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Off Topic :
Stupid things we do!

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 WhatsRight (original poster member #35417) posted at 6:24 PM on Wednesday, June 28th, 2023

I’m an idiot so sometimes I do idiotic things. Even if I am embarrassed, I can’t help laughing at myself. And then later I relive it and get another belly laugh. Usually around strangers at the store or something. grin

So, please share some funny stuff you have done so we can have a good laugh. We all need that, right?

I’ll go first…

My 2 sisters, and a friend went to Ireland together a long while ago. Maybe 20 years. And it still cracks me up. And when I say "cracks me up", I mean hysterical, shooting milk out your nose laughing.)

I was the designated photographer and we had stopped at one of a million cliffs. My sisters and the friend headed to the car parked in a small lot, and I finished up with some pictures.

As I was headed down the hill to the parking lot, I saw my sister backing out of the parking space, and heading out of the lot. I ran toward the car, (I could still run then 😏). When I reached the car, I banged on the rear window. She stopped the car and I jumped in.

When the people in the front seat turned around…it wasn’t my sisters. An older couple just starred at me. And then at each other.. WRONG CAR.

I just said, "Oops, wrong car!" and hightailed it out of that car. tongue

Meanwhile, my sisters were watching (horrified). My oldest was driving, and she was humiliated. (Very proper…hard to believe we were blood!)

But I wasn’t humiliated at all - I was laughing so hard that I almost choked myself. I finally I got a hold of myself, but in about 10-15 minutes I relived it and would bray like a donkey. This went on the whole time (a couple of hours) till we got to the place we were staying that night.

And, I can’t believe I’m telling y’all this, but while I’m typing this, I am laughing so hard that I farted so loud I woke up my husband who is trying to get some rest in the hospitals. laugh

And now I’m laughing about that!

Come on y’all, I know there are some clowns out there. Help me (and everybody) get a good laugh today!

"Noone can make you feel inferior without your concent." Eleanor Roosevelt

I will not be vanquished. Rose Kennedy

posts: 8025   ·   registered: Apr. 23rd, 2012   ·   location: Southeast USA
id 8797257
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zebra25 ( member #29431) posted at 3:01 PM on Thursday, June 29th, 2023

"I just said, "Oops, wrong car!" and hightailed it out of that car." laugh laugh laugh

"And, I can’t believe I’m telling y’all this, but while I’m typing this, I am laughing so hard that I farted so loud I woke up my husband who is trying to get some rest in the hospitals" laugh laugh laugh

"Don't let anyone who hasn't been in your shoes tell you how to tie your laces."

D-day April 2010

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SacredSoul33 ( member #83038) posted at 6:57 PM on Thursday, June 29th, 2023

This was at least 15 years ago, but my family brings it up frequently and will never, ever let me live it down:

I was pondering the size difference between the drumsticks that you get with chicken wings and regular drumsticks. I said, "Maybe they're from the chicken's front legs?"

I immediately tried to walk it back, but it was too late. OMG, the looks that I got! laugh

---

When my H and I were first married, we were having an argument about something to do with religion. He was raised Catholic and I was a Methodist. He tried to say that the Catholic church was the authority on everything because "Jesus was a Catholic."

I raised an eyebrow and yelled, "JESUS WAS A JEW."

He hates when I tell that story. laugh

Let the world feel the weight of who you are and let them deal with it.

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 WhatsRight (original poster member #35417) posted at 3:30 AM on Friday, June 30th, 2023

Bahahahaha!!!

I love it!

And…I think Jesus being a Jew has been a thorn in the side of many!

"Noone can make you feel inferior without your concent." Eleanor Roosevelt

I will not be vanquished. Rose Kennedy

posts: 8025   ·   registered: Apr. 23rd, 2012   ·   location: Southeast USA
id 8797520
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Jeaniegirl ( member #6370) posted at 4:52 AM on Friday, June 30th, 2023

I know I probably posted this previously but I STILL think about it. I had a designated deep cleaning day at our office. Everyone, including me, cleaned. I went out back to the dumpster to empty a big box of shredded paper. I'm short so I had to jump UP to heave the box over the side. When I did that, the bottom of my shirt caught on top of the dumpster and there I was, hanging there by my shirt, pulled tight. And of course I had nothing on underneath. I kept kicking to try to free myself and it didn't do any good. I ended up having to get my arms out of the shirt and then grab it and put it back on. Middle of the afternoon, traffic passing by. At least two minutes I was hanging there, struggling. I never went near that dumpster again!

"Because I deserve better"

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 WhatsRight (original poster member #35417) posted at 12:32 PM on Friday, June 30th, 2023

Oh Jeaniegirl…I’m sorry to be laughing so much about this!

Were people starring? Anyone ask to help? 🤣

"Noone can make you feel inferior without your concent." Eleanor Roosevelt

I will not be vanquished. Rose Kennedy

posts: 8025   ·   registered: Apr. 23rd, 2012   ·   location: Southeast USA
id 8797550
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 WhatsRight (original poster member #35417) posted at 12:39 PM on Friday, June 30th, 2023

I went to a very small (1500 students) college. During exam week, all of the guys decided not to shave. So one of our friends, a girl, decided she wouldn’t shave her legs either. After her last exam, she went back to the dorm to shave her legs. Did I mention that, the hair on her legs was just like the hair on her head… Very thick and very dark.

Anyway, she fell on the way back to the dorm, and broke her ankle. And she went to the ER, and a gorgeous ER doctor Rolled up her pants leg, and there was her hairy leg. She was HUMILIATED!

Another girl there (excuse me, guys) was having an extra hard period. She had put in a super tampon, forgot about it, and put in another. When it came time, she couldn’t reach the string to get the first one out. She ended up having to go to the ER. she was worried about what time it might take because she had a blind date that night. And, yes… The ER doctor who retrieved the tampon was her blind date.

I guess that might not be as HUGE a situation now, as it was back then at a very small, very conservative, Christian college.

"Noone can make you feel inferior without your concent." Eleanor Roosevelt

I will not be vanquished. Rose Kennedy

posts: 8025   ·   registered: Apr. 23rd, 2012   ·   location: Southeast USA
id 8797552
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 WhatsRight (original poster member #35417) posted at 4:22 PM on Wednesday, July 12th, 2023

Another one from my college…

Keep in mind, I was a very conservative, easily embarrassed person. And I attended a very small, very conservative college.

One Sunday afternoon after church…when the entire student body was in the cafeteria (it seemed), I emerged out of the bathroom with my skirt tucked in my panty hose (unbeknownst to me). I know you are questioning the panty hose…but this was 1971 I’m talking about.

When I return to my seat, about 3/4 of the way toward the back of the cafeteria, I realized I was out of tea. So I walked up the center all of the cafeteria to the front area, and leaned over the counter and filled my glass with tea. The next thing I knew, a young man, quite gorgeous, tapped me on the shoulder and said that he wanted to tell me that my skirt was "tucked up" in the back. I thanked him and reached back to smooths out the tuck…and to my horror, got a hand full of my ass.

I was sooooo humiliated that I sat down in the seat nearest me, and didn’t move or even look up until everyone had left. But as I left the building, there was a group of guys across the street hanging out - and they gave me a round of applause as I left.

I ate in my dorm room for quite some time after that.

Then there was the time I was at Freshman orientation… The same college… And I had forgotten the swimsuit that I needed to use to take a swim test so that I could clep out of "beginner swimming". So I borrowed someone’s swimsuit so that I could take the test. As I entered the water from the low diving board, I did a lifesaving entry which is hitting the water with arms and feet spread apart to prevent subversion. Upon impact, the top of the bathing suit broke somehow and came off and was floating away from me by the time I realized it. One hell of a way to begin a college experience!

Thank God I was at least fit at that point, and not nearly so fat and out of shape as I am now.

I can’t believe that more of you haven’t had similar experiences. Maybe I just embarrass more easily.

"Noone can make you feel inferior without your concent." Eleanor Roosevelt

I will not be vanquished. Rose Kennedy

posts: 8025   ·   registered: Apr. 23rd, 2012   ·   location: Southeast USA
id 8799125
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tushnurse ( member #21101) posted at 6:00 PM on Wednesday, July 12th, 2023

Just an FYI the lost tampon? Yah that happens ALL THE TIME. Not a big deal. Now losing things in the Exit that is always entertaining. Can't tell you how many times I was called in in the middle of the night to retrieve things lost from "falling on" them.
Even had to retrieve a "Borat" arm, the dr sent it to pathology. LOL

Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 22 & 25
Married for 30 years now, was 16 at the time.
D-Day Sept 26 2008
R'd in about 2 years. Old Vet now.

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id 8799145
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SacredSoul33 ( member #83038) posted at 8:17 PM on Wednesday, July 12th, 2023

I have a friend who's an ER nurse and she regales us with stories all the time about things that people "fell on." Shampoo bottles are a popular item. laugh

I often wonder what's the most embarrassing thing that I've done that I don't even know about. Probably best that I don't know. tongue

Let the world feel the weight of who you are and let them deal with it.

posts: 552   ·   registered: Mar. 10th, 2023
id 8799162
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HFSSC ( member #33338) posted at 5:25 PM on Thursday, July 13th, 2023

My SIL and I were watching The Lion King (original animated one) with the kids and when the scene with the wildebeest running straight down the cliff came on, SIL said, "I never understood how they got those things to run down the side of that mountain like that."

I said, "Becky, it's not real. It's a cartoon." And then she tried to put it in reverse and say she meant, she didn't understand why the animators would do that. I'm like, no ma'am, that ship has SAILED. laugh


My favorite is one of JM's. He was hired at his first job because his dad worked there and so he never went through an interview process. After his back surgery in 2003 he was unable to return to his job and they FMLA'ed him out. When he recovered and was ready to go back to work the plant was in a hiring freeze so they couldn't rehire him. So, he gets referred by job service to our county animal control service. He went for the interview and I asked him later how it had gone. "Fine," he says, "but they asked me the stupidest question. Wanted to know what I thought about children in Asia." I said maybe they were trying to see how he'd field a curveball question and asked what his answer was. He said, "I said I didn't they had it as good as we do and we ought to try to make it better for them if we can."

"Then," he says, "They started asking me about putting the animals to sleep."

I said, "Baby, did they say Euthanasia?" Of course they did. I said, "Baby, that's a word. That's what it means." I was DYING by then.

He was furious. "How was I supposed to know that?" laugh laugh Poor guy. They hired him, though.

Me, 56
Him, 48 (JMSSC)
Married 26 years. Reconciled.

posts: 4897   ·   registered: Sep. 12th, 2011   ·   location: South Carolina
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SacredSoul33 ( member #83038) posted at 6:33 PM on Thursday, July 13th, 2023

I said, "Baby, did they say Euthanasia?" Of course they did. I said, "Baby, that's a word. That's what it means." I was DYING by then.

laugh laugh laugh

That sounds like a Gilda Radner Emily Litella bit.

Oh. NEVER MIND. laugh

[This message edited by SacredSoul33 at 6:34 PM, Thursday, July 13th]

Let the world feel the weight of who you are and let them deal with it.

posts: 552   ·   registered: Mar. 10th, 2023
id 8799264
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zebra25 ( member #29431) posted at 7:00 PM on Thursday, July 13th, 2023

One of my in-laws was at the hospital for an appointment. They saw a box of gloves labeled latex free. They figured what the heck and grabbed a few free pairs of gloves.

I was hospitalized a few years ago and needed a colonoscopy. I was wheeled down from my room for the procedure. When they asked me to roll over on my side I realized I still had my underwear on. I had to shimmy out of them and hand them to somebody while everyone waited. blush

These are all really funny!!! Thanks for sharing!!

"Don't let anyone who hasn't been in your shoes tell you how to tie your laces."

D-day April 2010

posts: 3323   ·   registered: Aug. 25th, 2010
id 8799270
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 WhatsRight (original poster member #35417) posted at 7:57 AM on Saturday, July 15th, 2023

OMG…the Euthanasia! It is 2 AM, and I laughed so hard I think I woke up everybody in the house!

And sliding out of your undies while everyone waited, and I’m guessing WATCHED!!!

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

When I had my first colonoscopy, I put a post it note on my butt that said…"If you can read this, you are too damn close!" ☺️

My sister liked the idea, and so she wrote on her Post-it note, "Objects are smaller than they appear!"

Tush…seriously, people come to the ER with various sundry objects up their hiney!" Just, WHY??? Never mind, I don’t want to know!


Ne…VER mind! Bahahahahaha! Don’t you just miss Gilda Radner?

[This message edited by WhatsRight at 8:02 AM, Saturday, July 15th]

"Noone can make you feel inferior without your concent." Eleanor Roosevelt

I will not be vanquished. Rose Kennedy

posts: 8025   ·   registered: Apr. 23rd, 2012   ·   location: Southeast USA
id 8799515
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Shehawk ( member #68741) posted at 6:38 PM on Sunday, July 16th, 2023

I am awkward. Like on the spectrum. My whole life is embarrassing lol


But today I burnt myself with coffee grounds that became pressurized in a keurig pod. Badly.

I have a good working grasp of mechanical items and physics. What I failed to realize is that the keurig pod holder was missing from the coffee pot. As in I did not get it with the machine. So the bottom of the pod did not get punctured.

Try explaining to a doctor how I got speck burns all over my chest. Making a cup of coffee.

I am hoping I can treat this myself without the need for an ER visit.

"It's a slow fade...when you give yourself away" so don't do it!

posts: 1372   ·   registered: Nov. 5th, 2018   ·   location: VA
id 8799616
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 WhatsRight (original poster member #35417) posted at 11:29 PM on Tuesday, July 18th, 2023

How are your burns?…I didn’t even feel like laughing at that one…I feel bad for you. Take care of the burns. They can get infected easily.

"Noone can make you feel inferior without your concent." Eleanor Roosevelt

I will not be vanquished. Rose Kennedy

posts: 8025   ·   registered: Apr. 23rd, 2012   ·   location: Southeast USA
id 8799944
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Shehawk ( member #68741) posted at 1:43 AM on Sunday, July 30th, 2023

Thanks Whats Right

A friend makes an amazing burn cream and the grounds thankfully were cooled a bit before hitting my chest so I am basically ok.

Just mortified that I did not notice the lack of the thing that punctures the bottom of the pod in the coffee machine… it had a grinder and a little coffee grounds holder so I had never tried a pod before.

Ugh. Next time gonna make sure that pod is punctured before hitting brew.

[This message edited by Shehawk at 1:43 AM, Sunday, July 30th]

"It's a slow fade...when you give yourself away" so don't do it!

posts: 1372   ·   registered: Nov. 5th, 2018   ·   location: VA
id 8801530
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DragnHeart ( member #32122) posted at 3:42 AM on Sunday, July 30th, 2023

I have a photo of myself proudly displaying my fishing catch of the day....my butt. Yes I hooked myself. And boy was it a big one lol

I tried to say helicopter and chopper at the same time (cause my brain does that) and it came out "helichopter".

Me: BS 46 WH: 37 (BrokenHeart911)Four little dragons. Met 2006. Married 2008. Dday of LTPA with co worker October 19th 2010. Knew about EA with ow1 before that. Now up to PA #5. Serial fucking Cheater.

posts: 25558   ·   registered: May. 10th, 2011   ·   location: Canada
id 8801538
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 WhatsRight (original poster member #35417) posted at 5:21 AM on Sunday, July 30th, 2023

You did NOT hook your ass!!!

Bahahaha

"Noone can make you feel inferior without your concent." Eleanor Roosevelt

I will not be vanquished. Rose Kennedy

posts: 8025   ·   registered: Apr. 23rd, 2012   ·   location: Southeast USA
id 8801542
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 WhatsRight (original poster member #35417) posted at 12:53 PM on Thursday, September 7th, 2023

OK, I will confess to a new UNBELIEVABLY stupid thing that I have done recently.

I was having a phone conversation with my friend who lives in Washington state. We were talking about the fact that I have a niece who is going to school in Oregon. So she asked me, "ducks or beavers?". I had no idea what she was talking about, but it turns out that those are the mascots for the main universities in Oregon. I don’t why we were being so silly, but we began to giggle a little bit about "ducks" and "beavers" being mascots. (I don’t mean to be judgemental, but that seemed very different to me.). And we were just being silly.

Somehow the conversation got around to her saying, "Actually, it is technically the "gooey ducks".
That’s what I heard, but the spelling is actually "geoduck". Evidently, coming from a landlocked area, I am ignorant about this clam that resides in Oregon.

Then she told me that if I thought the name was a little different, that I should Google a picture. If you are familiar with this particular creature, I guess you know where this is going. I guess because we had been laughing about different things throughout the whole phone conversation, we started giggling about the appearance of this clam. I even took a screenshot of the picture, and sent it to her, asking, "Are you talking about THIS?" I know, we were acting like preteen girls, but I thought it might be a picture of the wrong creature. Surely it was.

But, she texted back saying, "Am I talking about what?" I said, "The picture I sent you".

I guess you see where this is going. I thought I had texted her the picture, but I had actually texted it to my sister-in-law!!!

Bottom line, we both began to laugh so hard, we both peed a little - in our respective states.

If you are from Oregon, I certainly am not intending to insult your mascot.

And if you have never heard of this "gooey duck", google a picture.

"Noone can make you feel inferior without your concent." Eleanor Roosevelt

I will not be vanquished. Rose Kennedy

posts: 8025   ·   registered: Apr. 23rd, 2012   ·   location: Southeast USA
id 8806789
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