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Newest Member: 39Robbo

Off Topic :
Psa and prayers request

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Lalagirl ( member #14576) posted at 3:01 PM on Monday, December 20th, 2021

Sending huge hugs to you, sweetie; I am so sorry for this awful news. crying

Me-56 FWH-58 Married 38 years 9/2/2021 grown daughters-37 & 34 12yo GS,9yo GD&7yo. GD (DD37) and 9yo GD & 5yo GD(DD34). D-day #1 - 1/06; D-day #2 - 3/07 Reconciled! Construction Complete. Astra inclinant, sed non obligant

posts: 8658   ·   registered: May. 10th, 2007
id 8705141
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tushnurse ( member #21101) posted at 5:43 PM on Monday, December 20th, 2021

Prayers and good mojo heading you way and praying for good news after the biopsy.

Sending you strength too

Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 21 &23
Married for 28 years now, was 16 at the time.
D-Day Sept 26 2008
R'd in about 2 years. Old Vet now.

posts: 19103   ·   registered: Oct. 1st, 2008   ·   location: St. Louis
id 8705167
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dontsaylovely ( member #43688) posted at 10:08 PM on Monday, December 20th, 2021

So sorry to hear this. All hospitals under stress right now with new variant but thankful you aren't in a big centre where they are majorly overwhelmed. Best wishes.

DDay: March 15, 2014

posts: 165   ·   registered: Jun. 11th, 2014   ·   location: Canada
id 8705209
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PricklePatch ( member #34041) posted at 3:35 AM on Tuesday, December 21st, 2021

Thinking of you and your family today!

BS Fwh

posts: 3087   ·   registered: Nov. 28th, 2011
id 8705249
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WowItsReallyReal ( member #46075) posted at 4:51 AM on Tuesday, December 21st, 2021

Just wanted to say I'm sorry, & that I'm sending wishes for a good outcome your Dad's way.
Big hugs to your whole family.

posts: 1979   ·   registered: Dec. 24th, 2014
id 8705253
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MIgander ( member #71285) posted at 2:14 PM on Tuesday, December 21st, 2021

Hope you're hanging in there Drgn. How're you coping today?

posts: 298   ·   registered: Aug. 15th, 2019   ·   location: Michigan
id 8705286
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zebra25 ( member #29431) posted at 4:18 PM on Tuesday, December 21st, 2021

Thinking of you.

"Don't let anyone who hasn't been in your shoes tell you how to tie your laces."

D-day April 2010

posts: 2603   ·   registered: Aug. 25th, 2010
id 8705305
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 DragnHeart (original poster member #32122) posted at 6:39 PM on Tuesday, December 21st, 2021

Im hanging in there, from a noose, by my neck.

Some days i feel like i am drowning.


Dad had thr biopsy yesterday. Results expected Thursday. This will tell us if its chemo in a pill, chemo in an injection, both at once or thr hard core loose all your hair chemo. Also if the prognosis is weeks, months or years and if its 3-5 years or best case scenario 5-10 years.

My mom told me....prepare for the worst...hope for the best.

He gets dialysis every day. His colour is back. She didnt say anything about his eating yesterday.

Youngest brother has set dad up with a tablet and a zoom account so we can all get on together with him.

Before thst we did a video call and all of my kids got to say hi. He liked that.

Other than that, kids home sucks. And it sucks more that with thr covid cases going up dramatically chances of remote learning in January is high.

The kids are being total shits so much so i have hidden in my bedroom crying because i cant stand to be around them.

Wh boss told him that he could find himself spending alot of time at home if he doesnt start working 70+ hours/week (as in fired if he doesnt woek every weekend. Wh already does 52 hours Mon-Thursday and typically works Friday and saturday but he wanted to spend a few saturdays with the kids and thats what he got told).

So wh is grumpy.

And when the Hell did Kellogs stop making cereal??? I heard they went on strike after going to multiple stores looking for Rice Crispies with no luck. rolleyes

So much for making rice crispie squares, what am i going to do with all these marshmallows?

Me: BS 44 nowWH: 35 almost 36 (BrokenHeart911)Four little dragons.Met 2006. Married 2008. Dday of LTPA with co worker October 19th 2010. Knew about EA with ow1 before that.Full disclosure March 8th 2019 four AP's.

posts: 22805   ·   registered: May. 10th, 2011   ·   location: Canada
id 8705324
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number4 ( member #62204) posted at 10:36 PM on Tuesday, December 21st, 2021

what am i going to do with all these marshmallows?

Ummm... s'mores! You don't need a campfire!

Glad to hear your dad is feeling better, and communicating with everyone through Zoom. This has got to be a scary time for your kids, too, watching him go through this.

Me: BW
Him: WH
Married - 30+ years
Two adult daughters
1st affair: 2005-2007
2nd-4th affairs: 2016-2017
Many assessments/polygraph: no sex addiction
Status: R

posts: 883   ·   registered: Jan. 10th, 2018   ·   location: Southern California
id 8705362
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grubs ( member #77165) posted at 11:49 PM on Tuesday, December 21st, 2021

FWIW Kellogs settled today. Not that it's going to help with your shortage

posts: 888   ·   registered: Jan. 21st, 2021
id 8705372
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 DragnHeart (original poster member #32122) posted at 5:11 PM on Sunday, December 26th, 2021

Hi. Thought i would update.


My dad was discharged Thursday. He has dialysis three times per week and chemo once a week.

He is weak. Sleeps a lot. Is eating better. Happy to be home.

We did a family zoom meeting yesterday. He enjoyed seeing the kids. I had not told my kids how serious his illness was. I explained to the older kids and that set DS off big time. My dad is his fishing buddy and he cried for hours before i could get him to settle. So the zoom meeting was good for ds too.

My brothers still live with my parents. Youngest is working full time in medical transportation and delivers medical supplies and even covid vaccines to clinics etc. Older of the two is an independent tow truck driver but his business collapsed with covid restrictions. He didnt qualify for government assistance. So its fallen on him to care for my parents. He drives dad back and forth to the hospital for treatments. He does his best to make sure both mom and dad are ok but he has called me a few times to vent how
Frustrated he is that our parents are grumpy snd being difficult. Dad has been the perfect example of the grinch for years! Add in a cancer diagnosis, not being well enough to drive and my dad is just miserable.

I have to find out what services could be available to help with transportation or anything to help my brother. His car is on its last legs.

I feel helpless being so far away.

Me: BS 44 nowWH: 35 almost 36 (BrokenHeart911)Four little dragons.Met 2006. Married 2008. Dday of LTPA with co worker October 19th 2010. Knew about EA with ow1 before that.Full disclosure March 8th 2019 four AP's.

posts: 22805   ·   registered: May. 10th, 2011   ·   location: Canada
id 8706028
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zebra25 ( member #29431) posted at 7:12 PM on Sunday, December 26th, 2021

Sending you hugs and strength.

"Don't let anyone who hasn't been in your shoes tell you how to tie your laces."

D-day April 2010

posts: 2603   ·   registered: Aug. 25th, 2010
id 8706044
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MIgander ( member #71285) posted at 10:07 PM on Sunday, December 26th, 2021

Glad to hear your dad is home and getting cared for.

Not sure if you have something like this in Canada, but in MI we have an org called charity motors. They take used cars off people, fix them up until they run reliably and sell them to people who otherwise couldn't afford a reliable car.

Maybe you could see if theres something like that in your/their area and see what the family could do to chip in for your brother?

Covid stinks. I'm sorry to hear about your brothers business. Hopefully he can hang in there with your folks. In a way, its a blessing that he can help with your dad.

My sister had an admin job out of college that she quit so she could take care of my dad when he was dying. Mom had to continue teaching so we could have her insurance- otherwise the med costs would likely have bankrupted us. I was in my senior year of engineering and couldnt care for him. Without my sisters help, it would have been too much for my mom to handle. So, her having a crummy job out of college ended up being a blessing for her and my dad. They got to spend a lot of time together before he died.

Hopefully your dad gets well again and your brother can see this time as a good oppotunity to get to know your dad more deeply.

Hoping the new year holds positive things for you.

posts: 298   ·   registered: Aug. 15th, 2019   ·   location: Michigan
id 8706056
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BearlyBreathing ( member #55075) posted at 1:13 AM on Monday, December 27th, 2021

I was 3000 miles from my dad during his serious illness. It sucks. Hang there and keep doing what you can, like you are. (((Hugs)))

Me: BS 54 (49 on d-day)Him: WH. 64D-Day 8/15/2016 LTA
Kinda liking my new life :-)

**horrible typist, lots of edits to correct. :-/ **

posts: 4370   ·   registered: Sep. 10th, 2016   ·   location: Northern CA
id 8706082
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 DragnHeart (original poster member #32122) posted at 10:06 PM on Monday, December 27th, 2021

Thanks smile again

That brother is a mechanic so he is working in his car. Its more a money issue. Not being able to afford what he needs. It is shitty that while the government supplied many business grants and support that being an independent owner disqualified him from help. It is good that hes home. He took our dads truck up to his friends shop to do some work and has left it there saying it needs more work to stop my dad from driving. Dad thinks he can do whatever he wants BUT christmas day his legs buckled and mom was able to get a chair under him in time so he didnt hit the floor. Brother didnt find out about that until hours after. Makes us wonder what else mom and dad are keeping to themselves... rolleyes

Brother doesnt understand that chemo will affect dad so he freaks out a lot to me asking if he should call an ambulance. "Dad is tired. He slept all day. Omg what do i do."

Mom says that since dad is immune compromised now its best we dont visit on our Christmas now. Big D was exposed to covid positive person on the last day if school and is out of quarentine as of today but the 3 younger kids aren't vaccinated yet so its for the best.

And on top of worrying about my dad, mom and brothers i have a laundry list of shit going fucking wrong here thats got me depressed and back to feeling like my chest is being crushed.

Hopefully 2022 is a better year!

Me: BS 44 nowWH: 35 almost 36 (BrokenHeart911)Four little dragons.Met 2006. Married 2008. Dday of LTPA with co worker October 19th 2010. Knew about EA with ow1 before that.Full disclosure March 8th 2019 four AP's.

posts: 22805   ·   registered: May. 10th, 2011   ·   location: Canada
id 8706181
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WhatsRight ( member #35417) posted at 4:40 AM on Wednesday, December 29th, 2021

Thinking of you. Hope you get answers soon.

🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽

"Noone can make you feel inferior without your concent." Eleanor Roosevelt

I will not be vanquished. Rose Kennedy

posts: 7268   ·   registered: Apr. 23rd, 2012   ·   location: Southeast USA
id 8706362
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 DragnHeart (original poster member #32122) posted at 5:32 PM on Thursday, December 30th, 2021

Just a quick question ..

Dad is constipated. I dont know what he can take with this diet and thr meds he is currently on. I habe told my brother to make sure dad talks to a doctor or nurse today when he goes for chemo.

Any other advice.

He is drinking water.

Me: BS 44 nowWH: 35 almost 36 (BrokenHeart911)Four little dragons.Met 2006. Married 2008. Dday of LTPA with co worker October 19th 2010. Knew about EA with ow1 before that.Full disclosure March 8th 2019 four AP's.

posts: 22805   ·   registered: May. 10th, 2011   ·   location: Canada
id 8706531
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WhatsRight ( member #35417) posted at 2:52 PM on Wednesday, January 5th, 2022

OMG Dragn...I have just seen all this. I’m so very sorry. Such an awful time. 😢

Just a few thoughts. Some people are just not "suited" for caregiving to a parent. I’m sure your brother is going to call you with questions, and that will be hard. I know when I was taking care of both of my parents at separate times, I would panic over the smallest thing. I would call my niece who is a nurse, to ask about every little thing.

Also, I wanted to say that being as old as I am, I can see both sides about your parents maybe not sharing everything. (Like your dad’s near fall.). This is a time of sort of a role reversal. Parents switch from caregivers to care receivers. They want to remain in the caregiver role, but all of us with aging / ill parents know that this needs to shift at times like these. It’s so hard on everyone.

The uncertainty was hard for me. I wanted definitive answers, and they don’t always exist. I’m sorry for you and your family to be going through this. I will be praying for great outcomes with the dialysis and chemo.

You are a strong woman. I know you can weather this awful storm.

Please keep us posted whenever you can.

❤️❤️❤️

"Noone can make you feel inferior without your concent." Eleanor Roosevelt

I will not be vanquished. Rose Kennedy

posts: 7268   ·   registered: Apr. 23rd, 2012   ·   location: Southeast USA
id 8707614
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 DragnHeart (original poster member #32122) posted at 3:37 PM on Wednesday, January 5th, 2022

Awe thanks

So far theres nothing really new to report.

Today begins all of the new restrictions in our province. That includes postponing all non emergency surgeries. I was concerned but spoke to my mom. Dads dialysis and chemo will not stop.

I did hear about a man who was scheduled for surgery to have cancer removed and is now having to wait. So im very thankful my dad isnt in that boat and also pissed off all to hell knowing that the longer that mans surgery is delayed the less chance he has of beating his cancer. This is why wearing masks, distancing, washing hands and not gathering in Large groups is so damn important.

People complain while others die...

Me: BS 44 nowWH: 35 almost 36 (BrokenHeart911)Four little dragons.Met 2006. Married 2008. Dday of LTPA with co worker October 19th 2010. Knew about EA with ow1 before that.Full disclosure March 8th 2019 four AP's.

posts: 22805   ·   registered: May. 10th, 2011   ·   location: Canada
id 8707630
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 DragnHeart (original poster member #32122) posted at 3:42 PM on Wednesday, January 5th, 2022

Also, we will not be gathering for our Christmas celebration again this year. Theres 10 of us total and gathering limits are up to 5. We werent anywzys with dad being sick but this is really hard on all of us. Especially my mom.

She is thr last in her family to be able to do this. If i dont keep the tradition going it will die. My brothers might but they wouldn't make the traditional food. Theres like two plus weeks of food prep.

Last i spoke to my brother he said dad was helping mom make cabbage rolls. grin

Me: BS 44 nowWH: 35 almost 36 (BrokenHeart911)Four little dragons.Met 2006. Married 2008. Dday of LTPA with co worker October 19th 2010. Knew about EA with ow1 before that.Full disclosure March 8th 2019 four AP's.

posts: 22805   ·   registered: May. 10th, 2011   ·   location: Canada
id 8707632
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