SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

My wife's AP called me last Fall ( this was just after I called his EX wife to figure out some time line blanks). Wife's AP has a long history of being a cheating pig. In fact my wife admits she was always disgusted by him, as she knew his ways and that he was married at the time. Anyways, AP calls me and he sounded upset and perhaps a bit drunk. Then he starts to tell me how good of lips my wife has and knows how to use them. He said they kissed a fair amount and that she went down on him several times. Now my wife to this day tells me she has given me full disclosure and that she never spent time with the AP, (They did work in different areas at the same very large building), however this is contradictory to what the AP said. The reason I am even giving consideration to the pig is that my wife's sex style changed while they where messing around (My wife told me online only). She used to not give me oral sex ( perhaps a dozen times in 27 years) then all of a sudden she wanted to give me oral sex a few times a week.... I have not confronted my wife yet about her AP calling me. I think, I would rather her tell me on her own the full story. Perhaps with things opening up post Corona and us in with a new MC she will tell me??? I will also add that she talks in her sleep and has talked about kissing him...

Polygraph

I'd just bring it up to her, straight. She how she handles the questions.

Ugh... I'm sorry. Why did your wife's AP call you? What was the purpose of the call?

The reason I am even giving consideration to the pig is that my wife's sex style changed while they where messing around

My husband's too. His was definitely a physical affair. Looking back, he was probably "practicing" on me... for her.....

I agree with the others. I don't see the harm in bringing up your call with AP to her. I wouldn't hold your breath on waiting for her disclose on her own volition - if she hasn't told you yet, she probably doesn't plan on it.

Emergent8 His exwife called him asking some more questions about my wife and his timeline ( she was still trying to figure out things herself) and she told him that I had called.

Squid...

I have a hard time trusting them. They are at best 82-87% accurate and I am not willing to hang someone over something that isnt 100% I did call a poly person and we talked for quite sometime. Somewhere in the phone call he suggested that I would not do well taking one myself as I "question all questions" meaning I try to figure out where the person asking the question is coming from. And I carry a whole lot of anxiety, which can wig out the test. I spoke with Dr Doug Weiss staff about this and they confirmed.

Sounds like he might be trying to get even with her,

You should ask him if he has any proof. Picture, text that sets up a meeting, any little hole in her version of the story.

then confront her.

PS if you find something you may NEVER believe anything she says EVER again.

this is what happened to me.

If you want to reconcile regardless of what they did or didn't do, you may not want to dig any deeper.

Wow, talk about rug sweeping.

Brother, if they we in the same big building, then they had sex. How could you even believe that?

Second, her style of sex changed, really, I wonder why.

And while you are wrong about poly's lets say that you are right. Well, 87% correct is better than 0% correct.

Right now, you know zero present. You need to read around SI for a while. Your wife is gaslighting you and she has been from the start...

Mammabear,

I have found other things and do have some faith in her. This one I do not believe what she has told me. I have also seen videos of her having cyber sex with the guys. Them telling her what to do and her telling them what to do. Those did leave scars!

Blues

I am tending to believe the AP that she did give him oral. He is fixated on the act. What is it with nurses and supply closets?

firefighter01, I'm not sure you've ever posted your whole story. Could help in this instance.

With all I know about infidelity, without you saying another word, I'd put a hundred bucks on the fact that your wife did give this guy oral sex (or more), and I'd feel pretty confident that my odds would be about 95/5.

The one thing you can always count on.

All cheaters lie a lot.

Okokok...

Our story is rather long I will compile it in the next few days

Just tell her that you have scheduled a polygraph for her. Her reaction should tell you all you need to know.

Good luck and stay strong

Listen FF, You are till doing it, and I guess still in shock and denial.

No matter how long your story is, or what you have done, you did not deserve this.

Further, if they had physical proximity then they had full on monkey sex.

Are you understanding that. Further, make her take a poly, no matter what your denial and over analysis make her do it.

Don't warn her, just do it. And talk to someone else besides the last on.

The CIA, and lots of people use them, they will help you find out what is really going on. Length of affair, sex how many times, and what not.

Have you made her write a timeline yet?

You are being way to passive about this. I hope you can see that.

Further, is she still working at the same place? Did he leave did she?

If they work together the affair continues.

Not trying to be hard, but you need to wake up...

Why did you stay on the phone with this guy?

There is always the chance you will get the parking lot confessions if you go the poly route. Several on here have.

How long was the affair? Not that it always plays out 100%, but the longer it went on...the greater chances are it was physical. Assuming he is the pig as stated and has had other affairs, he was not likely to wait long...for little to no gain on his investment.

[This message edited by AnnieOakley at 1:11 AM, May 16th (Saturday)]

Annie, the affair was May 12 2018- Nov 2018. He was married at the time and had other women at the same time too.

Owning it now,

Deer in the headlights... deer in the headlights

Blues....

She is to be working on a timeline, however she honestly ( I have known her for 34 years) not good at times. I have no doubt that they had sexual contact... I want to hear it from her mouth though.

She has changed departments and is on other side of campus ( hospital) she now works in an area that she can not get away from her duties ( her breaks are only a few feet from her patients and I have her so locked down on GPS that she could not meet anyone currently. Her phone and car are both tracked.