SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Hi everyone: I joined here 5 years ago after my wh had an affair. Then in 2019 my current husband had some kind of mental breakdown and did some stupid stuff that amounted to him flirting with other women. We have since reconciled, and were doing well, but these past few years have been really hard. In 2021 I almost died of a blood clot after some minor surgery went wrong. Also dealt with job loss, flooded home, depression, financial issues, health issues, etc. But the final straw was 6 days ago when my mother died unexpectedly of a heart attack (she was only 58) My mom and i fought alot but she has always been my rock. She was there for me through both of my major separations and financial issues, etc. She was also the only one who would ever help care for my 11 old son. (His father lives 3000 miles away. Now I don’t have a Mom and my son doesn’t have his grandma, who was like a 2nd mom. I keep looking for grief groups, but have not found any. I was wondering if anyone had any suggestions? I know that grief goes hand and hand with marital problems or endings… the pain is different, but it all hurts worse than anyone should have to bear. This group made a huge difference for me during my past marital issues so i am hoping for you support once again… thank you very much ❤️‍🩹

I don't have any group suggestions. I just wanted to say how sorry I am for your loss (((hugs)))

I'm sorry for your loss--and all that you've had to endure in recent years.

An acquaintance of mine runs a local Grief Share group. They have several locations. Maybe you could check them out?

You have been through so much in a short period of time. I am so very sorry for the loss of your mother.

Grief support is a great idea. I hope you can find something.

We are here for you if you need us.

I'm so sorry for your loss.

Hugs.

So sorry for the hand you've been dealt. That's a lot.

Most medium-sized, local hospice agencies run grief support groups, and your loved one doesn't have to have been one of their patients, nor had your loved one in hospice services. Just google local hospices in your area, and call them. If they don't offer it, ask if they know of where you might find one.

So sorry to hear of your loss. Losing our moms is so hard, and I can’t imagine so unexpectedly and so young.
I’ll echo that most hospices have or know of local grief groups. Take care of yourself, MaddyLynn.
(((Hugs)))

I’m sorry for your loss. My mom was in a griefshare group when she lost her dad and it helped a lot. I looked online and they also have groups that meet online if that helps.

My insurance has references for group therapy for grief. Maybe check that.

I am sorry for your loss!

You may want to google American heart association in your region, and see if they have any grief groups for Sudden Cardiac Death.

If that doesn't turn up anything, I agree with reaching out to the hospital she was in associated hospice program. Or call the hospital and ask for a social worker, to help you find resources, contact your PCP and ask them if they are part of an ACO then they should have a resource for you to help you find something.

If that doesn't turn up anything there is a great resource for counselors I use in my day to day work, and they may also be able to help you find a group, if you do a search for psychologytoday, that should turn up something for you. Also all the on the online therapy programs that are available should be able to link you to something.

I am so sorry for the loss of your mother, that has to be a shock to both you and your son. You may want to consider some therapy for him, or even getting him a book on grief and loss. There are several out there geared to kids.
Your H needs to be leaning in and supporting you both through this, ask for his help.

Maddylynn, I remember you posting years ago. My condolences on the sudden loss of your mother. What a shock for you and your son! I lost my mother before I was 40, but she had cancer so it wasn't a sudden event; I can't imagine this, and your son's loss, too. So much sorrow!

Hope that you can find good help here again. Others have recommended GriefShare groups and I can vouch they have a great program, so if there is any GriefShare group meeting in your area, go and see! They work on a "semester" schedule. You can come in at any time, but the materials they developed have a timeline and show how people can cope through all of it. Really helped me and some others I know.

Hospice care counselor - whom I also saw one time - unfortunately didn't want to hear about how my grieving was complicated by having had to struggle for years with an unfaithful husband, if can you believe. Hospice counselor explained that he wasn't allowed to do "that kind" of grief counseling! Sheesh. Hope that isn't their policy.

Wish I had more to offer.

I'm so sorry. So much in such a short period of time.

I'm very sorry for your loss and for all that you have had to suffer through over these years.

My FWW highly recommends a book called "Unattended Sorrow: Recovering from Loss and Reviving the Heart." It really helped her deal with her grief over the loss of her Father in the aftermath of her A. It also helped her with some coping mechanisms for her more general grief over the issues that she had and the problems they led to.

Wishing you peace.

I'm so sorry about your mom.

Hello: Thank you everyone for your thoughts and suggestions. I have purchased the suggested book and look forward to reading it. I will also keep Googling information about grief groups as I do think that I am going to need them.Calling the insurance company is also a great idea. I have used that resource for other counseling before. Thank you for the idea! Right now I am existing in a perpetual state of denial as I am unsure I would be able to function otherwise. My mother had no will or life insurance and she lived alone with my sister that just turned 18 (and is still in high school) I also just started a new job less than 2 months ago- so there is more to do than I ever could have imagined. I am grateful for all of the support. I have been through plenty of pain and injuries in my lifetime. I have had multiple unrelated surgeries, broken bones, and a blood clot that almost claimed my life- but none of that compares to this. Surviving death is not the same as surviving infidelity, but they are the two worse kinds of pain I have ever experienced. I would go through every broken bone and surgery again 10 times over if I could see my mother again- one more time. I don't want to preach, but I would urge everyone to make sure that anyone you love or care about knows it and that you treat every goodbye as if it could be your last, because you never know....Thank you again. <B

To lose a parent is hard enough, but on top of what seems like other very difficult situations - one after another...that makes it so much harder.

I am so very sorry for your loss.

Lots of prayers and good thoughts that you find the help you’re looking for. And that after the most intense part of this grief of the loss of your mother is better, that you will find some relief from all of these back to back heart aches.❤️❤️❤️