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Again

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Jondoe posted 5/9/2019 17:57 PM

Well itís happened again. Walked in on my stbew and another man again this morning.

Butforthegrace posted 5/9/2019 18:00 PM

Will you finally stop twisting yourself into pretzels trying to find pretextual reasons not to leave her?

Jondoe posted 5/9/2019 18:03 PM

Yes. This is the nail that seals the coffin

HellFire posted 5/9/2019 20:44 PM

Was this the OM from before?

I'm so sorry.

Jondoe posted 5/9/2019 21:58 PM

No itís a new one.

Amilliondreams posted 5/9/2019 22:01 PM

I cant express how sorry i am for you. Comfort yourself that you did everything you could to stay in this. Its not to be but you can have no regrets for how it was handled.

Jondoe posted 5/9/2019 23:50 PM

Last time was while my father was on his death bed and died a week later. This time is a week and a half before my youngest son gets married. FML. I know thereís never a good time but for fuck sakes. Are you kidding me.

HoneyMe2 posted 5/10/2019 00:49 AM

I am so sorry Jondoe.

cannotforgive posted 5/10/2019 01:25 AM

I am really sorry Jondoe.

Chaos posted 5/10/2019 11:56 AM

Damn. I'm so very sorry.

Gettingoveritall posted 5/10/2019 11:57 AM

Sorry to hear this, brother.

You know what you have to do.

Strength.

Curious9 posted 5/10/2019 12:08 PM

I am so sorry. I really hope you get away from her. I cant imagine the pain you are going through.

Clay

crazyblindsided posted 5/10/2019 12:14 PM

I'm so sorry (((Jondoe)))

Shockedmom posted 5/10/2019 12:20 PM

Iím so sorry JonDoe. Is she doing this in your marital home? Please have her access to your home terminated so she canít hurt you like this again.

HellFire posted 5/10/2019 12:24 PM

This explains why she was constantly asking if she should give up on the marriage. She wasnt invested. She wanted you to end it,so she wouldn't be the bad guy. Except, she is. She is the bad guy.

[This message edited by HellFire at 12:24 PM, May 10th (Friday)]

Lalagirl posted 5/10/2019 12:26 PM

I'm so sorry.

Jondoe posted 5/10/2019 12:34 PM

Thanks everyone. The pain is so deep. The anger isnít quite as bad yet but the pain is horrendous. I gave her my life

Marz posted 5/10/2019 12:34 PM

Sorry but it's time to cut your losses.

If not you'll just set yourself up for more of this.

[This message edited by Marz at 6:16 PM, May 12th (Sunday)]

ibonnie posted 5/10/2019 13:01 PM

With all due respect, even though you've been together a very long time, it seems like the relationship has always been toxic with either cheating or suspected cheating on both sides. Neither of you seemed to be willing to end your relationship, but at the same time, instead of working on yourselves and owning your own behaviors, you both lied/denied/minimized, blamed each other and/or compared whose behavior or pain was worse.

Although you're in a tremendous amount of pain right now, perhaps this is the best, for both of you. I hope that you will seek IC and work on yourself, so that if/when you decide to pursue another relationship, you'll be a safe partner and won't cheat on them.

I wish the same for Gravycake, as well, as it seemed like she was content with blaming her cheating on the fact that you cheated first (and arguably multiple times, as I'm sure many BSs would consider your online line-crossing flirtations with multiple women cheating in addition to the PA you had with her employee), and not acknowledging that she always had the option to leave your relationship, rather than join you and become a cheater.

Good luck to you. I'm sure it's going to take a monumental amount of effort to put on a happy face to make it through the next week and a half until your son gets married. Can you meet with a doctor or psychiatrist before then, and maybe get some sleeping pills or anti-anxiety medications to help you to push through 'til the wedding?

[This message edited by ibonnie at 1:03 PM, May 10th (Friday)]

GoldenR posted 5/10/2019 13:03 PM

Damn...I hate hearing that.

What was her reaction?

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