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Cat- Litterbox Issue

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 truthsetmefree (original poster member #7168) posted at 4:09 PM on Sunday, November 7th, 2021

Gross alert. I need help...I am losing my mind.

Two cat household...the oldest/first one is GREAT. The second one...ay yi yi. She is 6 yrs old and this is an on-going, on/off problem. She virtually will not use the litterbox to poop. She will hold it before she will poop...until she literally can't. I've seen her poop while she is running because it has "slipped up" on her. She will poop in her bed because it "slips up" on her duh That can happen anywhere but it seems to mostly happen in MY bed...and even while I'm sleeping in it. It's disgusting. It's frustrating. I've spent many wee hours stripping a bed, sleeping without appropriate bedding, etc. I never know when a "gift" is going to show up. Occasionally, she will use the litterbox.

The bigger issue is the peeing outside the litterbox. It's sporadic. There will be a long stretch of appropriate litterbox use...and then there will be a couple of weeks of randomness. Leather sofas (in two separate rooms), upholstered dining room chairs (even when covered in plastic), a pile of clothes on the floor...and worse, again - my bed. Litterbox is scooped a minimum of 2 times/day

I've tried:
- multiple litterboxes
- litter preferences
- multiple Feliway plug-ins (consistently)
- a LitterRobot (f'ing $500!)
- multiple vet visits
- Scat Mats
- more/less attention
- spanking/scolding - which ironically seems to be the only thing that has any impact but I HATE it.

I'm truly losing my mind and am so desperate that I am literally thinking about looking for a cat whisperer or psychic -which only further makes me feel I am losing my mind. I have a good enzymatic cleaner - swaps one offensive smell for another, and just serves to remind me further that the sofa I am sitting on, the bed I am laying in, has been peed on by a cat. Psychologically, the moment an item is peed on, I just want to move it to the curb. I don't think I have gone "nose-blind"...but who the hell even knows?? It is making my home miserable. And it's definitely affecting how I actually feel about this cat.

Does anybody have ANY further suggestions for me? One of us is going to need xanax if this doesn't get resolved.

Hope has two beautiful daughters; their names are Anger and Courage. Anger at the way things are, and Courage to see that they do not remain as they are. ~ Augustine of Hippo

posts: 8724   ·   registered: May. 18th, 2005
id 8697377
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BearlyBreathing ( member #55075) posted at 4:24 PM on Sunday, November 7th, 2021

The younger of my two cats sometimes has issues as well. I took her to the vet and they determined that her urine was acidic or low pH so I have her on a different cat food which should help with that. apparently This condition space makes it sting when she pees. That seems to have helped quite a lot from her peeing in inappropriate places. She’s also the younger girl in a household with an older boy cat and although I was told they are a bonded pair, I do think there’s a personality mismatch and that’s part of my problem.

Like you I scooped the box at least twice a day and I have three boxes for two cats so that’s not the issue.

That said I do have the name and number of a pet psychic for lack of a better word who apparently is quite good. so not sure if that’s true or not -I can’t quite bring myself to do it either -but I have the name and number if you’d like a connection.

Good luck – I fully understand the challenge you have right now and the frustration

Me: BS 54 (49 on d-day)Him: WH. 64D-Day 8/15/2016 LTA
Kinda liking my new life :-)

**horrible typist, lots of edits to correct. :-/ **

posts: 4274   ·   registered: Sep. 10th, 2016   ·   location: Northern CA
id 8697381
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 truthsetmefree (original poster member #7168) posted at 4:42 PM on Sunday, November 7th, 2021

Older cat is also male…and yes, bonded but also think this is just a personality mismatch. It’s a strange thing because just about the time that I think it may be best for ALL of us to rehome the younger female, then I can clearly see they ARE bonded. They rarely ever squabble…but she is just a strange personality. She’s always been what I just called weird. First litter for her mama…and an only. Should have listened to my intuition! She’s sweet - and they always LOVE her at the vet - so it just complicates the at home issues/feelings.

I’ve read that this kind of elimination can be a form of staking claim. And I am most definitely more bonded with my male. It’s suggested that you spend more time, give more affection, to the offender, the more insecure cat. But when I do that it seems to only exasperate the issue (we just cuddled on the couch last night and now there’s pee this morning!). And how the hell do you feel affectionate toward an already weird cat that pees on your bed??? duh

Hope has two beautiful daughters; their names are Anger and Courage. Anger at the way things are, and Courage to see that they do not remain as they are. ~ Augustine of Hippo

posts: 8724   ·   registered: May. 18th, 2005
id 8697384
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Lionne ( member #25560) posted at 8:30 AM on Monday, November 8th, 2021

I don't know about the pooping. But I do have experience with peeing. One of mine had kidney failure and she was old and declining. Absentmindedly spraying in weird places, she also couldn't squat so unless she was in a covered box, it went everywhere.
My found male wasn't neutered till we found him at about age 2. Late neuters sometimes are hard to train. He detested the covered box, cannot stand if it's too wet. He was also peeing near the doors to the outside, where we have frequent visitors, raccoons, opossums, feral cats. That set off his prey drive, he needed to establish his territory.
After many, many rounds of feliway, switching to litter that is designed to attract them, nothing worked. So he is on a low dose of prozac, cheap and effective and he is not affected by it personality-wise. It works, except he is now sharing 3 litter boxes with 3 sisters and they get wet quickly. He'll protest by peeing on the rug just outside the boxes.
So, what enzymatic cleaner works for you?

Me-BS-65 in May<BR />HIM-SAFWH-68<BR />I just wanted a normal life.<BR />Normal trauma would have been appreciated.

posts: 8432   ·   registered: Sep. 18th, 2009   ·   location: In my head
id 8697479
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Myname ( member #23138) posted at 10:21 PM on Wednesday, November 10th, 2021

Some cats like when you sit with them when they eat as it makes them feel safer. Putting their head down to eat makes them vulnerable to predators.

My cat is 2 years old and she does not like to eat without someone sitting with her. When she's hungry she will ask me to sit with her. I've found that sometimes she will ask me to sit with her when she eats but then goes to her litter box instead. So I sit with her while she goes potty.

Your cat may be anxious. The fact that she has done it in the bed while you're sleeping in it may be because it's when she feels safe. She's close to you and, even though you are sleeping, she may be thinking that you are her "look out" incase any predators are around.

ETA: Obviously rule out any medical issues by taking her to the vet. But I think you said you did that already.

Try sitting with her while she eats for starters. Be her protection. If you think she has to go potty, see if you can get her to go with you sitting there.

[This message edited by Myname at 4:22 PM, November 10th (Wednesday)]

DD: 1-14-09 EA/PA OM #1
TT: 5-11&12-09
DD#2: 5-18-09 EA OM #2
5-31-09: Told me she hasn't loved me.
No kids
Me BH: 45
12-08-10: S
Divorced and moved on with my life.

posts: 4036   ·   registered: Mar. 7th, 2009   ·   location: Inside your computer.
id 8697924
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 truthsetmefree (original poster member #7168) posted at 11:39 PM on Wednesday, November 10th, 2021

Lionne - I’ve been using Rocco & Roxie for the cleaner. It seems to work better than Nature’s Miracle. It’s just really strong…it send me into coughing fits and I usually end up having to open windows.

Myname - That’s a really good idea. She is most definitely an anxious cat…and honestly, my male can be an asshole at times. She will go for me when I entice her into the litterbox so that makes a lot of sense. And I’ve also noticed that my male immediately "claims" the litterbox the moment it’s cleaned. That’s one reason multiple litter boxes haven’t worked - he claims all of them. duh

[This message edited by truthsetmefree at 11:40 PM, Wednesday, November 10th]

Hope has two beautiful daughters; their names are Anger and Courage. Anger at the way things are, and Courage to see that they do not remain as they are. ~ Augustine of Hippo

posts: 8724   ·   registered: May. 18th, 2005
id 8697933
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Myname ( member #23138) posted at 11:48 PM on Wednesday, November 10th, 2021

That’s a really good idea. She is most definitely an anxious cat…and honestly, my male can be an asshole at times. She will go for me when I entice her into the litterbox so that makes a lot of sense. And I’ve also noticed that my male immediately "claims" the litterbox the moment it’s cleaned.

This is the issue almost definitely. She's scared to go to the bathroom.

She trusts you which is why she will go when you are there. Which is pretty cool if you ask me. Pay attention because she will at some point give you some kind of cue, either verbal or body language, for when she has to go. If you notice it and respond right away she will learn how to "talk" to you.

A longer term solution may be getting her a litter box that only she can get to. With another cat in the house that may be a difficult task but I think if she had her own litter box that she can only access she may use it without you.

DD: 1-14-09 EA/PA OM #1
TT: 5-11&12-09
DD#2: 5-18-09 EA OM #2
5-31-09: Told me she hasn't loved me.
No kids
Me BH: 45
12-08-10: S
Divorced and moved on with my life.

posts: 4036   ·   registered: Mar. 7th, 2009   ·   location: Inside your computer.
id 8697935
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barcher144 ( member #54935) posted at 1:13 AM on Thursday, November 11th, 2021

Does anybody have ANY further suggestions for me? One of us is going to need xanax if this doesn't get resolved.

My girlfriend literally puts her cat on prozac and it seems to help. I think that you were joking... but maybe not?

Me: BH, age 48
Her: WS, age 45 (multiple EAs and PAs)
D-Day: August 30, 2016

Diagnosed with depression in December 2016, which was primarily caused by my xWW's affair and associated emotional abuse.

posts: 5142   ·   registered: Aug. 31st, 2016
id 8697945
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SoHappyNow ( member #8923) posted at 6:45 PM on Wednesday, November 17th, 2021

I HAVE used an animal psychic twice. With success. It helped me to help my mini poodle.

In the depths of winter I finally learned there was in me an invincible summer..Albert Camus--------73 now. Dday #1 was 11/11/05 ***Used to be hit-by-a-train*** Widowed, then VERY happily remarried 2/14/14

posts: 2671   ·   registered: Nov. 23rd, 2005   ·   location: USA
id 8698919
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TheRedQueen ( new member #57851) posted at 7:38 AM on Thursday, November 18th, 2021

Good luck with that one, I know the pain! We had a young desexed male cat who at about 1 year of age suddenly started going everywhere but in the litter box for poo, but would use it for wee not a problem. We tried extra large litter boxes, several litter boxes, different litter, different food, covered litter boxes, uncovered litter boxes, almost a box in every room. He was worst at night. We even tried locking him in one room with a fresh litter box and his food and water every night. Some mornings all was well and he’d been in the right place but some mornings there would be shit less than 5 cms from the box and some mornings he would rush out and not long after there would be a fresh poo somewhere in the house. After a year of trying I couldn’t handle the work and frustration anymore and I rehomed him to live in a shed on someone’s property.

So unfortunately while I’m hoping that you find a solution I have to say I was not successful.

"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass. It's about learning how to dance in the rain."

Me - BW (40) Him - WH (42)
2 Teenagers, 1 Younger Child

D-Day Feb 2016 +

Still married, not feeling it.....

posts: 2   ·   registered: Mar. 15th, 2017   ·   location: Australia
id 8699016
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LostInHisFog ( member #78503) posted at 12:12 AM on Friday, November 19th, 2021

My male cat started to do the same thing around the 9th year, I didn't find the solution for years, he had kidney issues so we all thought that was the culprit but still never found a fix. One night stuck on a google hunt I came across a random post about someone else who had this issue and they said it turned out the cat hated the feeling of store bought litter, all the different kinds, and said what fixed it was trying to "hide" the litter under different materials, the successful ones being foam pellets and rice. Also said they had to set up a room where the cat was quarantined, food, bedding and litter was in there to encourage the use of the new litters.

I've tried everything at this point so I set up my kitty hotel room and started trying different litters, was amazed that cotton balls and shredded paper was what worked for him. Paper being the cheaper option so I continued with that, then I moved the litter box out in the house (but well away from other cat's litter box) and sure enough he was more than happy to start using that again.

I edit because I'm fluent in typo & autocorrect hates me.

posts: 218   ·   registered: Mar. 14th, 2021
id 8699158
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DragnHeart ( member #32122) posted at 12:21 AM on Friday, November 19th, 2021

LostInHisFog is onto something.

My sphynx cat hates litter. But he loves to use the pig litter box which is wood shavings and ripped up newspaper (the newspapers the pig shreds herself, it gives her something to do).

I don't know if the pig minds the cat using her litter box. I do know the cats dont appreciate the pigs trying to use theirs lol (my DD's cat doesnt like it one bit).

Me: BS 44 nowWH: 35 almost 36 (BrokenHeart911)Four little dragons.Met 2006. Married 2008. Dday of LTPA with co worker October 19th 2010. Knew about EA with ow1 before that.Full disclosure March 8th 2019 four AP's.

posts: 22354   ·   registered: May. 10th, 2011   ·   location: Canada
id 8699159
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Lionne ( member #25560) posted at 12:19 AM on Thursday, November 25th, 2021

I've been having a recent problem with the male of my pride, a something year old neutered male among 3 females. He was peeing on the expensive plastic mat I bought to trap tracked litter.
I bought a bag of a litter box attractant. It was cheapish and you use only a little bit. It seems to be working.
Unless he's peeing elsewhere where I haven't detected it yet.

Me-BS-65 in May<BR />HIM-SAFWH-68<BR />I just wanted a normal life.<BR />Normal trauma would have been appreciated.

posts: 8432   ·   registered: Sep. 18th, 2009   ·   location: In my head
id 8700061
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