Your business situation is confusing to me. I'm an engineer, not an accountant/business type, so that's not hard to do (confuse me). Let me see if I am hearing you right:
-You own the business Correct
*Does this mean your name only is on: loans, leases, equipment purchases, bank accounts, etc? Mostly yes, all our accounts are in my name. My husband has just one loan in his name that is for the business. I have no loans but I have several outstanding debts as I've mentioned.
*How did this come to be in your name only? Because of his previous divorce. The ex had nothing to do with his business whatsoever during their marriage. It was totally his, 100%. When they split, he was only required to pay a small amount of child support each month. Back then, his business was not very profitable so he didn't want to pay her additional child support in case the business grew (which it has). So that's why he sold the business to me, before we got married, to avoid us having to pay more in child support. Additionally, we signed a prenuptial agreement to create another layer of financial protection from her (she is quite litigious and jealous).
*Did you start this business as your idea or was it his idea that he made you do the background work for? It was all his business. He started out having me run the office (customer service, scheduling, payroll, taxes, invoicing, etc.) while he managed sales, employees, ordering, project management & physical labor. Our roles have changed a bit over time, but I still run the office. I took over sales and money management, and he still manages employees and projects but on a larger scale. Like much larger. And he does most of the decision making and I'm okay with that, I hate making decisions.
*What was his credit like when you started the business? Was yours better and so you were the one to take the loan out? I was young so my credit wasn't great, and he was going through bankruptcy due to the divorce so his credit was not great either.
-You have debt that would not be erased because of state taxes if you claimed bankruptcy? Yes, sales tax does not go away because it is collected. I could erase other debts with bankruptcy, but unfortunately the sales tax debt is substantial.
*Have you talked to a tax lawyer? Or a business lawyer? PM me if you need recommendations, I have a few friends I can ask. We haven't yet. We have a business lawyer but we have been through the bankruptcy process from my husband's divorce about a decade ago and his sales tax didn't go away.
-Your husband is only an employee and not a co-owner on this company
*If you are his employer and you own the company, why not hire another person capable of doing his job before you leave him?
*If you do this, you can have his start date coincide w/in a week of your separation and FIRING of your husband.
*If your husband is your employee, you can fire him. Married or not. ESPECIALLY if you live in an "at will" state
In theory, yes, but reality...no. We have a skilled labor company and a retail store. My husband's rapport with our employees is seriously outstanding and his knowledge/experience is second to none (for his age too). He has just been lazy with his gifts/talent because of all the personal shit we've been dealing with. The stuff he does, it would take someone years to learn, like it has for him. Also, I am not the one here with the business mind, my husband is. I'm not saying I'm incompetent, but in this case, I can't do it without him. And I definitely can't hire his replacement right in front of his eyes. Like, just because the business is in my name doesn't mean I make all the executive decisions.
*Do you have a formal contract written up with your husband? Like, you will work x hours or do such and such duties for the set fee of $X/hr? Any way you could finagle that one? Nope, no contract. We don't do that with any of our employees actually.
Ok. I am going to salt this with how triggered I am about men promising to take care of women when they're their housewife. I did that and my BH mismanaged money and justified extravagant things for himself (in the middle of tax auction and foreclosure notices) because I was such a bitch when I was going through my post-partum. I really was a bitch. Hormones aren't my friend...
LOL about the hormones, sorry to hear! Yikes, sounds like horrible financial mismanagement. I will salt that, because I've always wanted to be a housewife, and he's wanted that for me too but we have both not really made great efforts toward that goal. Now he finally wants to help. To me, it's just kind of like...well, he can read me like a book and I know he has been feeling me pulling away these past few months and this feels like his greatest effort ever to make me "happy." Which then, feels like...um thanks. I feel so special.
So sweet. The narc wants wifey to stay home and be further dependent upon him
That could be what's going on because he can sense I am pulling away. Not sure though because he knows how much trouble "I'm" in. He knows very well what's going on here in the business.
My IC says to trust God and to stop trying to control the outcome. I know that I am for sure trying to control the outcome but I feel it's in my best interest to...
Sighhhhhh so much crap to consider lol!