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StillLivin (original poster member #40229) posted at 7:17 PM on Wednesday, May 20th, 2020
Awesome series so far. I love how it takes an honest look at affairs and the destruction it causes. It also highlights the moving forward and healing path. I wouldn't suggest it to someone fresh and still on the rollercoaster ride of Dday. But it is refreshing for a tv show to not glamorize adultery for a change. It also shows a very realistic portrayal of the entitlement and selfishness of both the cheater and the AP.
"Bitch please a good man can't be stolen." ROFLMAO - SBB: 7/2/2014
Want2BHappyAgain ( member #45088) posted at 7:23 PM on Wednesday, May 20th, 2020
This sounds pretty interesting...thanks for sharing
.
With all of the magnolia trees in full bloom where I am...I was expecting a somewhat different post
!!!
A "perfect marriage" is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other.
With God ALL things are possible (Matthew 19:26)
I AM happy again...It CAN happen!!!
From respect comes great love...sassylee
Throwaway999 ( member #72413) posted at 7:26 PM on Wednesday, May 20th, 2020
I was thinking about watching it...thanks for the heads up.
Me - BS Him -WS DDay1 - 2011 EA with AP1DDay2/3 - found out in 2019 about EA/PA same AP1 -4 yr LTA affair ended 2017DDay4 - found out about LTA with ex-wife
crazyblindsided ( member #35215) posted at 7:46 PM on Wednesday, May 20th, 2020
Sounds very interesting. It may be an infidelity story I can actually watch
fBS/fWS(me):52 Mad-hattered after DD (2008)
XWS:55 Serial Cheater, Diagnosed NPD
DD(22) DS(19)
XWS cheated the entire M spanning 19 years
Discovered D-Days 2006,2008,2012, False R 2014
Separated 9/2019; Divorced 8/2024
childofcheater ( member #33887) posted at 9:10 PM on Wednesday, May 20th, 2020
I read this series of books years ago and long before I was a BS. I thought the books handled it well. I didn't realize it had been made into a series. I'll have to check it out. I hope they make all three books because Dana and her ex's story is great too. (Or was...I wonder if I would still think so).
Me: 42 yo, him 41Married 19 years together 233 kids: DD15, DD12, DS9DDay 2/9/12 found suspicious text to coworkerStatus: in R, work in progress
StillLivin (original poster member #40229) posted at 4:59 PM on Friday, May 22nd, 2020
Childofcheater, would you mind pm'ing me what happened after the car accident. Damn show left me on a cliffhanger. Lol.
OMG did the WS do soooo many things typical of the cheaters' handbook. I just know the author had to have lived through infidelity too.
It got better and better. And it inspired me to drink more margaritas. I wish I'd had more friend who lived close by like that.
"Bitch please a good man can't be stolen." ROFLMAO - SBB: 7/2/2014
LadyG ( member #74337) posted at 1:56 PM on Saturday, May 23rd, 2020
I may have to find d this and make STBX WH watch it with me.
He’s skirmish when any TV Show we watch, show adultery.
As he doesn’t read about the devastation it causes, maybe he may find it easier to Watch.
September 26 1987 I married a monster. Slowly healing from Complex PTSD. I Need Peace. Fiat Lux. Buddha’s Love Saves Me 🙏🏼
Hedwig ( member #74175) posted at 2:42 PM on Saturday, May 23rd, 2020
I was actually looking for a subforum to post something about this tv show and couldn't make up my mind where it would fit best so I just left it.
I really really like the show and the way betrayal is portraited. It might sound petty and bitter but I enjoyed watching AP suffer and being treated the same way by WS as he did his EXBS. It goes to show that most cheaters don't change their selfish ways for the benefit of their AP, once the whole affair is blown wide open.
I loved Coach, made my heart skip a beat a couple of times, lol. All the time while watching I was looking out for red flags, haha!
ETA: StillLivin, I totally get you on the margarita and wanting to have close friends live close by. Would love to pour it out once a week with them!
[This message edited by Hedwig at 8:44 AM, May 23rd (Saturday)]
Dday - 10/2018
Caught them, EMDR helped
Ended the relationship after false R for 1,5 years
StillLivin (original poster member #40229) posted at 3:39 PM on Saturday, May 23rd, 2020
Yes, I had to think about where to post it because it's got a hefty chunk about adultery. But the main theme really is about moving forward and getting past what someone else does to you. It's really an inspiring series. The only place where it seemed ok was here in general.
I'm passed the phase of wanting the AP to be punished in my own life, so I didn't get happy, but I did feel her treatment was justified because of her own actions. I like how at the end she finally gets it that she was had. I also like how the series shows over time just how entitled and clueless both are about their actions. They don't seem to perceive why everyone isn't just happy for them.
LadyG, if you make him watch, he'll get a heavy dose of reality. There were some minor things that happened that I didn't think matched about what goes on in adultery, but most of it was spot on.
[This message edited by StillLivin at 9:40 AM, May 23rd (Saturday)]
"Bitch please a good man can't be stolen." ROFLMAO - SBB: 7/2/2014
Hedwig ( member #74175) posted at 7:44 AM on Monday, May 25th, 2020
Edit: duplicate
[This message edited by Hedwig at 1:31 AM, May 26th (Tuesday)]
Dday - 10/2018
Caught them, EMDR helped
Ended the relationship after false R for 1,5 years
Hedwig ( member #74175) posted at 7:44 AM on Monday, May 25th, 2020
I am not past that phase yet, unfortunately. A lot of surpressed feelings are resurfacing now that I gave up on R 6 weeks ago and the relationship is over.
Yup, the cluelessness both of AP's behaviour at the games and of WS coming to pick up old things etc. I don't want to spoil too much for people who haven't seen it yet.
Dday - 10/2018
Caught them, EMDR helped
Ended the relationship after false R for 1,5 years
WhoTheBleep ( member #49504) posted at 11:33 AM on Monday, May 25th, 2020
Because of this thread, I started watching a couple of days ago. I'm a few episodes in and I'm really enjoying it. The show doesn't really apologize for or soften the squeamish uncomfortable feelings that are felt by all involved. They just throw it on out there, in all its ugliness.
The setting in that picturesque town and the friendship between the women is a great draw. Without a doubt, my girlfriends and my childhood immediate family have gotten me through the last few years.
[This message edited by WhoTheBleep at 5:34 AM, May 25th (Monday)]
I believe we have two lives: the one we learn with, and the one we live with after that. --The Natural
Throwaway999 ( member #72413) posted at 11:41 AM on Monday, May 25th, 2020
I watched it also...and loved it. It dealt with the “mess” of infidelity quite well. The only part that was triggering for me was that I felt they tried to make the AP, Noreen, as bit sympathetic. Bill was treating her poorly, no friends, kids didn’t like her....you almost felt sorry for her. Not. They glossed over a bit the fact she participated in the destruction of a marriage and family...and she couldn’t figure out why everything was not sunshine and unicorns.
Anyway...I bought a couple of the books. I wish I could meet some of you and “pour it out”....you are all such great supporters. Thanks for all of you!
Me - BS Him -WS DDay1 - 2011 EA with AP1DDay2/3 - found out in 2019 about EA/PA same AP1 -4 yr LTA affair ended 2017DDay4 - found out about LTA with ex-wife
Chrysalis123 ( member #27148) posted at 4:00 PM on Monday, May 25th, 2020
Thanks to this thread, I started watch it too. I'm really enjoying it.
Someone I once loved gave me/ a box full of darkness/ It took me years to understand/ That this, too, was a gift. - Mary Oliver
Just for the record darling, not all positive changes feel positive in the beginning -S C Lourie
GTeamReboot ( member #72633) posted at 7:10 AM on Tuesday, May 26th, 2020
Oh thanks for the warning... I was thinking about starting it, but not sure I'm ready. I can see from the trailer that maybe the A is just part of the foundation of the plot, and most of it is about moving on. But I would want to be feeling ready for that. And WS gets really triggered by A storylines (he has gone from getting huffy about the fact we "can't get away from it" and shutting it off, to calmly acknowledging and apologizing to me, so that's good...). So definitely NOT a new couch date series!
Me- BW, 45 (FWH, 47); DDay Oct 2019 - Double Betrayal (x2) during Aug-Sept 2018. Hard at work in R! Whole story in Bio
I tend to make little edits for clarity and typos!
Hedwig ( member #74175) posted at 7:38 AM on Tuesday, May 26th, 2020
@Throwaway999: agreed! I found myself in 1 or 2 instances starting to feel sorry for her, then had to remember myself who she is and why I should NOT feel sorry for her. I think the portrayal of the AP was not done very well, they should've thrown more selfishness or bitchiness in there to make it real. Wish I could pour it out with you too!
@GTeamReboot: I hate navigating this, which tv-shows and movies to watch. I can handle having an A in a show, as long as it's not one of the protagonists or somebody I should relate to. Unfortunately there's a lot of them. Ozark had a rugswept one, but the show was otherwise amazing.
Dday - 10/2018
Caught them, EMDR helped
Ended the relationship after false R for 1,5 years
Throwaway999 ( member #72413) posted at 10:16 AM on Tuesday, May 26th, 2020
Hedwig- I started the book, interesting to know that in the book Cal’s ex-wife also had an affair with his friend. So he gets Maddie’s situation lot more. And he’s 10 years younger than her...good for her!
Me - BS Him -WS DDay1 - 2011 EA with AP1DDay2/3 - found out in 2019 about EA/PA same AP1 -4 yr LTA affair ended 2017DDay4 - found out about LTA with ex-wife
Hedwig ( member #74175) posted at 5:43 PM on Tuesday, May 26th, 2020
Throwaway999, that sounds good! Now I might go and buy the book, even if I already have 6 unread books at home.
Dday - 10/2018
Caught them, EMDR helped
Ended the relationship after false R for 1,5 years
StillLivin (original poster member #40229) posted at 3:15 AM on Wednesday, May 27th, 2020
You convinced me. I'll be buying the books as soon as the summer semester ends.
"Bitch please a good man can't be stolen." ROFLMAO - SBB: 7/2/2014
Charlee ( member #50386) posted at 10:53 AM on Wednesday, May 27th, 2020
You could pour it out over a Zoom session!
ME: BS, 67
HIM:62
MARRIED: 45 years
DDay: #1 9/19/15
Dday #2 2/28/18
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