Newest Member: Butterfly19

Just Found Out :
My Wife is Cheating and I'm Glad

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Marz ( member #60895) posted at 9:52 PM on Tuesday, October 5th, 2021

I’d stay out of the mother/son issue and let them work it out.

posts: 6685   ·   registered: Oct. 3rd, 2017
id 8691763
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Aletheia ( member #79172) posted at 9:58 PM on Tuesday, October 5th, 2021

TWO -
Phew. But did she tell you why she said nothing to you if she knew?

Your best must be just as glorious as your betrayal was destructive.

Don’t allow people to “Life is short” you to amend bad relationships. Forgiveness /= reconciliation. Leave them people where they are. Life was short when they did what they did.

posts: 210   ·   registered: Jul. 25th, 2021   ·   location: Everywhere & nowhere
id 8691764
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Bigger ( Guide #8354) posted at 12:34 PM on Wednesday, October 6th, 2021

Be careful.

The goal is to get out of infidelity. The goal isn’t divorce – that’s just a tool to help you get out of infidelity.
If your actions and thoughts are controlled or majorly impacted by actions your wife could or could not be doing… you are still in infidelity. Divorce is not really an alternative form of relationship with your wife. It’s more of a non-relationship.

Granted you have your son in common and that creates a need for some interaction, but that should/could be minimal.
Work at detaching. You don’t want (or need) to feel hate or sorry or sympathy or resentment for your ex wife. You want to feel indifferent.

"If, therefore, any be unhappy, let him remember that he is unhappy by reason of himself alone." Epictetus

posts: 9900   ·   registered: Sep. 29th, 2005
id 8691800
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 TheWrongOne (original poster member #78753) posted at 5:56 PM on Wednesday, October 13th, 2021

So I wanted to update and say that I did take that receptionist out for coffee over the weekend and it went really well. We talked for a couple of hours and I am taking her on a real date again this weekend. She is sweet and sexy and I can't wait. I'm as giddy as a schoolboy.

The XWW did reach out to me via a text from someone else's phone over the weekend. "Telling M...'s wife about what we did was not right. Now his marriage is ruined. Hope you feel good about yourself."

I just answered back "Aw poor petunia. The chickens are coming home to roost and shitting all over your head huh?" " and left it at that.

[This message edited by TheWrongOne at 5:57 PM, Wednesday, October 13th]

posts: 190   ·   registered: May. 6th, 2021
id 8692949
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Happenedtome2 ( member #68906) posted at 6:11 PM on Wednesday, October 13th, 2021

Have a great time with the new lady and...well....petunia can go scratch

BH
DDay August 2018
Current situation : Still married, great at times, uneasy at others.
My original post :
https://www.survivinginfidelity.com/forums.asp?tid=633451

posts: 459   ·   registered: Nov. 23rd, 2018
id 8692955
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asc1226 ( member #75363) posted at 6:29 PM on Wednesday, October 13th, 2021

"Telling M...'s wife about what we did was not right. Now his marriage is ruined. Hope you feel good about yourself."

Accountability is definitely not her strong point. For the sake of of her future partners, maybe she could confine herself to men in open relationships. Like wide open. The fewer the rules the better.

I make edits, words is hard

posts: 376   ·   registered: Sep. 7th, 2020
id 8692961
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BlueRaspberry ( member #76065) posted at 7:08 PM on Wednesday, October 13th, 2021

TheWrongOne,

The XWW did reach out to me via a text from someone else's phone over the weekend. "Telling M...'s wife about what we did was not right. Now his marriage is ruined. Hope you feel good about yourself."

Your XW is a real piece of work. She voluntarily destroyed two marriages but you simply telling the truth is "not right". Wow. Just wow. By the way, his marriage was ruined anyway since the OBS was aware of multiple infidelities with other partners. Perhaps you XW should get an STD test since she was one of many side pieces for Romeo. The fact that she is a preacher's daughter is unbelievable. What a paragon of morality... laugh

posts: 231   ·   registered: Dec. 29th, 2020
id 8692971
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Thumos ( member #69668) posted at 7:29 PM on Wednesday, October 13th, 2021

Blaming you for the marriage she actually wrecked. That's rich. Some classic wayward logic there, and yet more confirmation you are on the right path getting free and clear from her.

She sent you that text more than likely bc her AP is probably running away from her and telling her he is going to try to salvage his marriage. So her options suddenly have dried up.

"True character is revealed in the choices a human being makes under pressure. The greater the pressure, the deeper the revelation, the truer the choice to the character's essential nature."

BH (me): 50, WW: 49 Married: Feb. 1996 DDAY1: 12.20.16 DDAY2:

posts: 4301   ·   registered: Feb. 5th, 2019   ·   location: UNITED STATES
id 8692976
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Marz ( member #60895) posted at 7:32 PM on Wednesday, October 13th, 2021

The truth getting out will probably get you some closure. You did the right thing in informing the other spouse. Now that’s done it should help you move on.

Let poor muffin deal with her choices.

Sounds like you’ve got her blocked. Your son is an adult so there’s no need for any interaction going forward.

posts: 6685   ·   registered: Oct. 3rd, 2017
id 8692977
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guvensiz ( member #75858) posted at 8:58 PM on Wednesday, October 13th, 2021

Hope you feel good about yourself.

Did she have any doubts about it?

Of course, this is something that will make you feel amazing.

Good luck with new lady.

posts: 501   ·   registered: Nov. 14th, 2020
id 8693008
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src9043 ( member #75367) posted at 9:08 PM on Wednesday, October 13th, 2021

Bravo!

posts: 430   ·   registered: Sep. 7th, 2020
id 8693009
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M1965 ( member #57009) posted at 9:27 PM on Wednesday, October 13th, 2021

As somebody here wrote recently, "No-one is the villain in their own story". Your wife cheated on you twice. Her latest AP cheated on his wife with more women than just your wife. And now your ex-WW feels qualified to scold you in matters of conscience? It is mind-boggling. And to ask you to feel bad because her AP's marriage is 'ruined'? Unbelievable. How troubled do she and the AP feel about blowing your marriage out of the water?

You couldn't make this stuff up. You did the right thing, and the cheaters are p*ssed about facing the consequences of their actions.

[This message edited by M1965 at 9:28 PM, Wednesday, October 13th]

posts: 1183   ·   registered: Jan. 21st, 2017   ·   location: South East of England
id 8693013
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SnowToArmPits ( member #50943) posted at 11:07 PM on Wednesday, October 13th, 2021

I just answered back "Aw poor petunia. The chickens are coming home to roost and shitting all over your head huh?"


laugh

posts: 358   ·   registered: Dec. 25th, 2015   ·   location: Canada
id 8693036
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Buffer ( member #71664) posted at 11:17 PM on Wednesday, October 13th, 2021

Good comeback to ex w

laugh

[This message edited by Buffer at 11:27 PM, Wednesday, October 13th]

Buffer

posts: 1199   ·   registered: Sep. 24th, 2019   ·   location: Australia
id 8693039
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HalfTime2017 ( member #64366) posted at 11:57 PM on Wednesday, October 13th, 2021

Awesome update.

Karma is best served with Petunias laugh laugh laugh

Amazing how you ruined their marriage, when your WW chose to spread her legs. duh

posts: 1169   ·   registered: Jul. 5th, 2018   ·   location: Cali
id 8693053
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Marz ( member #60895) posted at 12:08 AM on Thursday, October 14th, 2021

Petunia was just doing Gods will. I bet daddy is beside him as muffins world implodes.

[This message edited by Marz at 12:09 AM, Thursday, October 14th]

posts: 6685   ·   registered: Oct. 3rd, 2017
id 8693056
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 TheWrongOne (original poster member #78753) posted at 1:03 AM on Thursday, October 14th, 2021

Sickens me that this woman goes to church nd acts all godly. Blech!

posts: 190   ·   registered: May. 6th, 2021
id 8693067
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LostInHisFog ( member #78503) posted at 1:20 AM on Thursday, October 14th, 2021

The XWW did reach out to me via a text from someone else's phone over the weekend. "Telling M...'s wife about what we did was not right. Now his marriage is ruined. Hope you feel good about yourself."

If we had a dollar for every time a wayward blames the destruction of APs marriage on us (BS) when we contact the OBS we would have enough money to not only not be scared of starting a new life but to help all the other BS legal fees moving forward.

Goodness, I can't even, truly head firmly in the clouds your WW. laugh

[This message edited by LostInHisFog at 1:21 AM, Thursday, October 14th]

I edit because I'm fluent in typo & autocorrect hates me.

posts: 175   ·   registered: Mar. 14th, 2021
id 8693069
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ramius ( member #44750) posted at 7:34 AM on Thursday, October 14th, 2021

Cheaters, nothing if not predictable.

How dare they suffer consequences for acting in such a horrid way.

How many scars have you rationalized because you loved the person who was holding the knife?

Their actions reveal their intentions. Their words conceal them.

posts: 1608   ·   registered: Sep. 3rd, 2014
id 8693093
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OrdinaryDude ( member #55676) posted at 11:49 AM on Thursday, October 14th, 2021

Sickens me that this woman goes to church nd acts all godly. Blech!

Exactly why I no longer have anything to do with church.

Other than a wedding or funeral, I’ll have nothing to do with it.

Me - BH 50+
Her - WW 50+
Married 30+ years, 2 adult kids
(1989) PA Rug-Swept
(2002) EA Rug-Swept
(2016) EA *Getting Out Of Infidelity*

**Working at Reconciling**

posts: 3381   ·   registered: Oct. 19th, 2016   ·   location: The Big Easy
id 8693100
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