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Why the hell would we even bring up the possibility of R at this point. JC just got hit by a bomb and his WW doesn't even know why the hell she did what she did in cheating on JC (which still makes her extremely unsafe). JC not only needs to process his WW's affair, but also given the events of the past week, how quickly her family could turn on him.

Also, I (and several others) early in the thread cautioned JC that there were multiple red flags with this story that made it sound like it wasn’t his WW’s "first rodeo"….met man on GNO and started affair that night. That’s sounds like "master class" cheating on many levels (coming from a guy married to a serial cheater) and I still firmly believe either those "girlfriends" are also likely cheaters or at least "cheating cheerleaders". If JC entertains R at ALL, he will not only need the full story of THIS affair, but any potential others. Including what role the girlfriends play in this. If continuing with D, doesn’t really matter.

Also, somewhat "lost in the noise" (though others have pointed it out), is the story of the married husbands turning their backs on JC. The "breakdown on the phone call with the daughter" MAY explain them and the in laws, but not the friends. What have THEY been told?

How quickly everyone turned on JC is still very concerning. D or R is JC’s call but he should definitely proceed with extreme caution and tons of diligence if he even remotely considers R…..

[This message edited by ImaChump at 9:58 PM, Tuesday, April 2nd]

The "breakdown on the phone call with the daughter" MAY explain them and the in laws, but not the friends. What have THEY been told?

Can’t be sure what the friends husbands were told, but pretty sure who told them. If the wives already knew and/or were involved in their own wayward behavior you can bet they were covering their own asses the minute they heard the shit hit the fan at the Crushed household.

And yes to add to what I said in my last post....as Abalone, Ima, and asc said already, there is a lot more WW needs to do before we can say she is remorseful...and there is still a lot JC does not know.

You have had a hectic month…

Within five working days from your d-day you have gotten quite comprehensive legal advice, hired a PI and more-or-less set up your plan. Within 8 working days your PI has a detailed report on OM, and conveniently caught a strange woman probably heading for his love-shack. Within 20 days you found a convenient apartment that was available right away and committed a year’s rent. Within 23 days from d-day you moved into that apartment.
All this while working 60–80-hour weeks, consulting the attorney and seeking IC ad dealing with your wife and the marital issues, as well as researching quite comprehensively the possible outcome for betrayed men in your situation.

On the 26-27 – after moving out and telling your joint attorney to file – you decide to let the daughters know. After all – hiring and attorney, setting off the d process and moving out a week earlier isn’t something that they would have noticed or been told about.

That’s when the in-law family drama (plus joint friends) takes place. Thankfully your soon-to-be ex wife is resourceful so she could fly the girls in and have a full disclosure with her folks so that mix up was cleared in a couple of days.

Friend – Seeing as all this has happened without any guidance from anybody on this site… I’m just wondering what it is you are seeking here…

I am way out in orbit here, but I think you need to jettison this family. At your age, you are a prime candidate for a loving wife and children of your own. I have not read anything on here about anyone that deserves this more than you. To have grown up in foster care and come out the good man that you are says so much about your honor. I hope you do move on and find someone who loves you unconditionally and wants to have children with you and does not play games with your mind. You deserve so much more than you’ve been given so far.

I found a great IC and have had a couple of helpful sessions. Our plan is twice a week for at least a while. I can already see this is going to be a really painful process, but I don’t think there’s any way out of it. I’m just going through the motions right now. 70-80 hour work weeks, the gym and fast food. There’s just a hollow feeling that nothing matters any more. Thanks for listening.

Very glad youve found a good therapist to work with. Its a big step in the right direction. Yes, its all painful. All of it. Stay with it though. Progress may be measured in inches early on, but soon, itll be yards as you continue to invest in yourself. Try to take notes/journal the content of your therapy as much as possible in order to recall the moments of realization and new insights.

You may be going through the motions right now and honestly, its completely understandable. Truth is though, its an accomplishment in and of itself to "go through tbe motions". Small note of caution on the fast food but again, I understand.

Stay the course. Continue with the detaching process.

As to the knee jerk judgement by the girls, well, it speaks volumes imo and your assessment may be spot on. Very sad indeed.

Hang in there. Itll get better with work and time. I can personally attest to this remembering similar days when I was as low as I have ever been in my life.

Solidarity JC.

Bigger - I was wondering how long it would take you
And now I know!

Glimmertwin

Your first post on SI is 9 years after you registered?

Hmm

The thread now has a Usual Suspects ring about it.

Pie, anyone?

Finally...

I've been quiet bc I didn't wanna get in trouble.

All y'all are speaking in some coded language. Not sure what's going on here.

^^^
There’s probably a bridge around here.
Eh, advice still stands.

Are we suggesting he could use more limbo?

Eh, advice still stands.

Exactly