   ·   location: USA
id 7741908
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Beyondbelief2016 ( member #56570) posted at 5:17 PM on Friday, December 30th, 2016

Fantastic post - thanks for bumping for us newbies to read

BW: 34 & WH: 37
Together almost 11 & M 9
cOW: affaired down like no tomorrow - EA into PA (approx 15 months)
DDays and TT: early nov to late dec 16
Had-enough-day: 20 Dec - read riot act
NYE onwards: focusing on making me happy first

posts: 133   ·   registered: Dec. 28th, 2016   ·   location: Not the US of A!
id 7742127
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Lovingmyselfmore ( member #46119) posted at 3:25 AM on Sunday, January 8th, 2017

Bump

dday: september-12-2014
Me: 42 EX: 46 gay or bisexual (go figure!) together: 12 years
Dday to 3 months: suicidal 1 year after: huge depression- 1.5 years still kind of depressed-Took me 2.5 years to be kind of happy again

posts: 1076   ·   registered: Dec. 29th, 2014
id 7750707
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minusone ( member #50175) posted at 1:47 AM on Monday, February 6th, 2017

bump

"I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better". Maya Angelou

posts: 8372   ·   registered: Nov. 2nd, 2015   ·   location: USA
id 7777620
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