I'm literally TRYING to cry and I'm so fucking sad and feeling hurt right now. I can't even get one tear out.
I get to this point a lot. I think it's because I am so damn angry, it's not about my sadness. I'm so pissed off.
I'm ready to just quit my job at the moment.
I thought about quitting my job, too. I decided, though, that if I decided to divorce at some point, I couldn't be a SAHM, I needed a means for finances.
I'm almost ready to just drop everything and escape from the real world.
I've been researching healing camps. Not those you go to for addiction, but more spiritual healing. They have weekend ones. Going to leave the little ones at home with WH and go ALONE.
Responsibilities, maturity & anything having to do with being, "an adult."
Honestly, I put most of my "adulting" responsibilities onto my WH. I really did just drop everything into his lap. I just COULD NOT function and still barely function. Work is even very hard. I got FMLA for my depression...
I'm ready to do things I know I'll regret later if there IS a later.
Like what? Would love to hear ideas. Even though it may be something you would think you might regret, you might not actually!
How could she be "sorry" while she doesn't even know all there is that she has to be sorry for?
I don't know. I have followed your most recent story a little, and it's hard to believe...I don't mean to throw fuel on the fire, but it is odd...
How can she claim that she understands what I'm going through when she tells me to just focus on trying to work?
She can't. No wayward can. She needs to admit to you that there is no way she can ever understand the pain you are going through.
How the fuck can I gain the confidence necessary to be able to be productive while shit is still coming out?
I manage three sites and over 75 people. It's been extremely hard and in the early days, I could barely get to work. My job has suffered greatly. Just now getting back to it, but it's minimal, not like I used to be. Everything takes so much energy and effort now.
How can I feel COMFORTABLE with taking a step back in obtaining the details when I know that doing so just makes the flow of details take longer, thus giving me more unknowns & mind-movies to worry myself into a deeper darkness - all while she's able to get in with her day.
If you mean that she hasn't been completely truthful with you yet, she is still behaving like a coward. You deserve to know everything. What WH and I did was have about a 5 hour conversation one night and went through EVERYTHING, he answered every single question. We wanted it all out. THEN, our MC made him write more out. I felt like there must be more that I didn't know because it went on for so long and I couldn't have possibly covered everything in one night. He spent a whole day and wracked his brain for every little excruciating detail and then we went through that. Not too much more, but there were some biggies--like she offered her mom to look at our taxes!!
OR, how about the fact that she was showing off OUR house to coworkers in their workplace, from Google maps!!
I'm not doing well overall.
I'm so, so sorry. I am praying for you.
I hate this "life."
Me, too. We didn't deserve it.
I hate myself.
Don't ever hate yourself. You didn't do this, you didn't deserve this. If anyone should hate themselves, it's all of the waywards. What shitty behavior to another human being. They should be downright ashamed with themselves. In order to redeem themselves, they should pull up their big girl/boy britches and brace themselves. They can fix it, but they can't let this be about them anymore.
Guess I should've put the word SEX into the title so people actually read this.
I get what you saying, it can feel like that around here sometimes...
(((SaddestDad)))I realize there wasn't much for advice or suggestions, but you have been heard and you are definitely not alone.
[This message edited by onthefence123 at 1:47 PM, June 3rd (Monday)]