Newest Member: girlangry89

Just Found Out :
My Wife is Cheating and I'm Glad

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oldmanchris ( New Member #78645) posted at 1:04 AM on Tuesday, August 31st, 2021

Heya bud. I know it’s a nauseating roller-coaster ride right now, but I hope you’re all right.

Feo fuerte y formale

posts: 18   ·   registered: Apr. 13th, 2021
id 8686335
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 TheWrongOne (original poster Member #78753) posted at 9:28 PM on Wednesday, September 1st, 2021

Hi everyone!

Well.. she... is... gone.

She packed up the last of her things and left this afternoon. Before she got in her car she actually came over and gave me a hug and said something to the effect of "I never wanted it to end this way you know."

I put on the best fake serious understanding look on my face and just smiled a sad smile, nodded, and she got in her car and left. Then I just started smiling and I am still smiling. grin

posts: 180   ·   registered: May. 6th, 2021
id 8686666
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Blandy ( Member #79252) posted at 9:34 PM on Wednesday, September 1st, 2021

Congrats! You've earned that smile!

posts: 59   ·   registered: Aug. 8th, 2021   ·   location: TX
id 8686667
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beb252 ( Member #78948) posted at 9:38 PM on Wednesday, September 1st, 2021

FREEDOM!
She never wanted it to end this way, but all her actions lead up to ending this way.

Congrats on your newfound freedom. I honestly hope your STBXW change her behavior though, but from what I see she'll just find another guy or two or three. I think it's part of her person already. She won't change. The next person she'll be in a relationship with will have similar experiences as you.

All the best!

posts: 376   ·   registered: Jun. 14th, 2021
id 8686668
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BlueRaspberry ( Member #76065) posted at 9:51 PM on Wednesday, September 1st, 2021

TheWrongOne,

So, when will the divorce be finalized? That's the day you can really start smiling... smile

posts: 218   ·   registered: Dec. 29th, 2020
id 8686673
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 TheWrongOne (original poster Member #78753) posted at 10:01 PM on Wednesday, September 1st, 2021

Any day now. Hoping to get the paperwork in the mail very soon. My lawyer said no one can ever predict it.

posts: 180   ·   registered: May. 6th, 2021
id 8686675
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 TheWrongOne (original poster Member #78753) posted at 10:09 PM on Wednesday, September 1st, 2021

It is difficult to describe to all of you the absolute bliss I am feeling right now. I have been blasting John Mellencamp and The Ramones all afternoon, playing air-guitar and dancing around the house. I danced with my dog. She took the cat thank gawd. I hated that damned cat. So did the dog. laugh

posts: 180   ·   registered: May. 6th, 2021
id 8686677
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BlueRaspberry ( Member #76065) posted at 10:11 PM on Wednesday, September 1st, 2021

TheWrongOne,

I once saw the Ramones live in concert. Best band I ever heard in person. Keep rocking!

[This message edited by BlueRaspberry at 10:13 PM, Wednesday, September 1st]

posts: 218   ·   registered: Dec. 29th, 2020
id 8686679
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smolderingdark ( Member #64064) posted at 1:38 AM on Thursday, September 2nd, 2021

I put on the best fake serious understanding look on my face and just smiled a sad smile, nodded, and she got in her car and left. Then I just started smiling and I am still smiling. grin


Well done! As distasteful as it was you chose the path of least resistance and got her out of your home as quickly as possible.

posts: 130   ·   registered: Jun. 7th, 2018
id 8686707
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rugswept ( Member #48084) posted at 2:08 AM on Thursday, September 2nd, 2021

Ok. Gone, no cat, guitar, blasting music...
Man, that was a walk off grand slam.

R'd (rug swept everything) decades ago.
I'm big on R. Very happy marriage but can never forget.

posts: 956   ·   registered: Jun. 2nd, 2015   ·   location: Northeast US
id 8686711
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Crank0it0up ( New Member #77202) posted at 4:17 AM on Thursday, September 2nd, 2021

I have followed your journey from the beginning. I'm really happy for you. Now go live life to the fullest.

posts: 3   ·   registered: Jan. 27th, 2021   ·   location: KY
id 8686726
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Buffer ( Member #71664) posted at 12:39 PM on Thursday, September 2nd, 2021

As long you are happy and well done.
One day at a time

Buffer

posts: 1191   ·   registered: Sep. 24th, 2019   ·   location: Australia
id 8686744
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Marz ( Member #60895) posted at 1:10 PM on Thursday, September 2nd, 2021

She packed up the last of her things and left this afternoon. Before she got in her car she actually came over and gave me a hug and said something to the effect of "I never wanted it to end this way you know."

Pretty typical. They all seem to want that final hug.
Her words are bullshit. She would have loved to cake eat more at your expense of course.

posts: 6616   ·   registered: Oct. 3rd, 2017
id 8686750
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Tigersrule77 ( Member #47339) posted at 1:34 PM on Thursday, September 2nd, 2021

Damnit, Marz beat me to the punch. Lines like those from WS's are pretty typical.

"I never wanted it to end this way you know."

I think she was telling the truth. But what she meant was "I never wanted you to find out, so I wouldn't have to change anything in my lifestyle. It was working for me. You went and messed things up."

I wish you the best moving forward in whatever you choose to do.

posts: 1512   ·   registered: Mar. 27th, 2015   ·   location: Maryland
id 8686755
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CM70 ( Member #76077) posted at 2:19 PM on Thursday, September 2nd, 2021

WrongOne, followed your thread since the beginning and I am so happy for you! My STBXW moves out in 6 days and it feels like an eternity. Wishing you nothing but the best in moving forward and living the life that you want to live!

[This message edited by CM70 at 2:20 PM, Thursday, September 2nd]

posts: 96   ·   registered: Dec. 31st, 2020
id 8686763
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iggyb ( New Member #74562) posted at 2:56 PM on Thursday, September 2nd, 2021

After everything you have go e through for all of those years I truly hope you build yourself a wonderful new life out of infidelity and stress.

Good luck and be happy.

Good music choice BTW smile

posts: 23   ·   registered: Jun. 10th, 2020   ·   location: UK
id 8686769
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Marz ( Member #60895) posted at 3:58 PM on Thursday, September 2nd, 2021

I think she was telling the truth. But what she meant was "I never wanted you to find out, so I wouldn't have to change anything in my lifestyle. It was working for me. You went and messed things up."

laugh Poor muffin. No more cake crying

posts: 6616   ·   registered: Oct. 3rd, 2017
id 8686788
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 TheWrongOne (original poster Member #78753) posted at 3:34 PM on Friday, September 3rd, 2021

My STBXWW has known for years that I checked out long ago. I guess when I look at it objectively, I cannot really blame her for being susceptible for another affair. However, I can blame her for making the same stupid decisions she made all those years ago to have an affair rather than coming to me and asking for a divorce and admitting she was not happy being married to me. Ultimately, I think we were never compatible... ever. I often think about how much responsibility for allowing this marriage to stay in a coma for fifteen years instead of just pulling the plug. I allowed myself to be steered against my conscience by others, and I will never allow that to happen again.

posts: 180   ·   registered: May. 6th, 2021
id 8687023
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BlueRaspberry ( Member #76065) posted at 4:01 PM on Friday, September 3rd, 2021

TheWrongOne,

You said

Ultimately, I think we were never compatible... ever.

So, you don't think you were compatible even before the first affair? I suppose that makes sense given her extreme selfishness and entitlement. It simply revealed itself in the first affair and how she responded in the aftermath (no true remorse).

I think you've really grown when you state

I allowed myself to be steered against my conscience by others, and I will never allow that to happen again.

These are words to live by. Well done.

posts: 218   ·   registered: Dec. 29th, 2020
id 8687030
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Unsure2019 ( Member #71350) posted at 6:45 PM on Friday, September 3rd, 2021

Two,

Back at the begining, you said that after the D was final, you would let the OBS know about the A. Is that still your plan. She deserves to know.

posts: 204   ·   registered: Aug. 21st, 2019   ·   location: California
id 8687056
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