SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Never saw this before and I really needed to read this today. Perfect timing.

I have to add my "amen" . . . describes it to a "T"

I have a liberal arts degree, and worked in a high stress job with lots of responsibility until I became medically disabled. Then I became the artist I was always meant to be. She (OW) has been a head-achy, sickly, meth-snorting loser who is stuck living with her mother because she can't seem to keep a room-ate. But it is true . . . she was ever so willing to accept that their little relationship was going nowhere. My spouse kept telling her that it would go no where. She fantasized that she finally had her one true love back in her life (they had been in a very unhealthy, even toxic, 15 year relationship before we met.)

And we are working toward rebuilding an even better relationship from this. I am an alpha female and have invited my spouse to resume a place at the head of the pack with me. This post helped us so much . . .

[This message edited by OneInTheSame at 4:02 PM, November 18th (Wednesday)]

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I read this, in a triumphant tone mind you, to my WH while driving together on a long road trip this past weekend. His reaction: "Some things weren't totally correct...but some are so true it is scary.". Yup. I said, "No, it is all truth...just stated more harshly than a WS would like."

He met his OW in parking lots, seedy pubs, and pay-by-the-hour motels. They got the barest of scraps from him...and told him they dreamed of "dates" and "walks on the beach.". Pathetic losers!! It would be right after these declarations and demands that he would ditch them.

And guess who was a screaming, sobbing pile of snot, literally on his knees with his arms wrapped around my legs, begging for forgiveness from his "neglectful nagging wife?". Yup, my WH. Guess who is showing me every text, friend request, (even wrong numbers just in case) from past women on his phone. Yup my WH.

Guess who thanks me almost everyday for allowing him one more day in our house with our children? Yup, my WH.

[This message edited by WhoTheBleep at 3:13 AM, December 2nd (Wednesday)]

This thread was just mentioned in another thread so I thought I'd take a peek and give a bump.

(Great story BTW, WhoTheBleep!! )

I would love to think my Wayward affaired down w/her numerous Craigslist "Playmates", but the oldest was ten years younger than me, at least one was less than as half my age (21), and all of them super fit and hung like donkeys.

One was an emotionally unavailable white collar MM w/small kids. She wanted more from him than kinky sex and he had to tell her "That's not what this is about." (I'm pretty sure he was the one affairing down.)

[This message edited by Csocal at 12:38 AM, December 12th (Saturday)]

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Everyone who cheats, affairs down. Everyone.

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So I contacted obs and they both affaired down. Me and her are talking ourselves through this and it's amazing. Other than being a crutch to complain about us they are going to end up hating eachother.

The om is a serial cheater. Don't make a good living. No sex drive. Not interested in his partners feelings. Doesn't bathe much. Breath stinks from a bad tooth. They used to go dancing and drinking and snowboarding together. All things my ww hates. The oms is 13 years younger than my ww blond, beautiful, fun, bubbly. The total opposite of my wife. We know these two idiots aren't going to last for too much longer.

Thank you for this................has helped me sooo much xxx

Wow.......that was a good read thanks. Problem is......it has hit hard now that my WH didn't just affair down he affaired with a man too......not sure how I can relate this post to help me with that part but at least it helps with one half :-)

Mine was 28 she was way better then me at 45

I'm afraid my circumstance is so peculiar that as much as I want to believe he "affaired down" He didn't. I certainly do not feel lesser than but I cannot tout myself as being more either. The thing is we are so new to even considering recovery that we agreed the driving force at this time is our family business which employs nearly 50 people, our mutual assets and of course most important the stable environment we provide for our two children. Right now until this crazy crazy crazy dust settles we are being pragmatic. My husband has had a mistress our entire marriage and I recently found out....married 20 some years...wild huh? I feel numb. In shock I accept that at this time.

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Wow. I love this.

So helpful.

I love this so much! Though I most definitely can't compete with a 20 year old girl's body after having OUR baby. I am definitely a better person all around than she ever will be. Beauty fades, people lose their youthful bodies, and all she'll be left with is a sad excuse for a human being. Not like my husband is much better...

Edie,

You are brilliant! I am glad I found your post.

if she affaired down , my H is the sad desperate loser?

I haven't posted in a long while, but my 6th anniversary of my Dday is arriving.

The fact is, my wife was, internally, carefully hidden, a sad, desperate, loser, with major mental health issues that she hid and did not deal with until she confessed. This is true of many a WS, and because of this they wreck their families, and that brings it to the surface. That is what it took for her to get help.

She's much better now. We've probably spent 30k now on counseling, hundreds of hours in support group meetings, and thousands upon thousands of dollars on medication.

I'm glad she's better, but the personal cost to me I could have done without. The money I don't really give a rats ass over, but the true cost is the pain the BS endures.

Sad, desperate, people do sad, desperate things to those that love them.

Thank you for reposting this. All of the above is true in my case. He told her from day one he was married and had no intentions of ever leaving me. And show was ok with that. I have always been a confident woman and this has shattered my self esteem. Yes. He cheated down. Older than me and not a great looker. Your post was very helpful to me. Thank you.

You speak nothing but truth. As much anger as I have towards WH for cheating, he did use her. She was his dirty secret, had sex with her twice in her own car, in a public parking lot. He spent no money, no quality time, just quck sex on the back seat and then called it off. he made out like a bandit. Girl was desperate she initiated everything by offering a BJ funny actually when I think about it. I always sit and think about the "whys" and even though the answer came from this post it makes me feel better about myself.