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nothisfriend ( member #53171) posted at 9:29 PM on Monday, August 5th, 2019
Has anyone seen that HGTV show called Un-Spouse Your House? I saw one episode and it was very well done - thoughtful and positive focused.
Me: BS 50 (at the time) Him: WH 53 (at the time) D-Day: 10/25/15 Married: 28 years. One son, age 18 (at the time)
D final 2016 REMARRIED to a marvelous guy on 4/22/23
steadychevy ( member #42608) posted at 11:03 PM on Monday, August 5th, 2019
Notriangle, I chair the board of a natural gas co-op, VP policy on a provincial constituency association (political), board of local Citizens On Patrol (COP) (rising rural crime rate), member of a ranchers grip called Profit Centred, volunteer with community organization for special events (flipped hamburgers last weekend), former director of the provincial beef cattle association but get called in occasionally for brain storming. And 9 grandchildren located 50 minutes west, 2 hours east and 4 1/2 hours south. Other than that I just tend my cows, feed my few chickens, cats and dog.
ETA: Church most Sundays, 60 km away.
[This message edited by steadychevy at 5:05 PM, August 5th (Monday)]
BH(me)72(now); XWW 64; M 42 yrsDDay1-01/09/13;DDay2-26/10/13;DDay3-19/12/13;DDay4-21/01/14LTA-09/02-06/06? OM - COW 4 years; "dates" w/3 lovers post engagement;ONS w/stranger post commitment, lies, lies, liesSeparated 23/09/2017; D 16/03/2020
Notriangle (original poster member #70597) posted at 2:12 AM on Tuesday, August 6th, 2019
I guess I will need to get more involved in groups,hobbies,etc. I used to be a musician but I lost much of my hearing a few years ago.I have two grandkids but they are growing up fast.
I put too many eggs in the marriage basket. Big mistake!
phmh ( member #34146) posted at 2:22 AM on Tuesday, August 6th, 2019
I also live alone and I also love it!
I had never lived alone - parents' house to college roommates, to married.
I am a huge extrovert, so was a bit worried, but I LOVE it! (In fact, if you read the fear vs. reality thread, living alone was one of my fears. Ha! It's so great!)
I bought my dream house and am slowly renovating it so it's exactly what I want.
I love not having to check in with anyone on plans - I can work late, or make impromptu plans and stay out until 2 am (which I hardly do anymore but did a few times early on, just because I could!)
I love cooking and experimenting with different flavors. And also hate grocery shopping. But I can make weird dinners with leftover pantry items and it's just me to eat it, so no complaints, even if things didn't quite turn out.
I can blast podcasts or music or whatever I want around the house.
All the food I buy is still there when I want it later. Even ice cream will be there next week!
I can wake up early to run at 5 am and no one complains about me waking them up.
Since I am an extrovert, I wind up having plans most nights of the week (I am trying to stay home more because I love staying home so much, but there are so many fun things to do...)
I could just gush forever. I have a wonderful SO of nearly 4 years. I expect to be with him the rest of our lives, but I don't foresee us living together. I guess you never know the future, so maybe he'll move in at some point, but not any time soon. We love going on vacation and have spent two weeks together nonstop and that was super fun too. But both of us were happy to get back to our own places. It's called LAT (Living Apart Together) and that might just be my future!
Me: BW, divorced, now fabulous and happy!
Married: 11 years, no kids
Character is destiny
EvenKeel ( member #24210) posted at 1:52 PM on Tuesday, August 6th, 2019
I am two weeks from being an empty-nester.
While I have emotions revolving around that (DD flying the nest); I do not have concerns about living alone.
Like others have related, I like my own space. I have a lot of stuff around the house I need to tackle that has been on the 'to-do' list forever.
It will be an adjustment but we can do it. 
Good vibes to you during this transition!
[This message edited by EvenKeel at 11:15 AM, August 6th (Tuesday)]
myturntohurt ( member #70983) posted at 2:36 PM on Wednesday, August 7th, 2019
I hope this is not considered hijacking a thread, still new to this.
I am newly separated and have been alone for five nights now. I heard a noise the other night and thought, oh, that's just Otis (the dog, changed names for privacy:)) but then remembered that Otis
isn't here anymore. What was that noise?
I don't know if I should lock my bedroom door at night or leave it open so I can listen. I live in a safe area, I shouldn't worry so much.
Also, I have to be very careful about what buttons I push on the remote because if I screw something up, I'm without TV. I can already see my lack of tech skills being a problem. But, I'm liking it and have found that I am NOT sulking or thinking about our situation! I have pets! I have so many hobbies, the house is full of hobby supplies, and I'm good to go. Oh, and I haven't even wanted a drink since he's been gone. We started becoming toxic with our drinking towards the end, and that was stress driven. Just wanted to give a "newly living alone" perspective.
Me: WW
Him: BS
EA/PA 4 months, DDay 11/2012
Married 25yrs, DD 23, DS 19
Separated as of Aug 1, '19
dreamlife ( member #8142) posted at 4:21 PM on Wednesday, August 7th, 2019
I am at the 3 month mark of living alone after my partner's sudden death. 
It has been surreal.
I have 2 parakeets to care for.
~XWH told me what I wanted to hear but he always did whatever he wanted to do~
"He called me a bitch.
I called him an ambulance."
Linda H.)
wildbananas ( member #10552) posted at 8:37 PM on Wednesday, August 7th, 2019
Aw, dream... I didn't know. I'm so sorry! Big hugs to you.
Travel light, live light, spread the light, be the light. ~ Yogi Bhajan
WhoTheBleep ( member #49504) posted at 9:16 PM on Wednesday, August 7th, 2019
I believe we have two lives: the one we learn with, and the one we live with after that. --The Natural
dreamlife ( member #8142) posted at 9:21 PM on Wednesday, August 7th, 2019
Thanks, Nannerz & Who!
~XWH told me what I wanted to hear but he always did whatever he wanted to do~
"He called me a bitch.
I called him an ambulance."
Linda H.)
Chili ( member #35503) posted at 2:39 PM on Thursday, August 8th, 2019
dreamlife! I'm so sorry to hear this news. Sending good things your way today.
~~~~~~
As to the original thread: I'm a LAT-er too. Love living alone. Like others, not sure what the future holds with SO as we ease out of our respective life responsibilities, but in no rush to figure it all out.
My NB puppy has been my solid running buddy for 7 years and as Bleep said - I am never ever lonely.
(And probably look like an idiot just chattering away to him all day long, but canines do bring out the goofy in us).
I'm pretty handy, but realize I just have to bite the bullet and hire help for things outside of my comfort zone. Luckily I plan for this with my income and always have a "crap - that's broken" fund. SO is a huge help when he is able, but I have clear boundaries on this issue since he has his own digs to take care of. (Although I might have KISA called him once when my main sewer backed up in the laundry room. HELP!)
In deciding where you want to live, I would recommend thinking a fair bit about what kind of maintenance you are willing to do. I have a huge outdoor space that is fully planted in wildflowers and perennials and landscaped by me over the last 20+ years. It is a huge amount of work even though I love puttering out there. Some people like very small yards to maintain. Others like newer construction that is easier to deal with (and keep clean). My house is fairly old and I've rehabbed almost every inch of it through the years. Fun, but again - a time and money sucker if it's not your thing. It's not always exciting to shell out $$$$ for something like a new roof, but at the end of the day I am one proud homeowner. And it's mine mine mine. All mine.
I have a friend who just bought a place smack in the middle of a large city, but joined a community garden so he could still putter in the soil. Just food for thought!
You might be surprised how much you dig it. I've become much more of a homebody than I ever thought I would be.
2012 pretty much sucked.
Things no longer suck.
Took off flying solo with the co-pilot chili dog.
"Life teaches you how to live it if you live long enough" - Tony Bennett
dblackstar2002 ( member #70704) posted at 7:18 PM on Thursday, August 8th, 2019
I live alone. I am 54 and have never felt alone sense i have start living this way. I have made friends, Have several hobbies and date a lot. I discovered long ago, There is a huge difference between being lonely and being alone. Cultivate an active life for your self, Trust Me Your life will get a lot better....
Notriangle (original poster member #70597) posted at 9:38 PM on Thursday, August 8th, 2019
I am so glad to hear about all of your happy, living alone stories. WH has plans to skip off and live happily ever after with his AP. I will be left alone and I can't even think about the possibility of having another man in my life ever. We were high school sweethearts and married way too early. After 41 years, I will be living alone for the first time in my life. I am hoping for a positive experience but I am also afraid. Your stories are helping me. I can't take more hurt or betrayal. I just want to count on me from here on out.
WhoTheBleep ( member #49504) posted at 5:03 PM on Friday, August 9th, 2019
I just want to count on me from here on out
That is the best attitude and plan to have. That is exactly what you are going to do. And as the months go by, you are going to realize that you can absolutely count on yourself for everything. You will feel settled. Your confidence will go up. Your whole energy will change. As you begin to reveal that energy to the people around you, that confident self-respecting energy, the right people will be drawn to you. You might even find you feel strong enough and healthy enough to want to date again. And you might just put yourself out there, and you might just meet a great person for you.
The possibilities are endless once you heal. Being on your own and relying on you alone is going to heal you. I hope you share your journey with us. This is a whole new beginning for you. It's going to be a good thing.
[This message edited by WhoTheBleep at 11:04 AM, August 9th (Friday)]
I believe we have two lives: the one we learn with, and the one we live with after that. --The Natural
cancuncrushed ( member #28156) posted at 9:48 PM on Saturday, August 10th, 2019
I have been separated for just over a year...D is now final....I will be moving in 2 weeks...to my first home alone. In the city...
Its been weird...I am very introverted...however, I like someone at home.....I like to plan a future and enjoy a dinner out once in a while... it feels lonely...I spend all holidays alone...that's new..
I am glad to be out of infidelity...the lies...the stress of proving...I have not dated...not sure I will or can....most people I know at 61 do not date...they are D or widowed....I feel like I am in a new category, with people losing spouses to death..
It feels unfair...I am aware Wh is now without AP, he continues to date....its not that easy for the woman...the age gap matters...
I have been busy with moving selling and legal matters....its about to come to a very quiet stand still.....I walk a lot..
Im looking forward to learning my new area...new neighbors...and finding a new church...life is still changing..
[This message edited by cancuncrushed at 3:55 PM, August 10th (Saturday)]
dreamlife ( member #8142) posted at 11:12 PM on Saturday, August 10th, 2019
Thanks, Chili! Yes, all your posts are helping me a lot also w/ this Widow fog clouding my thinking .
I want to sell next year and move.
Need to keep my health good to do this.
"Health is wealth".
The gardener I called gave me a $500 quote just to weed whack my front yard yesterday...ugh, damn vulture! 
~XWH told me what I wanted to hear but he always did whatever he wanted to do~
"He called me a bitch.
I called him an ambulance."
Linda H.)
WhoTheBleep ( member #49504) posted at 11:31 PM on Saturday, August 10th, 2019
The gardener I called gave me a $500 quote just to weed whack my front yard yesterday...ugh, damn vulture!
Whaaaatt!!! I hate people who prey on others. Especially older single women. POS's!!
Also, I'm lying in bed eating cheese, crackers, and grapes and watching episode after episode Poldark on Masterpiece. Yes, Masterpiece!! No man would ever watch Masterpiece with me! Haha!! Life is good!!
[This message edited by WhoTheBleep at 5:32 PM, August 10th (Saturday)]
I believe we have two lives: the one we learn with, and the one we live with after that. --The Natural
Notriangle (original poster member #70597) posted at 2:02 AM on Sunday, August 11th, 2019
Cancuncrushed,
I can very much relate to you. I am turning 60 soon. I am an introvert and I walk alot. I don't think I actually want to date again but I know what you mean about age making that more difficult for women. There are many more women than men in our age bracket. I hate that you spend holidays alone.
Palmetto9213 ( new member #71217) posted at 2:00 AM on Monday, August 12th, 2019
I am living alone after 13 years of marriage, I have been separated for 7 months and I am adjusting to my new "normal"...I love most aspects of it, (only have to clean up after myself, things are the same when I get home as when I left that morning, I can decorate to please my tastes), the feeling of PEACE is the thing I love the most! If I feel alone, I reach out to a friend or family member, or I intentionally find something to do!
BS-59Y/O Female
WS-66 Y/O Male
Married 13 years
Divorce finalized 6-22-20
"Darling-that soft spot you have for broken things is going to make you bleed"....but I decided I was not willing to bleed to death!
Notriangle (original poster member #70597) posted at 7:21 PM on Tuesday, August 13th, 2019
I just spent the weekend with my single sister and my cousin,also single. They both love living alone and assure me that I will love it too. Still frightened but trying to wrap my head around that idea. It is what would have happened if my husband died, right? I am probably going to outlive him by a good margin anyway. Hope that is a healthy attitude.
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