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I Can Relate :
Betrayed Womenz Thread

Topic is Sleeping.
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Newbeginnings24 ( member #71510) posted at 8:30 AM on Sunday, October 6th, 2019

I’m glad to find this thread again. Think I was a bit slow on the uptake there!

It’s my periodical too - sorry TMI. But makes me very weepy and slightly crazy in my current situation. Never experienced PMT before this! A nice new addition to the tornado I now live in.

My WH did he same with his location finder. So I logged into mine and switched mine off instantly. Works both ways WH. He’s still messing with his life and causing constant pain to the people around him. We’re not on....I don’t want to talk about it anymore. I’m just looking forward to the future. Don’t want a serious relationship with anyone other than DD. Well let’s see how long that lasts!

Sorry to moan ladies when you were all trying to celebrate the weekend. Finding it all a bit too hard at the moment. It’s been 3 1/2 months and I feel like I’m just waiting around for him to wake up at times. But then I have such good days and think I don’t want him or his drama anywhere near me. I’m free and ready to conquer. Wish that feeling lasted longer.

DDay....it doesn’t matter, it’s in the past!

Having a soft heart in a cruel world is courage, not weakness - Katherine Henson.

Walk out of that door and don’t look back!

posts: 197   ·   registered: Sep. 8th, 2019   ·   location: England
id 8448087
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Newbeginnings24 ( member #71510) posted at 8:35 AM on Sunday, October 6th, 2019

It should say....

He’s now saying he doesn’t want to talk about the past, he’s only thinking about the future....

DDay....it doesn’t matter, it’s in the past!

Having a soft heart in a cruel world is courage, not weakness - Katherine Henson.

Walk out of that door and don’t look back!

posts: 197   ·   registered: Sep. 8th, 2019   ·   location: England
id 8448088
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SpeedBump ( member #69198) posted at 9:19 AM on Sunday, October 6th, 2019

This is truly the only forum I should ever read! I laugh so much when I read all the posts here and then also feel connected that others get my mental state like no one else can.

So, I'm just gonna put this out there because I am struggling with something big now ....but damn, I miss sex! Not in R, not dating, not on tinder, no FWB in the wings (but now I get why people have FWBs). So what is 'good' girl supposed to do when she wants to be bad?! I have my BOB but he's just not giving me all the feels these days. Maybe it's really intimacy I want but then I think...nah, I just want sex! If WH didn't give me the "ick" factor when I think of sex with him, I'm that desperate that I'd think of just using him for that. Help!!

posts: 159   ·   registered: Dec. 20th, 2018   ·   location: Europe
id 8448092
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Newbeginnings24 ( member #71510) posted at 10:41 AM on Sunday, October 6th, 2019

I’ve been there speedbump. Are you ready to date? If so have you tried this?

I have thought in the last few months that I might ask my WH for this and he would then have some point in existing! However, he doesn’t deserve to see me naked or have any intimacy with me anymore. My body is too precious for him.

If the thought of it with him makes u ICK then maybe don’t go there. You might regret it and then it can’t be undone then. My WH went on and on about how he’s fighting his demons and he’s faithful to the OW. Well I will let you in on a secret...he hasn’t been! Once a snake, always a snake! But I still love him WTF?!

Hugs to you SB.

DDay....it doesn’t matter, it’s in the past!

Having a soft heart in a cruel world is courage, not weakness - Katherine Henson.

Walk out of that door and don’t look back!

posts: 197   ·   registered: Sep. 8th, 2019   ·   location: England
id 8448100
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BigBlueEyes ( member #71441) posted at 12:41 PM on Sunday, October 6th, 2019

To much to catch up on & no time to do it, only popped in to say hi very fast.

OHHHH Shock horror...A WH that can't be faithful to his AP

Now I love a little KARMA!!!

Speedbump,

Go be that bad girl however you want, Dress up, get sparkly, GO & GET some!!

Failing that go to the adult store & buy more toys,

I literally have a whole fucking draw of them now...MEN?

huh?

what are they?

what are they needed for?

lol I love Love LOVE my draw of toys

So in other news I fear my Rollercoaster is about to dip

Had lots to do this week in prep,

COURT is set for Friday 11th October, so i guess this will be it!

Physically I may be ready Mentally I AM NOT

I FUCKING HATE ANY DAYS ENDING WITH A Y

Me- BW, 47
Multi Dday's,
DB A's x 2 BFF
Multi ONS's, Online shit.
Serial cheat, Abuser,
D 18.02.20
Stay strong, just because it’s hard today, doesn’t mean that next week it won’t get easier!!

posts: 674   ·   registered: Mar. 11th, 2019   ·   location: A tiny dot in a big 'ol World
id 8448115
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DaisyAnne ( member #71434) posted at 2:14 PM on Sunday, October 6th, 2019

At the very beginning he told her "I'm married, and that's not going to change, I love my wife." But then he told her that it was fun and exciting to flirt

Same thing here. And the OW (Psycho) is single. What single woman is OK with that? A very, very small part of me actually feels bad for her that she is that desperate for someone.

This is truly the only forum I should ever read! I laugh so much when I read all the posts here and then also feel connected that others get my mental state like no one else can.

Yes!! The connection is what I need. No one else can do that unless you have been through this. Unfortunately I don't know any friends that have been. I do realize that doesn't mean they haven't been, I just don't know about it. Just like they don't know I am going through this.

I haven't told my very best friend of 20 years. She knows we had problems 4 years ago and that WH was unhappy and going through a midlife crisis. She was sooooo mad at him for that. I can't tell her about the affair because I truly don't think she will ever forgive him. Our families are all best friends (husbands are best friends, kids are best friends). I don't want to ruin that. And it sucks because I hate holding something so big in my life from her. Maybe one day I will tell her. But right now I just can't.

Newbeginnings24, moan away! That's what we are here for. To moan, to listen, and hopefully to laugh at times too. I am still chuckling at Chaos's suggestion for me! Hugs to you!!

After a few hard days, yesterday was really nice. Hello, rollercoaster!

Me: BW - early 40's
Him: WH - late 40's
Married: 18 years, together 24
2 teenage children
Dday: 5/23/19
Reconciling

posts: 241   ·   registered: Aug. 29th, 2019
id 8448131
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Lostheart8 ( member #71607) posted at 2:32 PM on Sunday, October 6th, 2019

Newbeginnings ...you are not alone. WBF is no where in sight. Geeze I didn’t even get a good bye....just poof...I’ve been ghosted. Probably moving on to a new woman.

Yup, I have moments where I feel liberated and free....no drama, no worries ....it’s just me and I’m not cheating on me. It feels good.

10 minutes later I’m crying because I’m missing this man....well the man I miss was before DD came out. I just ache for him.

It just sucks. Add in hormones ..... bad sleep, extra depression and all I want to do is hide from life.

Hey....let me give you the rah rah statement “it will get better and you’ll meet a much better man”. Oh yeah, I feel so much better.

.

posts: 162   ·   registered: Sep. 17th, 2019
id 8448141
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cocoplus5nuts ( member #45796) posted at 2:50 PM on Sunday, October 6th, 2019

Moan away! That's what we're here for.

Speedbump, refresh my memory. Are you separated or divorced, or are you trying to R?

I use my fch for sex, but we are reconciled. I probably would not if we were S or D.

All you single ladies, get on with your bad selves!

Me(BW): 1970
WH(caveman): 1970
Married June, 2000
DDay#1 June 8, 2014 EA
DDay#2 12/05/14 confessed to sex before polygraph
Status: just living my life

posts: 6899   ·   registered: Dec. 1st, 2014   ·   location: Virginia
id 8448149
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Lostheart8 ( member #71607) posted at 3:34 PM on Sunday, October 6th, 2019

Hey, ladies...how do you handle rage at the OW?

My brain can logically know my rage should be completely at WBF. Yet, I’m so fucking mad at this woman.

How the fuck do you give away your time and energy to AP when you have an 8 yr son at home? (Sorry need to let it out). She must be empty bitch. The kid part bothers me a lot. How the fuck does she even have enough time for have an affair and a kid? Where the fuck does she find the time? Greedy bitch.

Worse part about this....she’s got a large IG following...people cover her in compliments about her account. She’s amazing....talented....courageous (she runs marathons as well and raises money for charity ). She’s a fucking fake.

Lately the word fuck ....it feels really good. Describes my anger to T.

I can’t believe how mad I am. Why aren’t I as mad at my stupid ass WBF? Maybe that’s coming next?

posts: 162   ·   registered: Sep. 17th, 2019
id 8448158
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EllieKMAS ( member #68900) posted at 5:00 PM on Sunday, October 6th, 2019

Happy Sunday girlies!

Yeah, I am fine for right now not even thinking about sex. Could be my anti-depressants but whatever the case I am glad that I don't want some.

NB - sending you hugs. You are gonna get through all this. How'd the house getting sold go?

LH - sending you some hugs too!

BBE - I'll be thinkin of you this week. Keeping my fingers crossed that court goes well!

And rage at the OW... well, I have plans on that. Not going to divulge too much, but let's just say that I hope she is comfortable and enjoying life right now. Cus in the not too distant future her life is not going to be pleasant anymore. I'm not doing anything illegal no worries. Stay tuned!

"No, it's you mothafucka, here's a list of reasons why." – Iliza Schlesinger

"Being weird is just a side effect of being awesome."– Unknown

posts: 3145   ·   registered: Nov. 22nd, 2018   ·   location: CO
id 8448186
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DaisyAnne ( member #71434) posted at 5:39 PM on Sunday, October 6th, 2019

Ooh Ellie, I am so intrigued!

LH, I could have written your post. I absolutely hate the OW.

.people cover her in compliments about her account. She’s amazing....talented....courageous (she runs marathons as well and raises money for charity ). She’s a fucking fake

Before I blocked her on FB, I would read people saying how sweet she is. How successful she is at her business. . I so badly wanted to add in a comment how this sweet, successful bitch also knowingly had an affair with a married man with two children. She also is a stalker who bought a house 500 miles from her home/family (including a son) to be 15 minutes from this married man. Yes, she’s sweet as pie. I would love to out her so people can really see what a horrible, rotten excuse for a human being she is. All i can do now is hope karma bites her in the ass.

To answer your question, i have no idea how to handle my rage. When you find out, please let me know.

Me: BW - early 40's
Him: WH - late 40's
Married: 18 years, together 24
2 teenage children
Dday: 5/23/19
Reconciling

posts: 241   ·   registered: Aug. 29th, 2019
id 8448200
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Newbeginnings24 ( member #71510) posted at 6:20 PM on Sunday, October 6th, 2019

OW rage!!!! I’ve had this too. But fortunately for me I’m not on social media and don’t have any temptation to try and find her. I have heard she is the complete opposite to me.

But let’s face it ladies, these OW don’t have everything, because they now have a whole lot of baggage that they didn’t know they had when they decided to steal a man from another woman.

Ive had another shit day! Argument with WH over money. He’s back!!!! Reobsessed with OW and back on his ME, ME, ME game. He asked me today to move in with my parents when I told him to leave me alone!

Thanks Ellie, house has been up a week but no interest yet. It can’t sell quick enough. I’ve got DD birthday this week to concentrate on and her tea party. As you can imagine he’s not arranged anything for her and his mother is sorting cake etc for at her house for him - pathetic!

DDay....it doesn’t matter, it’s in the past!

Having a soft heart in a cruel world is courage, not weakness - Katherine Henson.

Walk out of that door and don’t look back!

posts: 197   ·   registered: Sep. 8th, 2019   ·   location: England
id 8448213
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gmc94 ( member #62810) posted at 6:47 PM on Sunday, October 6th, 2019

LostHeart: I'm fortunate that my WH's girlfriend blocked me on FB, so I have no clue. I think it's better this way, cuz otherwise I could be spending energy stalking her. So, I have a good revenge fantasy every now & again (some of which i've posted on SI), and otherwise kind of go about my beeswax. As to the rage? I don't know anything other than letting it flow and process. Takes time. Some folks write letters & burn them. I used to write in my journal. I'm not one to try and pretend those feelings aren't there, so I don't feel I ever tried to push that anger aside. I need to vent and process, but most of it has passed - at least for today. Like everything else in infidelity, I never know when something I felt I'd processed rears its ugly head again.

SB: I gotta echo BigBlue - either find something casual (I hear bumble is cool) or get out the credit card at the "toy" store.

NB24: I'm glad you are having good days! And 'faithful' to the OW

Hey BigBlue - just remember you have a TON of folks here on SI sending you mental strength. Tho we can't have your back IRL, we do in the virtual one. Big Hugs to you!!!

DaisyAnne - that living a lie to the outside world sucks. I've seen other BS post they are fine with others not knowing and I kind of envy that ability to just view it as a personal boundary that's none of anyone else's business. I've told my family and two friends who live out of state (so if we were to R it wouldn't be awkward). I'm sorry you're in that spot. I feel like by witholding something so huge from my friends I'm lying to them and I don't like it, but it seems to be the least bad of all bad options. KWIM?

So, WH and I have been seeing each other the past few weekends. Last night he raised some good questions. I think the discussion was reasonably productive. He raised some shit on my side of the street that I need to look at and apologize for. I can't say that any of it was game changing, but it felt like he's actively trying, which is a shift. And I'm managing to stay more calm (also a shift). I asked if he felt being S has been good and he said it has, and agreed when I suggested it was bc he wasn't walking on eggshells all the time. Anyhow, it wasn't perfect (some selfishness, some victimizing himself, etc) but it was better.

Happy Sunday?

M >25yrs/grown kids
DD1 1994 ONS prostitute
DD2 2018 exGF1 10+yrEA & 10yrPA... + exGF2 EA forever & "made out" 2017
9/18 WH hung himself- died but revived

It's rude to say "I love you" with a mouthful of lies

posts: 3369   ·   registered: Feb. 22nd, 2018
id 8448219
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Lostheart8 ( member #71607) posted at 7:29 PM on Sunday, October 6th, 2019

Thanks ladies. Just to vent and NOT have someone say...”don’t think that way.....you’re the better person....don’t waste your time feeling angry”....just makes me more angry.

Thanks for the support. Feeling so good.

Ellie oh...girl....make us happy. May the force be with you to fight the dark side.

Daisy Ann I truly hate social media. It’s mostly fake. Now it’s got an extra layer of fake for me. 3000 people follow her....the reality is ..... we have no fucking clue who these woman are.

Yeah, if I figure the rage thing out....I’ll past it on. In the meantime I’ll vent here.

Newbeginnings. Oh that’s a good point, I’m going to guess the OW will have to face herself. I’m pretty sure my WBF has told her the cat is out of bag. How much he told her...don’t know but they will have to live with it.

I can hold my head high....never ever been the slightest interest in cheating. I’ve been offered many opportunities....told these guys to go home to their wives.

Big hugs with stuff with WH.

Happy Sunday? Well, it could be better... it’s laundry day.

posts: 162   ·   registered: Sep. 17th, 2019
id 8448231
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EllieKMAS ( member #68900) posted at 7:48 PM on Sunday, October 6th, 2019

True dat LH - I'm doin laundry today too. My absolute least favorite chore.

But on the upside I did wash my sheets and shave my legs, so I get to enjoy one of my favorite simple pleasures tonight and slide into a fresh clean smelly-good bed with smooth legs

"No, it's you mothafucka, here's a list of reasons why." – Iliza Schlesinger

"Being weird is just a side effect of being awesome."– Unknown

posts: 3145   ·   registered: Nov. 22nd, 2018   ·   location: CO
id 8448243
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Lostheart8 ( member #71607) posted at 8:03 PM on Sunday, October 6th, 2019

Lol...omg....Ellie...I shaved my legs too. I was looking a bit wild. One benefit of being single...can be lazy about shaving.

posts: 162   ·   registered: Sep. 17th, 2019
id 8448249
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EllieKMAS ( member #68900) posted at 8:06 PM on Sunday, October 6th, 2019

LH - For realz!!

I was getting rather sasquatch-y....

"No, it's you mothafucka, here's a list of reasons why." – Iliza Schlesinger

"Being weird is just a side effect of being awesome."– Unknown

posts: 3145   ·   registered: Nov. 22nd, 2018   ·   location: CO
id 8448250
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cocoplus5nuts ( member #45796) posted at 8:34 PM on Sunday, October 6th, 2019

I've never bought into the idea that the OP doesn't deserve any of our anger. They did wrong, too. Yes, our CPs are the ones who betrayed us, but the OPs assisted. They are co-conspirators. They deserve all the rage and hatred they get.

Is there a way to anonymously out her?

Me(BW): 1970
WH(caveman): 1970
Married June, 2000
DDay#1 June 8, 2014 EA
DDay#2 12/05/14 confessed to sex before polygraph
Status: just living my life

posts: 6899   ·   registered: Dec. 1st, 2014   ·   location: Virginia
id 8448264
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gmc94 ( member #62810) posted at 9:02 PM on Sunday, October 6th, 2019

Is there a way to anonymously out her?

Send me the info and I’ll out her! It can be like the Hitchcock film “strangers in a train” but without the murder stuff.

But on the super important side, quick poll:

Anybody here knew to use hair conditioner as the ‘cream’ to shave your legs? Works excellent for a shave w/o shower... no need to rinse bc it’ll just moisturize the legs.

A friend gave me this tip last summer. I was all “damn! Shaving my legs for 40 frigging years, and never knew!” Am I the only 1st world woman that had never heard of this?

#TheMoreYouKnow.

M >25yrs/grown kids
DD1 1994 ONS prostitute
DD2 2018 exGF1 10+yrEA & 10yrPA... + exGF2 EA forever & "made out" 2017
9/18 WH hung himself- died but revived

It's rude to say "I love you" with a mouthful of lies

posts: 3369   ·   registered: Feb. 22nd, 2018
id 8448274
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Newbeginnings24 ( member #71510) posted at 9:16 PM on Sunday, October 6th, 2019

Oh that would be so satisfying - they work together and everything all hush hush on that front. I would absolutely love to out them in the workplace. Let them feel a quarter of what I feel right now! She knew he was married and had a small child. But she’s teaching him to be free. That he was something he shouldn’t of been in our marriage. Marriage isn’t about agreeing and growing together it’s about doing what you want in life and if it’s ripping your whole life in two then what the hell, just do it because everyone will be happy in the end. Good advice OW, best I have ever heard!

Let’s hope it all comes back to bite him on the ass.

I never knew about shaving legs with conditioner. I will try that one. I to don’t have a reason to shave. Other than taking DD swimming of course.

DDay....it doesn’t matter, it’s in the past!

Having a soft heart in a cruel world is courage, not weakness - Katherine Henson.

Walk out of that door and don’t look back!

posts: 197   ·   registered: Sep. 8th, 2019   ·   location: England
id 8448277
Topic is Sleeping.
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