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Newest Member: CrazyLikeAFox

Divorce/Separation :
The final chapter

Topic is Sleeping.
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 Lolati11 (original poster member #34915) posted at 5:35 AM on Friday, May 12th, 2023

Hello family ,
So after the day 2 and confrontation he of course denied everything . We are heading to a cruise this coming Sunday a 7 night one .I will have fun and enjoy my time with the man I considered the love of my life . Today I saw him walking with the other women going to lunch , a lunch he denied when I asked him if he enjoyed lunch at work he stated it was not good , didn’t tell me he went out he thinks I didn’t see them. I was with my boss who saw them too it took me like a hurricane I don’t even know how I swallowed that sandwich , his credit card transaction confirmed that he went out on 5/5 something he denied as well , the man came home drunk trying his best to hide it and passed out at 6pm the next day he claimed he was tired .
you might ask why go on a vacation? My answer is that I want my closure , it’s pitiful but I wanted for one whole week I am going to have him just to myself and enjoy my time with him , hopefully he enjoys it as well .
i meet with my lawyer the day after we come back . I already have a very good chance at transferring to another state for another job . We work in the same establishment so not only I am leaving him, I am leaving the state as well . The evil person in me lol is so satisfied I feel like i will hit him like a category 5 hurricane , he has no idea and will not find out until , he hears I am transferring get served with divorce papers . My deal is I keep my mouth shut about you affair with your secretary, so you don’t loose your job after 39 years worth the company . you act like the supportive husband about my career move and give me everything I want from our assets, and I will disappear or else we do it the ugly way . Period end of story

Me:36Him: 53OW: a monster that I called friend before D-Day:June 20,2011
D-Day #2 February 2023
Me: 42 Him: 59 OW : 49 6kids and 3 baby dads
You made a fool out of me and she made a fool out of you

posts: 161   ·   registered: Feb. 26th, 2012
id 8790553
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fareast ( Moderator #61555) posted at 3:01 AM on Saturday, May 13th, 2023

Enjoy your cruise. You’ve earned it. You’ve got a plan to survive infidelity and move forward. Good for you. Take care of yourself. Enjoy all that the cruise has to offer. And when it’s over, you can start your new life and start to heal. Good luck.

Never bother with things in your rearview mirror. Your best days are on the road in front of you.

posts: 3876   ·   registered: Nov. 24th, 2017
id 8790753
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BearlyBreathing ( member #55075) posted at 5:38 PM on Saturday, May 13th, 2023

Have a great trip. And remember the roller coaster ride of infidelity is not quite over yet, so expect emotions to be all over the place.

BTW, I also kept my WH’s affair quiet to his work (AP wasn’t there but he abused business trips and basically lied to his boss and colleagues a lot) since he was very concerned about appearances. I didn’t exactly use it as leverage, but that was my plan if he didn’t "play nice" as we split up assets. I knew if he felt financially threatened, he would not be fair or generous with me.

Good luck!

Me: BS 55 (49 on d-day)Him: WH. 64. D-Day 8/15/2016 LTA. Kinda liking my new life :-)

**horrible typist, lots of edits to correct. :-/ **

posts: 5912   ·   registered: Sep. 10th, 2016   ·   location: Northern CA
id 8790796
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Tallgirl ( member #64088) posted at 6:40 PM on Saturday, May 13th, 2023

Good Luck, I hope your vacation is everything you want!

I read your strings. You are focussed and determined. And strong!

To be redefined

posts: 2205   ·   registered: Jun. 11th, 2018
id 8790803
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Crazytrain101 ( member #48200) posted at 8:15 PM on Saturday, May 13th, 2023

Loati11,

I am so sorry, I'm also one with a long history and it's been 8 years from original D-day. My heart hurts so much for anyone who has a BS who witnesses our pain and so selfishly chooses to cheat again.

You sound very resolute and strong with a firm plan in place. I'm sending strenght to keep the pain subsided while you enjoy your last hooray. Victory will be yours.

Much love CT101

[This message edited by Crazytrain101 at 8:15 PM, Saturday, May 13th]

8 years ago-found out he was a serial cheater-Reconciled-2015 Back again September 2022 as WH is a cheater again Heading to Divorce

posts: 1848   ·   registered: Jun. 10th, 2015   ·   location: Ohio
id 8790810
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 Lolati11 (original poster member #34915) posted at 10:29 PM on Wednesday, May 17th, 2023

Thank you all . It means a lot to feel the support from you . I actually ended up confronting him before leaving for the cruise ! The Mother’s Day flowers the happy hour the concert ticket all of it. I told him it was the final straw of course he denied ever having sex and stated she told him she only wants to be with her kids and wants to focus on Being a mom . Something that I responded to so she is ok with sex ? No string attached ? He keeps denying the sex . Didn’t deny the emotional affair stated he only feels bad for her and so nice thing for her being a single mom of five . I told him if that’s the case it should be an HEB gift card flowers and concert tickets won’t feed the kids . I told him I will let him know my final decision in a weeks time . He said that he will cut everything out , this is after he asked if he could still take her out to lunch once a week !! I was like nope I am not answering that if he dumb enough not to realize I am done that’s on him .
We are currently on our cruise I am having a great time , you might wonder if we are rekindling the love , absolutely not !! I have no intention or desire to do so I am just on vacation exploring new destination with a friend that I had for 15 years . I am not a wife I meet with a lawyer the day after we come back and still putting my self first !!!

Me:36Him: 53OW: a monster that I called friend before D-Day:June 20,2011
D-Day #2 February 2023
Me: 42 Him: 59 OW : 49 6kids and 3 baby dads
You made a fool out of me and she made a fool out of you

posts: 161   ·   registered: Feb. 26th, 2012
id 8791311
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Devon99uk ( member #82658) posted at 10:58 PM on Monday, May 22nd, 2023

Wow Lolati, what a truly amazing & strong person you are. I really admire you! Sending you love & support, you deserve it 🙌

posts: 72   ·   registered: Jan. 2nd, 2023   ·   location: South of England, UK
id 8792092
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MegMeg ( member #79978) posted at 1:51 AM on Tuesday, May 23rd, 2023

Congratulations to you, Lola! Enjoy the vaca and following through on the plan. It's a real zinger. I do hope that you are doing all this to get yourself far away from a bad marriage, and not to punish your STBXH. Revenge may be sweet, but it's messy when is spills all over the remains of a marriage. I suspect he will be thrown for a loop when you pull this off, but he will recover. He was not invested in the marriage so he will not suffer the pain as we, the betrayed, have suffered. It doesn't matter what befalls this man. You are soon to free of him and infidelity. That is your big win. I wish you the best in your new position in a new state with a new life.

Me: BS | Him: WS | Children: Grown | Married: 36 years at DDay Feb 2021

posts: 104   ·   registered: Feb. 20th, 2022   ·   location: Pulling myself out of the mire
id 8792114
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homewrecked2011 ( member #34678) posted at 3:27 AM on Tuesday, May 23rd, 2023

I secretly went to a lawyer and served him with D papers and never spoke to him again-except emails about the kids.
It was awesome to have a secret and let him get blindsided.

Sometimes He calms the storm. Sometimes He lets the storm rage, but calms His child. Dday 12/19/11I went to an attorney and had him served. Shocked the hell out of him, with D papers, I'm proud to say!D final10/30/2012Me-55

posts: 5498   ·   registered: Jan. 30th, 2012
id 8792120
Topic is Sleeping.
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