We met & (I was lead to believe) we’re exclusive in 2008.
Got married in 2013....7/6/2103 to be exact.
Found out on 6/24/2018, that he’d been with someone else for 14 years!
Shit hit the fan.....he sobbed uncontrollably when he told me!
He was leading a total different life! And as a master manipulator, I was duped!
I lost my mind!
The man I thought was the “one”, my everything, my husband, my friend & protector had lied to me from the very beginning!
I feel like this has changed my entire chemical makeup!
It’s been a little more than 2 years that I found out.
I feel like the man who I cherished, adored, respected and loved, like I’ve never loved anyone else, has died!
We’ve been to therapy, both together & individually.
He swears that he’s changed....(of course)
As of current, I still don’t trust him, I’m not attracted to him & feel stuck!
I feel like I’m in an arranged marriage to someone that I barely can stand! Looking at him is a constant reminder of everything!
As a result, I don’t care about him & cannot bring myself to forgive him!
I am the most minimal wife to him ever!
I’ve created a wall!
On the flip side, I have gained a sense of strength...along with more of a “FU” attitude.
The more I see him, the more disgusted I become!
This is the ultimate betrayal & to think of how trustworthy I was to him, and all the effort he put in to constantly lie to me, has become, not my only an obsession for me, but just a complete blow!
No matter what I do, I cannot forgive how he misled me!
So now, I’m still married, I don’t wear my rings, have blocked him on all of my social media & have given myself a free pass to find someone else!
We’ve become stagnant & I don’t feel guilty at all!
I’m have my good days & bad days, but try to find other things that distract me to how much he destroyed “us”!
I’m a good looking woman, strong & confident in myself!
I think the thing that gets me most, is that he once made me feel I was EVERYTHING & I believed it!
Now everything has dissipated & we’re slowly deteriorating!
I just want that special feeling that I used to have, for someone else who can appreciate it!
I’m checked out....until I find someone else who is worthy for my attention, love & my insatiable appetite for sex!
Can anyone else relate?
It’s embarrassing to even be married to a man I don’t respect & it shows!