I’m a BH, but my WW and I have been together since high school, and we were both each other’s first and only sexual partners…..she is still my one and only, and hurts that I am not her’s.
I’ve asked my WW about this many times. She says she feels horrible that she destroyed that "special" thing that we both shared. I was also very upset on dday as she admitted to a ONS while we were dating and had I known this prior to marriage, I’m not certain we would have gotten married. So, I feel like I was robbed of my choice.
Over the years (prior to dday), when we were together with friends, the topic of sexual partners would sometimes come up. She would emphatically state I was her one and only, even though she had a ONS about 2-3 years into our relationship.
As a guy, I was always embarrassed that I had no experience other than with my WW. As I got older, I felt more and more that we did have something special.
I consider myself to be agnostic, as does my wife. But I remember the night she had her ONS vividly, and there was something I can’t explain going on that night.
My WW was in post secondary school (first semester) and I was working full time (night shift). A buddy had a place we would go to blow off some steam and invited me and my WW to join. There were about 10-12 of us going. My WW said she had too much school work to go, so I went solo. We also fought that day, ironically about my lack of proposing to her. I was a pragmatist, and didn’t see the importance of getting engaged when she had just started a nearly four year degree and we wouldn’t be getting married until she was done school and we were more established. I left for the trip with both of us unhappy with each other.
Little did I know, she went to a party with her classmates the next day (Saturday) and screwed some random classmate in the garage at this party. It was one of those scenarios that young men talk about. The guy approached my WW and said want to f#ck? Well, turns out she did, and they skipped off to the romantic garage to screw
While this was going on, I was away, having a good time, drinks flowing. A couple of the girls that were on the trip started making out next to me on a bed (this was at one of those double wide vacation type trailers) next to me. I was a bit uncomfortable, but as a young, horny male, I stayed to watch a bit. Then they two women invited me to join them. Talk about a Dear Penthouse moment….I thought about it for 1-2 seconds and said, thanks, but no thanks and left the room.
This occurred basically at the same time as my WW was screwing this random guy at a party.
I feel this was some kind of test of our relationship, I passed, and she failed miserably.
When I got home, she was upset and wanted to make up after our fight the previous Friday. I was more than happy to make up as I always wanted to marry her, but the practical side of me was thinking what’s the hurry, but I know now, she felt differently. For her, she felt like I wasn’t committed. A few months after this happened, I did tell her what I had experienced that weekend and that I felt I made the right choice in not engaging in some threesome while away from my WW. She didn’t even flinch, and now I understand why.
As I got older, I felt that what we had endured over our relationship and that we were each other’s first and only was special, so different than our friends.
Dday destroyed this "special" thing we had, and in fact, it was only special for 2-3 years until she decided to screw it up for some random guy at a party…..in a garage, just pathetic.