My ex is a narcissist. I'm not qualified to diagnose him but I have a lot of evidence LOL.
Anyway he is extremely selfish, and I was so codependent that I just went along with whatever he wanted to appease him and make him happy. I WAS SO WEAK.
Like if I was watching a show on TV and he came home in the middle of my show and he wanted to watch something else, it was understood that the channel would be getting changed.
I'm not claiming victim status, because I allowed this. I ALLOWED IT which boggles my mind now. I fucking allowed it! I wasn't a victim, I was a volunteer.
I am not the same person I was four years ago, trust and believe.
Well anyway there's a bakery in a quaint former gold mining town about 50 miles from my house, that's famous for their pies. So much so that sometimes local grocery stores carry the pies, but they're kind of hard to find, because they are baked fresh at the bakery.
But it's kind of a thing, that people here do for a day trip. You drive an hour, go to this quaint town, you browse the antique stores, you walk around looking at things, you have lunch, and get a pie on your way out of town, to take home for later.
I love strawberry rhubarb pie. But whenever we went to this town and stopped for a pie, I was not allowed to get it. He likes dutch apple. He doesn't like strawberry rhubarb. So guess which pie we always got.
I wasn't allowed to get 2 pies, that would be "too much". No. The pies run $15-20 each so we "just need one", so we could only have one flavor, of course, and it always had to be the flavor he wanted. In 24 years of marriage, we went to this town at least once every year, and never once did I get that flavor of pie.
So I wrap up my legal stuff today that's about 5 miles from this pie town. So, really close.
And I run into the grocery next door for aluminum foil which I had forgot the other day.
I walk in the door and right in front is a table with all these bakery pies from this pie shop. I walked over and looked down, right on top is strawberry rhubarb. I said fuck it I'm getting this pie.
And then I grabbed one of "his" pies--dutch apple. I was headed to see a friend after, and I thought, hmm I'll bring them a little gift.
Bought them both, and I took the dutch apple to my dear friends and dropped it off as a gift. It's divorce pie. I want them to enjoy something he would enjoy, and that he will never enjoy again because he moved out of state away from this pie shop. He doesn't get this pie. I bought it for someone else LOL.
They laughed and laughed and said, we won't think of him when we're eating it. We'll think of you, and how kind you were to bring us this delicious gift LOL. (Everyone loves this pie and it's hard to come by unless you drive an hour, so I will say it was a pretty great gift LOL).
Now I look back and think holy fuck, woman. What were you doing with that clown? He couldn't spare you $15 to get the flavor pie you wanted, not once in 24 years of marriage? NOT ONCE. But he dropped tens of thousands of dollars on all kinds of garbage that he wanted for himself. He'd buy $200 biking gloves that he wore maybe twice.
Never. Doing. That. Again.
I'm worth the pie, sisters and brothers. I AM WORTH THE PIE.
Also it's fucking delicious. I've eaten about a third of it already and my stomach hurts. I am already anticipating tomorrow morning breakfast, I'll have a nice cup of coffee and my pie.