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Gross alert. I need help...I am losing my mind.

Two cat household...the oldest/first one is GREAT. The second one...ay yi yi. She is 6 yrs old and this is an on-going, on/off problem. She virtually will not use the litterbox to poop. She will hold it before she will poop...until she literally can't. I've seen her poop while she is running because it has "slipped up" on her. She will poop in her bed because it "slips up" on her That can happen anywhere but it seems to mostly happen in MY bed...and even while I'm sleeping in it. It's disgusting. It's frustrating. I've spent many wee hours stripping a bed, sleeping without appropriate bedding, etc. I never know when a "gift" is going to show up. Occasionally, she will use the litterbox.

The bigger issue is the peeing outside the litterbox. It's sporadic. There will be a long stretch of appropriate litterbox use...and then there will be a couple of weeks of randomness. Leather sofas (in two separate rooms), upholstered dining room chairs (even when covered in plastic), a pile of clothes on the floor...and worse, again - my bed. Litterbox is scooped a minimum of 2 times/day

I've tried:
- multiple litterboxes
- litter preferences
- multiple Feliway plug-ins (consistently)
- a LitterRobot (f'ing $500!)
- multiple vet visits
- Scat Mats
- more/less attention
- spanking/scolding - which ironically seems to be the only thing that has any impact but I HATE it.

I'm truly losing my mind and am so desperate that I am literally thinking about looking for a cat whisperer or psychic -which only further makes me feel I am losing my mind. I have a good enzymatic cleaner - swaps one offensive smell for another, and just serves to remind me further that the sofa I am sitting on, the bed I am laying in, has been peed on by a cat. Psychologically, the moment an item is peed on, I just want to move it to the curb. I don't think I have gone "nose-blind"...but who the hell even knows?? It is making my home miserable. And it's definitely affecting how I actually feel about this cat.

Does anybody have ANY further suggestions for me? One of us is going to need xanax if this doesn't get resolved.

The younger of my two cats sometimes has issues as well. I took her to the vet and they determined that her urine was acidic or low pH so I have her on a different cat food which should help with that. apparently This condition space makes it sting when she pees. That seems to have helped quite a lot from her peeing in inappropriate places. She’s also the younger girl in a household with an older boy cat and although I was told they are a bonded pair, I do think there’s a personality mismatch and that’s part of my problem.

Like you I scooped the box at least twice a day and I have three boxes for two cats so that’s not the issue.

That said I do have the name and number of a pet psychic for lack of a better word who apparently is quite good. so not sure if that’s true or not -I can’t quite bring myself to do it either -but I have the name and number if you’d like a connection.

Good luck – I fully understand the challenge you have right now and the frustration

Older cat is also male…and yes, bonded but also think this is just a personality mismatch. It’s a strange thing because just about the time that I think it may be best for ALL of us to rehome the younger female, then I can clearly see they ARE bonded. They rarely ever squabble…but she is just a strange personality. She’s always been what I just called weird. First litter for her mama…and an only. Should have listened to my intuition! She’s sweet - and they always LOVE her at the vet - so it just complicates the at home issues/feelings.

I’ve read that this kind of elimination can be a form of staking claim. And I am most definitely more bonded with my male. It’s suggested that you spend more time, give more affection, to the offender, the more insecure cat. But when I do that it seems to only exasperate the issue (we just cuddled on the couch last night and now there’s pee this morning!). And how the hell do you feel affectionate toward an already weird cat that pees on your bed???

I don't know about the pooping. But I do have experience with peeing. One of mine had kidney failure and she was old and declining. Absentmindedly spraying in weird places, she also couldn't squat so unless she was in a covered box, it went everywhere.
My found male wasn't neutered till we found him at about age 2. Late neuters sometimes are hard to train. He detested the covered box, cannot stand if it's too wet. He was also peeing near the doors to the outside, where we have frequent visitors, raccoons, opossums, feral cats. That set off his prey drive, he needed to establish his territory.
After many, many rounds of feliway, switching to litter that is designed to attract them, nothing worked. So he is on a low dose of prozac, cheap and effective and he is not affected by it personality-wise. It works, except he is now sharing 3 litter boxes with 3 sisters and they get wet quickly. He'll protest by peeing on the rug just outside the boxes.
So, what enzymatic cleaner works for you?

Some cats like when you sit with them when they eat as it makes them feel safer. Putting their head down to eat makes them vulnerable to predators.

My cat is 2 years old and she does not like to eat without someone sitting with her. When she's hungry she will ask me to sit with her. I've found that sometimes she will ask me to sit with her when she eats but then goes to her litter box instead. So I sit with her while she goes potty.

Your cat may be anxious. The fact that she has done it in the bed while you're sleeping in it may be because it's when she feels safe. She's close to you and, even though you are sleeping, she may be thinking that you are her "look out" incase any predators are around.

ETA: Obviously rule out any medical issues by taking her to the vet. But I think you said you did that already.

Try sitting with her while she eats for starters. Be her protection. If you think she has to go potty, see if you can get her to go with you sitting there.

[This message edited by Myname at 4:22 PM, November 10th (Wednesday)]

Lionne - I’ve been using Rocco & Roxie for the cleaner. It seems to work better than Nature’s Miracle. It’s just really strong…it send me into coughing fits and I usually end up having to open windows.

Myname - That’s a really good idea. She is most definitely an anxious cat…and honestly, my male can be an asshole at times. She will go for me when I entice her into the litterbox so that makes a lot of sense. And I’ve also noticed that my male immediately "claims" the litterbox the moment it’s cleaned. That’s one reason multiple litter boxes haven’t worked - he claims all of them.

[This message edited by truthsetmefree at 11:40 PM, Wednesday, November 10th]

That’s a really good idea. She is most definitely an anxious cat…and honestly, my male can be an asshole at times. She will go for me when I entice her into the litterbox so that makes a lot of sense. And I’ve also noticed that my male immediately "claims" the litterbox the moment it’s cleaned.

This is the issue almost definitely. She's scared to go to the bathroom.

She trusts you which is why she will go when you are there. Which is pretty cool if you ask me. Pay attention because she will at some point give you some kind of cue, either verbal or body language, for when she has to go. If you notice it and respond right away she will learn how to "talk" to you.

A longer term solution may be getting her a litter box that only she can get to. With another cat in the house that may be a difficult task but I think if she had her own litter box that she can only access she may use it without you.

Does anybody have ANY further suggestions for me? One of us is going to need xanax if this doesn't get resolved.

My girlfriend literally puts her cat on prozac and it seems to help. I think that you were joking... but maybe not?

I HAVE used an animal psychic twice. With success. It helped me to help my mini poodle.

Good luck with that one, I know the pain! We had a young desexed male cat who at about 1 year of age suddenly started going everywhere but in the litter box for poo, but would use it for wee not a problem. We tried extra large litter boxes, several litter boxes, different litter, different food, covered litter boxes, uncovered litter boxes, almost a box in every room. He was worst at night. We even tried locking him in one room with a fresh litter box and his food and water every night. Some mornings all was well and he’d been in the right place but some mornings there would be shit less than 5 cms from the box and some mornings he would rush out and not long after there would be a fresh poo somewhere in the house. After a year of trying I couldn’t handle the work and frustration anymore and I rehomed him to live in a shed on someone’s property.

So unfortunately while I’m hoping that you find a solution I have to say I was not successful.

My male cat started to do the same thing around the 9th year, I didn't find the solution for years, he had kidney issues so we all thought that was the culprit but still never found a fix. One night stuck on a google hunt I came across a random post about someone else who had this issue and they said it turned out the cat hated the feeling of store bought litter, all the different kinds, and said what fixed it was trying to "hide" the litter under different materials, the successful ones being foam pellets and rice. Also said they had to set up a room where the cat was quarantined, food, bedding and litter was in there to encourage the use of the new litters.

I've tried everything at this point so I set up my kitty hotel room and started trying different litters, was amazed that cotton balls and shredded paper was what worked for him. Paper being the cheaper option so I continued with that, then I moved the litter box out in the house (but well away from other cat's litter box) and sure enough he was more than happy to start using that again.

LostInHisFog is onto something.

My sphynx cat hates litter. But he loves to use the pig litter box which is wood shavings and ripped up newspaper (the newspapers the pig shreds herself, it gives her something to do).

I don't know if the pig minds the cat using her litter box. I do know the cats dont appreciate the pigs trying to use theirs lol (my DD's cat doesnt like it one bit).

I've been having a recent problem with the male of my pride, a something year old neutered male among 3 females. He was peeing on the expensive plastic mat I bought to trap tracked litter.
I bought a bag of a litter box attractant. It was cheapish and you use only a little bit. It seems to be working.
Unless he's peeing elsewhere where I haven't detected it yet.