Kuwaited ( member #5491) posted at 12:20 AM on Tuesday, July 12th, 2016
I'm going to be ugly...I just know it.
It occurs to me I have known my share of cancer/chemo patients. And I can honestly say I’ve never looked at them and thought “ugly”. To tell you the truth…my thought has always been: “…now there is someone with strength” – because I don’t think one can go through that without significant emotional, mental and physical strength.
this isn't the end to our story...we have so much more to do
Of that I’m sure! Just as I’m sure you’ll accomplish it all.
Good thoughts heading your way.
"For every trip to the vet, there's a car ride.", Satchel Pooch.
"At some point in life, everyone has gambled on a fart and lost." -- Tad.
"When the bad stuff happens, you walk it off any way you can"
Hope24 ( member #9344) posted at 10:34 AM on Tuesday, July 12th, 2016
Dear, sweet, precious, DS...
Not sure how I missed hearing this news. My apologies for responding so late.
You're one of the strongest women I have ever had the honor of knowing, You continue to be an inspiration as you courageously face this challenge that so many of us will eventually face, if we haven't already.
Your beautiful spirit and love of life will shine through as you go through the next phase of chemo. You are so loved.
Thinking of you, also, MH. What an amazing partner you are.
Hugs to two of my very favorite, most cherished people. <3
She packed up her potential and all she had learned and headed out to change a few things.
NaiveAgain ( member #20849) posted at 12:18 PM on Tuesday, July 12th, 2016
I'm going to be ugly...I just know it.
Aawww DS.. (((hugs))) You could never be ugly. You are not your hair. You are a whole, beautiful, complete person...and the beauty inside shows on your face. It isn't your hair that makes you beautiful, it is the kindness in your soul....and nothing can take that away.
I'm glad for the news they are shrinking! Yay! That is always good news!
Original WS D-Day July 10, 2008. Kept lying, he is gone.
New WS (2 EA's, no PA) 12-3-13
If you don't like where you are, then change it. You are not a tree.
SummerLyn ( member #7489) posted at 10:16 PM on Tuesday, July 12th, 2016
I haven't been on in a long time so I am just seeing this. I am so sorry you are going through this, DS, and my thoughts and prayers are with you and MH as you go through this next phase.
Hugs to you both!
I'd always thought that when I hit rock bottom, there'd be nowhere to go but up. Now I know running around in circles here is also an option.
Catwoman ( member #1330) posted at 11:24 PM on Tuesday, July 12th, 2016
If there was an upside to chemo last summer, it was that I didn't have to shave or pluck . . . anything. We are now in bare-legged season, and I have to remember to shave every couple of days. I had it good last summer, I tell you!
I rocked the hats--I can give you a couple of good resources if you like. The upside to that is that I will never need to buy another hat (or scarf) in my life. 
Cat
PS: you are beautiful
FBS: Married 20 years, 2 daughters 27 and 24. Divorced by the grace of GOD.
D-Days: 2/23/93; 10/11/97; 3/5/03
Ex & OW Broke up 12-10
"An erection does not count as personal growth."
caregiver9000 ( member #28622) posted at 12:58 AM on Wednesday, July 13th, 2016
There are no pictures on this site. YOU are one of the most beautiful people here.
You know that saying, beauty is in the eye of the beholder? That's because people who look on you with love show you exactly how beautiful you are.
Me: fortysomething, independent, happy,
XH "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
two kids, teens. Old enough I am truly NO CONTACT w/ NPD zebraduck
S 5/2010
D 12/2012
Lovingmyselfmore ( member #46119) posted at 1:09 AM on Wednesday, July 13th, 2016
Even though I don't have the honor of knowing you personally, both of you are deep in my heart.
I am sending you so much love and my prayers ❤️❤️ You are going to be fine and get stronger!
Millions of hugs
dday: september-12-2014
Me: 42 EX: 46 gay or bisexual (go figure!) together: 12 years
Dday to 3 months: suicidal 1 year after: huge depression- 1.5 years still kind of depressed-Took me 2.5 years to be kind of happy again
Deeply Scared (original poster administrator #2) posted at 11:34 AM on Wednesday, July 13th, 2016
(((((Hope24)))))
OMG...I can't believe you're here!! I've missed you so much, thank you for stopping by!!
I wish we could see eachother again...you are a light in dark times 
"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." My Mom:)
My tolerance for stupid shit is getting less and less.
Deeply Scared (original poster administrator #2) posted at 11:41 AM on Wednesday, July 13th, 2016
(((Everyone)))
I wanted to say thank you to all that have taken the time to support me and MH...we really appreciate your words of love and encouragement.
I'm not a big cry baby or scared of many things (SNAKES!) but this whole cancer journey has brought me to my knees at times. But we have to keep moving forward and trust that my doctors, my medications and God will pull us through.
This Friday we meet with the chemo department to get me on schedule for my next round of chemo. I hope to start next week. I'm nervous and scared and anxious...I'm a mess 
"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." My Mom:)
My tolerance for stupid shit is getting less and less.
devasted30 ( member #39439) posted at 11:58 AM on Wednesday, July 13th, 2016
And remember Murphy is right. Nothing is so bad that it can't get worse!!!
authenticnow ( member #16024) posted at 12:21 PM on Wednesday, July 13th, 2016
(((DS and MH)))
May the strength of the love here continue to lift you both up.
DS, you are forever in my heart. Thank you for sharing your beautiful spirit with me. I will always try to live by the example you have set. I love you and miss you every day and am sorry you had to go so soon, it just doesn't seem fair.
DragnHeart ( member #32122) posted at 12:43 PM on Wednesday, July 13th, 2016
We can't be there physically but know that we are all there with you surrounding you in love and prayers.
(((((DS & MH)))))
Me: BS 46 WH: 37 (BrokenHeart911)Four little dragons. Met 2006. Married 2008. Dday of LTPA with co worker October 19th 2010. Knew about EA with ow1 before that. Now up to PA #5. Serial fucking Cheater.
Hope24 ( member #9344) posted at 1:59 PM on Wednesday, July 13th, 2016
You're so sweet, DS.
I still lurk here a bit. SI is such a huge part of my history and I will always credit this site for saving my life.
Someday, I will get back to TX to visit you!
In the meantime, I am thinking of you daily and sending positive, healing thoughts.
((DS & MH))
She packed up her potential and all she had learned and headed out to change a few things.
Lucky2HaveMe ( member #13333) posted at 3:17 PM on Wednesday, July 13th, 2016
The love on this thread is overwhelming to me! I can't even imagine the joy it brings you, DS & MH.
I can't wait for the post that says you a free & clear! Keep up the good fight - You Got This!!
Much love to you both.
Love isn't what you say, it's what you do.
MissesJai ( member #24849) posted at 5:12 PM on Wednesday, July 13th, 2016
44
Happily divorcing..
My Life is Mine!!!!
#BlackLivesMatter
Don't settle for no fuck shit....
JanetS ( member #2766) posted at 10:00 PM on Wednesday, July 13th, 2016
Another SI'r offering up strength to you. As for ugly, I doubt it. I saw your picture and you are lovely.
The daughter of a friend of mine is going through breast cancer. She's just past where you are, still in treatment but already bald. And, you know what, when I saw her bald picture, and her beautiful smiling face I thought "bald works good on her". I doubt it'd look good on me, but I'm older and not as gorgeous as you.
Try not to worry about how you look. Concentrate on resting, getting good nutrition and recognize that there is an army behind you.
Pentup ( member #20563) posted at 10:15 PM on Wednesday, July 13th, 2016
If you weren't scared and a mess I might worry about you. This is scary shit.
But you have that magic AK-47 which is the love , light and prayers of tens of thousands lifting you up for healing. Not to mention that famous S I mojo!
Besides all that post on here I know that there are many many lurkers who are reading and adding their prayers for you.
Sending you huge hugs and lots of prayers.
Me- BS
Him- FWS (I hope- F)
plainsong ( member #37826) posted at 4:27 AM on Thursday, July 14th, 2016
Another of the mostly lurkers sending you love and strength and JOY - the gift you give others so well.
Me, fWW
Him, fBH (sisoon)
Dday, 12/22/2010
I use capital letters for emphasis, not yelling.
Reconciled and healing.
Skan ( member #35812) posted at 9:42 PM on Thursday, July 14th, 2016
Hoping that you rock that meeting tomorrow. And BTW, I think that you could totally rock this!
Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.
D-Day, June 10, 2012
Inchoate ( member #9065) posted at 2:59 AM on Friday, July 15th, 2016
Holding you in the light, DS. You got this.
Former Wayward Ninja, recovered
"The shadows tell us where the light is" (my DD@3)
"Growing up is hard. If it were easy, everyone would do it." (Agliarept)
