SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Well, folks, I am getting ever-closer to the finish line that is divorced!

Attorneys had a deadline of last Friday to submit their summary document, which means that the judge's clock has begun ticking... he has 90 days as of Friday to make his ruling. That means, at worst, I will not be married in no more than 87 days!

I was able to get a copy of her lawyer's report today. It was a complete shit-show. And that's not my opinion, here is what my lawyer said:

The submission contains ZERO law. That is totally weird!

This is a court. We had a trial.

I will be sharing some more of the highlights soon, but the one that stands out to me is...

I have made about $10,000 in the last year working an extra job as a handyman to help pay my bills because the temporary order required that I pay her way more than I could afford.

Her attorney literally suggested that I should pay STBXW that very same $10,000 to help pay STBXW's legal bills.

That is, I worked an extra job to help pay my bills and STBXW's lawyer says that I should just give her that money...

Congratulations on starting the countdown clock! Planning a celebration?

Your STBXWW's lawyer takes the cake!

Her L being a fuck-up? Completely foreseeable dick move, I hope it has the big fat zero effect that it should have.

I'm picuturing you now as a convict countind down the dates till freedom!! One day at a time.....

Let's hope it all goes through smoothly, and the judge is reading their petition:

"I am sitting in the smallest room of my house. I have your review before me. In a moment it will be behind me!"

And just like a miracle NPDSTBXWW transforms into simple X, with or without the NPD. And you can drop the mantle of SuperHandyman, temporarily or permanently.

Aaaaahhhh, that will be the day.

Hang in there barcher, it' coming. How about you and gf find a way to make it special. Like just the two of you, not getting coronovirus.

Good luck!!

Well that will make winter in MI a lot more enjoyable now won't it.

I mean being a divorced man from this hot mess?

Still sending tons of mojo that the judge sees sanity and reason as the outcome for you.

Today's gem from STBXW's document:

Spousal maintenance was requested to be permanent and ending only when STBXW gets married or one of us dies.

This is interesting for a handful of reasons:

1. The typical duration of alimony (if awarded) is 1/3 to 1/2 of the duration of the marriage. We were married for 15 years. STBXW requested 11 years of alimony while we were negotiating (this was not allowed to be presented in court -- negotiations are inadmissible). STBXW testified the she wanted only 7 years of alimony during trial.

2. The purpose of alimony, according to my state's laws, is to compensate a spouse who sacrificed his/her career trajectory for the marriage and/or children. STBWX literally has the same job that she had before we got married and she has received two major promotions in the interim. Testimony during trial was pretty convincing that she has not sacrificed her career trajectory in any way.

3. Alimony can only be awarded if the recipient has a demonstrated financial need based on a reasonable budget submitted to the court AND the other spouse can afford to pay. Based on evidence presented in court, it's arguable that STBXW has a financial need (she submitted a crazy-high budget, in my opinion) but it's pretty clear that I cannot afford to pay alimony after I pay for child support (i.e., I cannot meet my budget and it's not that close, tbh).

Furthermore, after child support, STBXW would be receiving more than half of our combined income. This is important because the law in my state requires that the judge equally protect both spouses' standard of living as established during the marriage to the best extent possible. So, the recipient of alimony cannot, by law, receive more than 51% of the combined income (according to my lawyer).

barcher144,

Reading your bio, different threads and posts was difficult.

To see all that she put you through and all that you put up with was tough.

For your sake I am glad you are coming up on the end of this chapter of your life.

Hopefully the next 86 days goes by quickly for you and without incident.

Keeping my fingers crossed for you that this gets settled sooner rather than later

I am praying she gets waaaaay less than she expects.

I'm glad to hear you're getting close to the finish line Barch!

or one of us dies.

If you died before her, she would still complain how you screwed her over by dying and cutting off the alimony.

Sounds like you attorney has it under control. Stay the course, you're almost there!

Today's bullshit statement from STBXW's statement:

barcher144 has refused extra parenting time and refuses to pay for any of the kids' expenses.

Reality#1: I refused to do STBXW's bidding when our daughter had burns on her hands and legs after attempt to do an at-home leg waxing. STBXW refused to allow me to come to the hospital starting around 6pm... around midnight, she called me and asked me to go get the other two children (without entering my old house) and get them to school. Meaning, she asked to stay up all night because she didn't handle the medical situation with our daughter very well (for example, I could have stayed at the hospital with the injured child).

Reality#2: STBXW and I had had a number of expenses on autopay to my credit cards and my checking account. Some of these were the kids' expenses (like their band instrument rental and their cell phones) and some of these were her expenses (like her car insurance). The school expenses and the cell phones are clearly STBXW's responsibility because she has sole custody. Ironically, I am still paying for one of the kids' cell phones (because it is my Christmas present to her), so not only in their conclusion is a twisting of the truth... it's also flat-out wrong.

The school expenses and the cell phones are clearly STBXW's responsibility because she has sole custody.

Are these specifically outlined in your agreement? Custody doesn't always have a bearing on how expenses are shared. If this isn't specifically outlined, I hope your attorney has asked that it is outlined in your parenting agreement.

Cat

Are these specifically outlined in your agreement?

This is the law. I pay child support and this covers my portion of all kid-related expenses because she has, legally speaking, full custody. It's super clear in the law in my state and I'd imagine that the law is the same.

Having worked for a court for a long time, this is not as uncommon as you think:

The submission contains ZERO law. That is totally weird!

I can't tell you how many "briefs" we would get that were: 1) not brief, and 2) legally vacant - like nada, nothing. It sucks on the court's end as believe it or not, it takes longer to get through that crap and come with a reasoned decision. Lazy lawyering plain and simple. So expect either you will get a quick response from the court, or one that comes down to the last minute.

As the lawyers say, when the facts are on your side.... pound the facts

when the law is on your side.... pound the law

If you have neither, pound the table

deleted because... well... I wanted to delete it.

[This message edited by barcher144 at 3:30 PM, November 30th (Monday)]