SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

I have gone forward with some big plans to remodel my house

When my XW finally left, I painted her room bright yellow and orange, the colour of sunshine and happiness… to exorcise her presence!

It’s surprising you’ve heard nothing from her daddy warbucks. Amazing he hasn’t tried sticking his nose back into this but I’d bet he’s working diligently behind the scenes but when the other betrayed spouse gets the info all hell will break loose. It’s best to stay clear so you don’t get the splatter on you.

Good work, man. Thanks for the update and very glad to hear you are on the path to healing.

T.W.O. - I’ve followed your story but I don’t think I posted. Congratulations!! Good luck with the remodeling. And with OBS

TWO, I have followed all along but opted not to post as you were getting good help and I had nothing to offer. And as happy as I am for you, I can't help get the feeling your wife has admitted to herself that this was her doing and she's reaping what she has sown. I hope the very best for you and all your future endeavors.

Brother you never needed her permission to inform on the AP!
I always say ‘Nah fuck that’. Let his BS know as well, she has the right to know.
One day at a time.

The AP's wife called me yesterday and we had a long talk. She was actually quite friendly which shocked me. The only time she got mad was when she asked me why I had not told her sooner and I told her I was under a gag from may lawyer. Yeah I lied like a chicken shit but I didn't know what else to say without pissing her off. She seemed to buy that and she told me that she is divorcing her husband and that she knows he has been cheating with several women including my ex. She thanked me for the dossier of materials I sent her and says it should prove useful in taking her POS to the cleaners.

I asked her if she knew if my ex and her WH were still seeing each other and she told me he denied it.

Thanks for the update, TWO. I'm glad you reached out to the OBS and that, in doing so, you've helped her. Seems he's a serial cheater, too. Birds of a feather.

Glad you nipped it in the bud and got out of this situation. With your ex-WW sleeping with this man as he's carrying on with several other women (who are probably sleeping with their SO's and husbands, or sleeping with other AP's) the chances of STD/STI transmission are extremely high. Essentially, it looks like your ex-WW has exposed herself to genital microbiomes of an ever-ramified geometric progression of men and women. Puts her offer to have sex with you not too long ago in sharp relief.

TheWrongOne,

Any blowback from the XW? I'm wondering if the OBS will make trouble for her now that the OBS has proof of the affair.

You have always described the other betrayed spouse as an angry firecracker. A headache to be avoided. You wisely kept quiet to avoid dragging out and complicating your divorce. You acted in your own best interest first which so many fail to do in your place.

Thanks to the evidence you provided to the OBS, your ex wife will likely find a fire under her feet and attempt to reach out to you. Fix up some popcorn or perhaps find a nice pair of noise cancelling headphones to wear.

I asked her if she knew if my ex and her WH were still seeing each other and she told me he denied it.

They always say this. Doesn't matter if the papers have been filed and the trial set. They always need to deny it one last time as if they are on the straight and narrow and their BS might care. I'd take it with a large grain of salt.

Good job! It probably felt good to get that off your chest and out of the way.

Now onward and upward. You can block them all now. No need for any contact.

No blowback from XWW because there is no way she can contact me. I have blocked her. If she needs to get a message to me she can tell our son. But no, I have not heard anything.

Did you report them to their company's HR too?

No I am not going to jeopardize her employment. I'm only going so far with this.

TheWrongOne,

You've done the right thing by notifying the OBS. You're not obligated to go above and beyond unless its in your best interest. Earlier, you said

...the affair partner is a guy who is a subcontractor to the construction company she works for. She and I have both known him for many years and I know his wife pretty well. My wife is the CFO of her company and is in a position where she manages all the money going in and out of the company.

The affair partner is an electrician. I am a structural engineer and I do consulting work for my wife's company. I know most of the project managers and executives there and if any of them were to find out through the grapevine that she and this guy were hooking up and that is what ended our marriage it could cause issues for her.

Now that you're divorced, do you think your XW could begin to steer work away from you given her position as CFO? Nothing overt, but over time begin to phase you out in favor of other structural engineers. After all, why does she want you around her workplace? Remember, she's shown you she doesn't have much of a moral compass and doesn't care about you. Notifying the company could inoculate you against losing work if that is a large chunk of your income. Just a thought...

It is possible she could try to blackball me, but unlikely. I am usually hired by the architect or client for a particular project, not the general contractor who she works for.

That's good news - looks like you've covered all your bases.

On another topic, how is your son doing? More importantly, how are you doing? Any luck with the receptionist?

[This message edited by BlueRaspberry at 6:38 PM, Tuesday, October 5th]

My son and his mom are taking it day by day. His trust in her has been shattered and she has been good to him: not losing her temper or being defensive with him when he asks questions. TBH I don't really know what is going on between them because I never ask him.

As for the receptionist, I'm still schmoozing her when I get the chance but have not asked her out yet.