Newest Member: CrazyLikeAFox

Marlita

I filed for divorce, but am really struggling!

So after nearly 6 years after keeping his infidelity to myself…. my family was noticing that something was "off" with me.
From the beginning of "d-day", I vowed that I would rather die before telling my kids, from a previous relationship, that he had helped raised.
After realizing that they detected something was not right, I came to terms with them (whom are both now adults), that i HAD to tell them!
So I did….
It was awful and everything that I feared!
I have filed for divorce!
We were together for 15 years, 10 of those years we were married!
Fast forward 3 months or so, still in the mist of the divorce, I find myself mad…at him for single handedly destroying our marriage and our family!
I am struggling with getting over this!!

4 comments posted: Friday, March 8th, 2024

I think I’m ready

It’s been nearly 5-1/2 years since dd day and I’m thinking about divorce…
Any pre-words of advice?
No kids together.
Married 10+ years.
Not looking for anything more than what I’m owed.
He doesn’t know yet.
Any words of advice are welcomed.
Thank you.
P.s. we live in a "no fault" state and own a house together

8 comments posted: Tuesday, October 31st, 2023

It’s been 5-1/2 years since dday..

Still married, not happily…just coasting along.
The arguments have pretty much ended, but our communication about anything other than life’s basic day to day, has pretty much dissipated.
No sex for me, in months….not that I don’t want it or need it, but he’s a complete turn off to me!
For some reason, I feel like something better will come along or I’ll get some kind of "sign" of better things to come.
I’ve never been so "Betwixed", however I feel if I continue to coast along, and be patient, then maybe something will happen…a sign, an answer…something…

So lost here…

4 comments posted: Monday, October 23rd, 2023

What would you do?

We met 2008. Married 2013. Discovered he’d been with someone else, about 1 week before our 5th wedding anniversary, for years even before I met him!
That said, and ever since, we have never celebrated ANYTHING together!
Birthday, holidays, and especially our "anniversary"!
Still married….out of convenience.
He is very remorseful and somber, and says he’s changed!
My view???? I don’t hate him, but hate what he did to us.
Before I discovered his infidelity , I had him on a pedestal!!!
As a result, I have changed my "wifely" ways, with no problem!
Silver lining? I’ve become super independent!
He’s no longer deserving of having the privilege that I once, happily provided him…breakfast, packing his lunches, homemade dinners, laundry, sexual adventures, etc..
My current situation, I’ve booked a 5 day cruise, with the girls!
I haven’t told him yet, as our situation still sucks.
The kicker?
The cruise is booked for the week of our 10th wedding anniversary!!
I definitely am conflicted as I know he’s not going to be thrilled, but I am!
Any suggestions as to how I can tell him…?
The cruise isn’t until July.
Should I wait to tell him or tell him shortly before the trip?

2 comments posted: Thursday, March 2nd, 2023

Today is 4 years since the “day”! (moved to General)

  This Topic has been moved to General

0 comment posted: Saturday, June 25th, 2022

Still in the Just Found Out Stage…after almost 4 years!

6/24/18 was dday.
Not a day/minute/second has gone by without thoughts of my betrayal, since i found out!
Still married, my choice…for many reasons.
As of current, everything else is good in my life except my marriage!
Am I the only one in this position?
I can’t look at him the same, for one second!
He’s trying, but the damage is soooo deep, that there is no coming back from this, to me.
I’m too old to throw this "institution" away.
We’re merely ships passing in the wind.
I don’t feel sorry for myself, but I am beyond angry at him still!
There’s no amount of therapy can sway my feelings…I’ve already come to terms with this.
I have not only mourned the death of who I thought I married, but as a result I’ve become completely independent from him.
It’s certainly NOT what I signed up for, but it is what it is.
Funny, he made mention to me as to why I don’t cook for him anymore…(he’s mentioned this more than once).
It spears my heart every time he says it and I recently said…"You made that choice! Not me."
It kicked him back a little, but I had to say it.
As I no longer do fraction of what I did for him before.
HE made this choice and I don’t feel bad one bit.

Can anyone else relate?

See my profile for details.

I’m open for any discussion

-checked out

27 comments posted: Tuesday, April 19th, 2022

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