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Why am I still here?

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nekonamida posted 5/9/2019 14:58 PM

I believe that the only reason my WS never cheated on anyone else - well as far as I know at the moment of course - was because he never managed a relationship that lasted long enough.

This could be the case.

IME, there's two kinds of people in LTRs. People who eventually get bored, think it's their partner, and go looking for something new and people who crave stability and love their partner more as time goes on. He's clearly the former and unfortunately, he isn't accepting the A as a wake up call to choose you and value what he has. Even now he knows you're about to throw in the towel and instead of scrambling to fix this, he's focusing on himself and his hobbies. He's completely checked out and it sounds like he probably won't even put up much of a fight if you leave. He isn't already.

Focus on yourself. You deserve better than this. Get to a place where you're ready to demand his respect and attention or free yourself to find someone who will give it to you.

rosie1 posted 5/11/2019 01:57 AM


To be fair to him it was me that insisted that he did watch the football. It was just the way that he sounded so carefree when his team scored the winning goal that upset me.

He says that he is trying hard to 'get it's and really understand and he has now joined this site so hopefully the insight of other WS will help.

I agree with your point about different attitudes to LTR and I think this was just one of many ways that he saw the world through the eyes of a child. I have heard people say that often it comes down to if the BS can wait long enough for the WS to grow up. In one case I read about the MC estimated 5 years - that's a long time to carry someone emotionally. In that case the BS walked.

Soistayed posted 5/14/2019 09:44 AM

I chose to stay too.. but I experience a range of emotions on my choice. Sometimes I wonder if I will ever feel happy again like I did before. Mostly I feel Resentment and unfairness that for some reason I have to now bear the burden. I often feel like because Iím still with him he just Ďgets away with ití ( his betrayal) . I resent that he has to apologise to me .. I fantasise that one day I will be the one saying Iím sorry I hurt you for once. I feel weak for staying too. But then other times I feel comfort and love and friendship. Itís all very confusing.

rosie1 posted 5/17/2019 12:52 PM

Hi Soistayed

I'm thinking more and more that I am still here due to it being easier than moving on.

He is trying to put things right but stealing a quote from Tarrantino 'that's gotta be one charming motherfxxxxxxx pig' to make up for what he has done. Not sure there is a man on the planet with enough charm to make up for the lies and betrayal .....

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