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ShatteredSakura (original poster member #70885) posted at 5:08 PM on Sunday, March 1st, 2020
- Her travel mug with coffee. She would only drink a third of it in the morning. She put soo much sugar and creamer in it by the end of the day it was like jello. Of course just puts it by the sink. Of course I would wash it. May sound stupid but yeah, I don't miss that.
At least she put it in the sink?
This one has been out of sight/out of mind for a bit so I didn't think of it. Regularly, she'll make tea (or ask me to make a cup for her) and forget to drink it. Because she waits for it to cool off and then get distracted. Other times only finishes a portion of it.
The problem is of course is she leaves the cups filled on the nightstand, on the tables, desks, etc. And then the teabags get moldy and it's very annoying to clean, etc. And then the times one of those cups accidentally gets knocked over... ugh 
Sometimes the house looked like the house from the movie "Signs" with the glasses of water everywhere.
J707 ( member #63778) posted at 6:00 PM on Sunday, March 1st, 2020
Alright, I'll give her a gold star for getting it near the sink. But that made me think about how she would just throw everything, and I mean everything in the sink. Just pile it high and J707 will do them. Can't get her nails messed up now. I'm surprised she didn't dump her jello coffee all over the dishes in there!
ShatteredSakura (original poster member #70885) posted at 6:07 PM on Sunday, March 1st, 2020
WW did not do makeup or nails or any of that cosmetic stuff. But she had a serious aversion to getting her hands dirty (metaphorically). Makes me wonder if she'll ever be able to do diapers in the future...
crazyblindsided ( member #35215) posted at 6:38 PM on Sunday, March 1st, 2020
Things I won't miss:
-Constant criticism
-Hating on my friends
-Having to know where I'm at at all times
-His teeth/breath from smoking cigarettes.
-Leaving shoes all around the house
-His victimhood
-Hearing him complain about his job and then compare with mine who works harder who makes more
-Sex and groping
-Wondering where he is at 11:00 at night
-Wondering where he is when I visit my parents
-Criticize my parenting ( I raised the kids mostly by myself but he still feels the need to tell me what I'm doing wrong)
-Spending an hour in the bathroom to jack off
-Breathing on me while he sleeps
-Complaining about my resting on the weekends after working a high stress job for 40 hrs a week
-And NOTHING is EVER his fault EVER 
[This message edited by crazyblindsided at 12:39 PM, March 1st (Sunday)]
fBS/fWS(me):52 Mad-hattered after DD (2008)
XWS:55 Serial Cheater, Diagnosed NPD
DD(22) DS(19)
XWS cheated the entire M spanning 19 years
Discovered D-Days 2006,2008,2012, False R 2014
Separated 9/2019; Divorced 8/2024
Incarnate ( member #46085) posted at 7:24 PM on Sunday, March 1st, 2020
J707, omg, the coffee cups. 7 or 8 a day, never finished, ALWAYS left to mold. Followed by "look at these ten new cups I just bought!"
Cool. More that dont fit in the cupboard, will get covered in mold, and I'll end up washing them. Because I'm the only one that cares.
Late night weed and messaging, then sleeping until 1. I get that it's a sign of depression, but ffs, go to counseling. I set it up enough times, maybe she could stop blowing it off.
Gah. Obnoxious.
Me: BH
She: EW
Divorce in progress
DD1: 11/29/14
DD2: 8/14/19
What a wicked game we play.
J707 ( member #63778) posted at 7:36 PM on Sunday, March 1st, 2020
Incarnate, I have maybe a dozen coffee cups now. I use 1 of them at home and 1 travel mug for driving. The others are for when company comes over. I know you're gearing up to move, these little things become soo nice! I have my cup in the morning and rinse it out in a clean sink. These little things add up, they really do!
hopefullife ( member #71881) posted at 10:41 PM on Sunday, March 1st, 2020
Incarnate, J707, that's preposterous! You mean to say there's someone out there who put those precious liquid to spoil? No way!
note: coffee lover here
10 yrs together. 2 yrs married. No kids.
2 Ddays. H living with OW and their child.
Focusing on self.
ShatteredSakura (original poster member #70885) posted at 11:59 PM on Sunday, March 1st, 2020
Hopeful....is that you?...
I also noticed you had no sympathy for all the wasted tea XD
hopefullife ( member #71881) posted at 12:17 AM on Monday, March 2nd, 2020
More like this
Totally missed that wasted tea
10 yrs together. 2 yrs married. No kids.
2 Ddays. H living with OW and their child.
Focusing on self.
BentandBroken ( member #72519) posted at 12:36 AM on Monday, March 2nd, 2020
Been lurking here for over 3 months now. My Dday was November 17, 2019. This thread truly motivated me to post! Things I will not miss:
Snoring
Dark hairs left in the shower
WH never apologizing for ANYTHING
Tiptoeing around, desperately trying to choose the right words in our conversations so as not to upset WH
Lack of affection
Being pushed away whilst simultaneously being blamed for not wanting sex
Trying to be perfect
Never feeling attractive enough
Anxiety from knowing in my gut, but not in my head yet
His misuse of words and grammar
Dishes in the sink and on the counter, because I am the only one who knows how to load a dishwasher apparently
His random, aggrieved white male rants about everything
Criticism of my driving, parenting, relationships with friends and relatives, handling of work stress, chosen hobbies, the gas stations I choose, and on and on and on and on...
Thank you for this opportunity to vent. I truly appreciate the SI community.
20+ year relationship; Never officially married
Dday November 2019
4 wonderful grown children
WH multiple APs, currently involved with married COW
Kicked him out on Dday and that was that
ShatteredSakura (original poster member #70885) posted at 12:36 AM on Monday, March 2nd, 2020
@hopeful, And then after coffee, you're blooming 
[This message edited by ShatteredSakura at 6:40 PM, March 1st (Sunday)]
ShatteredSakura (original poster member #70885) posted at 12:40 AM on Monday, March 2nd, 2020
Been lurking here for over 3 months now. My Dday was November 17, 2019. This thread truly motivated me to post! Things I will not miss:
((BentandBroken)) I'm sorry you're here, but im glad you got motivated to post. I was a long time lurker too. Even before creating my account.
Shehawk ( member #68741) posted at 1:21 AM on Monday, March 2nd, 2020
Lies
Having to get tested for stds
Him screaming at me so hard spit came out of his mouth and rained down on me
More lies
Cheating
Begging him to get off the phone and live life with me
His fist prints in the bathroom door
Fear
His keeping stuff like empty containers and broken stuff in the garage
His absence of empathy
Him blaming me for everthing
Feeling crazy
Feeling unwanted
Begging for love
Questioning reality
His risk taking
More fear
Now I just have peace!!!
"It's a slow fade...when you give yourself away" so don't do it!
Shehawk ( member #68741) posted at 1:21 AM on Monday, March 2nd, 2020
Lies
Having to get tested for stds
Him screaming at me so hard spit came out of his mouth and rained down on me
More lies
Cheating
Begging him to get off the phone and live life with me
His fist prints in the bathroom door
Fear
His keeping stuff like empty containers and broken stuff in the garage
His absence of empathy
Him blaming me for everthing
Feeling crazy
Feeling unwanted
Begging for love
Questioning reality
His risk taking
More fear
Now I just have peace!!!
"It's a slow fade...when you give yourself away" so don't do it!
Shehawk ( member #68741) posted at 1:22 AM on Monday, March 2nd, 2020
And molding nasty exploding home brew stuff
And destruction
"It's a slow fade...when you give yourself away" so don't do it!
J707 ( member #63778) posted at 1:35 AM on Monday, March 2nd, 2020
Bentandbroken, I'm sorry you are here but SI is a place of a lot of wisdom, please share with us. Knowledge from people who have been down the path. I posted my story at first and didn't come back for months. Big mistake. Open up when you're ready, its healing!
Sorry, but I just went to go pee and the toilet paper roll was on the empty one. My daughter picked up one of her moms doings. I had to share. I'm glad a little bit of humor or screw him got you to post!
Share your story, when you are ready.
hopefullife ( member #71881) posted at 12:44 AM on Tuesday, March 3rd, 2020
@hopeful, And then after coffee, you're blooming
You got it spot-on! I don't know how anyone lives without coffee 
Bentandbroken, welcome to SI! Come join us in the other threads whenever you're ready :) i agree with J707, sharing is healing too.
Begging him to get off the phone and live life with me
Shehawk, I've had him on the phone for more moments than I remember. Mostly due to his business though (even before the A). I didn't consider that a bad thing before as I thought it's what support means. But now, I don't think I'd be glad to experience the same thing again. So yes, adding that to this list too.
10 yrs together. 2 yrs married. No kids.
2 Ddays. H living with OW and their child.
Focusing on self.
ShatteredSakura (original poster member #70885) posted at 2:04 AM on Tuesday, March 3rd, 2020
You got it spot-on! I don't know how anyone lives without coffee
I do!
Although today I actually had a cup of french vanilla coffee at work today. I mixed a packet of instant hot chocolate in, it was pretty good ^_^
UneedToSmile ( member #72111) posted at 2:12 AM on Tuesday, March 3rd, 2020
Him, in the bathroom, telling his turds to “get out of there!” AND his constant eye-watering, nose-hair singing, barn-burning, napalm-imitating farts under the covers. That is all.
Me: BS 42 years old
Him: Lying cheating narcissistic prick 43 years old
Married for 18 yrs, together for 20 total
Dday: August 19 2019
Divorced: June 12 2020
BearlyBreathing ( member #55075) posted at 2:34 AM on Tuesday, March 3rd, 2020
This thread is always fun :-)
1) His floaters. You could not get those to flush. The stink hung around just as long and he didn’t like the smell of air fresheners. And he’d leave those little gems for me to find hours later. 
2) The anger. AT. EVERY. LITTLE. THING. Nothing was too trivial. 
3) The controlling- what we ate, when we ate, where we ate, what we did on the weekends, when we could stop doing whatever. No idea why I put up with it
4) He’d ride his bike home from work - and it was strenuous ride with 1000 feet of elevation - and then not shower. So I got to sleep with that stench. If we had plans to go out, he’d just pull jeans on over the bike clothes and go out smelling that way. (He’d come home showered and fresh from his rendezvous with the AP.) I’d complain and get a lecture on the drought and water conservation and blah blah blah. 
5) His complaining about any scent. I couldn’t wear perfume, scented lotions, hair spray, use air fresheners, light candles. (AP wore perfume and half a can of hair spray but whatever....) 
6) His lack of respect for my time. Even before his A he’d leave me waiting for him for an hour because he got distracted at work. If I was at a restaurant? So what. Missed the movie or had to race like a bat out of hell to get there? But we made it.Party with friends? They won’t mind...And naturally wouldn’t wear a watch. Didn’t understand me being upset about this. 
Me: BS 57 (49 on d-day)Him: *who cares ;-) *. D-Day 8/15/2016 LTA. Kinda liking my new life :-)
**horrible typist, lots of edits to correct. :-/ **
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