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Who lives alone?

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Notriangle posted 8/4/2019 19:59 PM

I am divorcing after 41 years of marriage. I don't want a new relationship with anyone else. I don't want to trust anyone again. I have never lived alone. The idea seems freeing and uncomplicated but also lonely. Who here lives alone?

Williesmom posted 8/4/2019 20:03 PM

I do. I was married for 19 years, and have been D for almost 11- living alone since the D.

I like living alone. Even though I have an SO who also lives alone, it works for us.

It's weird at first but so relaxing.

BearlyBreathing posted 8/4/2019 20:34 PM

Me! And i like it. Weird at first, but soon the freedom is soooo nice.

Phoenix1 posted 8/4/2019 21:31 PM

*raises hand*

Was with Xhole for almost 30 years and have been living alone since my youngest flew the coop almost five years ago. I LOVE it! But then, I'm an introvert and have always enjoyed/needed alone time, which was a rare event before this.

I've got an SO of 5.5+ years and we live about an hour apart. It's working for us, at least for now. Who knows what the future holds?

The hardest part, in the beginning, is finding your new "normal." I was a little discombobulated in the beginning, at least until the dust settled. Now, I absolutely love it. I can eat what I want (Xhole is very picky), when I want, go where I want when I want, decorate however I want without criticism, and the list goes on. I do a lot of house repairs myself, but am certainly capable of hiring qualified others if I don't want to deal with it.

Shehawk posted 8/5/2019 04:25 AM

I do. The quiet is nice. And the fact that no one yells at me. Or eats the last piece of chocolate.

steadychevy posted 8/5/2019 07:16 AM

I'm divorcing this year which is the 42nd year of our marriage. WW moved out, finally, on September 23, 2017. I've lived alone since then. I also lived alone before we married for a few years.

I live in a fairly remote rural area - 10 miles to my mail, 30 miles to a small trading centre, 100 miles to a city. I'm an introvert. Social gatherings stress me so I don't go to a lot of those. I am, however, involved with a number of organizations and am on the executive of most. I volunteer for community functions.

Having said all that, the evenings (when not at meetings) are long. I miss sharing with someone special, quiet companionship, physical touch. I would prefer to not live alone but only in a marital situation.

strad posted 8/5/2019 07:32 AM

I do and I love it. It takes getting used to but now I wouldn't have it any other way. I was married for a long time and this is the first time I've ever lived alone (and I'm really alone -- no SO or any indication that there will ever be one!).

Catwoman posted 8/5/2019 07:32 AM

I live alone. I like it most of the time, but sometimes I really miss having someone to share evenings with.

However, there's no one to blame for the mess in the kitchen!


Charity411 posted 8/5/2019 08:45 AM

I do. I'm to a point where I think it would be hard to live with someone else. There are certain things I miss. But not much.

It is freeing. It is also safe in my opinion. After how long it took me to become financially stable again, I have no desire to bring someone into my life that could possibly undo that.

Braveyogi posted 8/5/2019 09:33 AM

I do - with my two young kids. I was with my ex for over 20 years. Living without a partner is mixed - like others have said, I enjoy being alone and freedom from the toxic, insidious emotional abuse. The biggest impact has been financial - I now have control of my finances and make thoughtful financial decisions, something my ex did not prioritize. It took me three years to untangle the financial messes he made.

However, there is a sense of loneliness and longing for a companion. Since I'm not ready to date, I find other meaningful pursuits and hang out with dear friends. For now, loneliness is a small price to pay for freedom from abuse and manipulation.

WhoTheBleep posted 8/5/2019 09:49 AM

I have my kids 50% of the time. So 50% of the time I am completely alone in my house. I rescued a dog within 2 months of losing my last dog. She has helped immensely with the quiet and loneliness (and I am an introvert, and love my alone time).

I do have a SO, but he has his house and I have mine. He lives completely alone.

I love having my own space. I love not picking up after anyone but myself. If I want to lie in bed and eat popcorn and licorice and watch cheesy movies, I do it. If I want to take my mountain bike out and disappear for a couple of hours, I do it. If I want to have cheese and crackers and grapes for dinner, I do it (I do that a lot!!)

Notriangle, do you have a pet? My dog has brought much warmth and Joy to my house. I'm never ever lonely because I have her here.

Snapdragon posted 8/5/2019 09:57 AM

I live alone and I absolutely love it! In fact, I can't have a house guest for too long or I start to feel annoyed. I have a job that is very people orientated. So, coming home to my own space (with two cats) is refreshing.

Yes, it can be stressful when something happens (furnace goes out, kitchen faucet starts leaking) but I've learned how to manage all situations without help (except the plumber, electrician, etc.).

The place is mine and no one else has any input. From decor to cleanliness. All mine.

At first it was a bit odd to come home and not have anyone with whom to share my day. But, I was actually used to that since ex and I had a long in-house separate before divorce and I could move out. Loneliness can be cured by picking up the phone, sending an email or text, or even getting a volunteer job.

You will do fine.

wildbananas posted 8/5/2019 10:12 AM

I still have my youngest at home but other than that, I live alone. My SO of 6 years lives a few houses down from me (yep, really ). As a huge introvert, it's the best of both worlds for me.

We've talked very vaguely about maybe moving in together when my youngest goes to college but honestly, I'm not sure if I want to. I like my space way too much. He likes space too, so maybe he'll be good with it as well. Like Cat, we'll just have to see what happens.

Tigersrule77 posted 8/5/2019 10:30 AM

I also have 50% custody.

I definitely enjoy not having to go do things I don't want to or I can just sit and relax after work. Not having to deal with anyone can be very nice, especially after being in a toxic relationship for years.

I am trying to date, but haven't had much luck. I'm hoping that will change at some point, but if it doesn't, I'll be alright.

KVille posted 8/5/2019 10:51 AM

Waving hand !!! I am living alone after being with someone all my life. I love it.
That said I hate when I have a spider or something that I have to get rid of. My kitty and I enjoy our lives and will not change it. No dating and I do not want to. I am moving in less than two weeks to a new home near family, and at that point will have loads of people visiting.

Notriangle posted 8/5/2019 11:05 AM

Loving these responses!

WhoTheBleep, We have two large dogs and I will have custody of them post divorce. My husband is moving far away (I hope). The dogs are a wonderful source of comfort, very cuddly. Their needs have to be taken into consideration when I find new space to live though. They need room to run.

steadychevy, 42 years! You broke my record of 41 marriage years! I live in a rural area also, though less remote than yours. I am an introvert too. I like being by myself but I do need some socialization to feel happy. What types of organizations do you belong to?

I am mostly encouraged by the responses so far. Houses look lonely to me now, as I browse the real estate market but many of you seem to be thriving alone. Keep them coming.....Who else lives alone?

hcsv posted 8/5/2019 11:18 AM

Married 35 years. I have my oldest living with me right now but she is looking for a job and relocation out of the area.

I have realized that because ex worked 15 plus hours a day, 6-7 days a week while we were married, I was alone and lonely. Actually I felt abandoned.

But now I am alone but NOT lonely. Looking forward to the day soon when my daughter relocates.

I really don't mind being alone, I kind of like it. I reach out to friends when I need to.

luvbug0915 posted 8/5/2019 12:17 PM

I live alone and I love it.

I tried cohabitating with an ex some years back, but that lasted around 15 months before we decided to end our relationship. Since then I've lived completely alone with the exception of my 2 small dogs and very recently adopted cat.

My home is my sanctuary, it's where I go to escape the world. I can go for days without any type of outside communication, just me and my furry companions. My home is my happy place.

nothisfriend posted 8/5/2019 14:00 PM

I love love love living alone. I really never lived alone before; went straight from college to living with WXH. DS is away at school and just signed a lease on an apartment in the big city so I don't expect him to come back. BF is 2 years from retiring and will relocate to move in with me at that time. We/he has a summer place that he will likely spend a lot of time at because we both need our quiet time.

Best thing about living alone is that I can find everything. It all has a place, no clutter. Dishes are always done and I can clean my whole house in under 2 hours. I was accused of being a hoarder, but it turns out it wasn't me!
Popcorn for supper, walking around in my underwear, singing to the radio, sitting in the dark, getting out of bed when I can't sleep to go knit - these are all things I do.

And it's all mine! We could never afford a house (why?) and our credit was shit. Now I have excellent credit, own my home (me and the bank) and am planning to purchase a neighboring lot for cash. Life is very good.

Cheatee posted 8/5/2019 14:17 PM

I do, although my love interest is moving in to my house after I '"do-cootie-ize" it.

It's been lonely, but unexpectedly nice. Much easier to keep clean, I can do what I want, when I want.

My divorce happened (2016) when my youngest went off to college and the dogs had to be put down shortly thereafter for age-related health issues.

It's the first time I've had a truly empty nest since the Jimmy Carter Presidency.

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