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My Wife is Cheating and I'm Glad

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asc1226 posted 6/4/2021 08:48 AM

Glad you got a break from the drama TWO.

HalfTime2017 posted 6/4/2021 12:46 PM

TWO-

That is absolutely the right approach. Your WW has an attorney, and so do you. They can talk. Talking with her now will serve you no purpose as she'll probably just try to get you to agree to terms that are unfavorable for you. She is going to owe alimony and she wants you to just forgo b/c you're man. screw that noise.

I'd say, let her say whatever she has to say, which may provide you with a glimpse of what her strategy might be with her attorney, and simply tell her that you think its best to let your respective counsel hash things out. Good luck with her coming around and keep moving forward

Jameson1977 posted 6/4/2021 14:18 PM

Great update TWO.

Absolutely, let her “speak to you” through the lawyers, no need to engage at all. Stay strong!

RealityBlows posted 6/4/2021 16:23 PM

Now that she's lawyer'd up she may become emboldened and defiant. You're about to see the real Mrs TWO. If she loved you unconditionally, she would take responsibility and treat you with respect and compassion through the D process. If the love was by conditional degrees, you're about to find out to what degree-if any. Do your part to keep things civil. Don't unnecessarily antagonize. Don't be a smart ass. Don't try and impress your SI bro's.

guvensiz posted 6/4/2021 17:57 PM

I don't think it would be a problem to listen to her. Now that she has a lawyer, it means she has accepted the divorce. It would be helpful not to escalate tensions for an amicable divorce.
Listening to her doesn't mean engaging with her. You don't have to respond and agree with what she says.

Marz posted 6/4/2021 19:40 PM

Anyway, when I got back the STBXW called me and dressed me down for not keeping my phone on. I yawned and asked her what she wanted. She says she coming back to the house, that she retained a lawyer, and that she wants to talk to me.

Didn’t take long for the enabled princess to rise up. She still thinks she’s got some control

Talk = nothing

rambler posted 6/4/2021 22:01 PM

There is nothing to gain by talking with her. Her lawyer should contact yourx .

Buffer posted 6/5/2021 18:10 PM

Strength and smooth seas.
One day at a time.

J0ck posted 6/6/2021 05:04 AM

VAR

Newlifeisgreat posted 6/6/2021 08:06 AM

Just checking in on you?

How are you doing?

Hang in there, stay strong.
You will get through this and will come out the other side much, much better!!! In just a few months you will look back on this a wonder why you ever put up with her ever slightest bit of disrespect and craziness!

TheWrongOne posted 6/9/2021 13:15 PM

Things are going okay. The wife came back home on June 6. We didn't talk right away. It wasn't until about 11:00 that night that she knocked on my door and we moved the conversation to the kitchen. As I was makingmyself a bowl of muesli I listened to her drone on an on about how paying me the alimony I am asking for would make it impossible to live in a comfortable way. Total bullshit by the way, and I looked at her in such a way as to let her know that. I listened to her and at the end told her I understood her stance and asked her to convey that to her lawyer and that he could talk it over with mine. So I p[assed the buck and did not engage. That frustrated her ,and she started getting snippy. I told her I was not talking to her anymore if she was going to get upset and I turned around and went into my room. I heard her slam something. She didn't bother me again that night.

The next morning she caught me in the kitchen again and asked if we could go to marriage counseling. She told me that she had broken things off completely with the OM and that she wanted to see if I was interested in fixing the marriage. I told her simply "No. I am not interested in fixing a marriage that has not existed for a long time. Now please don't ask again. I'm not talking to you about anything except our son r the divorce." I then left and went to my health club.

Since then she has not talked to me. We come and go and have no interaction. The lawyers are talking. That is all I know for now. I am fine. I cannot tell how she is doing. She has always been a stoic, so it is hard to tell where her head is. I have not heard anymore from her parents. I did see the pastor a few days ago and he just asked me if I was doing okay, and we talked a bit about the construction of the new addition. He has not tried to get me to reconcile with my wife.

gemini12 posted 6/9/2021 13:28 PM

Glad you're doing ok, TWO.

You got this.

Buster123 posted 6/9/2021 14:08 PM

Excellent update.

Tigersrule77 posted 6/9/2021 14:23 PM

You handled that very well. Good job.

jinkazama posted 6/9/2021 15:30 PM

Well

Congrats for 100 posts 😊

KingofNothing posted 6/9/2021 16:42 PM

Wow, TWO, you really have the upper hand here. That's amazing how well you can do the Grey Rock thing. I do wonder what has made her shift from stunned, sad acceptance of the inevitable (when you confronted her) to this new commitment to reconciling? I suspect it is and always has been about money, plain and simple.

OH! I mean to ask, big, important issue: Your previous comments seem to indicate that word is getting around your church that you two are divorcing, and the reason why you are divorcing (perhaps?). You didn't clarify if the OM attends your church (and his wife) so I have to ask, does his wife know, yet? Is your STBX going to tell her? (yeah, I know.... stop laughing, sometimes you have to ask rhetorical questions.. )

[This message edited by KingofNothing at 4:46 PM, June 9th (Wednesday)]

rambler posted 6/9/2021 22:38 PM

Good job in keeping your cool. She is not trying too hard. MC would be a waste.

Marz posted 6/10/2021 00:35 AM

Marriage Counseling? The marriage wasn’t broken she is.

[This message edited by Marz at 12:35 AM, June 10th (Thursday)]

Buffer posted 6/10/2021 04:13 AM

Hey TWO good communicating to STBX about what you are desirous about. Let the lawyers do what they are paid to do. Yours is looking after your best interest not her lifestyle.
Have you spoken to OBS or are you waiting until the D is final?
One day at a time.

SquirrelFace posted 6/10/2021 09:24 AM

...would make it impossible to live in a comfortable way.
...asked if we could go to marriage counseling. She told me that she had broken things off completely with the OM and that she wanted to see if I was interested in fixing the marriage.
Wow.

Not a single word about her understanding about how you must feel. Totally self-absorbed about her loss of lifestyle and status. She has to put you back in your place and keep your utility to her. Go back to business as usual.

I'd be half tempted to go to marriage counseling just to get a sick inside look at just how solipsistic she is.

But then no one accused me of being normal.

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