SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

I'm only posting this from my perspective of watching movies setup as the woman/wife cheating. I know men cheat to but thats not what the movies are showing.

With that said...there is movie upon movie where the wife cheats. Repeatedly. The other man is always a stalker who kidnaps or kills people. Husband and wife wins in the end and lives happily ever after. Always rugsweeping the infidelity.

Is this network trying to make cheating a norm that we should just ignore and move on? Or are they just making movies thar sell and not thinking of any social mores'. Thoughts

It sounds like the plotline of "Fatal Attraction," but with a gender swap. I wonder if casting the woman as the WS instead of the man is intended to counter complaints that the original film vilified women's sexuality.

***Fatal Attraction Spoiler Alert*** The movie that became the paradigm for crazy spurned AP plotlines (and coined the term "bunny boiler") was released with a re-filmed ending. In the original version, the AP commits suicide with the knife that had the husband's fingerprints on it, framing him for her murder. When they screened the film for test audiences, the reaction was strongly negative. They redid it with the husband attempting to drown the AP, followed by the wife shooting her in a clear case of self-defense. If that became the default formula, I guess it's more about seeing the marriage win than it is about rugsweeping the infidelity. Fatal Attraction was remembered for highlighting the potential consequences of "meaningless" affair sex and the triumph of the home over the dangerous intruder.

Ironically, the original ending makes a lot more sense for the structure of the film. All those "Madam Butterfly" references became loose ends instead of brilliant foreshadowing.

Well, there are movies with men cheating on the wives/girlfriends so it's not one sided with just women cheating.

No hidden agenda. Movies are made with both male and female cheaters.

One of my guilty pleasure movies is "This Christmas".

My favorite scene is when the wife finally confronts her husband of cheating. I could watch that scene over and over again.

Hollywood is a fantasy land

Movies are made to make money

Occasionally a movie gets made that is actually

good in portraying how life works when people foul up.

"Up the Down Staircase"

"The Crying Game" (Sorry, British film)

"Ship of Fools"

ya - I've been around awhile

Last time I went to a movie theater - when "Dances with Wolves" debuted. (nice dinner-type theater!)

- and free tickets

Just because Hollywood sells it doesn't mean people have to buy. But it is a sad fact that sex sells and the more deviant the sex the better the sale.

Being that my personal situation has an IRL bunny boiler [the attorney who sent her a Cease and Desist after 2 years of cyberstalking and harassment] actually nicknamed LTAP "Fatal Attraction"

The sad reality - the only thing more depraved than fiction is fact.

I dislike movies that romanticize infidelity.

The Horse Whisperer,

NOT about the damn horse!!! More about how romantic their affair was.

I think the only movie I have ever seen that factually portrayed a wife's infidelity from both the WW's side and the BH's side was unfaithful, minus the BH killing the AP of course. I caught a small part of it the other night on HBO (normally I avoid it, too triggery) and was shocked at how the confrontation scene so perfectly captured what I went through at the time in my own life.

JMO, but I think the only agenda of the makers of these shows is to make money.

I guess some want to make art, but the stories don't seem artistic to me - bad writing,bad acting - which may be due to bad directing.

I think a larger concern may be the normalization of female infidelity as an empowering act. There is indeed a running theme in both the entertainment and news media pushing this narrative. Also pushing female-centric polyamory as a positive good.

Before you say, "but they used to do with men, too." Yes, they did. Boys will be boys and so on. We can all stipulate that these past false narratives were harmful to faithful wives. We should now do the same with false narratives about female infidelity as an empowering act or a triumph of feminism. It's anything but.

Ozark seemed to be taking female infidelity somewhat seriously as a toxic act early on. There was even the very satisfying scene of watching the AP plunge horribly to his death from a high rise balcony to become a wet spot on the pavement (I recommend any betrayed husband watch this particular as a form of catharsis/excorcism).

But as the first season wore on, the female empowerment narrative took over. There was even one of those horribly cliched "woman wallops man in jaw" scenes in which the unfaithful wife compounded her abuse by punching her husband in the face.

In fact, you couldn't think of a better metaphor for what a betrayed husband actually feels, but that isn't how the producers intended it.

Check out the movie "Indiscretion" (2016) with Mira Sorvino. She plays a cheating wife and at the end it goes really sideways quickly. It is a poorly made movie, but her portrayal of essentially a covertly narcissistic wife is creepy and disturbing, especially at the end of the movie.

"The Bridges of Madison County" was another pile of dogsh*t wrapped up in gold foil.

But as the first season wore on, the female empowerment narrative took over.

I have a hard time considering Wendy empowered. To me, it looked like her infidelity was foreshadowing to her becoming a villain. It revealed a selfish, dark side to her that her BH/MH wasn't aware of. I thought the whole point was that she thought she had control over everything when in fact she had control over nothing and was just another pawn to the other bigger players around her. She was about as empowered as Walter White was when he got in too deep. Her power was mostly an illusion and it cost her the family relationships that she used to find most important.

nekonamida

I have a hard time considering Wendy empowered. To me, it looked like her infidelity was foreshadowing to her becoming a villain. It revealed a selfish, dark side to her that her BH/MH wasn't aware of. I thought the whole point was that she thought she had control over everything when in fact she had control over nothing and was just another pawn to the other bigger players around her. She was about as empowered as Walter White was when he got in too deep. Her power was mostly an illusion and it cost her the family relationships that she used to find most important.

I agree. That is a good assessment. Wendy has an innate need to feel like she is a mover and shaker, even when she has none of the smarts to do so. She is amoral, conniving and manipulative, but Marty is the one with the brains, and it is he who usually fixes the problems that she gets them into.

The desire to be someone she will never be able to be is what drives her. This is why she told Marty that she would sneak into rich people's homes when she was a teenager so she could imagine what being powerful and wealthy would feel like. The only way she will ever become powerful is if she is used as a tool by someone more powerful than her.

Is this really sexist or do they portray women as stupid gullible morons who fall for a psychopath from whom the BH needs to save her from.

Like women are incapable of having A with the nice guy next door.

No AP is ever acceptable but the soccer dad is too boring for Hollywood.

Personally I don’t or can’t watch infidelity even if fictional.

Or are they just making movies thar sell and not thinking of any social mores'.

As someone else in the thread said, movies are made to make money. It’s not their job to pander to moral or societal standards. Their business is entertainment and the $ people will pay to be entertained.

The great thing about capitalism is that we all have the freedom to vote with our $. If enough people don’t like something, it no longer sells. When it comes to entertainment media, I honestly just don’t think people really care what the “message” is of what they’re consuming.

Double post

[This message edited by Darkness Falls at 11:02 AM, April 23rd (Friday)]

I have a hard time considering Wendy empowered. To me, it looked like her infidelity was foreshadowing to her becoming a villain. It revealed a selfish, dark side to her that her BH/MH wasn't aware of.

Nekonamida, you may be right. Had not considered it that way.

Is this network trying to make cheating a norm that we should just ignore and move on? Or are they just making movies thar sell and not thinking of any social mores'. Thoughts

I think some are doing it on purpose and the rest are good hearted believers and go along thinking they are doing something spectacular.

As far as if they are trying to make cheating a norm, we do have a tendency to notice more of what we focus on but that being said, Hollywood is filled with super talented ill-focused souls that create great productions but with ill-focused messages.

That's why we have these magnificent movies and shows that are filled with on-edge snarky hero's, constant arguing, constant lying, and lately demonizing what was once framed as good as bad, and the bad guy is now good etc. Female infidelity goes along well with it just as good as male, even better now!

In my observation, these creators are either young, or socially isolated within their own group types of artists that produce this stuff. They are narrating what eventually drives us as a society, creating a vicious circle.

I don't think we should ignore it and move on. Nothing wrong with nicely pointing it out to them why you are concerned. If enough people pointed it out, maybe one or two would actually take it to heart.