If he really isn't interested and doesn't give a fuck about me why help me out?
Fanny, the fact that you are asking this question at all speaks volumes. Why he helped you out doesn't matter. You aren't interested in the answer. You are only interested in the outcome you want, which is him committing to you. He could say "Because I wanted you out of my face as quickly as possible" and you'd hear "Because I really love you." You don't see that he's an opportunist of the worst kind, because he knows this is killing you, misleading you, and he's doing it anyway. You just see what you want to see.
He has repeatedly in real words told you he is not interested in a real relationship with you. Sure, he'll take the boats and trucks and limitless sex so he's careful to keep that door open just a crack. Why the hell not. What has he got to lose? And lately, unless you just aren't sharing it anymore, he's even stopped the late night booty calls.
From day one of proclaiming you are going no contact, you have come at from a dishonest place. You aren't going no contact to break free of him for your own sanity and self worth. You want to show him what he's missing so he'll come running back. Like clockwork, after a certain number of days go by, when he doesn't react, you engineer a reason to be where he is.
It was as plain as day when you went to meet your friends at a bar to plan your girls night out. Something that could have been done by zoom or whatever. Instead, you picked a bar in his neighborhood, that you knew he'd likely be at, right at a time he's likely be there. You left your friends sitting at a table waiting for you while you went out to his vehicle to make out with him. If I were those friends I'd have left.
The same is true of the ride to the airport. Enough time had elapsed and nothing was happening, so it was time to place yourself in front of him again and ...ooops...kiss and hug time. He must love me. Because that's what you wanted to see. And just like showing up at the bar to plan your fabulous new life in front of his face, you were putting him on record that you were going somewhere, thinking it would matter to him. That's why it was so important that you have him take you. How else could you manufacture a reason to wave it in front of his face. It didn't matter to him anymore than girls night out did.
You came to this site because you were furious that he was on dating sites. This, after you'd put down payments and signed for a boat and a new truck to pull it. Weeks later his dating site profile pictures were of him in front of his new acquisitions at your expense. When he wouldn't commit to you (hell, he wouldn't even call you his girlfriend at that point) you were furious because in your mind you had bought and paid for him. Who can blame you. You'd been had.
That's when you should have walked away. But instead you went though negotiations and threats to take his toys away if he didn't commit to being your boyfriend. To growing old on the porch. He played the game for a time, tossing you little treats, until he could figure out how to get a truck and boat with fewer strings. As soon as that was done he made it clear you were history. You were crushed.
Ever since, you have plotted how you are going to convince him he is making a mistake. That you are his one true love. The problem is, you are the only one who thinks so.
At some point you need to start thinking about what you actually look like, because this "I'm a catch and I deserve better" thing isn't really something you believe, and it isn't what is motivating your no contact attempts. You want to win at all costs. You refuse to hear no. You want the outcome you want. What he wants doesn't matter, because according to you, he just doesn't know what he needs. You do.
I wonder if you even realize that this guy could make a pretty good case for you being a stalker. He may be a con artist and an asshole, but even assholes have a right to say no. You've made vailed threats on these boards that you have the goods on him to put him in jail. Maybe that's why he gave a ride to and from the airport. You seem to think it's a badge of honor you didn't call him first and let him know you were showing up at his work place to ask for a ride. A lot of people look at it and see the opposite. That a woman obsessed with this guy shows up unannounced in his office wanting a ride, when she has many other options. And maybe, just to keep her from doing anything rash he obliges.
And I've been around the block a few times and have lots of friends. None of them, zero, nada, would routinely check dating web sites to see if any of my exes were on them. Nor would I ever ask them to. You aren't kidding anyone here. You're doing the looking, or you have really strange friends. And that is without questions invading the space of someone who has repeatedly told you he has no interest in you. He has every right to be on those sites.
So while many of us, myself included, have been faced with the difficulty of breaking free from manipulative assholes in our lives, and made mistakes and had set backs until we accomplished it, those mistakes were largely the result of being pursued by manipulator. It insults our intelligence when you keep showing up for more, and then act like you're the victim when you don't get the result you want.
When you decide to go no contact because you don't want any contact, you'll be successful at it. As long as you are using it as a tool to "make him miss you", not a chance. At least be honest about it.
