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If you mess with her, it messes with their kids too iof she is upset. This is just misplaced and wrong.

If she is upset then I guess she probably will lash out on her husband. Even if she does not, her husband knows that she is upset...

I'm sure they just throw your card away at this point: I agree that they probably just unite against you now.

If this is the case then no harm done. In this case, who cares? I felt good about sending it and they had laugh and unite against me. What is more likely svenario? I only got an angry response after the first year I sent it. It actually came from a WS...

[This message edited by Analyst at 6:57 PM, November 29th (Wednesday)]

How many years have you been sending the cards?

I sent a family collage Christmas card to the OW for 3 years post Dday (12/19).

Only addressed to her and my thought was to make her anxious and nervous bc she lied, lied, lied about the A to her BH and he chose to believe her.

I was pissed and bitter at HER but not him or their children. She was a SAHM so I figured she would get the mail.

It wasn't my intent to cause the OBS or the family hurt but I see now how it could. And no one really knows what has happened in their world or what they have been dealing with soooo....

I get it but letting it go is more for you than for the AP.

(((hugs)))

Trying,

How many years have you been sending the cards?

2015-sent for Thanksgiving (first holiday after DD) and got an angry response;

2016-sent for X-mas;

2017-sent last week;

What is your name and where do you live, Analyst? I’d like to send knowledge of this thread to the OBS so she knows that you are trying to mess with her, and her children. Hopefully she uses it to file harassment, intentional infliction of emotional distress, and negligent infliction of emotional distress cases against you. You deserve it. Maybe you need something like this to happen in order to constructively deal with your anger.

You are allowing your anger to control your life. I’m not suggesting that you not feel this anger. Rather, you need to find constructive outlets for it. This isn’t constructive.

[This message edited by Drumstick at 7:31 PM, November 29th (Wednesday)]

To those who have suggested that I might be in legal troubles and/or OBS/WH should go to the police I could assure that nothing will happen.

You ARE breaking the law. You were told to stop contacting them,, and you continue to do so, for the sole purpose of annoying and hurting them. Law enforcement background here. Police departments take these charges VERY seriously. I've personally seen many many people locked up over just the petty shit you are doing. In fact, it is one of the most common charges cops encounter. That and minor drug offenses.

But hey, go ahead and roll the dice.

Or, better yet, move on with your life. You're opening a window into your life, letting them know how much pain you are still in 3 years later. Sounds like this would, in fact, PLEASE the POSOM.

But go ahead, keep feeding his ego.

Can I get your XWW's address? Because I'd like to send HER a card congratulating her for escaping a sociopathic husband.

^^^^^.

Latebloomer you beat me to it!!!

So, I had to think about this some last night when I was trying to sleep.

You see, the first two years after dday, I sent cards to ap #1 (#2 is a nutbag, no use in fucking with a dude who's already fucked in the head... plus my revenge need there was more along the lines of phone numbers made on stall walls and a call to the medical board over his practice for ethics reasons).

These carefully prepared, fingerprint free "cards" said something simple along the lines of 'ap#1, I haven't forgotten what you did, and I'm still coming for you.'

(Not giving exact wording for benefit of my own anonymity.)

That first one was so close to dday, and I was so mentally damaged... hell I might have halfway meant it. The second year, was just to fuck with the dude. Nothing past that because my laziness quota superceded my feeling the need to do it.

So, last night, I had to think about it... if he shared it with his bw, what would she think? What if she was honestly scared for his life or that she might be collateral damage? How different was what I did from what analyst says he's doing?

And I don't know that what I did is that much different...

WhoTheBleep,

In fact, it is one of the most common charges cops encounter. That and minor drug offenses.

Not true:

"According to statistics obtained from the FBI, a property crime was reported about every three seconds in the U.S., and a violent crime was reported about every 22 seconds. Those are sobering statistics. Contrary to what most people think, property crimes are by far the most reported crimes in the United States, not violent crimes; property crimes are about ten times more prevalent than violent crimes. Property crimes reported annually total more than ten million, while violent crimes hover somewhere between 1 and 1 1/2 million each year." It is a quote but you can google the source.

The cops more than likely not do anything but....

OOP are issued by courts, not cops.

Your sending information to his last employer can et you in trouble as you are not a party to the communication.

The fact that you have been asked to stop and have not plus what you did above can put you in at the very least TRO tetrritory.

Is this worth risking your job for.

Not true:

"According to statistics obtained from the FBI, a property crime was reported about every three seconds in the U.S., and a violent crime was reported about every 22 seconds. Those are sobering statistics. Contrary to what most people think, property crimes are by far the most reported crimes in the United States, not violent crimes; property crimes are about ten times more prevalent than violent crimes. Property crimes reported annually total more than ten million, while violent crimes hover somewhere between 1 and 1 1/2 million each year." It is a quote but you can google the source.

Great to see that you looked up a fact, Analyst. Amazing. You deserve a treat.

How is looking up a fact, that is truly of little importance to your thread, valuable? Is it because you were actually interested in learning about crime statistics in the US? Or, is it because you want to deflect from the general disgust the commenters have shown here in response to your actions and continual defense of your position, and thereby you get to spend another moment without having to taking a look inward at yourself and constructively channeling the anger (which you rightly have, by the way), because that would be hard work, and require you to mature as a human being?

I suspect the reason is most closely related to the later. Just sayin!

P.S. Ya... you shouldn’t have to do work because of a situation someone else created (e.g., your exWW and the OM). Nevertheless, life ain’t fair. Get over it!

Not true:

"According to statistics obtained from the FBI, a property crime was reported about every three seconds in the U.S., and a violent crime was reported about every 22 seconds. Those are sobering statistics. Contrary to what most people think, property crimes are by far the most reported crimes in the United States, not violent crimes; property crimes are about ten times more prevalent than violent crimes. Property crimes reported annually total more than ten million, while violent crimes hover somewhere between 1 and 1 1/2 million each year." It is a quote but you can google the source.

I said "charges," not crimes reported. A suspect who is positively identified (You signed the cards!!) Gets charged.

In my professional experience, most property crimes go unsolved. Cops take a report for your smashed mailbox, and the suspect is never apprehended.

I repeat, you signed the card. Most suspects who harass a victim (and use their voice over a phone, or sign a card in your case) are identified and charged.

Poor deflection attempt. Back on topic:. You broke the law with the 2nd and 3rd cards you sent. Facts are facts.

Analyst- no moral high horse or ethics argument from me. I doubt you will get in trouble legally, doubt you will get fired, from a a legal standpoint you’re right, this is minor. What you need to understand, sifting through everyone’s projection of disgust and subsequent bashing of you, is that there is a reason everyone is revolted. Plain and simple the obs is a defenseless sheep you are taking to slaughter in order to get your pound of flesh. I get wanting to hurt the OM gravely. I get not feeling responsible for his child’s ailments...callous yes, but your fault? No. It’s the disgust felt that you take enjoyment in his wife’s suffering. She did nothing to you. If anything, she is your ally and you’re too blind to see it. She understands your suffering, she knows your feeling of unfairness. Have you ever communicated with her prior? For what it’s worth, punishing the OM obviously will make you feel better, but it’s just a bandage on a gunshot. You gotta keep replacing it to stop the blood from flowing. What you need to do is let the wound scar 2x over. Harden yourself and become a better man, a man women better than your ex would want. I’m no saint man, I don’t believe in priding myself in following the moral high road. Hell, i ended up sleeping with the OMs OBS. It came from a place of mutual sympathy and compassion, not misplaced hatred and cruelty. The side bonus was the suffering it caused OM. So from a certain standpoint, im just as dirty as you. But the key difference is still holding compassion for the innocent. To feel sorrow for those who don’t deserve pain. To be emotionally intelligent and caring. Those attributes determine whether you’re good or evil. Sure, i got revenge, but i didn’t hurt anyone but the evil ones. I cared for the good ones. You can’t say the same, and people’s opinions of you (other posters, obs) reflect that don’t they? Look inward. Be a person people want to like, and karma will take care of the rest. The way you do things now will leave you a pariah and perpetually wounded.

How different was what I did from what analyst says he's doing?

NTV, within the confines of the law, not much difference there. Within the confines of SI, you get a bit of a pass, as your communication was never meant to be seen by OBS.

Hell, I still think about sending a letter of some sort. What stops me, other than not giving these whores the satisfaction...is the law. I like my freedom. Don't want to spend the night in a cage, and a TOP pinned on my a**. That's just me.

Analyst,

So you are sending "revenge" cards to an innocent woman because she's married to OM. None of which made any promises to you.

What are you doing to your XWW? Who actually broke the promises to you?

I do question why I feel that way. Any ideas?

You clearly don't give a flying fuck about answering this question. You're just here to brag about being a soulless jerk.

I'm done wasting my time, hope my fellow SI'ers will join me in ignoring this thread.

So, last night, I had to think about it... if he shared it with his bw, what would she think? What if she was honestly scared for his life or that she might be collateral damage? How different was what I did from what analyst says he's doing?

And I don't know that what I did is that much different...

Yes it is.

Analyst has specifically targeted the OBS. The cards are being sent directly to her with the intent to inflict pain. There is a total disregard of her as a human being who has already suffered through pain that he knows all too well himself yet is happy to inflict on another BS. It is willfully being vindictive towards the innocent.

You NTV did not do that. You aimed your hate and anger at the person who deserved to be on the receiving end, that being the AP. If his BW ever saw those cards that was not of your doing. I don't for a moment believe you would intentionally inflict pain upon a fellow BS. Chances are the OM never even mentioned them to her. What purpose would there have been in doing that?

You lay awake wondering if the OBS was unintentional collateral damage and stressing over it. Analyst on the other hand has a stunning disregard towards an innocent woman and child and is callously labeling them as collateral damage and not giving a shit.

There's no comparison. None.

As much as I do not like violence and do not condone it, I would much rather read a post where you kicked the guy's ass rather than you reveling (yes, that's what you're doing) in your repeated harassment and abuse his wife.

Side note: If you keep it up, it just may be you that gets YOUR ASS kicked by her husband.

Yes, my husband cheated on me years ago, but even at the height of his cheating, he would have pummeled anyone that had the nerve to harass and abuse me in any shape or form.

You might want to watch your back - just an observation.