Cookies are required for login or registration. Please read and agree to our cookie policy to continue.

Newest Member: TheFog

Off Topic :
Finishing my degree - need advice

This Topic is Archived
default

 FairyTaleGone (original poster member #79059) posted at 5:42 PM on Monday, December 20th, 2021

So, I was trying to finish my degree when DDay hit. Luckily, it all exploded before I had signed up for my next round of classes. Infidelity has taken too much from me, and i am NOT letting it take away my education, too!

I finished my Associate's degree, and now I am looking at majors. Originally, I was going to do Business Administration or Finance, because that is the industry that I am currently in, and where the majority of my experience is (over 10 years) but I'm not sure. Psychology has ALWAYS interested me...especially now since I've gone through what I have. I'm just not sure if I should go with the degree that I know will give me independent financial security and stick with my current career path, or if I should go out on a limb and explore something that truly interests me.

Any suggestions?

DDay 1 - 2/19/21 (found out about EA)DDay 2 - 5/22/21 (TT found burner phone)DDay 3 - 6/9/21 (TT found out about PA)

EA/PA ended 3/22/21 -WH went NCWorking on R15yr old DD at home - unfortunately knows way too much

posts: 117   ·   registered: Jul. 2nd, 2021
id 8705165
default

tushnurse ( member #21101) posted at 1:08 AM on Tuesday, December 21st, 2021

As a nurse for 30 years that works with social workers on a daily basis I want to caution you and give you a realistic view.

It takes at least a Masters degree to be able to work as a social worker or licensed counselor. And doing so often equates to a pay that is half of what nurses make.

With a degree in nursing we usually graduate with a minority in psych as behaviors and mental health play a huge role in how people recover, manage and care for themselves.

If you are interested in psych then I would encourage you to take a couple of classes and see if it peaks your interest and then speak with a academic advisor about options and degrees that you can feed yourself and support your needs

Me: FBSHim: FWSKids: 23 & 27 Married for 32 years now, was 16 at the time.D-Day Sept 26 2008R'd in about 2 years. Old Vet now.

posts: 20334   ·   registered: Oct. 1st, 2008   ·   location: St. Louis
id 8705232
default

BraveSirRobin ( member #69242) posted at 2:12 AM on Tuesday, December 21st, 2021

Seconding what tushnurse said, alas. I have a friend who was a social worker, and it's the only profession that she actively works to dissuade her children from pursuing because it's so hard to earn back the cost of your degree. You can make more with a doctorate, but again, it's a big investment to get there.

I'd love to be proven wrong but by other arguments, because the field interests me, too.

WW/BW

posts: 3703   ·   registered: Dec. 27th, 2018
id 8705242
default

 FairyTaleGone (original poster member #79059) posted at 2:58 AM on Tuesday, December 21st, 2021

So, I switched majors back when I first started, but not before I took psychology, sociology, and human development. I loved all of those classes and found them so interesting. The "romantic" in me says "follow your heart" but the realistic side of me is saying "hell no". Especially because im investing in me…and although money isn’t everything, it isn’t nothing either.

I’ve made it pretty far without a Bachelor’s degree, I make good money and have a ton of experience in my field. And even though it’s pretty boring, it’s lucrative and I know that if I stick with it, not only will my company pay for it, I will be promoted immediately upon completion.

Thank you for your replies…they were the reality check I think I needed.

DDay 1 - 2/19/21 (found out about EA)DDay 2 - 5/22/21 (TT found burner phone)DDay 3 - 6/9/21 (TT found out about PA)

EA/PA ended 3/22/21 -WH went NCWorking on R15yr old DD at home - unfortunately knows way too much

posts: 117   ·   registered: Jul. 2nd, 2021
id 8705245
default

Superesse ( member #60731) posted at 4:55 AM on Tuesday, December 21st, 2021

As a BW who felt driven to return to college in her mid-50's and took 4 years to complete a B.S. in Psychology by age 59 (top of class, the oldest student they ever graduated) I have to echo what Tushnurse said.

My former career had been in construction engineering and quality control, but I'd decided to leave that project-based work after my marriage. I knew I didn't want to complete a 4 year degree in civil engineering, so as you said, I wanted to "follow my heart" with a new major. I'd always enjoyed psychology as a topic, and the raw insanity of my SAWH's actions ignited my curiousity to dive into that whole human behavior business as deeply as an undergraduate could go. I signed up for almost every psych class offered by my university. Can't claim the coursework yielded any blueprint of what, for example, had gone wrong in my marriage. 😕

Much of the coursework focused on identifying the many difficulties in human behavior and neurobiology, but I noticed there was very damn little emphasis on how to go about solving any of those difficulties - at least at the undergrad level! The 2 most useful courses I had were - believe it or not - statistics and theories of learning/behavior analysis.

These days, there are few jobs that hire a Bachelor-level grad to do adult counseling. (And we students were warned about that in our first major advising sessions.) Initially I'd planned to go to graduate school, even though I knew the cost of such a multi-year commitment would have equated to a home mortgage. But once I'd gotten my Bachelors, a couple of good counseling advisors questioned the cost-benefit ratio for me to pursue a Masters at my age. So I got the impression that the counseling profession is not especially well-paid; also, it seems to have a high burn-out rate, from what I've been told. Perhaps others have heard differently?

Whew, sorry for the heavy treatise. If what you want is a degree for its own sake, a major in Psychology isn't a bad choice, especially with the mathematical skills you get from doing stats...all psychology research papers depend in statistical analysis. Business and psychology seem like a good combo.

posts: 2330   ·   registered: Sep. 22nd, 2017   ·   location: Washington D C area
id 8705254
default

MIgander ( member #71285) posted at 2:13 PM on Tuesday, December 21st, 2021

I agree with TushNurse here- do the practical thing with your degree.

It's a financial and time investment. The $$ can be earned back, but the time cannot. Since you've only got a limited time on earth and need to make the best $$ for your time invested in the degree, do the fiscally responsible option.

As for psych, I've found a great deal of information through reading journals, magazine articles and talking to my IC and psychiatrist about brain chem, FOO, PTSD and therapy options. It's fascinating.

If it's your passion, you'll find your own way to explore it. For me when I was doing natural family planning at the beginning of my marriage and seeing my sister's struggles with ovarian cysts and friends' infertility, I did a lot of reading on OB literature. It's funny- I'm DEFINITELY not an expert, but I find it easier to talk to my OBGYN, and give decent directional advice to friends who are struggling (like, hey, ask your OB about xyz, maybe it's a thing?). It's a passion that's paid off.

Good luck with your degree, and I hope you're able to explore your passion!

WW/BW Dday July 2019. BH/WH- multiple EA's. Denial ain't just a river in Egypt.

posts: 1190   ·   registered: Aug. 15th, 2019   ·   location: Michigan
id 8705285
default

Gottagetthrough ( member #27325) posted at 8:26 PM on Tuesday, December 21st, 2021

Can you double major?

I would talk to a professor about this. Profs love to talk especially about their subject. If you are truly interested in psych a prof could tell you about job options after graduation

I would take several psych courses too, to see if youre still interested. I enjoyed the psychology part of the classes, but the statistics and that sort of stuff I didnt.

posts: 3843   ·   registered: Jan. 22nd, 2010
id 8705341
default

BearlyBreathing ( member #55075) posted at 8:33 PM on Tuesday, December 21st, 2021

My 2 cents: Get the practical degree now. — the money you put away now will fund your retirement and security. You can’t get back that time to let compound interest work its magic on your savings.

Then you can pursue psychology as an interest and possible second career down the road. glamorous? No. But it will set you up for years to come and ensure that you are able afford to pursue your passions— like psychology :-)

Congratulations on working toward your degree and for looking out for yourself! Degrees are certainly not the end-all and be-all, but it does take a huge commitment and a lot of hard work!

Me: BS 57 (49 on d-day)Him: *who cares ;-) *. D-Day 8/15/2016 LTA. Kinda liking my new life :-)

**horrible typist, lots of edits to correct. :-/ **

posts: 6436   ·   registered: Sep. 10th, 2016   ·   location: Northern CA
id 8705344
default

WhatsRight ( member #35417) posted at 4:46 AM on Wednesday, December 29th, 2021

I agree that it might be best to go with what you are familiar with.

But afterwards, couldn’t you take a night course every once in a while in psychology or whatever else floats your boat?

I think there might be other ways to fill that interest gap, rather than taking a chance with something new.

But I am not a risk taker, so...

"Noone can make you feel inferior without your concent." Eleanor Roosevelt

I will not be vanquished. Rose Kennedy

posts: 8261   ·   registered: Apr. 23rd, 2012   ·   location: Southeast USA
id 8706364
default

gmc94 ( member #62810) posted at 5:53 AM on Wednesday, December 29th, 2021

I would look into a double major. When I was in grad school (and >40) I REALLY wanted to double with a MSW - but it would have meant 1 more year of school. Between having school age kids at home and an unsupportive husband, I decided against it. After dday, I was pretty PO’d that I hadn’t gone for it when I had the chance. Doesn’t mean I’d have tried to do clinical work…

So - I agree that the practical degree is #1 - but that doesn’t mean you may not be able to get #2 as well (or have your educational cake & eat it too). There may also be degrees that kind of combine (is it called business or institutional psychology?). One of my kids wanted her undergrad major to be sociology and WH and I convinced her to double in Econ, with the idea that those 2 combined could get her into market research or other business / psych jobs that would support her.

M >25yrs/grown kids
DD1 1994 ONS prostitute
DD2 2018 exGF1 10+yrEA & 10yrPA... + exGF2 EA forever & "made out" 2017
9/18 WH hung himself- died but revived

It's rude to say "I love you" with a mouthful of lies

posts: 3828   ·   registered: Feb. 22nd, 2018
id 8706373
default

Cooley2here ( member #62939) posted at 1:17 PM on Wednesday, December 29th, 2021

A relative worked in IT and watched as one job after another went overseas. He went back to school, got a degree in business, then an MBA. Had a job the day he graduated. He tells every kid in our family to get a business degree if you are undecided. Get a psychology minor.

When things go wrong, don’t go with them. Elvis

posts: 4542   ·   registered: Mar. 5th, 2018   ·   location: US
id 8706388
This Topic is Archived
Cookies on SurvivingInfidelity.com®

SurvivingInfidelity.com® uses cookies to enhance your visit to our website. This is a requirement for participants to login, post and use other features. Visitors may opt out, but the website will be less functional for you.

v.1.001.20250404a 2002-2025 SurvivingInfidelity.com® All Rights Reserved. • Privacy Policy