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WhoTheBleep (original poster member #49504) posted at 7:10 PM on Friday, October 4th, 2019
As I'm sitting here scrolling through SI, reading a lot, and posting a little, I had a realization.
4 years ago today, my STBX went on a 14-hour drinking binge, and took a fistful of prescription pills, and came home essentially psychotic. He terrorized me for 45 minutes, and I thought he was going to kill me. I jumped out my daughter's bedroom window at 2:30 in the morning and ran barefoot in my pajamas down to the main road and called 911 on my cell phone which I had hidden in a pillowcase without him knowing.
This morning, I spent my first day volunteering at a local charity which benefits victims of domestic violence. It was my first step in taking what I've learned and paying that knowledge forward. I hope and plan to one day work directly with victims. Today was the first step.
I hadn't even realized what day it was until just now.
Sometimes God and the universe just know... And make sure you are exactly where you need to be.
I just wanted to share. We are all on the right path, even in those rabbit hole times (and I've had many) and are going to be OK.
[This message edited by WhoTheBleep at 1:12 PM, October 4th (Friday)]
I believe we have two lives: the one we learn with, and the one we live with after that. --The Natural
MamaDragon ( member #63791) posted at 7:20 PM on Friday, October 4th, 2019
glad this day was way better than the other one.
Sometimes the rabbit hole is actually a great wonderland :)
BS - 40 something at A time, over 50 now
WS - him, younger than me
Reconciled
JanaGreen ( member #29341) posted at 8:24 PM on Friday, October 4th, 2019
I sometimes think about how the value in these awful experiences is that it gives us empathy and experience to help others. It's great that you are passing that along. I'm sorry you had to go through it, though.
Chaos ( member #61031) posted at 8:28 PM on Friday, October 4th, 2019
This is one bad ass post.
BS-me/WH-4.5yrLTA Married 2+ decades-2 adult children. Multiple DDays w/same LAP until I told OBS 2018- Cease & Desist sent spring 2021 "Hello–My name is Chaos–You f***ed my husband-Prepare to Die!"
DevastatedDee ( member #59873) posted at 9:03 PM on Friday, October 4th, 2019
Seriously, it is one bad ass post. This is how you turn your life around and do it better. THIS is how you make lemonade, Beyonce. Hear me?
DDay: 06/07/2017
MH - RA on DDay.
Divorced a serial cheater (prostitutes and lord only knows who and what else).
Want2BHappyAgain ( member #45088) posted at 11:17 PM on Friday, October 4th, 2019
I totally AGREE!!! Thank you for sharing... and I am so HAPPY you are in a better place today 
.
A "perfect marriage" is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other.
With God ALL things are possible (Matthew 19:26)
I AM happy again...It CAN happen!!!
From respect comes great love...sassylee
CaliforniaNative ( member #60149) posted at 11:58 PM on Friday, October 4th, 2019
Awesome work. Thank you for your community service and helping those in need.
Chili ( member #35503) posted at 12:04 AM on Saturday, October 5th, 2019
If it is an accident - it's one of a happy variety. Or perhaps the fortuitous sort.
I also can't help thinking this is the first of many such moments aligning for you Bleep. When you lead a genuine and beautiful life such as yours, things have a sneaky way of coming together and showing you the proof in the puddin'.
What a wonderful morning. What a wonderful moment of validation of your strength and character. Keep on kicking dirt down those rabbit holes!
2012 pretty much sucked.
Things no longer suck.
Took off flying solo with the co-pilot chili dog.
"Life teaches you how to live it if you live long enough" - Tony Bennett
staystrong101 ( member #41068) posted at 3:36 AM on Saturday, October 5th, 2019
Shehawk ( member #68741) posted at 5:51 AM on Saturday, October 5th, 2019
"It's a slow fade...when you give yourself away" so don't do it!
BrokenheartedUK ( member #43520) posted at 2:02 PM on Saturday, October 5th, 2019
And this is EXACTLY the kind of karma that I honestly believe the Universe delivers. You rock!! High five!! You are a survivor. That is everything.
Me: BS
He cheated and then lied. Apparently cheaters lie. Huh. 13 months of false R. Divorced! 8/16 3 teenage kids
"The barn's burnt down
Now
I can see the moon"
-Mizuta Masahide
steadychevy ( member #42608) posted at 2:20 PM on Saturday, October 5th, 2019
That's powerful, Who. Taking your tragedy and turning it into something positive. That it happened on the anniversary of that terrible day - well, a message to you maybe about how far you've come. I don't think those things are accidents.
BH(me)72(now); XWW 64; M 42 yrsDDay1-01/09/13;DDay2-26/10/13;DDay3-19/12/13;DDay4-21/01/14LTA-09/02-06/06? OM - COW 4 years; "dates" w/3 lovers post engagement;ONS w/stranger post commitment, lies, lies, liesSeparated 23/09/2017; D 16/03/2020
EllieKMAS ( member #68900) posted at 10:31 PM on Monday, October 7th, 2019
Don't you just love when the universe gives you a nudge like that? 
Thanks Bleep - this was really cool to read!
"No, it's you mothafucka, here's a list of reasons why." – Iliza Schlesinger
"The love that you lost isn't worth what it cost and in time you'll be glad that it's gone." – Linkin Park
demolishedinside ( member #47839) posted at 12:08 AM on Tuesday, October 8th, 2019
Wow, Bleep. So happy you are out of your situation and are sharing your experiences with others. So many will benefit from your volunteering. Hugs to you.
BS - me/3 kids
DD - April 2015 / SA-Jan. 28, 2017
DD2- October 23, 2018
Divorced and happy
SallyShrink81 ( member #50219) posted at 3:12 PM on Tuesday, October 8th, 2019
Congrats WTB!!! So happy that the universe put that treat out there for you!
FBS now surviving and thriving
2 kiddos born 2011 & 2014
"If a woman steals your husband, she might as well steal your shoes too, because one day she'll be walking in them." #karma
Charity411 ( member #41033) posted at 10:24 PM on Thursday, October 10th, 2019
That is just fantastic. You are fantastic!
Mamabear1 ( new member #69040) posted at 4:11 PM on Friday, October 11th, 2019
This is absolutely amazing. You make it sound like it was easy. But I know first hand that leaving an abusive relationship even as terrible as it can be is no easy feat. When you are used to being treated a certain way, it is super hard to change even if that sounds crazy to others. You go girl!
WhoTheBleep (original poster member #49504) posted at 5:49 PM on Friday, October 11th, 2019
Thanks so much, everyone. Today, instead of volunteering again, I spent the entire morning (while kids are in school) reading and categorizing about 250 emails. Most from wh the last few months. Next, I need to print out up all recent emails in the "verbal abuse" folder and the "fluff and lies" folder. I reached out to my attorney yesterday to tell her I am done with WH's accusations and passive aggressive communication. I want to be left alone. I want the judge to know who he is. So we are pursuing it. In what regard, I'm not sure. I honestly just want him to behave. We have three kids, the youngest is four. It's going to be a long 14 years if I don't nip this in the bud now.
I also want to send a message to WH that from here forward, there will be consequences if he doesn't walk a straight line with me.
I'm not the emotional punching bag I was during our marriage. I'm me, again. Don't fuck with me.
I believe we have two lives: the one we learn with, and the one we live with after that. --The Natural
The1stWife ( Guide #58832) posted at 3:14 PM on Thursday, October 17th, 2019
Thank you for giving back.
And the CH needs to see you fir who you are now - not who you were then. Get rid of him. It will be a happier 14 years without his drama.
Survived two affairs and brink of Divorce. Happily reconciled. 12 years out from Dday. Reconciliation takes two committed people to be successful.
Hopeful Lady ( member #30441) posted at 3:59 PM on Thursday, October 17th, 2019
What you went through sounds hellish. It’s great that you’ve made personal progress.Good job, for giving back. Wishing you lots of strength and peace as you continue through the legal stuff.
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