Newest Member: HeartbrokenWife76

Just Found Out :
My Wife is Cheating and I'm Glad

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ShutterHappy ( member #64318) posted at 7:35 PM on Tuesday, September 21st, 2021

I have gone forward with some big plans to remodel my house

When my XW finally left, I painted her room bright yellow and orange, the colour of sunshine and happiness… to exorcise her presence! laugh

Me: BH
Divorced, remarried.
I plan on living forever. So far so good

posts: 1440   ·   registered: Jun. 30th, 2018   ·   location: In my house
id 8689585
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Marz ( member #60895) posted at 10:58 PM on Tuesday, September 21st, 2021

It’s surprising you’ve heard nothing from her daddy warbucks. Amazing he hasn’t tried sticking his nose back into this but I’d bet he’s working diligently behind the scenes but when the other betrayed spouse gets the info all hell will break loose. It’s best to stay clear so you don’t get the splatter on you.

posts: 6685   ·   registered: Oct. 3rd, 2017
id 8689633
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Thumos ( member #69668) posted at 11:47 PM on Tuesday, September 21st, 2021

Good work, man. Thanks for the update and very glad to hear you are on the path to healing.

"True character is revealed in the choices a human being makes under pressure. The greater the pressure, the deeper the revelation, the truer the choice to the character's essential nature."

BH (me): 50, WW: 49 Married: Feb. 1996 DDAY1: 12.20.16 DDAY2:

posts: 4301   ·   registered: Feb. 5th, 2019   ·   location: UNITED STATES
id 8689640
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Aletheia ( member #79172) posted at 2:36 AM on Wednesday, September 22nd, 2021

T.W.O. - I’ve followed your story but I don’t think I posted. Congratulations!! Good luck with the remodeling. And with OBS laugh

Your best must be just as glorious as your betrayal was destructive.

Don’t allow people to “Life is short” you to amend bad relationships. Forgiveness /= reconciliation. Leave them people where they are. Life was short when they did what they did.

posts: 210   ·   registered: Jul. 25th, 2021   ·   location: Everywhere & nowhere
id 8689653
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thatbpguy ( member #58540) posted at 4:11 AM on Wednesday, September 22nd, 2021

TWO, I have followed all along but opted not to post as you were getting good help and I had nothing to offer. And as happy as I am for you, I can't help get the feeling your wife has admitted to herself that this was her doing and she's reaping what she has sown. I hope the very best for you and all your future endeavors.

ME: BH Her: WW DDay 1, R; DDay 2, R; DDay 3, I left; Divorced Remarried to a wonderful woman

"There are far, far better things ahead than any we leave behind." C.S. Lewis

As a dog returns to his vomit, so a fool repeats his folly...

posts: 4458   ·   registered: May. 2nd, 2017   ·   location: Vancouver, WA
id 8689661
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Buffer ( member #71664) posted at 8:01 PM on Thursday, September 23rd, 2021

Brother you never needed her permission to inform on the AP!
I always say ‘Nah fuck that’. Let his BS know as well, she has the right to know.
One day at a time.

Buffer

posts: 1199   ·   registered: Sep. 24th, 2019   ·   location: Australia
id 8689893
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 TheWrongOne (original poster member #78753) posted at 9:56 PM on Monday, September 27th, 2021

The AP's wife called me yesterday and we had a long talk. She was actually quite friendly which shocked me. The only time she got mad was when she asked me why I had not told her sooner and I told her I was under a gag from may lawyer. Yeah I lied like a chicken shit but I didn't know what else to say without pissing her off. She seemed to buy that and she told me that she is divorcing her husband and that she knows he has been cheating with several women including my ex. She thanked me for the dossier of materials I sent her and says it should prove useful in taking her POS to the cleaners.

I asked her if she knew if my ex and her WH were still seeing each other and she told me he denied it.

posts: 190   ·   registered: May. 6th, 2021
id 8690510
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steadychevy ( member #42608) posted at 10:14 PM on Monday, September 27th, 2021

Thanks for the update, TWO. I'm glad you reached out to the OBS and that, in doing so, you've helped her. Seems he's a serial cheater, too. Birds of a feather.

BH(me)70; XWW 64; M 42 yrs
DDay1-01/09/13;DDay2-26/10/13;DDay3-19/12/13;DDay4-21/01/14
LTA-09/02-06/06? OM - COW
"dates" w/3 lovers post engagement;ONS w/stranger post commitment, lies, lies, lies
Separated 23/09/2017; D 16/03/2020

posts: 4674   ·   registered: Feb. 27th, 2014   ·   location: Canada
id 8690513
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Thumos ( member #69668) posted at 10:15 PM on Monday, September 27th, 2021

Glad you nipped it in the bud and got out of this situation. With your ex-WW sleeping with this man as he's carrying on with several other women (who are probably sleeping with their SO's and husbands, or sleeping with other AP's) the chances of STD/STI transmission are extremely high. Essentially, it looks like your ex-WW has exposed herself to genital microbiomes of an ever-ramified geometric progression of men and women. Puts her offer to have sex with you not too long ago in sharp relief.

"True character is revealed in the choices a human being makes under pressure. The greater the pressure, the deeper the revelation, the truer the choice to the character's essential nature."

BH (me): 50, WW: 49 Married: Feb. 1996 DDAY1: 12.20.16 DDAY2:

posts: 4301   ·   registered: Feb. 5th, 2019   ·   location: UNITED STATES
id 8690514
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BlueRaspberry ( member #76065) posted at 10:24 PM on Monday, September 27th, 2021

TheWrongOne,

Any blowback from the XW? I'm wondering if the OBS will make trouble for her now that the OBS has proof of the affair.

posts: 231   ·   registered: Dec. 29th, 2020
id 8690516
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smolderingdark ( member #64064) posted at 10:38 PM on Monday, September 27th, 2021

You have always described the other betrayed spouse as an angry firecracker. A headache to be avoided. You wisely kept quiet to avoid dragging out and complicating your divorce. You acted in your own best interest first which so many fail to do in your place.

Thanks to the evidence you provided to the OBS, your ex wife will likely find a fire under her feet and attempt to reach out to you. Fix up some popcorn or perhaps find a nice pair of noise cancelling headphones to wear.

posts: 136   ·   registered: Jun. 7th, 2018
id 8690521
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nekonamida ( member #42956) posted at 12:09 AM on Tuesday, September 28th, 2021

I asked her if she knew if my ex and her WH were still seeing each other and she told me he denied it.

They always say this. Doesn't matter if the papers have been filed and the trial set. They always need to deny it one last time as if they are on the straight and narrow and their BS might care. I'd take it with a large grain of salt.

posts: 5011   ·   registered: Mar. 31st, 2014   ·   location: United States
id 8690542
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Marz ( member #60895) posted at 3:06 AM on Tuesday, September 28th, 2021

Good job! It probably felt good to get that off your chest and out of the way.

Now onward and upward. You can block them all now. No need for any contact.

posts: 6685   ·   registered: Oct. 3rd, 2017
id 8690563
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 TheWrongOne (original poster member #78753) posted at 10:18 PM on Monday, October 4th, 2021

No blowback from XWW because there is no way she can contact me. I have blocked her. If she needs to get a message to me she can tell our son. But no, I have not heard anything.

posts: 190   ·   registered: May. 6th, 2021
id 8691610
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beb252 ( member #78948) posted at 10:43 AM on Tuesday, October 5th, 2021

Did you report them to their company's HR too?

posts: 387   ·   registered: Jun. 14th, 2021
id 8691668
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 TheWrongOne (original poster member #78753) posted at 1:54 PM on Tuesday, October 5th, 2021

No I am not going to jeopardize her employment. I'm only going so far with this.

posts: 190   ·   registered: May. 6th, 2021
id 8691682
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BlueRaspberry ( member #76065) posted at 3:19 PM on Tuesday, October 5th, 2021

TheWrongOne,

You've done the right thing by notifying the OBS. You're not obligated to go above and beyond unless its in your best interest. Earlier, you said

...the affair partner is a guy who is a subcontractor to the construction company she works for. She and I have both known him for many years and I know his wife pretty well. My wife is the CFO of her company and is in a position where she manages all the money going in and out of the company.

The affair partner is an electrician. I am a structural engineer and I do consulting work for my wife's company. I know most of the project managers and executives there and if any of them were to find out through the grapevine that she and this guy were hooking up and that is what ended our marriage it could cause issues for her.

Now that you're divorced, do you think your XW could begin to steer work away from you given her position as CFO? Nothing overt, but over time begin to phase you out in favor of other structural engineers. After all, why does she want you around her workplace? Remember, she's shown you she doesn't have much of a moral compass and doesn't care about you. Notifying the company could inoculate you against losing work if that is a large chunk of your income. Just a thought...

posts: 231   ·   registered: Dec. 29th, 2020
id 8691696
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 TheWrongOne (original poster member #78753) posted at 6:13 PM on Tuesday, October 5th, 2021

It is possible she could try to blackball me, but unlikely. I am usually hired by the architect or client for a particular project, not the general contractor who she works for.

posts: 190   ·   registered: May. 6th, 2021
id 8691739
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BlueRaspberry ( member #76065) posted at 6:36 PM on Tuesday, October 5th, 2021

That's good news - looks like you've covered all your bases.

On another topic, how is your son doing? More importantly, how are you doing? Any luck with the receptionist? smile

[This message edited by BlueRaspberry at 6:38 PM, Tuesday, October 5th]

posts: 231   ·   registered: Dec. 29th, 2020
id 8691744
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 TheWrongOne (original poster member #78753) posted at 9:05 PM on Tuesday, October 5th, 2021

My son and his mom are taking it day by day. His trust in her has been shattered and she has been good to him: not losing her temper or being defensive with him when he asks questions. TBH I don't really know what is going on between them because I never ask him.

As for the receptionist, I'm still schmoozing her when I get the chance but have not asked her out yet.

posts: 190   ·   registered: May. 6th, 2021
id 8691760
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