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I found the number of my husbands ex AP in his contacts list. She isn’t blocked. He blocked her a month ago (when I first found out). I confronted him and he told me that it must have happened through syncing? (We both have iPhones).

This is BS right? There were no messages on his phone and zero reason to have her number. A number doesn’t just magically reappear unblocked right??

Ugh.. I don't know about Iphones. Maybe call your carrier and ask them?

I actually insisted that my fWH change phone numbers and email addresses as well as uninstall any messaging apps he had been using. I personally blocked the one social media app he uses because he keeps up with family on it. That said, a determined cheater will find a way. My thought was to make it hard for any AP to contact him. I wasn't willing to become the marriage police, but there's no reason an AP should be able to just pick up the phone or jot off a message either.

Thanks for responding so I’ve actually just found out that the syncing excuse my husband gave me was nonsense (from a friend that works in apple store)! He blocked her number and deleted and now it’s back in his phone unblocked. No messages but he wouldn’t just have it there for no reason right?

He can delete messages. There is no reason to have it unblocked unless he wanted to send or receive messages.

He’s full of shit. Might be too early to call her exAP. :-(

Sorry.

A little backstory - caught husband texting another woman a couple of months ago. He blocked her infront of me and we vowed to make things work.

I went to get a code from his phone for our storage unit and I saw that she was back in his contacts on WhatsApp and unblocked. If they aren’t speaking hun having her number shows intent right?

There is no reason for her to be back in his contacts and unblocked. This appears that he is sitting on the fence hoping to take it under ground.

I’m sorry but he is still lying and cheating.

Had EXACT same situation wife my WW. Sorry to say he is lying. As others have pointed out, there is NO WAY a number just ‘unblocks’ on an iPhone. And using WhatsApp or another texting app is a huge red flag because then it won’t show on a phone bill call/text log.

I learned that blocking a number doesn't mean the person can't still get a call through. WH stopped talking to AP on his personal phone because he knew I could see everyone he contacts on the phone bill. When they started talking again last year after D-Day, it was strictly on his work phone. He had blocked her number and it remained blocked the entire time. However, she found a way around the block. She did something to her caller ID so when she called him, it said "no caller ID" instead of her name or number. She also did something like dial *67 (I think) to get around the block. There are instructions on how to do this online and it's a fairly simple procedure. WH initially didn't pick up the calls since he didn't know who they were from. But she left a voicemail to let him know it was her and she still wanted to talk. Hence began the further betrayal on his part. I checked his work phone periodically but he deleted her calls from his call history and her number remained blocked. Several months ago, I came across an unopened voicemail from an unknown number, so I listened to it. It was her pathetic self bitching about how he had been ignoring her, she wasn't feeling loved and he needed to get his f'ing priorities straight. He said he had decided not to speak to her anymore at that point and didn't open the voicemail because he didn't really care what she had to say.

My point is that blocking her number won't mean they can't still contact each other. He can call her with no problem and she can set up an easy way to get around the block.

I suggest you change tactics.
Last time you demanded he block her. He did, then probably opened up again for her.
Do something different now: Tell him he’s totally free to sext with her, date her, be with her… whatever. Only not as your husband. Tell him that you now simply consider him emotionally fired from that role and that he’s on severance for the moment. The legal aspect can be dealt with once you are emotionally ready for that.
If he wants the marriage then it’s not your role to tell him what numbers to block, but his role to tell you very clearly that he wants this marriage and then works at convincing you it’s over with AP. That "it’s over" can range from sharing his phone bills with you, sharing social media and passwords and whatever – but it’s HIS role to convince you.

When I found a naked pic of WH on his phone he initially lied to me and said he was sexting with people online. A month later he tells me he'd been lying, he'd actually been having an affair for over a year. I wouldn't been convinced he's only been texting AP.

The weird thing is, I almost wish that there were messages. I know, I know he could have deleted them but please, tell me if im wrong here - there is no reason for her number to be in his contacts anymore?

Reading these stories just makes my stomach turn! These lying conniving pieces of garbage just can’t grow up and quit hurting people that love them. Don’t you hate that you even have to be concerned he is at it again?

Hi sadismynewname - yeah I hate this - I just want to make sure I am not alone in thinking there is no reason for him to have her number

even if they arent currently speaking - and im only saying this as i have no proof, would you say him keeping her contact unblocked means he intends o reach out again at some point? Sorry if this is a stupid question but I am struggling as to whyelse he would have her number

I agree with Bigger. Your spouse, like a lot of WSs is just trying to continue the affair. It sounds like he is just deleting all the messages. My ex WS did the same thing and also hid women under men’s names. Your WS isn’t giving you a lot of options at this moment.

LittleEgg,
Welcome to SI. I’m sorry this is what has brought you here but glad you found us.
Trust your gut. He is lying. There is absolutely no reason for her to be unblocked in his phone unless she is contacting him again (most likely vice versa because he would have to have intentionally unblocked). At best, he "felt she deserved and explanation" for being unceremoniously ghosted and worst, he’s simply taken the A back underground. Either way, he’s decided that she is more important to him than your feelings of comfort and safety. I don’t buy that he’s simply opened the door for her to contact him again. WhatsApp messages can easily be deleted.

I’m sorry, this is so hard.

Thank you taken and emergent, I am just so confused. There is no way a contact just becomes unblocked for no reason, and he would have actively had to go in and unblock her himself. but ok, playing devils advocate, say he isnt speaking to her, him having her number there means he has an intention to?

We are in the UK so whatsapp is a popular app, it seems that she has blocked him (dont know for sure but looks that way..no photo) - which confuses me even more because she obviously doesnt want to hear from him so why keep her number there if he never has any intention of using it (if he hasnt done so already)

Are you the same person who started several very similar topics, both as supposedly a BS and a WS (plus, has a very similar writing / posting style, and basically writes the same sentences) in May last year, that got locked?

If yes, what is your real agenda?

If not, why are you so much focused on his possible intentions to reach out again? Since you know he can delete / hide messages.

No Hannah, I’m not and you shouldn’t throw accusations around.

Nah, if I wanted to accuse you, I wouldn't write it as an (honest) question. Sorry, the similarity is incredible, that's all.

OK, so, again - why do you focus so much on his possible intention to reach out again? Do you have any other reason to believe he might do that? Do you have any reason to believe he hasn't reached out already?