SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Thanks LaLa. Actually going to see my own kids that live out of state. I have been divorced for 6 years and this was the first LTR I have had since then. I had been going to see them every two weeks up until I met WGF and she got her hooks into me. Then it was maybe only every 5-6 weeks.

It's all so much more clear to me now. Every time I did go out of town to see them she insisted on going out to "dinner" with her friends, or who knows what? Disappearing for hours at a time. I was a major sore subject for us. I told her that wasn't the way a committed person behaved, a mother with a small child. Dumping her daughter off with her folks at every opportunity to be with "friends". She said I killed the relationship because I didn't trustttt her. Well, it's true, I didn't trust her, for very good reason apparently. She has an ongoing A with her phone. It was always the OM. She could keep things hidden that way. End of the day, she is what a always suspected, a low life floozy. It's no wonder a girl with her background had never been attached for long, until my dumb ass anyway...

In the process of gathering data to file a report on the good Dr. I told her I wouldn't report him, but advice from counsel and my new found friends here has convinced me otherwise.

I think time away to continue to clear your head is good. You're making smart decisions. And it isn't necessarily about hurting your WGF, but holding her accountable properly. I think you have accomplished that.

The way she viewed your relationship with your children and your desire to be very involved with them is a big red flag, and I hope you will see that flag quickly if you ever come across a similar situation.

My SO (7 years) and I don't live together, but we spend a lot of time together. I am very supportive and encouraging of him spending time with his adult children, and he does the same for me (even going so far as to keep my dog when I go visit my oldest, who doesn't live locally).

A relationship should enhance an already fulfilling life. That's why relationships that have their roots in KISA issues and the like fail--these are incomplete people looking for someone to "complete" them.

Be you. Be complete. Then add to that with someone who is also complete.

Cat

The KISA thing is on me. She wanted it, and I gave it to her.

Regarding KISA, remember this:

He who rescues a damsel in distress merely ends up with a distressed damsel.

Cat

Regarding KISA, remember this:

He who rescues a damsel in distress merely ends up with a distressed damsel.

Cat

Thanks, Cat. Now I have spewed coffee on my monitor.

Did a quick Google for chiropractor ethics and found this on the website of the American Chiropractic Association:

This advisory opinion is intended to resolve any misunderstanding and to state that it is the opinion of the Committee that sexual intimacies with a patient is unprofessional and unethical based on the existing ethical provisions in the ACA Code of Ethics: A(6), A(7), A(10) and C(2).

So it is definitely against an oath that he took. Also something to think about is if she says that he hasn't been treating her then they've committed insurance fraud or I suppose if she pays cash then he is some sort of prostitute.

Thanks beenthere. That is some great and useful information. I have the DoH complaint form completed and will send it tonight once I get checked into my hotel.

I also located his personal email address. Thinking about sending him an email making sure he knows about little miss STI. (She is so classy.) There's no need for me to be nasty to him at this point. Just the facts... and a link to your citation of course!

I would like to ask him if he intends to self report, or If he needs me to do it for him. Too savage?

Any thoughts or feedback on this approach?

[This message edited by jackfl at 12:22 PM, June 2nd (Friday)]

Oh and beenthere- she was definitely not paying cash. She was using a credit card tied to one of my accounts, and of course my insurance plan.

I like your style.

I got other man fired than called him up to gloat a bit, and that I could do other things still.

If you get in his face, just be prepared to handle that he might throw in your face about him having your wife and you not being man enough and such. I suggest determining if you could record the conversation (most states I think you can record conversations you are part of) because that potentially could give him some more rope to hang on. I'd wonder if he took insurance money when he had sex with your wife instead of treating him medically because that is a crime and I believe there is enough for an investigation. The stuff about ethical standards is good, too.

It's a low effort, low time activity that could have great results, so I think it's worth it.

If he was "doing your wife" and billing insurance for treating your wife, that is called insurance fraud and it is more than against professional ethics, it is illegal. As is charging your marital credit card for medical services that amount to gigolo services.

I think lawyering up if you want to take aim at him might be a good idea.

I would like to ask him if he intends to self report, or If he needs me to do it for him. Too savage?

You shouldn't warn him. Best if he continues to believe he can't be touched.

I would get all the records you can from your insurance carrier to show when she was a patient.

Her file at the chiropractic office will go missing once he learns of the complaint.

The playing field changed from the time you said you wouldn't go after him.

I also located his personal email address. Thinking about sending him an email making sure he knows about little miss STI. (She is so classy.)

I wouldn't even let them occupy any of your brain space my man. You're doing well. I'd give them both one big F YOU! and then never speak to any of them ever again. I'm 100% sure you'll be fine. I do feel bad for your exGF's kid. Poor kid doesn't stand a chance. Oh well, not your problem. Move on and leave it behind. Good luck.

I wouldn't give him any courtesy email to self-report. Did he send you a courtesy email before he slept with your wife? Telling him ahead of time only gives him time to get his story together and falsify any records that implicate him.

I'm going to agree with CincyKid.

Look, this should be handled swift and proper. No fooling around, no drama...

1. Inform both WW and POS they have given you an STD and you will be suing them. And them file.

2. Make a formal complaint to the state board for chiropractors and cite that language. Send whatever proof you have.

3. Contact the insurance carrier and let them know they were being billed for treatment when in fact they were meeting for sex and you want the money credited back.

4. File an insurance fraud claim with the state insurance division as to potential billing fraud.

5. Expose as necessary on social media- Angie's List, Google, FB... that he is a predator seeking and having sex with patient's wives and you have an STD as a result.

Just do it and let it be their worry.

I wouldn't be posting anything on social media about you getting an std from them. Even though it is true, that has lawsuit written all over it.

[This message edited by Northsider12 at 2:52 PM, June 2nd (Friday)]

Filing now would allow you to dictate certain terms in the custody agreement. Such as keeping the kids in a familiar environment. When custody is NOT agreed on, the court usually sides on what is in the children's best interests.

Strength

I don't have any rights to her child. I am not the biological father and we were not married, so I couldn't even be considered a step-parent. This in no way reflects how I feel about her little girl though.

The humiliation and devastation of it all are both really hitting me in the gut tonight. I had to dump my kids back off with their mom early because I needed to check in to my room and lay down. I'm plum out of fight on it tonight. And WGF is nowhere. Not a peep from her in a week. No remorseful messages, no calls. Probably hole dup with Dr Douchebag in our bed. I'm physically ill over it tonight.

"In the process of gathering data to file a report on the good Dr. I told her I wouldn't report him, but advice from counsel and my new found friends here has convinced me otherwise."

Thank you Jack. Though you will never know directly, your action will keep someone else from going through this, maybe even someone more vulnerable. From a former health care provider, thank you for holding him accountable. Have a peaceful weekend.