SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

I came to my mom’s house today to find that neighbors a street over had dumped their refuge in a rented dumpster that was very clearly on her property and for personal use. (Unfortunately for them, they had identifying information on some of the items.)

I am livid to my very core. I would NEVER do this and am having trouble putting this in a perspective that allows for just simple ignorance. (Is leaving the identifying info a sign of that - or just an oversight??). I have left info for that neighbor with instructions that they need to remove the items (which are rather large/voluminous). I’ve been here almost daily (plenty of opportunities to ask permission) - except for yesterday which is when it was done.

Do others see this as obviously egregious - or am I making a mountain out of a molehill (because it does have an especially painful sting since it is related to cleaning out my recently deceased mother’s home. They get to benefit from that??). I’m entertaining the option of just filing a police report and letting them handle the matter - but I’m also really angry.

Thoughts?

That would completely piss me off too. Some people are just too entitled.

Make them get their shit out of there. It will take the wind out of their sails if you say it very civilly - 'Hello, sorry to bother you but it seems that you didn't realize that you have disposed of your items in my privately rented dumpster. I'd like for you to remove them so that I can use it for my own purposes. Or, perhaps you would like to pay for it?'

hahahaaaaaa

Some people are just too entitled.

This is exactly the feeling I have. Short of the shipping label on one of the boxes they would have completely gotten away with this. And it seems unjust that the only consequence they are going to have (short of a police report) is simply coming and getting the stuff that shouldn’t be there to begin with. Oops...must be more careful next time.

I just can’t accept that someone wouldn’t know this is wrong. And given many of our histories, I’m personally finding the excuses (if they even try that) very hard to swallow. If it was just ignorance then I’d be stumbling over myself to make it right as quickly as possible.

Give them some consequences for their arrogance and this is what it is. Arrogance.

Call the police. File a report. Take photos of their stuff in your dumpster. I wouldn't even bother with telling them to get their shit out. I'd let the cops do it.

Hello I'd have the dumpster company come dump the entire thing on their lawn just to spite them lol. But I'm in a bit of a grump so take it for what it's worth.

I’m coming to love grump mood, Dragn.

Get off my lawn. .

Honestly, it's stealing. The neighbors are using something that is not theirs.

sorry for the thread jack... and my general laziness for not requesting permission to post a link... but everyone should now listen to "Alice's Restaurant" by Arlo Guthrie.

I’m coming to love grump mood, Dragn.

Get off my lawn. .

I'm sorry for the grump. There's a couple reasons but one that's sorta relevant is that Wh went to check the north gate to see if we could use it to bring in the bales of hay. He says the chain/lock is gone, only wire holding the gate closed and tracks leading off onto our land. I'm tempted to put a spike belt out there for whoever is trespassing...But the horses wander over there so...Going to put on new chain and lock and a sign that says smile your on camera instead.

Just listened, barcher...and lost 18 minutes of my life that I won’t get back. But I do appreciate the laughter. In many regards this is all so silly - and losing only 18 minutes would be way better than the half day that I’ve already lost. Think I’m just pissed on a much bigger level - and perhaps that, in some respects, feels better than the grief.

And good grief, Dragn. WTH is wrong with people??? Have we gone so far that that kind of stuff doesn’t even feel wrong any more? I think that answer is the most disturbing. I really don’t think people even feel like they shouldn’t do this kind of stuff. It’s more a matter of if they can get away with it. Ugh. Just waaayy too familiar of a perspective.

Arrogant. Entitled. Shitheads.

I would call the police. Attempting to communicate with them yourself would be an exercise in futility. Even if they understood the point you were making, what possible motive would they have to truly change their attitudes? And right now, do you really need to see their smirking faces? No contact is good in all types of situations. Let consequences rain down upon them.

That helps coming from you, SHN...given that I personally know your kind spirit. It gives me a more confident frame of reference for my own indignation at this.

Yes, entitled and very very rude. Once you can write off as "thoughtlessness", just not considering other people's feelings or consequences of actions (which is not ok) rather than directed malice. Either way, they've had a warning. Any further dumps don't play nice!

My Grandmother used to live opposite a farm, that side of the road had no pavement (sidewalk) so there was a grass verge, ditch and hedge. Yeahs before my Grandfather had planted daffodil bulbs into the verge. Year on year she would wait for them to flower every spring and they were a great source of joy and comfort. She would always go out and yell at anyone for stealing them (bearing in mind you could buy a small bunch in Asda for 50p). Her neighbour said she shouldn't that she should just ignore it, but I disagree. Little inconsiderate acts like this SHOULD be called out, they might not have intended harm but they certainly did not stop to consider someone else's perspective

I agree with the others - very entitled and yes, it's stealing. I have paid for a dumpster - it's too expensive for them to be availing themselves of YOUR expensive dumpster.

I would definitely file a police report, and if the police won't do anything, I swear that I would remove ALL of their shit and dump it on their front lawn. But, I'm just a bitch that way...

ETA: I would also include on your note to them that they have until XXX time on the very next day to remove their items from your dumpster or you will get the police involved.

[This message edited by Too_Trusting at 2:15 PM, April 9th (Tuesday)]

I would lose my shit. I would definitely tell them to get the shit out or I’d call the police.

Fucking people.

I totally get it. I rented a large dumpster for DD and I to use to clear out XMIL's house last August. It was the largest residential one they had because I knew we would fill it to the brim. And those things aren't cheap! I actually kept an eye on it while we were staying there for that very reason. Fortunately, no one was that much of an asshole. And that is just what they are. Selfish, entitled, assholes.

Had someone actually done that, and there was identifying information, I would have called the police and let them notify them to remove their stuff. There is way too much potential for heated fireworks to confront F2F. I don't trust people not to go off the rails and into the dangerous zone anymore. Let the LEOs handle it.

And, FWIW, I've been in the "Get off my lawn!" group for quite some time now.

Whelp...an update.

The homeowner finally called me. I had spoken to elder elderly mother (and I was nice bc of that) since the homeowner was at work. The HO was nice...blamed it on contractors - which I’m not really buying bc I had specifically asked the mother if they had had any recent work done. I actually would like to believe this is the case but the HO just wasn’t as outraged as I would be had my contractors dumped my stuff on someone else’s property. Whatever. She also stated it would take her a couple of days to get it bc she would have to find a truck. I don’t understand that part either since I would have been all over my contractors to get back out there immediately. She was apologetic...but again, not at the level I think I would have been - and especially given if I had had no fault. Don’t know how to explain it...but it all just didn’t sit well with me. I wish I had called the police rather than addressing it directly. I think the HO had rather just pay me - which is of no benefit really to me bc I need the dumpster. Not running a trash collection service! She ended the conversation with a “I’ll do the best I can” - which honestly felt like a setup for this shit to still be here in a week. I guess we wait and see. I wish I had been more insistent about getting it out of here today. Always a pushover it seems. Ugh.

It's the principle of the matter. I would honestly haul it back over myself, dump it on their lawn, and leave a note taped to their door saying, "just returning what belongs to you."

[This message edited by ibonnie at 3:59 PM, April 9th (Tuesday)]

I’d get people together, get the items out, and dump it on her doorstep. She’s full of shit.

Asked her the number of her contractor so you can call and tell them to come get this shit out. See her response.

[This message edited by Hg65 at 3:50 PM, April 9th (Tuesday)]

She ended the conversation with a “I’ll do the best I can” -

Wow. Seems like she was saying f-you in the nicest possible way.

Nope not ok.

Asking for the contractor number is great. Getting some help to just take all her stuff and dumping it on her lawn is better.

If the stuff isn't heavy move it yourself. Plonk it right on their lawn or in their driveway. Put it on the driveway and tell them (politely and with a smile) that "it was aan easy mistake" so you thought you'd "save them the trouble". Afterall, I'm sure "the contractors" will want to clear it away to appropriate disposal site

Yes,call the police.

We recently had something similar happen. Someone tossed a few bags of their trash into our woods. Husband called the local CO, and told him. The officer went to the woods, and found a few pieces of mail with their name and address. He then went to the address and was told they had moved to a local small town. Officer then called the police department in that town,and they tracked down her current address. He then went to her house. She gave a lame excuse. He told her she had until the end of the week to go clean it up, or there would be legal consequences. By the end of the week, not only had she picked up all of her trash, but the cans, and a few fast food cups that had been tossed alongside the road nearby where her trash had been,was also gone.

And it had rained several inches that week. And it was freezing.

[This message edited by HellFire at 8:12 PM, April 9th (Tuesday)]