SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Hello, maybe some of you will remember me from my most recent thread (now closed) “Pressured to make like "happy families"”

In that thread I posted about my emotional and physical struggle to clear out the family home of 35 years - following the bitter and traumatizing separation and divorce. I talked about how it was good to shed material things, wrenching as it can be. I said that though I’d trimmed down to ”the keepers” which I put in a storage-unit while working overseas, I knew I’d eventually have to deal with letting go of those things, too.

And it has come to pass. Unknown to me, the storage company changed ownership, and in the process turned off my automatic payments. The rent was not paid, the bills were coming from a different company, different email address - so were filtered out. The contents were auctioned off.

It’s all legal, I have little recourse, the storage company contract excuses them from all of it. I doubt their insurance policy will cover it

Bad enough, but the way I found out about it was cruel. I was contacted on Facebook by the toad-of-a-man who won the auction. He abruptly informed me that he’d sold or donated all my furnishings (family heirlooms, irreplaceable mementos, stuff I’d selected to set up a new household when I returned), but I could BUY my own original artwork back - for 25 grand. I had two days to decide and then he’d auction it all off and trash all the personal papers and stuff he couldn’t sell. Again, this is all legal. So much for the law standing for fairness and justice - it’s a fairy tale.

The sense of violation and helplessness that I’d spent years getting over since D-Day and the separation overwhelmed me. I”m back to the same state of distraction, anger, despair, and. inability to get anything done.

And at such a great time - I just moved to a new city overseas, and it went into quarantine, and all the class-room teaching jobs evaporated. I need to re-invent myself as an online teacher, but I can’t muster the concentration required.

The demands from the creepy auction guy have softened, he’s put everything he has into another storage unit and he dropped the immediate deadline. He’s willing to give me the personal files if I can’t cough up the amount he wants for the artwork.

I don’t need legal advice or suggestions what to do. I’m going to engage a lawyer to help with that. Believe me, my friends and I have looked into all the aspects and are taking the best course.

I DO need sympathy and understanding for the emotional and mental toll this is taking and how it’s set me back so badly. I know you all will get that part.

Betrayal trauma is so very, very real.

It just amazes me how horrifying it is to finally realize and say to the wolf in grandma's clothing, "what big TEETH you have!" when you're down on the ground, wounded and bleeding, and looking up at the four-legged monster glaring at you with his mouth fully open in anticipation of not having to worry about much of a struggle in the finishing-off of his prey.

I know too much about re-injury and being re-traumatized thorough betrayal all over and over and over again...

I hope that you kick that monster's teeth out of his predatory head.

To take advantage of such a situation as yours with all that's going on right now...just shows how evil and selfish some people really are.

I'm so sorry to hear that this sick world hasn't even allowed you to let go of your past reminders without making the present day a deja vu experience just to add further insult and injury to what was already so insulted and injured and devastated.

I can relate in my own way, however, for whatever it may be worth to just know that you're not alone in going through this kind of mulitple, ongoing, compound betrayal.

Thank you, Cephastion! I knew people here would get it.

I am angry for you. (((Hugs)))

HI, BeeBee

Just wanted to let you know that I feel your pain.

My divorce was final March 23 and I cried for 2 days and then I stopped. Then today, I found out that the money from the divorce settlement is now in my own account and I can do with it whatever I want.

Okay....divorce, check, money settlement, check. That pretty much takes care of everything, right?

I still have the process of changing back to my maiden name which was approved by the court. That will take awhile since so many government offices, license bureau, etc. are closed right now. Kinda' pain in the butt but I didn't want to keep my married name.

I know I'm rambling here, but my point is that every time something happens to take me further down the road of "new beginnings", it just seems to add more trauma.

I also had to let go of many material possessions from my marriage but I can't imagine having to go through what you are right now!

Hang in there, babe! The world is crazy right now, but we just have to hang on and try not to lose hope!

Ugh. What a jerk. I am so sorry. Hope you’re able to get back some of your good.

(((BeeBee)))

I am so, so sorry you are going through this. It's like you are having to grieve something twice. I can't imagine how you must feel, but I do believe you are developing patience and understanding during this trial. I hope everything works out in your favor. It is good news that the "owner" will give you your personal documents back.

I'm so sorry. What an awful thing to happen. I hope you get at least some of your things back.

((BeeBee))

I'm so sorry.

It may help you to depersonalize what has happened to you so you can move on. Imagine you had a fire and lost everything in the fire. No evil people to blame, just a random event that destroyed everything.

You need to find peace to be able to move on, and accepting the loss might be easier if you do not focus on the people involved in it.

I can tell you that people who have lost everything do recover, and become much more resilient in their future lives. It's a trauma and it's painful, but you still have yourself and you can move on in your life without those things.

Grief counseling can help you.

Wow, you are being hit from all directions. Very sorry to hear of your struggles. Stay strong.

No words....just support.

(((BeeBee64)))

[This message edited by Ripped62 at 11:13 AM, April 4th (Saturday)]

Sorry the world seems to be piling on. You deserve better. You have been heard. Sending you support.

I’m sorry BeeBee. People can be so cruel and greedy, and life can be so unfair. Just wanted to add another “you’ve been heard.” You’ll get through this.

((((Big, big hugs from over the ocean))))).

Wow.

I'm so so sorry. This is horrible. I can imagine the grief.

No words... So very sorry.

Infidelity is like a million shards of the sharpest glass.

You have been heard.

Man I am so sorry! Scumbags. F____ing scum!

The sense of violation and helplessness that I’d spent years getting over since D-Day and the separation overwhelmed me. I”m back to the same state of distraction, anger, despair, and. inability to get anything done.

Oh (((BeeBee64))) sending you hugs. I am so sorry you are being re-traumatized in this way. What an awful discovery. The pain from betrayal is all consuming and doesn't seem to have an end point Hang in there!

Everyone wants to make a buck. I once left one of my grandma's trunks in a cabby while vacationing with her overseas and called the cab company to get it back. He said he would bring it back. He came back and said he would give it back if I gave him an equivalent of $50 for his troubles. I apologized to my grandma and said, do you have your medications? Anything in there that you feel I need to give this man 50 bucks? She said she had all her meds, and he can jump off a cliff. Then I said, I will buy you all new clothes. And we moved on to our next destination.

However you figure this out, I know you will be on to your next destination! Good luck!

This happening to anyone would be traumatic!!!! And then with the D just happening, a big move, etc. it’s really ok to be in shock. I also say to try to find an IC -even over the computer- bc processing all this is very important to your physical and mental heath.

I’m sorry this happened.