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Jondoe (original poster new member #66316) posted at 11:57 PM on Thursday, May 9th, 2019
Well it’s happened again. Walked in on my stbew and another man again this morning.
Butforthegrace ( member #63264) posted at 12:00 AM on Friday, May 10th, 2019
Will you finally stop twisting yourself into pretzels trying to find pretextual reasons not to leave her?
"The wicked man flees when no one chases."
Jondoe (original poster new member #66316) posted at 12:03 AM on Friday, May 10th, 2019
Yes. This is the nail that seals the coffin
HellFire ( member #59305) posted at 2:44 AM on Friday, May 10th, 2019
Was this the OM from before?
I'm so sorry.
But you are what you did
And I'll forget you, but I'll never forgive
The smallest man who ever lived..
Jondoe (original poster new member #66316) posted at 3:58 AM on Friday, May 10th, 2019
Amilliondreams ( member #69387) posted at 4:01 AM on Friday, May 10th, 2019
I cant express how sorry i am for you. Comfort yourself that you did everything you could to stay in this. Its not to be but you can have no regrets for how it was handled.
Jondoe (original poster new member #66316) posted at 5:50 AM on Friday, May 10th, 2019
Last time was while my father was on his death bed and died a week later. This time is a week and a half before my youngest son gets married. FML. I know there’s never a good time but for fuck sakes. Are you kidding me.
HoneyMe2 ( member #59320) posted at 6:49 AM on Friday, May 10th, 2019
HoneyMe but lost my password
cannotforgive ( member #43367) posted at 7:25 AM on Friday, May 10th, 2019
I am really sorry Jondoe. 
Chaos ( member #61031) posted at 5:56 PM on Friday, May 10th, 2019
BS-me/WH-4.5yrLTA Married 2+ decades-2 adult children. Multiple DDays w/same LAP until I told OBS 2018- Cease & Desist sent spring 2021 "Hello–My name is Chaos–You f***ed my husband-Prepare to Die!"
Gettingoveritall ( member #46722) posted at 5:57 PM on Friday, May 10th, 2019
Sorry to hear this, brother.
You know what you have to do.
Strength.
Curious9 ( member #48433) posted at 6:08 PM on Friday, May 10th, 2019
I am so sorry. I really hope you get away from her. I cant imagine the pain you are going through.
Clay
crazyblindsided ( member #35215) posted at 6:14 PM on Friday, May 10th, 2019
I'm so sorry (((Jondoe))) 
fBS/fWS(me):52 Mad-hattered after DD (2008)
XWS:55 Serial Cheater, Diagnosed NPD
DD(22) DS(19)
XWS cheated the entire M spanning 19 years
Discovered D-Days 2006,2008,2012, False R 2014
Divorced 8/2024
Shockedmom ( member #44708) posted at 6:20 PM on Friday, May 10th, 2019
I’m so sorry JonDoe. Is she doing this in your marital home? Please have her access to your home terminated so she can’t hurt you like this again.
HellFire ( member #59305) posted at 6:24 PM on Friday, May 10th, 2019
This explains why she was constantly asking if she should give up on the marriage. She wasnt invested. She wanted you to end it,so she wouldn't be the bad guy. Except, she is. She is the bad guy.
[This message edited by HellFire at 12:24 PM, May 10th (Friday)]
But you are what you did
And I'll forget you, but I'll never forgive
The smallest man who ever lived..
Lalagirl ( member #14576) posted at 6:26 PM on Friday, May 10th, 2019
I'm so sorry.
2025: Me-59 FWH-61 Married 41 years grown daughters- 41 & 37. 1 GS,11yo GD & 9yo GD (DD40); Five grands ages 15 to 8. D-day #1-1/06; D-day #2-3/07 Reconciled! Construction Complete. Astra inclinant, sed non obligant
Jondoe (original poster new member #66316) posted at 6:34 PM on Friday, May 10th, 2019
Thanks everyone. The pain is so deep. The anger isn’t quite as bad yet but the pain is horrendous. I gave her my life
Marz ( member #60895) posted at 6:34 PM on Friday, May 10th, 2019
Sorry but it's time to cut your losses.
If not you'll just set yourself up for more of this.
[This message edited by Marz at 6:16 PM, May 12th (Sunday)]
ibonnie ( member #62673) posted at 7:01 PM on Friday, May 10th, 2019
With all due respect, even though you've been together a very long time, it seems like the relationship has always been toxic with either cheating or suspected cheating on both sides. Neither of you seemed to be willing to end your relationship, but at the same time, instead of working on yourselves and owning your own behaviors, you both lied/denied/minimized, blamed each other and/or compared whose behavior or pain was worse.
Although you're in a tremendous amount of pain right now, perhaps this is the best, for both of you. I hope that you will seek IC and work on yourself, so that if/when you decide to pursue another relationship, you'll be a safe partner and won't cheat on them.
I wish the same for Gravycake, as well, as it seemed like she was content with blaming her cheating on the fact that you cheated first (and arguably multiple times, as I'm sure many BSs would consider your online line-crossing flirtations with multiple women cheating in addition to the PA you had with her employee), and not acknowledging that she always had the option to leave your relationship, rather than join you and become a cheater.
Good luck to you. I'm sure it's going to take a monumental amount of effort to put on a happy face to make it through the next week and a half until your son gets married. Can you meet with a doctor or psychiatrist before then, and maybe get some sleeping pills or anti-anxiety medications to help you to push through 'til the wedding?
[This message edited by ibonnie at 1:03 PM, May 10th (Friday)]
"I will survive, hey, hey!"
GoldenR ( member #54778) posted at 7:03 PM on Friday, May 10th, 2019
Damn...I hate hearing that.
What was her reaction?
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